I write to escape you.
I write to escape the thought of you.
Conflicted//Emotions
***** you//Functions
Just what I’d like to say,
But let’s keep it tight-lipped.

Three’s a barrier, here.
Finding desperation there.
Unintelligible governmental back-funding to the cerebral cortex of the unintended consequences of the Raven’s fighting the Foster System.

Forgetting Unbecoming, Consistently Klepto-Issues Negating Greatness
Place Ignorance and Close Kept UPbringing
YOUR
Self Hating Innocent Tainting

You should be afraid of me
Most people are
I'm a monster of emotions and broken parts
Don't try to piece me back it's not worth the struggle
I'm in the land of lost toys hiding neath the rubble
I'll come out some day when I'm good and ready
But not yet sweet child for these delusions are heavy

Hanging from the noose is my poor soul
Don't come up or you be pulled into my cold
Dark hands reaching for the surface
But the water is murky and your face a blur
I'll find you sometime when my eyesight is clear
But not yet sweet child for I'm not one to endear

Rings at the alter I'm swaying to the music
My sins I have bore will soon make me lose it
I lie and I love and I dream and indulge
But nothing is worth your soul I engulfe
One day I'll be strong and speak the right lines
But not yet sweet child I need to go for a ride

I don’t need you to understand, all I need is for you to care,
I need you to help me now, this ME…open, vulnerable… laid bare.
Break the barrier; break through the wall when I push back with all my might,
Push me to the limit; I need to learn to fight. Make me face my demons and all the things I hate,
If you help me now, it just may be my clean slate.
Please push me out of the fire and pull me into the light,
But when it gets scary I need you to pull me close and hold me really tight.
I may lash out in anger, I may scream and I may cry,
But this is my defense…don’t give up on me, please try.
I want to live a life worth living, I want to be reborn,
And yet I also feel deep down inside me, a part of me is torn.
That part of me wants to keep my defenses and my self-destructive ways,
Another part knows that in the end, it is only me that pays.
But at night the darkness surrounds me and drags me to its core,
And I feel so alone and scared hiding on the bathroom floor.
He holds me down and has his way with me,
I feel like I am dying, or maybe I’m already dead.
Evil lurks beside me, it whispers in my ear,
The words they speak cut through me, and I live in constant fear.
Please help me feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, help remove the veil,
Convince me that the darkness I live in will only last a while.
Reach your hand into my soul help release this rage,
Help me find the key to unlock the door, close the chapter, and write a brand new page.
I know the first step is the hardest but don’t give up just yet,
It’s so hard for me to trust you… to believe in the end recovery is what I’ll get.
Over and over again I fall,
I scream and shout and doubt you, when you say I’m learning to stand tall.
But don’t give up on me now I still need you please don’t put me back on the shelf,
Every night when the darkness comes, I give up on myself.