Can't I just be someone else?
Can't I just go back in time?
Can I just stop feeling?
Can my emotions simply die?

Die in time
Die in space
Die to lift me from this place

Place my heart
On ice in case

In case I want it back one day

One day I'll wake up
With love beside me
Happiness inside me
Peace dispite the

Odds are that it wont be you
It wont be anyone I ever

Knew I would be sad again
I can't shake the heavy oppression when
The darkness calls out my name
And I am forced to answer him saying

I have nothing else but emptiness.

I'd take the pill without regrets.

Woman sets the table
For two.
It was a bout of wishful thinking.
She knew he wouldn't be home in time for dinner.
Her husband.

She sets down two plates
two sets of silverware
two glasses
A bottle of wine.

His shift ended at 5pm
He would take the scenic route home
and he would be home by 5:30pm
But not lately.

Lately it's been 9pm
Lately it's been short 'hello's
Lately it's been a peck here and there
Lately it's been lack of eye contact
Lately it's been
'I have some unfinished paperwork at the office'

Unfinished paperwork.

They used to be a trophy couple;
The pair that stayed true when tried.
He used to take her to the golf park
Just to admire the way the green
complemented her hazel eyes.
He used to wake her up at the crack of dawn
to watch her watch the Sun rise.
He used to tell her jokes
and laughter had her holding her sides.
And maybe he even loved her
at the time.

Now they were strangers.
They didn't see eye to eye.
Not even and arguement
Just an uneasy settlement.
Nothing ever fit right.

She just wanted to talk to him
To find out what she had done wrong
To have pushed him away so distantly
Or if he had felt this way all along

They had came to a crossroad
And each took separate paths
There was nothing he or she could do
To make this marriage last.

Let's leave it this way.
With me all mixed up
And only knowing 1 + 1 = 2
With you not knowing
The full effect of what you do.

Let's leave it this way.
With us holding hands.
You because we're friends
And me compensating for lost plans.

I'll leave it this way.
With you only knowing the half of it.
And me never facing the situation
Out of force of habit.

We need to leave it this way.
Because if we don't, I'll lose you
And that would do me worse
Than any rejection could do.

We're leaving it this way.
With everything out in the open.
I haven't really said much
But these words were a token.

It feels like I gave you my virginity.
When I told you how I felt about you
Though I knew it wasn't time.
I knew I wasn't ready.

It feels like standing naked on national television.
When I showed you one of the many poems I'd written for you.
Though I made it clear with myself
That I would never let you see that side of me.

It feels like a yearning to hide.
When you said the words were emotional and beautiful
Though the words I'd chosen to show you
Were the mildest I had.

It feels like being lost in the wrong city.
When you're as gentle as possible in telling me you don't feel the same.
Though It's completely broken me,
You tell me you're here for me when I need you.

But i just need to go away for a while.

I turned to face you.
And you were already looking at me.
My breath hitched.
My vision blurred
To protect me
From the blinding radiance of your beauty
The glow of pale pink in your cheeks.
I smiled and turned away.

I hate what we are.
How we can't be more.
This is the worst its felt in a while.
With me falling hard
And you feeling sorry for me.
It's not the first time it's happened.
I shouldn't be this forlorn.
But the way I feel about you
Is something stronger than what I've felt before.

I'm sorry I'm not what you want.
All I want is to be good enough for you.
But I'm not.
I'm just...
I'm so sorry.