An amalgamated smell of iron and metal diffuses in the air,
As blood drips from each cut, a smile erupts the face,
Somewhat satisfied with the pain,
The hand swiftly presses the blade to the skin,
And once more marks another hurtful memory.

Like two torn apart and broken bodies
They meet with a ******
Heaving for breath and sharing warmth-
Closing the distance between them
All despair relinquishes;
Sculpting a magentism so strong
Of a perpetual romance, unutterable.

I tried to encase the demons within me
But they escaped and fed on me
Slowly and consequently controlled me and my actions
Oh God i shunned and acted astray
I did the unutterable and made quite a few mistakes
But it was not me
It was because of society that led me to commit such acts and awoke my demons
I was trapped amongst perfectionists and flamboyant people
I was so carried away by what others did, had i known earlier of the consequences, i would never have erred
Expectations and manipulation provoked me
I became so weak that i forgot what it means to be free
I tried to encase the demons within me
But they escaped and fed on me.

Groggy,
awoken by a harsh tone
unsympathetic to the delicate state
in which my mind remains
half clutching, memorizing the calm

A fragile existence
built to long upon lust and desires
buried so far below natural thought
unnaturally woven into undetermined
projections

The eyes and smile and picture of you
so familliar then
The electricity pulsating through
touch
the lyrics sung on the tip of my tongue
caressed carefully by consciousness
hidden by greed of selfishness
that you are mine
I am yours

But artificial yellows dank and austere
swell before me
which pale in comparison to
golden hues of fog employed
to haunt and taunt the waking memory  
fragmenting a joyful slumber
into only a few definable visions where you remain

Convinced by the hurtful lies and beliefs of tomorrow
i probe deeper into my thoughts
and find myself fixated at this one incident that haunts me forever
since i was a child i was told that things get better
that times heals your pain
but now i know, it was all just lies
the promises made by people
the reassurance of my companions that they would stay by my side
everything is so clear now, i lost it all
all those poems and quotes that i once never understood
all the lyrics and the untold stories that i grasped from people who were depressed
they all seem now to have clouded my mind
these things were all going to happen
yet, i was ambiguous of the fact that they'd occur
reality is what hit me hard
all my expectations went down the drain leaving nothing, but me frail!

A gushing trail of tears drip down my face
from my sore cheeks to my nape
a pool of sorrows builds up within my poignant heart
i am what i feared to become
a self-claimed loner!
a suffice amount of people surround me
who show me their compassion and spark me their love
but i don't get why that it doesn't excite me
i once was juvenile and strong
now because of repeated deceit and abdication
i have become frail
sometimes the world seems not to accept me or my flaws
vindictive people encircle me
some apparent, some obscure
what is it that entices me?
how can i repair my wounds
and erase the paradoxical or frightful thoughts about tomorrow?
i am either stuck in my past or my future
how do people move on?
i live to see the day where i see at least one individual who is free from pain
i have yet to come across one, who hasn't shed a tear
who isn't aloof from the madness of this world
and hasn't seen the darkness within themselves erupt
i wish to see one
because i hear my mother say that no one can change how your mind thinks  
despite their help, they too are as wounded and troubled as us
i rethink this question, knowing that it is true
i deny these statements
but sadly in reality it is true.