I drown out my mind with music.
Let it say the words I don’t want to think.

Its this time of night that the temptation creeps in.
The curiosity of what a message would envoke.
What truths could be set free,
Or more realistically; what lies would continue.
Regaining composure, to remember
I wont grant you the power to disapoint me again.

I think I need you to care
So I can stay true to the persona that I don't.

I need to stop giving you the power to dethrone me.

I don’t even want you.
I just wanted to reject you.

You’ll never know what you did to me
Now I know that line is clichè
But it’s true.
Never will I allow it to leave my lips for your ears.
I will continue the toughness and laugh at your attempts to make me jealous. Knowing full well should I choose to enter that game, the victory would be mine.
This is all you’ll see.
An Ice queen capable of cutting you off, never to bat an eye lid your way ever again.
Prehaps even left you wondering why or what you had done wrong.
Guessing if I found out, or how much I knew to be true.
This is what you’ll get from me.

What you won’t see is all the typed and deleted messages.
The screams into the pillow and my fists attempt to release some level of fury that fills my veins.
You’ll never know how many tears fell or how many boys were turned away.

You will become a mess not knowing what a mess you made of her.

I hate that I gave you the power to hurt me.
And I never will again.