The warmth that filled me
is
gone.
My companion
My strength
My heart
I hear the voice over and over
"Oh, she's already gone."
And my heart
Breaks and branches
Over
And over
And over.
And I know...
I know she's gone.
But what I wouldn't give
To have her back.

The heart chills, my mind stills.
What am I doing?
My existence, devolved to nothing.
My strength seems like something of the past.
I think of death.
Sweet death, cold
Like ice cream.
The more I taste, the colder I feel.
The more my mind hurts.
Yet I cannot stop myself.
This taste that lingers on my tongue
is perhaps
the only thing keeping me sane.
My eyes are frozen.
I keep them covered to keep them warm.
Warm
Unlike the ice cold chill I always feel
The only antidote for this cold
Is the warmth of a blanket.
They say that people can provide warmth too
but...
to leave my only point of sanity and comfort?
It seems too much for me.
My frozen body cannot thaw.
I no longer create my own warmth.
I need others.
A stronger person
who can protect me from the Cold.
From this moment,
I was never my own.

My pain belongs to me.
My discomfort belongs to me.
My chill belongs to me.
I would never burden someone
with my troubles.

I hurt because I don't want to be hurt.
I am protected because I don't want to be safe.
I am cold because I don't want to be cold.

I am dead because I didn't want to die.

I wish I could trust people.
I really, truly do.
The nicest people have
the nicest voices
the nicest souls.
They comfort me.
I wish I could trust them.
Let my guard down for once.
I shouldn't even have a guard.
I'd like to say my life is nice.
A nice life, with no reason
to keep myself guarded.
If I can't feel safe,
is it still nice?
If my guard won't come down...
Why?
Why can't I trust someone?
Why do I keep my guard up?
Why?
Is there a reason my guard doesn't fall?
They say behind the nicest smiles
are the cruelest intentions.

I'm only one person.
What can I do?
My mind splits in two.
Right and Wrong are not the pieces.
And excitement lingers
only in my memory.
I have forgotten
How people speak.
I have hidden
for too long.
My eyes burn
because I cannot sleep.
My head hurts
because I cannot think.
My body hurts
yet I know not why.
Movement startles me.
Sound startles me.
Pain cripples me.
I feel no motive.
Why am I here?
Why am I?
Am I?
I
don't
know
the
answer
to
my
own
questions

When they come here
It's never for me.
I find myself lingering,
Hesitating,
And wondering why
But knowing it at the same time.
You have to open your heart
To invite people in
And for reasons even I cannot fathom,
My heart cannot be opened.
I must resign myself
To forever being
An outsider.

The Evil in our Hearts
feeds on our Dream.
Forgotten Lyrics to a Song You never sang
The Plot to a Story barely conceived
The Musings of great Minds barely noted
The Insignificance rang.
Nothing perceived.
How convoluted.
The Color forgotten
The Answers hidden
Pathways invisible
You say You tried.
Wrong.
You gave up before You started.

This Evil in our Hearts
is Fear.

Fear of
the Unknown
What comes next
being Insignificant
Forgetting
being Forgotten
Never being Known
Emerging from the Shadows

with a Dream to change
Music
Art
Science
Passion is the Key
The Key to overcome our Evil
is not Fearlessness.
The Key is Courage.
Courage to overcome this Pain
Surely This is true.

My Evil keeps Me hidden.
The Shadows are my Refuge.
Step into the Light.
Inspiration floods the dulled Heart.
And then You know
Your Dream Was Real.

A ghost drifted into town
No one knew her name
Her parents moved straight through her
Her peers talked around her
If anyone noticed the ghost
They became a ghost too
The ghost tried speaking
But to no avail
The other ones around her
Gave her no peace.
The bright light in her mind
Could not reach around the corners

I do not know where this ghost is now
but I know how she feels.

Why have the days gone?
The sunny days have gone
leaving only clouded days.
At night
I see no stars.
By day
The blue sky's grey.
The warm scent of the plants blooming
has been replaced by
the cold scent of death.
My heart
feels hollow.
My breath
is shallow.
My eyes are red.
Add a pain
in my head.
These thoughts
hurt.
My sunshine is hidden.
The moonlight doesn't shine.
These glorious, happy days of mine
are
gone.
How long has it been?
An eternity?
Bearing with this heaviness
Where do I go?
What do I do?
Can I change?
Must I change?
Will change become me?
I have forgotten
the warmth of the sun
the special mystery of the moon.
The stars don't speak to me
and I don't to them.
My childhood
warmed by ignorance
is
gone.

Loss
The normal life that's passed.
The life that was lost.
The talent given and taken.
The innocence of a simple life.

What would have been.
What could have been.
What should have.
What never should have.

The blinded artist.
The muted singer.
The deafened tuner.
The wounded athlete.

The child who survived
when everyone else did not.

The woman who lost her beloved in life.
The man who lost his beloved in death.  

The people who must endure
through endless pain
endless torment.

Those who suffer for the sake of others.

Those who must allow others to suffer for them.

The kind people.
The poor people.
The broken people.

The parent waiting for their child to wake up.

The child waiting for their parents to come home.

The celebrity despised by everyone
who never did anything
you or I wouldn't have done.

The genius who lost their intellect.

The hero who lost their sanity.

The witness kept awake at night
wishing they'd never gone out.

I'm fiNE.
nEver felt better.
have you Decided
on AnytHing in yoUr future?
if you haven't
Give up.

She called for us
We ignored her
She called again
Still we paid no mind
She stopped calling
Did we care?
She slit her throat
We did not stop
Her heart did.
Only then did we look up
and realize we were wrong.

Our present is important
Hers was too
If we paid some attention
Her blood is on our hands
We paid no attention
When we had the chance.

Now our future is built on one more ****** corpse.
Complain if we must

We put it there.