Deep, dark and numb inside
My broken thoughts fall like pieces of shattered glass
Crashing at my feet with the rest of my world
Scarring up my skin as they drop
Forever marking me as something obscene

                                                                              Locked away pain,
                                                                            Makes the best smile.
                                                                         I’ll smile for you always.
                                                                           Leave you untouched.


While shaky fingers stitch me together
Pills make pain fade like magic potions
A wonderful shade of grey settles in my brain
The best I can hope for, all things considered.

                                                                           You’re really trying,
                                                                              I guess I will too.
                                                                       I’ll smile for you always.
                                                                         Leave you untouched.

Tempting old habits make my skin itch
Pleading the best kind of medicine
The pain that will send me high out of grey
But under watchful eyes it’s pointless to dream

                                                                     You’re sounding so happy,
                                                                        How can I not be too?
                                                                       I’ll smile for you always.
                                                                        Leave you untouched.

My rolling stomach won’t stop yelling
My racing thoughts won’t slow down
I could use a dose of you more than ever
But instead I’ll swallow hard and try to sleep

                                                                       I’ll smile for you always.
                                                                       I’ll leave you untouched.
                                                                       Safe from my madness.
                                                                       Safe from my hang ups.

What are we, my dear?
Two songbirds tightperched
On a branch, livening the day?
I could say yes to that.

But you want to live by the sea,
So seagulls we'll be:
Wheeling and honking and diving
And coming home to shore.

But then, I never learned to swim.
So maybe two little scuttlecrabs
In broken bottle shells,
Holding claws and bubbling nonsense.

Still I have grander thoughts than these,
You and I as brightshining dreamthings
Houring our whiles away with magic
That is coldest when warmed
And floats farthest when the tide is out.

(Perhaps it is risky to indulge in dreams,
The fickleness of seconds ticking makes them
Sand under one's feet; but I have walked on sand,
And I have dreamed you,

And here you are.)

Some are ice
          and some are stone
some are untouched
          some never known
some made of gold
          whilst others black
some are taken
           others given back
some are broken
           some incomplete
some are bitter
           while others sweet
some are held
            some are lost
some are given
            Sone are crossed

but mine
                Mine is reserved
                                             for you.

Let time and space be captured in a picture, let the beauty of the world be found in one place.

Let me adore the treasure searched for by kings. Let me look at your face and believe paradise exists...

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Silent and forever speechless,
I like the intonation of your breath too much,
any cacophony would **** our spirit.

I spend so much time
convincing people that
the sun exists,
that I didn't have any
time to convince myself
that there's still
daylight at this time
of morning.

Never withdraw,
for that is surrender.
Such impact from question,
such hate from contender.
Uncomfortable mission,
The deed is now done.
The silence is haunting.
The silence does stun.
An answer is spoke,
it glues one it both.
A pulse gives up pulsing
as words are now oath.
Heart is to blossom
from seeds that do lay.
Yet nothing's eternal,
and the heart always pays.

Creating false hope,
dancing with fate.
I allow myself less
than my heart would now take.
I'm teased with elegance
beyond what I've known,
like a cancer with spite,
you've dismantled my throne.
Woeful misjudgements.
Harsh disbelief.
Your mind can not poison
what love can not chief.
But dear do I love,
despite all the rest.
I'm aware of mortality
too much, I confess.