this smile
goes to my father
hes not here
theirs not a number of miles that can
trace the difference between us
nevertheless
today I laugh
grin
enjoy the time i have
and better yet
its all because of him

she used to look up to him
he was older
his words never failed to make her smile
now the tears stream down her face
and hes gone
dead
he sold his soul
his smile
for the poison
all just to taint his veins
and
why she asks
does it hurt
does she want
for him
to be with her again
even if hes not the same

ive lost my spark
my vision
my energy
and most importantly
i lost my voice

and when
he, she, they
walk over me
crush me
I can't
I won't
do anything to stop it

if i take a break
sit on the sidelines
the waves will wash ashore
the sandcastle will come to ruins
and i don't think i can watch everything I made
everything I became
falter
the sun beating down
the sand in between my toes
suffocates
but not as much as the thought of failure
so today I'll ride the waves

hope
itching, tearing through your skin
your eyes twinkle
reflect
lead the way
somewhere along
your legs
or was it your mind
stop
detest
I almost crash into you
send you spiraling below
and if
i could never move on
cuz even without your sparkling orbs
all the light in the world would be broken
same,
as my gentle, confused, heart
but your beside me
and i reach
gentle touch
together the way can be found
one day the sparkle will be alive again
and I'll no ive been right all along
you're strong

how many more words
more pages
capital bold letters
lives
hearts
are we going to ruin
tear apart
till we realize
from the beginning we were
in this
for
ourselves

i want to extract these burning thoughts
and plant them in the soil
maybe then they'll make sense
they'll spread, savage the poison ivy tainting the
bare earth

and when you decide to come home
maybe you'll see the clarity
maybe you'll feel the blackness that wrecked my soul
slithering in the air
and you'll look in my eyes
and finally
embrace *me