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Toes                                    
         curl over                         a grassy ledge
above a raging sea            Whispers
on the wind say nothing to
save descents to me
~
I am not the ocean.
The ocean cannot fit in a drugstore at nine pm, blinking up at fluorescent lights
hearing giggling
being ashamed.
The ocean drowns the people inside her, if she wants to or cradles them but, I?
I am drowned. I am cradled. Held and held down by so many tides, so many hands,
ever-changing never-staying.
The ocean commits herself, she stays put, she holds open her palms and whispers
"I am not afraid to let you stay here. I am not afraid of you, exploring my depths."
I am not the ocean.
Girl, you're already
A walking genocide.
Armed with your 
favorite prescription
and all the reasons
why
you wanna escape
the inside

With a bomb strapped
and wire tapped
to your heart beat
to the only constant
of grace
that you stepped out of
in the stutters you gait

Steady your impulses girl
you don't need another slip-up
some emotional trigger

Blowing you 
out of proportion
out of your body 
The one you were 
never comfortable with

From what you saw
should be beauty
the red herring
of reality distortion
the magazines
the billboards
the Goddess abortion
Were you born in '98?

so was I.
let's do the maths.
that makes you fifteen,
even sweet sixteen.

Methuselah, not my name.
not even my middle fame, unclaimed.

Course meaning clear!

Lived a long time coming,
Picked up yesterday my three year old boy,
Third of a third of a third of a third
Of a half of me,
Who I only see once a year,
And we fell in love once again,
all over as is our style,
Annually, annuellement.

Went to the cemetery
Go once a year,
Where they have buried
The lineage.

On the first,
From near two millennium ago,
And upon the each of and the
every one of his descendants,
Psalm 37:37.

They wrote
upon their markers
David's words

לז  שְׁמָר-תָּם, וּרְאֵה יָשָׁר:    כִּי-אַחֲרִית לְאִישׁ שָׁלוֹם. 37          
  Mark the man of integrity,
  and behold the upright;
  for there is a future for
  the man of peace.

An enticing blessing, and curse,
A passed down warning goal.

What's this got to do me,
I got love, poetry, and
French, geometry, and history,
And cute boys on Facebook to study!

Plenty.
You were once three.
You will be someday
Not just fifteen, sixteen, but
Three hundred and fifteen
Just like me.

Your cells will be embedded in
Others,
So take care mr and miss 1998,
On that banner, wrapped
across your chest,
If you win the contest
Of a good life,
Better write down something smart
That is worth living for,
On the palm of you hand.
Tattoo it where you will see it
Everyday, and in your mind
Inescapable.

Then press it upon the skin
Of that three year baby boy,
For that is what this has to do with
You.
All true, gladly show the where
After I am with them
you have a death grip
on dignity

More not needed.
Not now, not ever.

Let the rage course,
The tears, coarse,
Fall free,
When no ones looking.

The panic attack,
The body all a-wrack,
The fury unleashed,
The sobbing secret,
When no ones there.

I know, I know.

Small consolation.
Worse, no one to share,
Worse, the one to share,
Is the one making life unfair.

But all this pales by compare,
When the words out loud you speak,
The lodestar, the key phrase.
                    
I hear them, though by proxy.
I read them, though far by mile,
I am comforted in the knowing,
That anyone who can write those words
Is stronger than most.


You
Have
A death grip
On dignity.

No more needed.
For the one who wrote those words.
I'm a cool cat
Who likes to ****
The smooth jazz
That dances off my pen
Compliments
The 'garette I smoke

The dance of pen to pad
The movement
The shake
Rumble
Makes my fingers snap
And my feet tap.
I feel the comfortable writhing
deep in my ***** again
I'm not sorry

This is your fault
You touched me first

Somewhere in the back of my mind
You're feeling me out

Little Miss,
Telepathic
Trespassers
will be prosecuted.

...I'll put my hands
around your neck
so softly

And choke out
the words caught
in your throat

To the tip of my tongue
     all the right things flow

To the flesh of your lips
     and all in between

resonating your body
     with stories

stranger
than
fiction

little deaths end
where they begin

can
you
feel
friction
feeling
you
up?

Just how you like
To be
shaken
and
stirred

tossed
and
over-turned

This is me unleashing
some twisted fantasy
to my little therapist
enabling me

To self-medicate with star-stuff
To "Show me what you're made of"
To "Baby, bend over and take it."

Show me the fourth wall
Let's break it.
She was lust in the morning
     and art by nightfall

Where she whispered halfway moans
     of words plagiarized off the wall

Some little death
Some ironic typography
     reinventing fate
    
Manifesting her destiny
     In stutters
     she gaits

A soul tripped out of the dream machinery

Now she's standing naked
     In the door way

The threshold
     between mundane and fantasy

Staring down the destiny
     about me

She asks me
     to follow her bliss

Her skin heralds the call
     to my hands around her neck

She wants to be
     bruised
     So Gracefully

Pulling her hair back
     dragged
     in and out of dreams
I'm not here to capitalize on you
     I'm just here to exploit your emotions

I'll be your new anti-depressant  
     Your defense mechanism
     Your Oral fixation

Your morals are safe with me
     I promise

Take this down and try calling in the morning
     You're not numb anymore
     I'm your electric addiction
     Your unorganized prescription

Little Miss OCD Queen supreme 
     I'll give you something to run with
     When you're feeling uninspired

Sweet ambrosia,
Straight from my loaded God complex
      That oxytocin's a helluva drug

Come on,
Invite me in
and
choke
down
my
angelic
soul

Breathe in and out the light,
before darkness falls
let me transmute your pain to medicine.
I know the title's a bit risqué but thats what arts about, its supposed to be ambiguous, but most importantly subjective. Take it however you want. This is one I've been working into a song as well. I just thought I'd share what I had. Again, several references in here to songs and books. They're like Easter eggs find em.
Van Gogh
Cut his ear off and mailed it to a ******* in a box
For you I'd rip my heart out, ship it on a silver plate
And you'd
Reject it, like they've frequently done, every one,
Van Gogh's *****, you, her, all of them, cold souls.
Perhaps
Not, quite possibly I'm wrong, the reason
For rejections isn't cold, concrete souls,
And it's
Our fault, the writer, the painter,
We, the foolish artists, that
Decide
To package organs in
The mail for our loves,
That is,
Now that I think
It through,
Very
Strange.

Also poetic.
Artsy even.
So please,
Send a thank you note in return
At the very least.
And no, not a restraining order.
(And to end with a generic line
About poetry and the bard:
All these poems are my heart.
All of them.
So, here, take this,
I'm bleeding out for you.)
(Wait, what do you mean you only take cash?)
My newest one and I think it came out awesome. Funny, and the lines are counted so it's got some structure. Guys, this one is a masterpiece. Take it. Like it, I know you did. Also, it's the first poem I write since my birthday soooo... Good start to age 18. (2013)
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