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 Jul 2013 Ashlee
Nobody
She sees herself as a machine,
Something that can be fixed
By a brilliant engineer, as herself

She's aware that she needs help
Yet she refuses every offer she gets
Cause she believes the broken ones
Can be fixed by brilliant engineers, like her

A day came when she doesn’t know herself no more,
So she tried to know herself once more
And rebuilt it like she used to rebuild a broken machine

Yes, she was slowly destroying herself
Like a mechanic engineer destroying
A broken machine
To know what’s wrong with it

Drugs for her brain
Toxic pills for her liver
Cigarettes for her lungs
Blades for her skin

She finally knew what’s wrong with her
And tried to fix herself once more
But none of her attempts worked
Instead, her attempts destroyed herself even more

She came to a realisation
That humans are no machines
Once broken, no one can fix them,
Not even themselves
 Jul 2013 Ashlee
Nobody
A part of her is being eradicated every night
Every time she goes to doze,
The darkness within her guzzles that part
Like a cloud casing the light of moon in the night

She woke up every morning longing for that part
A part of her vivid and memorable yesterday
That leisurely taken away from her
And gradually placing it with emptiness

A day came when darkness utterly frenzied
The diminutive radiance left in her
That day the old her was wholly vanished
Her exquisite self can be found nowhere

She’s alive but living without existence
Felt nothing but pain, emptiness, and loneliness
Those emotions used to be unknown to her
Yet became all she known after that tragic day

Light left her childlike eyes
Brimming with nothing but emptiness
Yet people seen her with overflowing love
Cause she lingered mysterious till the last beat of her heart
 Jul 2013 Ashlee
Nobody
No senses
 Jul 2013 Ashlee
Nobody
I was in front of you but you just looked through me
I yelled at you but you didn't hear a single word
I punched you but you didn't feel anything
I sprayed a vanilla scent but you smelled nothing

I cried because I felt like I got stabbed in the heart
But you didn't notice because you were blinded by your sight
I faked a smile just for you to notice but all you saw was my lovely smile
I stopped talking just to show you I was in so much pain
But you just thought I needed some time alone

So I said I love you and good night
But you just said see you tomorrow and smiled
The next day I was found dead with a genuine smile
But all you saw was a damaged brunette you loved but ignored

— The End —