ive lost my spark
my vision
my energy
and most importantly
i lost my voice

and when
he, she, they
walk over me
crush me
I can't
I won't
do anything to stop it

if i take a break
sit on the sidelines
the waves will wash ashore
the sandcastle will come to ruins
and i don't think i can watch everything I made
everything I became
falter
the sun beating down
the sand in between my toes
suffocates
but not as much as the thought of failure
so today I'll ride the waves

hope
itching, tearing through your skin
your eyes twinkle
reflect
lead the way
somewhere along
your legs
or was it your mind
stop
detest
I almost crash into you
send you spiraling below
and if
i could never move on
cuz even without your sparkling orbs
all the light in the world would be broken
same,
as my gentle, confused, heart
but your beside me
and i reach
gentle touch
together the way can be found
one day the sparkle will be alive again
and I'll no ive been right all along
you're strong

how many more words
more pages
capital bold letters
lives
hearts
are we going to ruin
tear apart
till we realize
from the beginning we were
in this
for
ourselves

i want to extract these burning thoughts
and plant them in the soil
maybe then they'll make sense
they'll spread, savage the poison ivy tainting the
bare earth

and when you decide to come home
maybe you'll see the clarity
maybe you'll feel the blackness that wrecked my soul
slithering in the air
and you'll look in my eyes
and finally
embrace *me

why do they compare the beautiful, like flowers in world full of weeds
flowers aren't endless
they grow and they die

mother used to call me a flower
her slurred mumbles
with her quivering hands and all
she didn't really see
the beautiful exists beneath
and never would she understand the soul will always seek the ends of the earth

so why call the beautiful, flowers
call them four leaf clovers
helping those in need of luck
a gentle hand they are
they will always be remembered
for their beautiful souls
were always a helping hand

it wasn't there beauty
or there extraordinaire
it was there four sides
quick to guide

that's the beauty, the underneath

Please don't be afraid to tell me
capture my foggy gaze
but don't worry about the haze in front of my eyes
they put it there
think of it as a blanket
covering the warmth inside

but wait
don't think of me worth
for every time they ignored my calls
I cried
let them sink into my pores
ravage everything inside
I lost

please don't be afraid to tell me what you see
I know your words are gentle, and free
I wish if only mine could
impair the cell bars
restraining everything I wish
tear the silence
and let me
for once be
happy
but I know just no

please don't be afraid to approach me
shake my shoulders or
brush past
because you rise above us all
conquer everything
I know I would never last

please don't be afraid
I'm worth a speckle of sand
in an endless earth miles long, miles high
I'm nothing
don't you understand