All your doubt is a staircase for me
But the first step is the one you believe
And the second could be profound
but that doesn't matter to me
They can have the money and the world,
diamonds and pearls, all I want is to
Follow you to where forever may be
Without a doubt I'll remain by your side
And I'm not about to compromise or say goodbye
Not all of life is cruel or untrue
So don't turn it all inside of you
I'll whisper kisses in your ears
Touch you so soft and warm like falling dew
I'll confess all my love without words to you

Stare into the flame until you see past the light
I fight the sin you've carried like a corpse all these days
Let it all just fall away tonight
How far you go no one knows
You don't want to live to waste another day
Hiding in the shadow of mistakes you've made
You don't want to lose it all
But it feels like you've hit a wall
And now you feel broken and scarred
Out here nothing to you seems clear
Except the moment you decided to move
And disappear into the fear
But, you know there ain't no coming back
When you're still carrying the past
Just let me erase all the blurred lines
Leave a trail of broken pieces for me to find
I know it feels like you're breaking inside, but
I still remember like yesterday
When you had a smile on your face
and dreams in your eyes
I'm missing those days
Something has gotten in the way
And I just want to hold you up and tell you
it will be okay

Don't let your mind get so weary
Don't let your heart get so heavy
Because within you I see a strength
that just needs to be dug up like a treasure once buried
When your soul is lonely
Just don't lose your faith in me, because I know
All you've ever wanted was a place to call home
Well I'm here to shelter you and miss you when you're gone
Just speak to me so I understand your tongue
Bring what's yours and take what's mine
Just leave all the rest behind
I'm not here to stain your mind
With make believe and pretend

You can put yourself on trial over and over again
But you can't make your guilt pay for a sin
Just like you can cage an animal
But you can't take away it's rage
All I want is to be for you a gentle touch
Assuring you love is enough
I might be an angel without wings but,
I've got the pixie dust so,
All you have to do now is *believe

I've had enough
and I say it sadly
The last year
has been driving
me insane
Everything I thought
I knew
hurts so badly but,
All the daggers
in the world
could never
cut me like the words
you let roll
off your careless tongue
Now,
I hear you whisper
with your hand
resting on my hip
You will always
feel my fingertips
tracing the scars
and tattoos upon
your skin
It took so long
for you to get
close enough  
to me
I didn't want
to be a curse
as your patience
was always
my blessing
But all the doctors
and the pills
can't cure the way
I feel about myself
Too afraid to ask for help
from anyone, for anything
It takes time
prescribing a means
to an end
And I'm
Feeling addicted to
this prescription
The problem lies
within the help
for me
this time
So, I just smile through
the pain
and suffer as
I let go of
everything

I don't know how we came to be
But without you now I'd be incomplete,
Even though you're a slave to your job
and addicted to magic cards,
I'll never lose my faith in you.
We know two becoming one is lethal
But if we don't wanna die alone
We gotta do something to try and fill the void
And you can't buy love
why would you even try?
Sometimes the truth won't make you happy
But I'm not going to lie
The one thing I know to be true is...
It ain't what you say it's what you do
And my heart beats only for you.
I know I'm far from perfection
I'm perfectly imperfect with all my scars of affliction,
But when you feel like giving up,
When no matter what you do it's never good enough,
And when the going gets rough
You will always have my love.
When you're crying out
And the ones you thought were friends
haven't stuck around,
When I get angry
And say what I don't mean,
When I keep my heart protected
not on my sleeve,
You still don't have to question if my heart
belongs to you,
Because it belongs only to you.
No matter where we go
Or even if we don't,
No matter how hard the adjustment bureau tries
I'm never leaving your side,
Because this kind of love don't die.

© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved

Trying to find our way back to sanity again
Just take a deep breath and hold on tight
And I'll keep hanging by every word you say
Even if you don't want to speak it's okay
I'm perfectly content just listening to you breathe
With you is where I want to be
So, just try to look past all the shadows in your mind
Seek the truth in us and you will find
What it feels like to feel alive again
Just shake the calluses from your heart
I will chase your silhouette for the rest of my life
I just want to be with you for the rest of time
I'd rather not know where we'll be
Than be alone and convinced I know
The world keeps spinning round
Even though ours is usually upside down
I wouldn't change that for anything because
I've got nothing else to lose
When I found you I lost it all
Everything I've ever known before has let me down
But with you I just let go
I let you turn me inside out
And all I know is I'm not sure about anything
But I wouldn't have it any other way
All the spinning, turning, watching, burning
Walking, crawling, climbing, falling
Doesn't matter anymore
Because I found my life's meaning
Deep within your heart
For all we go through
I would never want to change you
As we break and bend
And wrestle with our doubts
Through the rising and falling apart
We have discovered who we are
I know you struggle with your thoughts
I just want to be the one to change your minds locks
And I will always try to read between the lines of
What you say and what you've said because
You are the strength that keeps me going
The hope that keeps me trusting
You light up my soul
You are my purpose, my reason to be
There's no way I can stand in your presence
And not be moved
You steal my heart and take my breath away
You're all I want
You're all I need
Baby, you're everything to me
Just let me inside even when it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts of you that I need to see
Just let me hold onto you above everything
My reality is in your eyes
And even though we maybe crashing into the unknown
With you beside me I feel at home
Talk is cheap
So I give you my word that I can keep
I love you the most
In every way I am yours and
I won't let go
I won't give you up no matter what
I'll take the weight of the world
Off you for a while
I'll be your peace
When insanity strikes your mind
I'll light up the dark
I'll hide you forever inside my heart
I'll make the world go away
If only for a little while

My body aches to be in your arms
My face longs to feel your hands touch
My mouth anxiously awaits your lips
My ears contently listen for your soft whispers
My eyes get lost in your's
My hands can't wait to touch your body
My hair lies in wait of your fingers to run through it
My hips stand restlessly anticipating your strong grip
My neck moans for your kiss
My tongue longs to embrace your's
My legs become weak
My feet ready to run
My soul cries out for yours
My head is confused by your ways
And yet my heart is very hesitant...
© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved

Time is such a messed up thing isn't it..?
There's never enough of it is there...?
It either crawls by when you're waiting for something
or it flies by when you're having fun.
I hate living by a clock.
It seems so silly.
I would rather watch the sand fall in an hour glass than
watch the hands tick on a clock.
I would prefer there be no time at all.
I would like to not have to live by a clock.
I'm always in a rush, always running behind.
And it's all because of time.
I get paid according to hours.
I get off work according to a clock.
I make money by the amount of time I work.
A thing an inanimate object runs my life...
How messed up is that?
It's of the essence they say.
It flies by they say.
Blink and it's gone.
Mess around and lose it.
Lose too much and regret it.
Use it wisely and you'll be more productive.
Cherish it for it goes by quickly.
Take time to smell the roses.
Make time for the things you love.
I wish I had more time for that.
What a contradiction time is.
What a rat race we all live in.
Enjoy the time you get while you're here because you can't get it back.
Time is something you can't ever get back.
How sad is that?
You can't go back only forward.
Sometimes I want to go back.
Only in your mind can you back track in time.
Memories are made in time.
All things heal with time they say.
Time, love, and tenderness heals a broken heart I guess.
I just don't get it.
I just don't understand.
Stupid Myans why did they invent this?
You can reflect on time and look back on it but you can't stop it.
You can't get it back no matter how hard you try.
Time well spent.
I have to leave your side according to the time on the clock.
I make love to you as the minutes rush on by.
I hold you so tight cause I don't want to ever let you go.
But somehow I can't ever hold you tight enough to make the time slow.
I think i've come to the conclusion that time just *****!
It dictates way too much!!!

© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved

What do you think about when you look at me these days?
I know we're not the fairytale you dreamed that we'd be when
We took each others hands and dove into a mystery
How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before our scars and secrets were brought into the light
Now on this hallowed ground
We've drawn our battle lines
Will we make it?
Its going to take more than promises this time
Only we can change our minds
Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together...?
Bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Maybe healing can still be spoken and save us?
The only way we'll last forever is broken together
How lonely it gets by your side
When you're busy building kingdoms and chasing dreams
You're letting love get left behind
Now I pray our broken hearts can realign
And that we don't give up this fight
Will you still choose to light the way for my ever wandering heart?
Not because of what I've done
But because of who you are?
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
But don't you still hear me when im calling?
Will you still be there to catch me when im falling?
Don't you see I am yours, I am yours
I'm the eyes that see your sin and still
look on you with love and watch you rise again
Your voice calls out through the rain and  calms this storm in me
All work and no play has left us lost
But still moving full steam chasing the American dream
And you work and you build with your own two hands and you pour all you have into a castle made of sand but now the wind and rain are crashing and time will tell just how long your kingdom will stand
Another wasted weekend and we're slipping away
Whoever dies with the most toys wins but if we lose love what have we gained in the end?
I'll take a shack on the rocks over a castle in the sand any day because
All I really want is you
We are broken together but
Your love is still extravagant your friendship intimate
No greater love I've ever known won't you capture my heart again?
Please don't let me go
I'm not the  only one who fails
We know every line by heart by now but only together can we really fall apart
Can my love ever be enough to make you stay?
Is there such thing as a love that never dies or fades away?
All the uncertainty of tomorrow, the pains of yesterday
There is still hope if we just believe
Its a slow fade when you give yourself away when black and white turn to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price always has to be paid
People never crumble in a day so
Be careful ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise the end is always near
Be careful lips what you say for empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
The journey from your mind to your heart is closer than you're thinking just when you think you're standing you find you might be sinking
I try to find a new way to tell you, or someway to show you what you mean to me but there's nothing new and I exhaust myself searching
what else can I do?
I find myself empty and face down not having you to cling to
Needing of love only you can give I am humbled and broken at your feet
I stand amazed at the work of your hands
Maybe brokenness is what we need in the end
Just hold me in your arms I know you've come so far to find me
You were fighting and fearful hiding your heart away
But I've been trying so hard to show you because there are no words I could say
If you could just see my heart then you would know all I want to do is care for you
It was my love for you that brought you so far to find me
Hold it all together everyone needs you strong but life hits you out of nowhere and barely leaves you hanging on
So when you're tired of fighting chained by your control there's freedom in surrender just lay it down and let it go
You're not alone just stop holding on and just let me hold onto you
If your eyes are on the storm you'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are set on me you'll know I always have and always will
Not a tear is ever wasted in time we'll understand
We're painting beauty with these ashes
Love is in our hands
In the storm is where well find each other so come to me and find your rest
And maybe we're broken but maybe our love is meant to be that way...

Take back the photos
For they break my heart
And I won't wait by the telephone
With only silence ringing in my eardrum
Don't let the color of your eyes fade
I can't stop thinking about your voice
Or the things you used to say
It's keeping me up at night
Salt from my tears rusting shut my eyes
The color of my heart is beginning to fade away
Like a bloodstained Hollywood ending
Just another night with a sad song
Turn the car key and sing along
I still believe the lies when
I look in your pretty eyes
Another hour in front of a mirror
Suddenly the scars appear so much clearer
I cross my heart and hope to die
You gave your all and so did I
With a shivering heart I wait
Seeing you is seeing red
Swallowing tears shed
Until they are out of sight
But not really gone
Even when I turn out the light
Wipe the blood from your eyes
It's a heartache that you can never satisfy
It's cold with frozen kisses
Frost on my skin from the cold embraces
Holding hands until knuckles start turning white
Nothing in this soul left to say to make things right
It's okay if you only see gray
You'll see color again someday

You speak of love as if you've never known a true lover,
But you were my best friend
How could I have known any better?

I know you got a lot of pain that was born inside you,
But instead of growing stronger
You let it divide you

How could you be so careless with my heart?
Piece by piece my world was torn apart,
And now my hope has nothing to revolve itself around

Didn't you know I was always yours to touch and to keep...?
I loved you from the moment of our first kiss
So the rest should of been history

You were always trying to save me
Never knowing you were the only thing that could
in the end really hurt me

Now you see me whenever you close your eyes
And maybe one day you'll understand why,
Love comes slow but goes so fast

When you're staring at the ceiling in the dark
With the same old empty feelings in your heart,
Maybe you will understand why everything you touch seems to die

Dreams will come slow but go so fast
And you will realize that true love is the only thing that lasts,
You will see me in your sleep, never again to hold or to keep

Because you let your hope in me go....

© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved

Walk the silent emptiness
that leads me into shattered tomorrows
Tear away the skin
that has taken me so long to stitch
Licking my wounds from yesterday
Feeling so hollow today
Time passes never waiting for me
Open me up and expose me to your ways
I am twisted like your brain
Immune to what I've became
I've been taken for granted
And it's broken me
Wearing me down to nothing
Everything is compromised
What will you think
When all you see is only a part of the other me?
Because you can peel away the outside
But all you'll find is the shadow of a soul inside
Take a drag and look at the world
with dying eyes
Staring at it dead while giving it head
waiting for all the things I love to never come alive
It's okay if you want to hate me
I'm sure I'd be better off without the animosity
And I wont believe in you when I'm reminded
of everything you put me through
You tried to make me feel sorry for
your self-inflicted misery
It's okay if you lie to me
But don't think I'll have anything left to give
when you come crawling back again
Don't look back just so you can lean on me
You've taken all the life there was out of me
With the words you say, pushing me away
Living your life a different way
Expecting me to do the same
Separating our lives and then wondering
why
I up and walked away
Too much time
Too many wasted days
Too many things I've never spoken
Now I'm setting free all this pent up emotion
I've never told you what to do
Never made you a promise I couldn't be held to
How many different faces could you show me?
How could you always be right?
Living in your world of fantasy
Dramatizing everything
Leaving me dead and broken again
You never wanted to be sober
Just wanted to feel numb all the time and
You can always justify whether you're
walking dead or alive
Wasting your time however you like
Does life feel better with a hangover sometimes?
You were the spoken truth, I was the lies in you
I made you shine in everything you would do
I was your lighted way and you my darkest day
Funny how you could always rely on me
But I can never depend on you
We are suppose to be best friends but
This is no longer the life for me
This isn't the way I want things to be
I was your peace of mind, confusing all your time
I ran through your veins, and you were my pain

It's happened again so here we go
You're afraid to open up or just give in
Because I've hurt you again
Like I've been known to do before
But how don't you see that I'm just here to heal your wounds
To pick up and fix the broken pieces on the floor
And baby you maybe jaded but don't ever fade away
If you only knew how alive you made me feel
Where do we go to find ourselves
When this world brings us so much pain
How do we cope with the things we hate
(the things that made us feel this way)
Can't you see the effect you have on me
You stay inside, try to hide, deny
But I just always want to make you smile
When do we know it's alright to take the jump and not look back...?
We may never know and
That's what makes this life worth living for
Taking chances, loving, giving yourself away
And I can't stand this state you're in
I just want to make all your fears go away
Because you make me weak every single day
I've been trying my best to figure this out
But I'm tired of pretending I'm doing okay
I sold my soul to the idea that we'd be better off this way
We've had all the conversations leading up to these frustrations
Now I'm lost and it's enough to drive you away
I thought I was doing just fine
But I've lost my crutch to lean on
You're the only one who can rescue me now
On you I don't ever give up, even when I'm fed up
You're my only hope
My heartache's melody, insuring all this pain inside of me
Distance overwhelming me, I'm lost without you
We both know these times are heavy
I've played it back a thousand times in my head
The perfect scene I want to keep living
It will all pay off in the end, I just want to see us through all of this
Because I'm not ready to let you down
So, tell me can you forgive me now,
For ******* you up, for bringing you down?
And it's a sign the way your eyes reflect in mine
We'll be just fine, you and me, if we just stay us the way we were meant to be
Because I'm blown away every time I see your face
We keep shifting from the foot to the head
Shaking the frame of this bed where we lay
Catch our breathes and wonder what's to come next in the common tasks of a day
You're all talk and you've been teasing me enough  and
You hate it when I call your bluff
But it  doesn't really matter in the end
Because all I ever really want is to stay in your arms, safe, take the force of the blow
You said it, I meant it, but we don't seem to notice anymore
Tried to prevent it, but how do you stop what you can't control?
And we've been here before, feeling like we can't take much more
I try to put myself in your shoes, but it's of no use
I'll never know what it's like to be you
And when we say now that things will get better,
Does it mean anything at all?
Wish I could take you away from everything bad and erase all the pain
But I always tend to bite off more than I can chew, and things don't work out the way I want them to
And I know it's not your fault, just hands we get dealt in life
with always the same amount of cards
But my luck has turned to hell and it's made me a skeptic now
But you still manage to leave me breathless somehow
You think I don't get it when your world is crumbling down, but  I'm always around, trying to make you smile
This doesn't make sense
It's not fair and it feels all wrong
But regardless you still mean everything to me
And I don't know how to let you go
Because you are my weakness,
The only one I ever truly love.

I'm tired of reading only fiction
Trying to find some truth between your lies
And I lie awake at night with blue eyes that no longer cry
All I know now is what I feel inside

You were broken the day you were born
It was dark even when I held a light for you
But that was in vain
Because you remain a promise broken yet
to this day

When I was constantly fighting the current
I forget how to live
And I tried to reach you
But I ran out of strength

Ecstasy now is all you need
Because you're so vainglorious and
The world you live in is too fast where
Nothing's real and nothing lasts

Your lust turned to anger
And I remain here
But I don't trust at all or know how true love feels
The *** and loneliness
Take what's your's and leave me what's left
I'll survive this though
I maybe torn to pieces
Blind and waiting for a reason
But I'm still in love with all your sins and
Where we stopped is where I begin

It's hard sometimes to deal
When I can still remember the way you feel
Now I'm just an angry girl
Drowning in this petty world
Because I swallowed all your bitter pills
But I don't need now what you ain't got
I've killed myself from the inside out

I wished for things I did not need
And what I've chased has not yet set me free
I still get scared but I'm not crawling
Even when everything seems all wrong
I won't be completely broken

My head is full of doubt
But your lucks soon to run out on you
And then you will see why dreams don't come true
Must be hard to see when you're constantly choking on your regrets
and what you think is the truth in your head

I'm not like you with your faceless lies
And your cold dead heart and empty black eyes
I'll make it through
All your hope maybe gone but
I'll ****** if you'll take away mine too

I was in love with the things I tried to get you to see
and believe
Now you're just a long lost dream to me and
I will never love someone like you again
Because you were my heart's demise and love's bitter end...

I'm tired of begging (you)
for the things I want.

My heart I can't control
for you rule my soul.

I know that face
That chiseled,
Rugged,
August,
Attractive face.

I know those eyes
Those deep,
Alluring,
Chestnut-colored,
Playful,
Romantic eyes.

I know those lips
Those full,
Inviting,
Indulgent,
Kissable,
Sensual,
Warm lips.

I know that smile
That genuine,
Broad,
****,
Friendly,
Gorgeous,
Delightful,
Charming smile.

I know that voice
That intoxicating,
Soothing,
Gentle,
Silvering,
Admirable,
Enticing,
W­itty,
Smoky voice.

I know that skin
That olive colored,
Tough,
Smooth,
Hot,
Touchable skin.

I know that body
That masculine,
Appealing,
Divine,
Fine,
Magnificent,
Ravishing,
Hard body.

I know those hands
Those strong,
Pleasing,
Gentle,
Captivating
Protecting,
Hard working hands.

I know that mind
That imaginative,
Creative,
Fun,
Beautiful,
Intelligent,
Always thinking mind.

I know that heart
That heroic,
Passionate,
True,
Faithful,
Strong,
Undying heart,
That loves mine

© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved

Here I am restlessly waiting, knowing I'll have to be leaving soon
I'm staring at your perfection and I never want that to end
Because, I don't want to ever have to start over
And I was always scared of the dark before
But now it's all I'm longing for
This isn't a silly moment
It's not the storm after the calm
This is the deep, fading breath of
The love we've been working on
You can't seem to hold me like I want you to
And I can't feel you in my arms
Nobody's going to come save us now
We've pulled too many false alarms.

I was the one you always dreamed of
You were the one I tried to draw
This isn't nothing to me
Baby, you were the only light I ever saw
You make the most of all the tragedy
And I act like a ***** because I can
I try to push you away
And you say things that hurt me
Until we're left feeling *****
And we don't understand.
So I'll just go cry about it
And drinking is what you'll do
But I'll still hold the keys
And you'll still have the best of my memories.

Coming home when every moment there is lost
in your work
All my love and warmth turned cold as dirt
Every stare is a waste if it's not on baby girl
As strangers walk right on through
And the best of our friendship breaks in two
Now I'm feeling further from you everyday
Your head's in the stars because you're worlds away
So I tell myself I'm moving on and letting this be
We once had a fire but now we need a spark to make us last
Just look at me baby, can't you see I'm still burning for you eternally
I should probably walk away but then I look at you
And I get the feeling I should just stay
Because loosing this love, losing you, would be losing everything
So I don't care if the one thing that's killing me is wrong
Because I can't stop these feelings
I'll just continue to hold on

We once were brave like soldiers
Holding each other like we were ever so broken
Now we just need to hold this love together and be open
And it's okay to be scared
Because we've both been shaken but this doesn't have
To be the end of the love we've been making
We're burning up and I don't want this love turning
To only smoke and ashes.

© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved

We were suppose to take this slow
But we're dancing right across that line
Because you have your lips an inch away from mine
How long before they touch?
I guess we are both pyros who like playing with fire
Risking getting burnt
One kiss and I lost it
Didn't know what I was doing
So caught up in the moment
Once your lips touched mine
It was all over
I whisper,"baby do you really love me?"
How head over heels can a person be?
You know I'm worried about tomorrow and
The days and miles that are bound to come between
But we both knew this was going to be tough
So lets just make the most of every second we got
And pray what we have is enough
Lets just take it day by day
Bridge by bridge
Mile by mile
Tonight I got my hair down
Kissing your neck
You say, "baby you better stop that"
Do we take the fast lane or the back seat?
Better pick one
All self control is about to leave
No more keeping hands to ourselves
Welcome to the Jungle baby
We're walking on the wild side now
What a Perfect Crime
I stole your heart and you stole mine
I want to feel you in my blood
You're my outlaw
Double trouble's a lot more fun
You like to rock hard
I like to kiss soft
It's like dancing with the devil
In the cold November rain,
Knockin' on Heaven's Door,
All the while singing Sweet Child of Mine
Riding 95 sitting shotgun pretty in 1968 SS Nova chevy
Turning this town into our own Paradise City
Running wide open
Boy give me some more
Let go of them horses
Tonight lets rock like Guns N' Roses