arubybluebird

arubybluebird Jul 2014

I fidget because the look in your eyes is smoldering. And quite frankly, I want to know what it is in your life that brings you fear the most. I like boys who use precise diction and say "I love you" to their mother at the end of a phone-call, especially when they repeat themselves four times to make sure she's heard. My guilty pleasures consist of reading books that I should not be reading. I am dissatisfied with my able to be reached yet so far away dreams. I dream more during the day than I do at night. It is too late, I am already in-love with you, Tom Waits. I am the most un-punctual person you'll ever meet. I am the worst at texting back, replying to e-mails and answering phone calls. Social communication is not my thing. I'll write you twenty-three poems if you ask me to. I treat myself to Starbucks more than I should. I worked hard for this four dollars and eighty-five cents cup of joe, I ****** well deserve it. I ****** well am a mess. I find comfort in oblivion. Do you ever cry just to feel the mystery of liquid on your skin? Do you ever bleed just to make sure that your body is alive? Do you know just how sad you truly are? Do you know that you're the loveliest mind I've encountered by far? I hope, I hope you do. Oh, but it's better if you don't.

arubybluebird Jul 2014

wild nothing

I remember wanting to disappear
I remember not knowing what to write
Or how to feel

I remember wanting to be a whisper
And getting lost in the dark

I thought perhaps I'd be able to find solace
In the blur of Los Angeles karoake bars
I remember wanting to get lost
In its endless boulevards

I walked as though the moon
were trying to catch up with my feet
Breathing became difficult
I was merely a shadow

I came across a billboard that read "PARE DE SUFRIR"
A few blocks over proudly stood a church of scientology
I remember wanting to forget everything I had ever learned
About religion

Promises no longer moved me
Sincerity no longer moved me
I no longer desired the knowledge of restoring hope
I wanted to be moved

I remember wanting to be a hologram
So I could be at many places at once

I remember all the words running through my body
like a marathon
I remember feeling like the sound of a siren
echoing in the distance

I remember feeling so wild
I remember feeling like nothing
I remember inhaling the night
My paper lungs drenched in syrup

I remember not feeling like myself
I remember wanting to be somebody else

I remember
More than anything
Wanting
To be

arubybluebird Jul 2014

Untitled

i don't think I'll love you forever
forever could never be long enough

arubybluebird Jun 2014

ce n'est pas un poème

buy a cactus, learn to care again. drink a cup of coffee under the moon, with a friend or with a lover or by yourself. it's okay to do things by yourself, it's okay to be your own lover. take a train ride somewhere far, put away your cellphone, look around you, observe. strangers can be beautiful. the trees and blur of times passing from outside your window are beautiful. exist. let yourself think, let yourself feel. stop asking for permission. simply be.

arubybluebird Jun 2014

art licks

don't forget the red stained kiss marks I left on your cheek everytime we used to say goodbye. don't forget the time we stood shoulder to shoulder on the edge of the sea, our toes soaked in mud, oceans tide at our knees. remember the breeze, how it lingered through our hair, how it left shivers on our skin. remember how we felt, even if we no longer feel.

baby, remember when you loved me.

arubybluebird Jun 2014

drunk and with dreams

write the truest thing you know
even if makes you sad
persepective starts to change
a new gloaming
stop listening to your mind
read between your ******-up lines
drunk and in-loss
the emptiness starts to creek between the shallow spaces of your ribs
breath, you stop breathing
their whispering is never-ending
throughout the night
darling, will you ever be anything enough?
your mind it's in your mind
plague of maddening darkness
there is no frenzy
you were never very charming
always in-between
make up your mind
make up your life
take off your blue eyeshadow
take off your clothes
you've never been quite cool
make up your heart
last years tears stream past the valley of your cheek bones
fall out of your drought
fall out of your image
fall in love with yourself again
I won't remind you of your insecurites
love, I have forgotten them
drunk and with dreams
I lift you up
to bury you under

arubybluebird Jun 2014

m i m i c r y

Beloved I know
I am nothing special in your eyes
But you see
This is the first time
I write a poem on a napkin
And it's all because of you