you taught me something new,
something simple but true;
something important but only realized by a few.

you taught me that weary hearts can feel again,
and even scarred hearts can be freed from strain.
you made me forget my fear of feeling pain.
you, yes you, keep me sane.

She puts the cigarette between her lips
and I imagine myself in it's place.
She smiles and I see
the sparkle in her eyes that I live for.

My mind becomes cloudy
as she blows smoke from her mouth.
"Smoking is bad for you."
I say, looking over her.

"So am I."
I say, before she turns away.

I'm the kind of person
who loves to
look at the stars at night.
I feel comfortable
as I'm staring at the beautiful dark,
not knowing if there's anything
gazing at me too.

I guess that's why
I fell in love with you.
I always see the beauty
in everything you do,
even if I didn't know
about the darkness inside of you.
I love you even in the dark,
not knowing what's hidden within.

And I'm embracing everything,
even your pitch-black darkness.
Because the moon and the stars
won't shine as bright in daylight.
I want to waltz with your darkness,
even if I'm afraid of the dark.
Tell me, darling, will you do this for me too?

i do not desire to love you
as if you were a bright sunflower or a radiant moon,
or anything that is easy to adore.

i desire to love you
as how certain imperfections are to be loved,
cherishing even your withered petals and massive craters.

i want to love you
when you're happy
while your eyes glisten of euphoria,
and your mouth flashes a mirthful laugh.

i want to love you
when you're messed up,
while your tears rush across your face,
and your hands tremble as you yearn for an embrace.

this is how i desire to love you.
i want to give more radiance to your smile
and bring order to your chaos.
i want your lights and shadows,
even the in-betweens.

i desire to love you
both in your highest of highs
and lowest of lows.
so light up your cold heart
and rest your heart on me.

maybe.
maybe if we kept wishing on
ordinary, tiny stars every night
instead of waiting for
majestic, shooting stars,
our wishes could've come true by now.

maybe.
maybe if we just looked closer
and paid more attention
to the people around us,
we wouldn't have fallen for
the wrong one.

perhaps, maybe,
maybe, just maybe.
maybe, we could've been
if we wished on ordinary, tiny stars
and if we looked closer from the start.
maybe.

Perhaps no one knows
how tough life has been for me lately,
and how close I am from giving up.

But when I hear you laugh,
life goes from tough to the easiest thing
and you keep me going somehow.

watch what she photographs.
not in digital, but in film.
where the shots are limited,
where the photographs are quite unexpected,
where she takes the picture carefully,
because she's worried that it would be blurry.

thirty-six decisions, thirty-six shutters.
watch what she spends her film for.
preserving conversations,
preserving memories,
preserving sensations,
all shared with you.

perhaps she wants to keep,
not just photographs but fragments of you.
through capturing photographs,
between flares and grains,
or even negatives and shadows,
she has thirty-six memories all kept in a roll.