Sometimes, you lie down alone and wonder whether you actually meant as much to her as you thought you did.

You contemplate whether she thinks of you when she can't sleep and dream at night and you hope that she misses you like the way you miss her.

You question the decisions you made and you begin to think deeply; could you have done things differently to make her stay?

You get angry - furious even, that she could be so selfish and inconsiderate to accept your love when she highly likely had no intentions of sticking around.

You’re a mess. You’re a vortex of emotions that words can’t even describe and the worst part is - even though you want to tell them how they made you feel, you can’t.

And that makes you feel pathetic.

Trust me, I know how it feels.

Maybe, in a different circumstance,
I would've loved you more.
Maybe, in any other circumstance,
I would have held your hand,
and gone for long walks along the beach,
for quick, secret, countless getaways.
Maybe, in another time,
I would have given you every part of me.
a thousand times over,
unconditionally,
with no regrets and no hesitations.
Perhaps maybe, in a different circumstance.
But in the end, i know,
we were never really just friends.
We seemed pretty cozy for "just friends."

it breaks my heart because i would do so much for you,
despite knowing you wouldn't do half of it for me.

there is congruence and harmony
in the meaning behind your name
and the time when you waltzed in my life.
i discovered that today.

it was during my lowest of lows,
and darkest of darks,
seemingly devastated by a storm,
when you came along.

your name means rainbow in greek.
perhaps you live out and uphold its meaning.
for you gave back the missing colors,
in my once pitch-black world.

my heart breaks a little
knowing that one day,
we'll be miles apart.

my heart breaks a little
thinking about the fact
that we'll have to battle distance.

my heart breaks a little
considering that someday,
we'll be in different timezones.

my heart breaks a little,
but as i realize how blessed i am
to love someone like you,
my heart starts to break a little less.

my heart breaks a little.
my heart breaks a little less.
my heart will always yearn for you
and i'll certainly wait 'til i get to hold you again.