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Arija E Nov 2011
Friendship isn’t about being liked
It isn’t about being invited to that party
It isn’t about being picked first in gym class
It isn’t about being popular
Friendship is about having that shoulder to cry on when you’re not invited
When you’re picked last
When you’re sitting alone at lunch
It’s about having that person who lets you be you
Who makes you feel good
                                          loved
            ­                                       proud
Therefore friendship isn’t about just anyone to me
It’s about one
It’s about one girl who makes me feel all these things
Who makes me feel good
                                       loved
                                              proud
It’s about one girl who is always there for me
Who makes me smile every morning
Who makes me want to be better but still makes me happy to be me
It’s about my best friend
But it’s not about how we’re best friends, anyone could be
It’s about the million little things, that no one could be but her
It’s about the way she’s always happy to see me
It’s about the way she laughs with me when everyone else stares
It’s about how when she smiles, she glows and it’s contagious
It’s about the way she just is, and how it makes me
Everything about her, the million little things that make her up
That is what our friendship is to me
That’s what friendship is
It’s love.
Arija E May 2013
I'm not taking credit for this one
It's on you
You did this

You ****** raving lunatic *****
You lost your ******* mind

You lost it and I lost you

I loved you

I love you

But you ruined it

I'm not taking credit for this one
You did this
It's on you

You ****** raving lunatic *****
You broke us
Arija E Nov 2011
This silly ol’ dance
This silly ol’ dance
This silly ol’ dance that’s perfect for two
What does that mean
What does it hide
Its like I’m trying to open up a closed-shut mind
I try and I try
But all I can get
Is this image of you and me I will never forget
I see it now and its never been more clear
An image of you and me and it brings a tear
Not a tear of pain
Nor a tear of joy
More a tear of hope
And it makes me smile inside
To know that you’ll always be there
Like this picture in my mind
To lift me up when I’m down and to humble me when I’m high
For that is what best friends do
And best friends is what we are
And as I think of this image and what it represents
More come to my head and they all begin to mesh
Into the most beautiful picture I have ever seen
It’s a picture of everything to me that you mean
It’s a picture of friendship
It’s a picture of love
It’s a picture of happiness
And all of the above
Are what you mean to me
And what I hope to mean to you
For you are my best friend
And lucky for us that is a dance that is perfect for two
So I’ll step lightly and you twirl around
If piglet and pooh can do it so can me and you
1.1k · Dec 2015
I Didn't Realize I Had Lost
Arija E Dec 2015
I didn't realize I had stopped taking pictures of myself
         Maybe because he already knew what I looked like
         Maybe because I had forgotten
I didn't realize I had stopped listening to music
        Maybe because I had found all the songs about him
        Maybe because I had nothing to sing about
I didn't realize I had stopped imaging my future
        Maybe because it was already set in stone
        Maybe because it was not mine
I didn't realize I had stopped writing poetry
        Maybe because one can only write so many love poems
        Maybe because I no longer liked to think about my feelings
I didn't realize I had stopped journaling
        Maybe because he was there to share and remember with
        Maybe because I wasn't doing anything worth writing down
I didn't realize I had stopped working out
        Maybe because he loved me no matter how I looked
        Maybe because I had lost the motivation
I didn't realize I had stopped reading
        Maybe because I didn't need to escape anymore
        Maybe because I never had a moment to myself
I didn't realize I had stopped sleeping in my own bed
        Maybe because I was sleeping with someone I loved
        Maybe because I couldn't stand sleeping alone

I didn't realize I had lost myself
       Maybe because I was too busy taking care of us
       Maybe because I had stopped.
1.1k · May 2013
Mad
Arija E May 2013
Mad
I gave up on being mad at you a long time ago

I realized it didn't do anything

I opened my eyes to the fact that you didn't care

I only spent the energy to be mad because I thought it would make you want me

I gave up on being mad at you a long time ago

I took up a new hobby

I became mad at myself

I spent so much energy and time on someone that didn't even want me

I gave up being mad at you a long time ago
1.0k · Aug 2013
Utter Confusion
Arija E Aug 2013
I used to know what I was doing
I always knew exactly what I was pursuing

It could be from lack of concentration
But I think it's more from frustration

For there's  no right answer anywhere
No person saying come, Ill take you there

But I suppose that's the beauty in the dance
Its not a matter of knowing but of taking a chance

Its never easy to get something good
No matter how much I think it should

So I will hold on through the unknown
And one day the right answer will be shown
925 · Jan 2013
I'll Be Here
Arija E Jan 2013
when you come down from your cloud, i'll be here
when you realize what you are doing, i'll be here
when you loose yourself and also find you lost me, i'll be here
when you stop running through my mind, i'll be here
when you leave me completely, i'll be here

no matter where you go or what you do i'll be here
but i will not be here for you
Arija E Sep 2013
I've seen a wolf get kicked
He whimpers and then he is silent
But he howls in his silence

My mouth is closed
My chin is down
I have learned my lesson

But listen closely
Really tilt your ear into my chest
And you will hear a howl

A howl of the strongest resolve

I am the wolf that was stupid
I am the wolf that got kicked
I will whimper and be silent

My howl is now for me
849 · Apr 2013
Discus
Arija E Apr 2013
There is a cut on my thumb where you have been
There is a callous on my pointer finger where you have been
There are marks all over the ground where you have been
There are swivels on my shoes where you have been
There are indents in steel poles where you have been

There are all these places in which you have been that you could measure your impact
Measure your presence
But you can't measure two places you have been
You cant measure the place you've had in my heart or the place you've had in the sky
But its the moments that you are in both in which you soar, we soar
It's the moments in both that make the difference, that matter
842 · Jan 2014
The Music
Arija E Jan 2014
laying here drowning
I find a lifeboat
I let my mind be carried
away from worry
away from doubt
all there is are the waves
the rises and falls
I lull towards serenity
I lull towards peace
this is the musics gift
and I am grateful
Arija E Sep 2013
My best friend was there
She said she had never heard me laugh harder
I didn't notice
I was probably too busy laughing
695 · Feb 2012
And We Begin
Arija E Feb 2012
We started slow,
touching softly,
exploring timidly,
waiting for what we knew was to come.

I could feel his heart,
and it echoed into every part of my  body,
it reverberated in my veins,
flowed through my heart,
stopped cold in my stomach.

I start to move,
rotating my body,
kissing his neck and face,
telling him in every way,
I want you.

All he moves is his hand.

He teases,
he plays,
he tortures,
then finally I can't take anymore,
and we begin.
693 · Aug 2013
My Love is Dead
Arija E Aug 2013
I tried to keep it alive
I stood in front of it
Took your blows instead
I didn't let you touch my love
I kept it safe behind me

But when you took out the gun
I knew it was my love or me
And for once I choose right

You killed my love with a bullet
The bullet of a no
And you can't take back a bullet baby
No matter how much life we both try to breath back into it
My love is dead
690 · Nov 2011
High
Arija E Nov 2011
3:11 am and still awake
no sign of sleep in my future
because you have made me immortal

I am above human needs
for you bring me so high
that I could not even see
the world with a telescope
and why would I want to
why would I need to

For you could take away the sun
and I would survive

You could deprive me of food
and I would endure

But take away you
and I am done for

For you have brought me so high
that the fall would **** me
628 · Aug 2013
Bark
Arija E Aug 2013
You want to see a fight
Push me just right
You want to feel hurt
Keep treating me like dirt
Cause bite this ***** will
And my bark will also ****
Even though I may look
Like someone that can be overtook
Don't make that mistake
Or else that will be the stake
That ill stab into in your face
Then go back to running this place
Little boy if only you knew
How long your beating is overdue
Seriously step to me
Step and you'll ******* see
618 · Nov 2011
My Love
Arija E Nov 2011
If my love for you was a lightbulb
it would burn brightly

If my love for you was a rainbow
it would shine immensely

If my love for you was a flower
it would bloom beautifully

But lightbulbs dim
rainbows end
flowers die
and love fades.
585 · Feb 2015
He Just Misspoke
Arija E Feb 2015
He called me his girlfriend
In the midst of casual conversation
I waited for the stutter
Or the correction
At least the clarification that usually follows
But he just went on
He went on to talk about simple things
I forgot all about it
Until we hung up
I instantly tried to rationalize
To say, he just misspoke
It didn't mean anything
He just was talking
But that was a lie
It meant everything
Hope was given with that word
But I know it was a mistake
I am not his girlfriend
He just misspoke
569 · Mar 2013
I Signed
Arija E Mar 2013
Just me, a paper, a pen, and all the meaning in the world
Two of those things are changeable
As for that pen and that paper
That's unchangable
I signed
I signed away everything but nothing
For it was already theirs
566 · May 2014
Time Ran Fast
Arija E May 2014
I'll reason love, waste love, hope love
your face promises mistakes
and when never sounds better
its not worth the fix

Fighting let me go, games let me go, your arms let me go
I tried truly to believe, to catch me falling
but time ran fast and we fell apart
559 · Mar 2013
bye bye baby
Arija E Mar 2013
we didn't make a baby
i didn't have to **** a baby
but we still have a baby
because you are a baby
for you left me to be the adult, baby

while you just went merrily on your way
like children do
and ours never will
because you are a baby
who left me to be the adult, baby

bye bye baby
548 · Apr 2012
I wasnt always this way
Arija E Apr 2012
There is something about who you are
There is something about who it makes me
You’re exactly what I'm not
And therefore what I want to be

And since you are my opposite
I should have been able to guess
That you would not want me
As I do you and couldn't any less

You are calm cool collected
I am frantic desperate and emotional
You are quiet patient and independent
I am obnoxious anxious and irrational

You are the good to my evil
And to me that is no surprise
But then I realize I was good too
Until you came along and opened me up inside

So doesn't that make you evil
Or at least in some way bad
Because you took a beautiful life
And turned that life sad

It was not on purpose
For you could never do anything wrong
It just happened this way
And we both blindly went along

I wish I could deserve you
I wish I could be what you want
But instead I am the pathetic girl
Who went crazy while all you did was taunt

I hate you for not wanting me
And I hate myself for hating you
Its an awful circle that causes me nothing but hurt
But if it makes you happy its what I'll continue to do
541 · Apr 2016
Spit
Arija E Apr 2016
I swallowed my pride and said
               "Go home tonight"
I swallowed my dignity and said
               "I'll pack you some snacks"
I swallowed my anger and said
               "Text me if you need anything"

I should have realized

He had someone who was already telling him to come home
He had someone who would have food waiting
He had someone to text if he needed anything

I wish I spit.
533 · Nov 2012
The Fog
Arija E Nov 2012
The fog is the worst.
A storm is quick.
It comes, it destroys, it leaves.

Fog stays

Fog doesn't destroy.
Fog simply hides the sun.
But there is sun.
Arija E Jul 2013
Our habits help to define us
For some we choose to quit
(I used to overuse the word like)
Others we just forget about
(I used to bite my finger nails)
And the best we just enjoy
(I still crack my joints)

We also define our habits
Label this one bad
(I used to pick my scabs)
Consider this one good
(I still floss my teeth)
Ignore the many mundane ones
(I always say please and thank you)

Life told me you were a bad habit
So I tried to quit you
Then ignore you
Then forget you
But life was wrong
You're the best habit I've ever had
And you were meant to be enjoyed
526 · Nov 2011
Natural Beauty
Arija E Nov 2011
A natural glow
A heavenly gaze
beauty, lust, happiness
goodness, loveliness, gentle

Inside seeps into the out
Outside resembles the in

Nothing forced
Nothing man made
Just created
Just there
Just Perfect
519 · Aug 2013
Relationships
Arija E Aug 2013
Then
You were the snow that I tried to shovel
You were the leaves that I tried to rake
You were the rain that I tried to collect
You were the grass that I tried to cut

But I got so tired of working so hard

Now
You are the snow that I play in
You are the leaves that I run through
You are the rain that I dance in
You are the grass that I lay in

You were not the one that needed to change
502 · Jun 2012
Okay with Goodbye
Arija E Jun 2012
There are certain things that are hard to say goodbye to
There are certain things that you want to hold on to and never let go of
But there are certain things that need to be left behind 

Not every story can be a book
Not every book can be a series
Not even a series can be without an ending

I know the feeling of never wanting something to end 
I think everyone does, at some point

Because that's how we learn,
That's how the young become the old
And the old become the wise,
That's how we grow

It's the moments of pain that make us stronger 
It's the moments of strength that make us remember 
Its the memories that make us who we are

So I don't want to say goodbye but I will
Just like I will to many other things 
Because of this one, those goodbyes will be easier 
And all this makes me okay with goodbye
498 · Jul 2014
Deeper than my Gut
Arija E Jul 2014
Sometimes I get this ache
In the pit of my stomach
But deeper somehow
It pulls me down to it
Like a scrunching up carpet
Folding in what I am
Getting stronger and deeper each pull
It'll reach my throat
I'll feel like I need to *****

You are a part of me
Festered in that pit deeper than my gut
The part of me only you can touch
But it pulls me night and night again
When you are not there
It pulls and I let it consume me
I just let it ****
No amount of your clothes helps
Only you wrapped around me will

That is when I know that I miss you
496 · Nov 2011
Strength
Arija E Nov 2011
I'll hold you together
Even when your heart is being shattered

I'll protect you
Even when it's you against the world

I'll put you first
Even when you deserve to be last

I'll fight for you
Even when you've given up

I'll love you
Even when no one else does

Says the girl
To herself
491 · Oct 2013
Its Your Heart Now
Arija E Oct 2013
I left my heart
In a little corner of your ceiling
Right above your bed

I left my heart
In permanent marker
Right where you could see it

I left my heart
In the safest place I could find
Right where you always return

I left my heart
In absolute happiness
Right with you
486 · May 2013
Things Change.
Arija E May 2013
It has been said before
It will be said again
In many ways
Much more creative than this
By many people
Much more intelligent than me

Things change.
476 · Jan 2012
To Be Yours
Arija E Jan 2012
I have cried a hundred ways a hundred times
I have hurt a thousand ways a thousand times
I have healed a few ways a few times
but all before I met you

You are so different
You are so kind
You are everything I want in this world
and you could maybe be mine

But what if I'm not enough
What if you change your mind
and turn into all the others
that have hurt me all those times

I don't think I could bear it
I don't think I would survive
so don't call me yours
don't make me whole inside

To be yours would take all of me
for it goes against everything I believe
to just blindly trust
and see what comes to be
463 · Nov 2011
Moving On
Arija E Nov 2011
If I was a bird
I would fly away

If I was a fish
I would swim away

If I was strong enough
I would walk away

Maybe it's me
Maybe it's you
Either way it's not worth going through

So now I must get going
To find someone worth knowing
442 · May 2014
Little You's
Arija E May 2014
My laughter
Your jokes
My smile
Your eyes
My fight
Your reason
My freedom
Your soul

The most perfect sound in the world
Would be the sound of little feet
Made by little yous with tiny bits of me
Miraculously running throughout my life
441 · Oct 2017
Hello. It's been awhile.
Arija E Oct 2017
Awhile since I've written
Awhile since I've thought
So much has happened
So much has not

I've gotten married
I've met the one
All my problems are solved
All my tears are done

But here I am laying
Just like I used to before
Thinking about life
Wanting just a little more

Even when it is perfect
I must still ponder
The state of me
Me and all my wonder

No matter what we share
I am still just me
Writing poetry in the night
Just like it used to be

That's the more I want
That is the more I miss
Just some time with me
Less time with Mrs.

So it has been awhile
But I am still here
Laying next to him
But making myself clear
412 · Jun 2013
The Sky
Arija E Jun 2013
One day at the beach I looked up
I looked up and saw the sky
The sky was so beautiful
Beautiful enough to make me look down
Down at the people around me
Around me and around my life
My life which had lead me to the beach
The beach where I looked up
Looked up and saw the sky
401 · Apr 2012
Power Over Me
Arija E Apr 2012
"Hold me closer"
Is all that races through my mind
Besides the occasional
"No don't stop"

If thats not power I don't know what is
401 · Apr 2012
I don't feel like Loving
Arija E Apr 2012
Your fingers used to be just fingers, now they're my fingers
Your hands used to be just hands, now they're my hands
Your lips are still just lips, but now me and them have history
Your body is still just a body, but now I've lost track of the times I've held it close

I can reach out whenever and find you
I can tilt my head down to my skin and still smell you
I can close my eyes and start to feel you
I can let my mind wonder and be with you

You don't make me feel like loving
You make me feel like fighting

Fighting to be with you,
Fighting to keep you,
Fighting whoever tries to hurt you,
Fighting myself to not do anything stupid to loose you

But I already lost one fight
I lost the fight to not feel this way
I lost the fight with my wall to stay up
I lost the fight to not love you

So whose to say I will not lose another
383 · Jul 2014
The Mountain
Arija E Jul 2014
There might be those that try to climb it
Take hold of it's sides and say they've grasped it
Sit on it's peak and believe they've conquered it

But they really never can

All anyone can really claim is that they stood at its base and took it in

That they just knew of it's everlasting and immense presence and lived in its wake
Accepted it as it stands

So concrete
So massive
So impossibly surmountable



The mountain of my love
365 · Feb 2013
Remember Love?
Arija E Feb 2013
Do you remember love?
Do you remember the awe?
Do you remember the feeling?
Do you remember the power?
Do you remember how it felt?
Do you remember who we were?
Do you remember it all?
Do you remember it at all?

Do you remember, love?

I don't remember love.

I don't remember, love.
348 · Aug 2013
Love is Tangible
Arija E Aug 2013
I could feel it was different
There was something on the tip of his tongue when I kissed it
Every time he pulled away it wasn't to stop like before
it was to begin something I could tell
but he was hesitant
So he tried to say what couldn't with everything else
it was like his hands were trying to push it into me
or caress it out
it was like his kisses stopped half way through
and his eyes would pick up with the question, do you understand?
Love is tangible and I could feel it coming
I could feel what I'd been waiting for all these years
But all I felt when he finally pulled back, took my face in his hands
and nestled into my ear the most perfect, "I love you"
was the years of its absence
All I felt were the times my loving hands were pushed back and told no, I'm tired
All I felt were the kisses I gave even though I could feel his eyes still on the TV behind me
Love is tangible and so is its absence
348 · Aug 2013
But She Loved It
Arija E Aug 2013
Let me tell you a story,
A story about a woman.
A woman who loved her job,
Her job which paid her very little.

But she loved it.

A day came though and she got fired,
She tried to stay afloat but ended up on the streets.
She begged and begged for her job back,
And got the door shut in her face.

But she picked herself up.

She started to look for new jobs,
And let the other one go.
For that door had shut in her face,
And at first it hurt like crap.

But she moved on.

Then she got offered the job back,
The job she thought she would never have again.
The job also now was going to pay her better,
So she took it.

But she had moved on.
But she had picked herself up.
But she loved it.
338 · Dec 2012
I've Never Thought Maybe
Arija E Dec 2012
I've never thought maybe
I've always known no 
I've never considered 
I've always known it wasn't 
But what if this is 
I'm thinking maybe 
Which is a lot different than no
I've never thought maybe
I've always known no 

I've never thought maybe
I've always known someday yes
I've never felt it might be close
I've always just looked forward to it
But that day hasn't come
It's still maybe 
Which is a lot different than yes
I've never thought maybe 
I've always known someday yes
328 · Dec 2012
Love my Bad
Arija E Dec 2012
I don't want to be perfect to someone
I want to be loved for my faults
I want someone to accept the bad because I'm worth it
Because they want me just that much
Not perfection, me

— The End —