I need you
I need you really badly
im screaming out for you
im nearly calling your name,
asking you for help

im at my worst,
at my lowest
and yet you do nothing,
who are you?

you don't care about me
I hurt myself daily and you dont care
all you care about is everyone else
like all of the other times

im suffering the worst
and yet you just turn your head and walk away
don't you see,
I need you

so, if Im dead,
you wouldn't care either,
cause simply,
YOU DON'T CARE!!!!

I walk around aimlessly
I realize more and more,
I have no purpose for life

I don't want to go home
I don't want to cover up the frown I have to hide
its better if I crawled up and died
because im already dying inside

if I just wander around like this forever
it will help everyone around me
they won't have to deal with me
and the demons I possess

they win this time
im done
with life,
with fighting back

im gone,
and im never coming back

my demons have won
and now im dead,
and forever gone

I had this dream about a year ago
and now its back
we were in top of the empire state building
there was no explanation for it at all
we were standing there,
I was staring into your brown eyes
everything seemed fine
it was pouring and raining
but we didn't care
as long as the other person was there
suddenly I slipped
and I feel
you grabbed onto my hand
I held on for my dear life
I was so scared,
but for you,
that was not the same
you said nothing, still
you shook your head and said " I have to do this"
you let me go

its going to be 6 years,
or maybe 7
since you've been gone

I miss you,
I miss you so bad
you are the best friend
right now that I wish I had

this holiday is tough
I wish you were here
and I wish,
I wish you were near

on Christmas morning,
i'll think about you
and on that day,
I won't be blue

I love you

how long can we hurt
before we fall apart

how long can we suffer
until it gets to much

weeks?
months?
years?
just tell me, how long?

we can only suffer for so long
until we break
or we fall

but, is it worth it at all?

who am I?
what happened to me?
what happened to the little girl that used to be so happy?

its gone
its all gone
my happiness
hope
everything is gone
i'll never see the old me again

urgh
i'm so stressed

my pile of work used to be so small
just a few things
but it grew
and grew
and grew
it may fall on me

when I thought it wouldn't get bigger,
it did
it's still growing
it will never end

its been two weeks
I haven't made a dent
my pile of work will never end