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shut the **** up and stop pretending that anyone cares,
but of course i already knew that already. it’s what you say
when you tease me and yell at me and when you throw a box
of tissues across the room. ********
, because i’m as full of it
with my niceties as you are strutting in your oil-stained boots
and old-lady fur coat. you care as much as i do, and yet you laugh
at me for hating times new roman, and yes, i hate it as much as i hate
not thinking for myself. i’d rather have a blank page of unheard thoughts
but you, you don’t even know. i write what i like until the page overflows
while your unbrushed teeth fill with unfiltered words until the dam breaks
and it’s **** you and your *******! so i sit helplessly on the corner of your bed,
listening to you cry before reading your poetry. i awkwardly caress your arm
and squeeze your bitten fingernails. i sit in the silence that i wish would fill
with expectation, but it only fills me with the rawness of what you and i
have become, stripped to some naked vulnerability until everything
you never say leaves me grasping for more.
I asked for it,
I really did.
I pushed you away because I could.
She was never toxic ,she never bit.
She never doubted me, and for that I feel like ****.
I can't take back what I said or my actions that took place, I can't take back words and just erase.
The damage I have done.
Her eye's I imagine to be red and with tears,
She has no limit, no anger, no fears.
She's not held back by me anymore.
And for this I am forever in sorrow.
Don't sympathize me.
I am cruel, I am unfaithful and for that I am a fool.
Don't sympathize me.
Pretty drunk right now.
And sad.
What of it?

— The End —