Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Sep 2017 medha
Tom Leveille
i don't watch home movies
hate them
reason being because
when i was young
i was looking for a movie
my mother
had recorded for me
and accidentally
put one in the vcr
that i'm not sure
i was supposed to see
i know the obvious response
"uh oh, ****"
sorry to disappoint
they were only marked with dates
  1991
on live television
montel williams asks my father
"how can you just throw
your child away like a piece of trash?"

   1994
i spend so much time
in the emergency room
that my parents stop
penciling in growth marks
on the frame
of my bedroom door
i always thought
it was because they believed
i would never grow out
of this sickness
sometimes i believe
the reason that they
never bought me a dream catcher
was because they never thought
i'd live long enough
to see them come true
   1996
i am eliminated
from a spelling bee
because i didn't know
the 'dad' is silent in 'family'
   2013
before i got into poetry
i used to do standup
none of my jokes were funny
one of the other comics
tells me my skits are dry
sometimes sad
he says "why don't you joke
about something like your family?"

so i say
"i never wore any sunblock
because i didn't want anything
to keep me from my father"

i say "what do you call christmas
without lights or heat?"

before he has a chance
to answer
i say "1997. better yet
why don't you
make like a dad and
leave"

   2014
every time we drive
past the hospital
my mother reminds me
how much it cost to save my life
like she'd rather
have her money back
she doesn't have to say
that sometimes she wishes
it was me who had died
instead of my brother
i can hear it in the way
she says "love you"
sometimes i imagine
that if i were to die
that she
would pick out a casket for a child
because she never loved
the person i became
yesterday i told my father
how close i'd been
to suicide lately
and he said
"that's my boy,
livin on the edge.."

and i can't remember
if i laughed
or cried
 Jul 2017 medha
Aditi
Go on.
 Jul 2017 medha
Aditi
I smiled, I bled,
I carried on and on for you
I crawled, I fell
I got up, bruised and blue, for you
Even though I don't know how,
Now,
But I stayed for you.

You stayed, you ran
You carried on and on for you
You cheated, you lied
There was always something else and someone else you'd rather do
Even though i don't know why,
Now
But you did it for you.

You confessed, you sinned,
So many versions of truth,
I did not know what to believe in,
But I believed in you.
I raged on, I waned,
So many goodbyes
I could not fulfil,
But you showed me how to
And you did it for you.

So, just go.
With your hurried goodbyes
And hesitated hellos.

So, just go.
My love will continue
to Bloom.

The sadness that became a part of our love,
Take it with you too.

And just go.

I will smile, I will bleed
I will carry on and on
For myself.

I will love, carve poems out of
another person's name.
Even though I don't know how,
Now.

So, I will just go now,
go
On and on.
 Jul 2017 medha
caroline
i got this
 Jul 2017 medha
caroline
i'm thankful for you
not because you gave me the best memories
or the most memorable moments of my life
but because
you showed me that even being beaten
down and left in millions of pieces
i still have the power to move on with my life
 Jul 2017 medha
bb
People don't love the way they used to. My mom taught me that. You taught me everything else. We, in a state of mock individuality, look for the good part of ourselves in others so we have a good reason to love them better than we hate ourselves, because we are too afraid to admit that we aren't terrible things. So I keep checking my yard to see if you had been asleep when you crashed into my lawn (but that is never the case). And it's not even because I'm looking for the good parts of myself in you, it's because I'm just looking for someone who doesn't care that there is no good part of myself to look for. No matter where I sit, my feet always dangle off the ground. And that's what life is like : an infinite state of dangling; a throne of questions, and we never quite touch the ground.
Summer doesn't feel like freedom when you've spent the whole winter in love. Buried beneath the crushing weight of my own frozen apologies and punching my feelings into deaf ears like the clock on a workday, I keep twirling in circles, trying to check the serial number on the back of my neck in vain. I am falling, but not into you and so it is more of a fast crash in slow motion that nobody can feel but me. I'm tired of spinning. I'm tired of digging for reasons like a stick in the ground. I know I'm not a dog, but I never learn. Oh my God, I never learn. And neither do you.
 Jul 2017 medha
Madisen Kuhn
write from your heart: scribble down words
when you’re crying at 2am, or right after
you’ve gotten home from spending time with
someone you love, whenever your emotions
are at their peak. writing is bet when it’s
pure and raw and genuine. don’t filter when you
write, just let your soul flow out on the page.
written on 9/29/13
 Jul 2017 medha
Madisen Kuhn
I know it hurts like heavy nothingness, and it feels like everything was pointless. Like it was all wasted time and effort and feelings, avoidable heartache, disposable passion. I know it hurts, and you’re hoping it’s all a lie, that you’ll close your eyes and everything will go back to the way it used to be. But even though it feels impossible now, you will learn to let go. It may take awhile, and it may always sting, but one thing that’s certain is that you will be okay. You’ll learn to breathe again without wincing, you won’t flinch at the sound of her name. First it’ll be a day, then two, then weeks and months and you’ll forget all about the pain. You’ll smile and laugh and it won’t be fleeting or fake, it’ll be real. You are going to be happy again. I know it hurts. I know. It’s okay that it hurts, you’re human. But I promise you, it won’t hurt forever.
written on 9/26/13
 Jul 2017 medha
Madisen Kuhn
i fear that you are
drowning in your own depth
and i hope that you have
learned to hold your breath
for extended periods of time
and that you know when
to come up for an interlude
of fresh air every once in awhile

your heart is so
special
please take care
of it

because i would hate
to hear that you’ve broken
two more
one, hers
and in return, yours
yet again
written on 12/13/13
 Jul 2017 medha
Aditi
Never again.
 Jul 2017 medha
Aditi
I remember when I was young
I wrote in my diary- Never to love
All in BLOCKS.
But
You were warm, And I was not
My mistake, I forgot.
You came in with a face
Of all I knew AND all I should not want.


I remember stolen breaths,
See through excuses,
The adrenaline.
I should have known better..
But
You were persistent, and so was i
Some nights, I consoled my heart
Some nights the beats would be lullabies
I dared to sleep upon.
(Some nights I consoled my heart
Some nights it was my heart's turn
To become lullabies, I'd lay my head upon)

I remember how it all changed
Small steps, uneasy, nothing to object
Till you were close enough
For so long..
I did not know where i was
When you would go..
If you should go.
But
Your reassurances that I'll never have to wonder.
Then why?
Do i go through my shelves
Wondering which book and whose story
Are you bringing colors into now?

I remember finding sunrise in your smile
Brightening to grey my blackest hours
That smirk upon your face,
those impish eyes
How could I have not fallen for?
But
I knew all along my story's end,
A light that bright burns way too soon
(I rather hoped it would not. Another mistake,
I just forget.)
I Hope, because you told me I must.

I remember when I was young,
I promised myself to never love
And how i forgot!
(You made me forget.)
But
Now I have a bag packed with essentials
Hidden under the bed, my visa renewed
And a courage overfed
You might guess, but you'd never know why.

My morning prayers become a chant
Reciting all the ways it would not last.
 Jul 2017 medha
Aditi
How to write
 Jul 2017 medha
Aditi
When you're writing, show your brutal honesty in the ugliest ways by using the softest words.
Next page