I'm sure you never guessed He was with me.
At first No you never guessed that smell you smelt was me you're not at fault Neither is He loved you that's why He never left you instead he found me easy prey happy to be the one at fault the
one who should have kept her hands to herself and asked more questions instead of accept a kiss from a stranger whos eyes never meet mine truly
   I never cared after all I didnt realize didnt wanna pay attention to the ever so reality
    instead I pretended you didn't exist and him calling me at 11:30 every night was norm
  I was Wrong you believed even though he wrote his name on my napkin and took off the ring  
  So he could put it all away I was a threat to the fact that indeed maybe the love he felt for you is mechanically programmed into him So in fact its not your fault or his directly that you lost control and killed me in a brief moment I'm just a dead girl who keeps the two of you together now right
  with out this secret buried in the brush separation would've crept  and my mother would know what happened to her child He must love you
He didn't even  look me in the eyes instead He closed mine
Like some how I wouldn't hear the shovel scraping

*DeadGirl

I can still smell you on my pillow.
The space beside me now empty,
The room dark and still.
Time moving slower,
As if to make me wait.
My mind drifting back
To the fire that burned
Just hours before.
The faint scratch marks
Throbbing warmly as I smile.
I close my eyes
And wait to dream you,
Back into my bed…

Everybody knows something is there.
In your eyes behind hands approaching your face.
Take a drag, watch the glow and drift of ash.
But we're from a silenced society.
Speaking is weak and leads to your downfall.
Better hope the best things in your life
don't waste away,
Just like you flick away the wasted half a smoke.
Both the **** of an ironically cruel joke.
All because we've been taught through repetition to keep certain things to ourselves.

I wish
I pray
I could spend sweet moments
like this
with you
sitting over warm cups of black coffee
with sugar
or cream
or however you wanted it
early morning
late night
anytime would be alright
with you
right here
all the cares might disappear
your eyes
and lips
**** slow contemplate burning cherry tips
our fixation
not caffeination
brings me the kind of buzz I want now
to kiss
to hold
someone to share and savor the cold
on those
silent days
everything but us could fade away
all over
these things
tell me what your heart springs
It's love
I'd show
cuddle, huddle, breathe, slow
don't need
any thing
smokes, coffee, the silence they bring
no words
just connection
sit silent sweet in reflection
stoges, coffee
now or never
perfect seconds we'd be together.