I admire you from afar
Watched you glimmer in you charade
But behind the lights, you are bizarre,
Wishing you were not made.

Every second ticks like a minute,
Every minute moves like an hour,
Every hour seems like a day,
Every day feels like forever.
Every day is filled with regret,
With moments I wish I could forget.

I'll leave next month.
Only get noticed whenever I bid my goodbye's.
When I told you I'll leave,
That's when you all started to care.

Said "Don't leave."
But in the back of your mind,
Are smiles from ear to ear.

They all want me gone.

And that's what I did.

6:51 p.m.
I read the text you sent me.
It was hard, it was goodbye.
I never thought it would end
this way.

I've been selfish and careless
Broken and mourning.
But I hope you'd undertand why
And stay by my side.

I thought you cared,
But you didn't.
It was all a lie.
It was all for goodbye.

Telling you to eat
When I myself don't want to
I'm such a hypocrite
Distorted and overweight
Mirror, I don't like what I see
Help me continue this journey
Journey towards beauty
Ice cold water is my best friend
To feel numb and fine
To feel how I want to be
Workout when nobody's looking
Count from one to one hundred
I do not have an appetite
Lessen my food until it's no more
Force myself no to eat
When I know it's killing me
To be my perception of beautiful

Walk away and hide
Expecting they'll miss you
But they sure don't
Maybe a few days
They'll miss you
But soon enough
They'll forget you

All the things you've done
Things you've shared
All the joy and pain you've caused
They'll just forget about it

You're just another creature
Who walked in their lives and left
With no great impact
And maybe that's the reason
Behind all these great memories
Means nothing to them
But means everything to you

It's time for you to move on
Forget about it
Make a new life
Live life the way life needs to be lived
But in reality, you just can't
Can't move on
Because you're holding on to tight
And been living on the past
And afraid to start again.

Welcome my friend with warm hugs and kisses.
Over the summer, we talk endlessly.
Until the day I had to move,
Telling you that was a tragedy.
I could feel that we were parting ways.
You go with your friends
And I go with my friends.
You know I miss you
But we both know that it will never be the same.
And I hope you know that our whole friendship was a real treasure for me.
A treasure that can no longer be found.
My best friend, I miss you.

All these small conversation
Lead me to this realization
I have fallen for you
Is it really you?
Or is it just your words?

Faking everything from the start
Are you done tearing my heart?

Frail, innocent and young
Songs that you have sung
Make my heart skip a beat
Anxious with cold feet

You beautiful yet oblivious creature
Your outside and words only feature
The lie but not the truth
Your words that soothe
But break my heart after

Justify your being
Your presence
Here you are
Made for a reason

Believe me not
Believe me now

Important you are
Living for someone
Dying for everone
Worth it you are

Push your evil thoughts
Let them not bring you down

Worth it you are

Been a year since the blade touched her skin
Those white lines that remind her
How strong she has been.

She's been strong for a long time,
Why would she give up now?
She thought she can take it
But she spoke too soon
She couldn't.

Giving up
It was easy for her
But little did she knew
That everyone cared for her
She just can't see it.

When you're feeling down
I hope you're safe and sound.
Through your fears and tears
I'll be here for you dear

Missing you
Is like waiting for the rain in the drought
Do you not miss me?
There is no doubt

Mixed feelings of loss and grief
Even the time we had was brief
I still cherish every moment we had
And now everything  in me is sad