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Sep 2017 · 134
changing tires
Apple on a Rose Sep 2017
"its like taking your car to the mechanic with a flat tire and it completely breaking down."
Well maybe that's the problem, you only ever saw her as a flat tire.  You choose to be completely unaware of all the damage under the hood.  Just waiting there, deteriorating.  While everyone hopes its the maintenance to the tire that with fix everything.
To only act surprised when it doesn't.  passing the blame to anyone in reach.
You will never look in the rear-view mirror of all that was done.
Jul 2017 · 130
Love of Poetry
Apple on a Rose Jul 2017
The thing
is
about poetry.
the raw realisation
of the words
you just read.
carrying
the ability
to identify feelings,
thoughts,
emotions.
you are yet
to comprehend.
yet realise
you have
lived.
Jul 2017 · 130
SEA.
Apple on a Rose Jul 2017
crash over me. like dirt or water. Either way fill my lungs to a point of no return. watch me gasp. Look straight in my eye. Then turn and walk away.
maybe then you'll see what your doing to me.
Jul 2017 · 131
Not Yet
Apple on a Rose Jul 2017
I've said I forgive time and time again.
but we're stuck in this cycle that needs to come to an end.
You've just hurt me to many times before.
Physical and mental scares
needing to be closed behind a door.
You want me to forget,
but I cant just yet.
No, not just yet.
Not Yet.
You leave me crying on the floor,
like you have before.
Too many times before.
But you ask me to forgive.
and hope I can forget.
I can't just yet.
no. Not just yet.
Not Yet.
Jul 2017 · 899
Fairy-tales
Apple on a Rose Jul 2017
Am I self-sabotaging
is that what this is?
when my minds telling me he's good for me
but my heart wants to resist.
Am I truly in this
Like actually wanting to see where it goes?
He'll tell everyone he is
Even willing to propose.
But what if the feeling isn't mutual,
Just a sick game, manipulated insides?
All of the doubts, thoughts and confusion are drowning
Yet there's nowhere to hide.
I'm expected more of,
And people awe at all we have
Yet how much of it is real
How much of it is fact.
Is it a fact I love you?
Or a fact I thought I did?
Is it real we're meant to be?
Or did we just take our largest bid?
Is there something here?
That's not make belief?
Or is it all a matter of our imagination
A story line we confuse for life?
Or is this actual fact, feeling and love.
That I am just unable to reciprocate.
Despite believing I should.
Is this the fairy-tale people hope for
The fairy-tale I misunderstood.
Jul 2017 · 224
Commitment
Apple on a Rose Jul 2017
It was interesting to hear
You share your belief
Of how if you were to hurt me
I'd be ruined.
Unable to recommit.
When I look at all the hurt
I have put you through
Secretly knowing
I may never be able to truly commit
Instead
I smile.
And nod my head
Agreeing that of course
I love you
We feel the same way.
But deep down
There's emotions and thoughts
Even I am to scared to admit.
Am I one to commit?
Jun 2017 · 167
moving view
Apple on a Rose Jun 2017
The way she moved,
Seemed unnatural to most.
She moved with something unlike the rest.
Maybe it was the breeze that carried her,
Or her body moved towards the light
Perhaps the moon possessed her .
Or  was she the creation of all three.
And maybe this was why
Many seemed so confused.
They could only handle one element at a time.
They could not identify her view.
Jun 2017 · 142
You.
Apple on a Rose Jun 2017
I don't believe in second chances.
...
But give me a third.
Jun 2017 · 176
Same Old.
Apple on a Rose Jun 2017
They don't realise when I say 'same old',
Nothings changed.
I'm still as torn and shredded,
As an unwanted page.
And I feel each rip,
As I watch each tear.
Yet I bite my lip
Knowing a soul is yet to care.
Jun 2017 · 220
Girl
Apple on a Rose Jun 2017
And then she did it.
As expected she would.
Blew away like dust
All that could.
She warned him.
Told him to stay away.
The girl that smiles and acts all together
Is gone for another day.
Jun 2017 · 422
SUPERHEROS AND VILLAINS
Apple on a Rose Jun 2017
When the superhero's the villain,
Coming to be saved.
When you fall flat on your ***.
Expected to be broken for days.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Of all they expected to be.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Been falling since before age three.
When the superhero turns villain
But did he really turn?
Did he ever allow that side to show.
Is it something he's yet to learn.
But when the 'teacher' gives up.
As the past three had done.
For the sake of her own sanity.
And hope of her own heart.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
But from where which was so mighty?
That pedestal you built yourself?
Or that crown that was forever wonky.
When the superhero's the villain.
And 'poor Jane' is left to learn
How to be her own God dam fucken' hero.
Her own who will never burn.
Jan 2017 · 248
A Mother
Apple on a Rose Jan 2017
A Mother
a mother will hold you and carry you through,
she'll push you out, to pull you in,
to only ever be true.
a mother will love unconditionally as mine does,
to raise you and fight for you,
simply because.
she is a strong character who's love cannot be broke,
she will fight to her death bed and further she will.
but a mothers love is so strong who are we to say,
i know my mother will be there every single day.
i watched her cry, i watched her laugh,
with barely a thought at all.
but it is now mostly missed,
and now i go to call.
a mother is a powerful being,
one who will watch you stand tall.
yet sweep in when you cry,
without as much as a 'thankyou' at all.
it is a mother who watches over you,
and runs by your side.
dreading the day when a child grows up,
to then say 'goodbye'.
a possible new mother will become,
before her mothers eyes.
as the generations tick,
and the history of our lives...
Jan 2017 · 299
The Call Show
Apple on a Rose Jan 2017
I told him I was stupid,
yet continued with my words.
As the tears fell, I knew,
I would never truly be heard.
I could see his 'smart' smirk,
as he tossed those peanuts down his trap.
That clock ticked over in his head,
as the game was prepared to call out.
But it was the match that was struck,
when the audience hid.
As with no audience,
The performers are left all to real..
Beneath their masks,
something they could never unveil.
Dec 2016 · 224
Untitled
Apple on a Rose Dec 2016
A love so strong.
A pain so deep.
Always together
Yet laughs while I weep
Something draws me back
Is it foolishness or is it love?
My heart is under attack
At the impact of your glove.
A love so deep.
A pain so strong.
This isn't 'normal'
Can you tell something is wrong?
The way we're loyal
Yet first to betray
In the ways that truly matters
I need to walk away.
But how can I, When you're in my blood?
Until I die,
Forever carrying my love.
The memories of the old,
Keep us going through.
But then its experienced,
The circumstances of new.
Is it foolishness, or is it love?
Somethings gotta change
I can see it now,
This haunted early grave.
So desperate to stop it,
To scared to accept
Maybe time I left it.
This secret I've kept.
Dec 2016 · 289
Puppy Love
Apple on a Rose Dec 2016
His eyes were that of a lost puppy,
His heart, one that had been broken.
His loudness and laughter meant more tears, than he could ever of spoken.
He wanted her to fix him,
As he'd hoped the last would of done.
But it was not her duty or ability,
To shine light on all that he could become.
There was void missing in his heart,
A hole left by betrayal.
A mothers love of no condition,
Is the missing link that's caused his heart so frail.
He wanted to feel wanted.
Needed to be told,
Of the worth and goodness inside himself,
That he's tried so hard to withhold.
Though she could see through him,
As he had hoped she would.
It's what made her 'intriguing',
And what captivated his mind of all that could.
He felt lost, like that puppy.
The kind that had been beat.
The kind that checked twice before crossing a road,
And knew better than to ever take a seat.
Though through the glass of his eye,
He tried with his might to reflect gold.
All that he felt expected to be,
The type that could never be told.
For when you look straight at glass,
You see the reflection it presents.
It is not until you look through his eye,
That his soul projects.
And then there's no one left to fool.
It was this connection that he had wanted,
And found within her view.
But she insisted he take a look,
In hope one day it will seep through.

— The End —