How was I supposed to know
That things would end like this
How was I supposed to know
That you would do something like this
That I would feel a pain like this
Every time you don't speak
My heart becomes weak
I no longer see the love in your eyes
The love I now despise
And hate with so much passion
The emotions erupt within
My mind, body, and soul
That rocks my very spirit
That chisals at my heart
Until you can no longer see it
But I need you as mine
So I hurt no more
So that I really am fine
And I really am ok
So I no longer have to lie
So I can live and not die
I can only dream that dream
I know it won't happen
But I'll tappin' and tappin'
On true love's door
Until I break it down
And demand you by name
With a roaring flame
Of love and nothing less
But I'm too late
You have found you "soul mate"
I guess this is fate
The way its supposed to be
So much I love you
I guess you don't love me
If I could change my ignorence
Alter my stupidity
I would make me see
The way you look at him
The way you used to look at me
No more you stare
Now you just glare
I thought the love we had
Was special and rare
But, again, I was wrong
Now I'm stuck singing
This sad, sad song
With this non-stop ringing
And this constant stinging
Shreding my very being
But I keep you from seeing
My pain and my tourment
My heart thats broken and bent
Pieces are shattered
Beaten and battered
Standing with this girl flirting
Then I see you and him
And for a second all is dim
With the residue of love
But as you pass
So does the thought
And when it and you are gone
I'm back to talking and walking
Just sitting and bullshitting
You have this new guy
And I have my new girl
But I still ask why
Why you still sigh
And reminisce of us
And our secrets in the mist
I also wish we could go back there
So it will be just you and me
So I can whisper softly to you
I love you , baby....
And you can whisper back to me
I love you too....
Love's rendezvous

I lay gentle kiss of bliss
Upon her lips
My neck is blessed by her breath
Bodies are caressed as her *******
Are pressed against my chest
A bond beyond any words
Or explanation any feeling or sensation
But sadly the translation
Is lost in lust and tossed to the dust
Now the sun is coming up
Which is the que for my escape
But instead I just wait for you to awake
Because to see your face
In the morning day break
Is a more beautiful sight
Then any sunrise could make
Too bad it's fake...
There's a snake in the grass
Under that mask so I won't even ask
For you to be taking it off
I don't want to see
What your evil side is capable of
So back up your battered car
While I patch up my battle scars
Cause only these scattered stars
Know what the things that matter are
So I guess it's a plus you see
That you're only in love with me
While your lost in lust like me

The things I have been through
Make me question why
Why can't I die?
Why can't I just grow wings and fly
Float away to the sky
Leave earth with relieved goodbye
But no I have to stay
And watch the threads of my life fray
Until the long awaited day
Where I hear you say
See you later one last time
When my pen hits the paper
For one last rhyme
And then I lift that pen
After that one last line
Then I can take that peaceful flight
With the Gates of Heaven in sight
I'm hoping I accepted
After all I might
But I haven't done that much good
And never once did I fight
For something worth while
So now I'm setting everything right
With a soft warm smile
But no one sees me care
They say it's not my style
They say my heart is too bare
And my mind is too wild
I'm not trying to convince everyone
I just want to undo
The damage I have done
On my own life
I'll continue to bet
And through out life
I'll continue to repay that debt
Until its my time
And death I have met
So all thats left for me
Is to lie in wait
Contimplate and calculate
On the arrival of
That so atticipated date
Where for one last time
I can attempt to defy my fate

As we sit together
And she sits next to us
Envy burning through her eyes
Like a million fire flies
A burning, crackling, roaring flame
Fed by her shame
All because she wanted to play this game
And she wanted it to be the same
But she forgot one thing
Her game is lame
And now she is mad
Because now I'm not mad
'Cause I have you
And she and I are done
'Cause I found the one
Now this heart of stone
Is no longer alone
Because now I have you
And you have me
And the world will leave us be
'Cause your love will set me free
Releasing my shackles and chains
Taking me outside of this cell
To where it never rain
Escaping my spirit from this hell
Although these scars still stay
And they will never go away
But your love keeps my anger at bay
And your kiss lets me live another day
So here, forever, I will stay.

I have this secret
That I think is best to confess
To lift this burden off my chest
I'm hoping this broken token
I'm holding will open
Door number four
Because one, two, and three
Just aren't enough for me
Now you can call me greedy
But believe me sweetie
You're more then enough to feed me
So don't decieve me
Just plain SEE me
Cause these days in time
I feel deaf, dumb and blind
So I hide this mind of mine
Behind every rhyme
And write every line
Like you're never going to read it
On the sole fact that I need it
So when you finally meet it
Treat it like you've never seen it
Just the first of the only
Two things I can give you
So if both your hands are empty
You need only to simply tempt me
In your palms I'll place them both gently
And grant you entry
Past that which defends me

Through all his days
And through all his years
He caused so much pain
And forced so many tears
So no one sheds them for him
Not even his peers
And no one stands with him
As he faces his fears
What was once his mark on the world
Rubs off and smears
He stands alone
In these unknown frontiers
He tells her he loves her
And he knows she hears
But instead of relieving him
She lets him lay on the spears
While he’s crushed by the burden
Of these planetary spheres
With the flame of love
His flesh just sears
While holding up the world
His skin adheres
For all his deeds
His karma arrears
Him and his mind
Love’s racketeers
Him and his mind
The game’s pioneers
His heart and his mind
Now mutineers
As they betray him
He looks up and sneers
She ends his punishment
Because she interferes
She says I love you too
And everything clears
From his shoulders
The world disappears
Scars are left
As souvenirs
They’re reminders
In case who he was
Suddenly reappears

Somewhere deep inside it stirs
And at first it felt like a curse
But now that I have a better look
Its a hand filled with everything I took
Attached to an arm that bears my strength
Attached to a shoulder that carries this weight
Attached to a chest that is hollow and dark
Attached to a head that is falling apart
So they gaze upon me with the highest bias
Like they already know which one my lie is
When theres a noose on your neck
Its hard to tell how tight your tie is
Until I got this advice life doesnt play nice
Its hard and rough
And doesnt care if you're tough enough
Or how much stuff you can bluff
Or even who you wish you could love
So when you get knocked down
Knocked out or even knocked up
Dont just give up first sit up then get up
So now I'm brushing off the dust and more so the lust
Just trust that you and me making us is a must
Because we stand like no one else can
And I'm shaping your sand with my own bare hand
Attached to this arm that can hold you for years
Attached to this shoulder that can catch all your tears
Attached to this chest that has a place just for you
Attached to this head that wishes only that you knew

Inside of the infinite
I'm feeling rather finite
and I find
that high tide
is my time
to dine with the divine

twice a day
once in the light
once in the night

an angel with stretched wings pulled by a string
longer than it seems writing symphonies in my dreams
she whisper when she sings
each song rings betwixt my ears
reverberating reverence
evidence of the eternal
never evident if I'll return whole
each trip through the worm hole
requires a sacrifice

peace of life

many nights lying awake with gut rot
many lights where the wrong fight got fought
the water is rising
yet the boat is not

My question to the world is
Have you ever been lost?
Or felt like no meaning?
Empty and cold
Like a drug addict fiending
Drop everything
Just to pick up nothing
Put up a strong front
When you knew you were bluffing
Now you're hollowed out
Like a turkey no stuffing
And the universe is on you
With weight so crushing
You're walking in slow motion
And everyone is rushing
You're falling behind
So you open your mind
Only to find
That it has been confined
Now I'm left in the dust
To sit here and rust
Hitchhike with this sign
That says "Sanity or Bust"

Music turned up louder than our ears can even hear.
Slurping and gulping down elixers of courage.
Brave as we want to be dancing furiously,
but more so fearlessly.
The one you came to hear is me,
anything else is heresy.

Zombies can rock but never make you come alive.
So I press my scepter to my lips
and scream to my fist
"Make 'em move like THIS!"

...And just like that all minds are lost...
...Priceless or worthless whatever the cost...

You are not the last of us,
just one of the blastphemous.

Nothing but sand
As far as I can see
No hide and seek
This vulture is in sight of me
Continuously even in sleep
Massive wings a deep
Almost tranquil black
Each murderous flap
Hits like a thunder clap
Or better yet a back hand slap
To remind me of the fact
That as long as I roam
Nothing is ever my own
So when I find anything I feel is a meal
It swoops down to steal
Everything I call real
Now hardly far from starving
Me and this vulture keep arguing
That my nibbles and bites
Can suffice to keep me warm
Through these nights
I wonder how it will survive
When I'm no longer alive
Because it almost literally
Feeds off me
Then whispers it's needs softly
That I meet promptly
So it can constantly taunt me
Because the thought haunts me
That if it went home
I would roam all alone

This emotion surges
I'm totally controlled
By these urges
Wrath has engulfed me
Fire is all I see
As my spirit claws fiercely
Through my body to be free
My mind knows nothing but madness
This insanity is the result
Of my endless sadness
Hurled over the edge
Thrown off the ledge
Of clear thinking and normalcy
Anger's flames surround me
Like some sort of sorcery
I put evryone in danger
When empowered by my anger
I become someone else
To the world a stranger
A vicious savage
Capable of mass damage
To any and everyone
That happens to fall in his path
He doesn't care
Helpless or not
Pitty he doesn't carry
Destruction is all he brought
Death awaits you
If you happen to get caught
Standing in just one spot
He'll mercelessly rip you apart
And leave you to rot
So you'll step out of his way
If sense is what you got
If you wish to see anohter day
This is a battle best not fought
Ignore his wreckage
Don't stop and stare
Or you'll be hypnotized
By his heartless glare
Then drop a terrified tear
While you're paralyzed by fear
From there a slow painful death
Is all thats left
So for your own safety
Stay away from him
Until his light goes from dark
And back to just dim
When you see him for a while flee
Eventually he will turn back into me

There once was an angel
To look after a girl
There once was an angel
To resurrect her world
She loved this angel
And dreamed of them together
But every time she hurt him
Down came a feather
She thought they were gifts from him
When they fell from the sky
So she held them close
And never asked why
She kept each one
Not knowing the damage she’s done
And at the end of the day
She puts them next to her bed
In very special place
Then rests her head
With a smile on her face
Not knowing soon he’ll be dead
Not knowing he’s hurting
From all the things she said
He looks at his wounds
As he tries to say “I love her”
He tries to protect her
And tries to stay above her
He looks down
And she no where around
So he lets himself
Crash to the ground
That night she had nightmares
And together-less dreams
And in the morning found her angel
With featherless wings
So rushed to where she kept them
And she collected all of them
She put them back on his body
Only to watch them fall again
His heart filled with the resin
Of love’s bitter sweet nectar
But if he goes back to heaven
Who will protect her?
So he turns in his halo
And his torn apart wings
He gives up his powers
For material things
Now stuck on Earth
Never again to fly or glide
He gave up everything to be human
So he could stay at her side

Shhhhhhhhh
Do you hear that?
I think I've heard that song before
Can you play it once more just to be sure
'Cause under all this water
Everything sounds strange
So can you stay in your lane
I'm not down with the pain
I don't need to know your name
Or your status in the game
I feel like we came for the same thing
So quench my thirst and cure my hunger
You get on top after I go under
Then the rain and thunder
Sound like an infinite number
And as you start to sing
They continue to bring
Ceaseless diseases that break me to pieces
So I'm begging Jesus please just release us
The singing has been ringing
And already started stinging
Can you take it back to the beginning
When it all seemed more fitting
This sound is dampening what's left
**** near making me deaf
So show me the next step
Because I still can't hear anything yet

Alone I sat on the top of a hill
Singing my sad song
Staring on the residue
That’s been there for so long
Wondering if I did things wrong
Trying to pretend that I’m still strong
But everyone sees the strength I once had
Is fading away and its driving me mad
I try to fall onto my side
To let out my tears inside
And lay on top of that hill
Never moving invisible to the world
Never to love another girl
As I fall the side
Thinking of pains new
And pains older
My head hits not the ground
But someone’s shoulder
I thought who would save me?
I look up and its you baby
So I sit on the same hill
No longer with a heart of stone
So I sit on the same hill
No longer alone

Destruction rains down
From a storm stricken cloud
The wind muffles the sound
Of the rain drops shattering the ground


Like the concrete is made of glass
Being not the first but the last
Is the only thing I could ask
If she would ever read past


The cover of the book
To give it one more look
Or hand back what she took
My bishop, knight; and rook


Her darkness harbors creatures
With the all her demon's features
Why should it be me first?
Does she really think I can defeat her's?



These walls were built with the intention
To keep all of mine fenced in
In hopes one day to send them
To some other dimension


Alas; I have fought three or four
Of her demons before
But when I asked for more
She locked the door


So I can't keep believing
That she's going to keep reading
The truth is she's leaving
And I still feel like I'm bleeding.

I pretend to be indestructible
But I know I'm not
I pretend things don't effect me
But inside I rot
I make it look like I roll with the punches
So you never thought
For one second that I wouldn't protect you
From harm anyone sot
To inflict upon you
I play the role of bulletproof vest
You take one percent of the damage
And I take the rest
I'm willing to be your human shield
So you take a pin ***** of the blade
While my wounds can't be healed
So I stand bleeding
In a flower filled field
You didn't realize
We could have been something great
You didn't know how much I love you
And now it's too late
This was my destiny
This was my fate
To die attempting to touch
Something that can't be reached
Because I love you so much
It didn't matter what happened to me
Pain, heartbreak, and things of that such
Didn't demoralize me
And since I left, now I see
That I was born to die
And died to be
Your guardian angel
I was created to protect you
I was created to love you
I still do my job
Only now I float above you

More vital than breath
More precious than gold
Reliving the story
I have already told
Again warming
This heart’s so cold
Under this pain
I crumble and fold
Freezing cold
And so cumbersome
This burden
Is a most unbearable one
Until the moment
I see the sun
It instantly fades
My frostbitten pain
And resurrects
This heart that
Once laid slain
Now the darkness will melt
Erasing the hurt I once felt
Now feeling the soft rays
Of the sun’s affection
They are the cure
To this heartbreaking infection
So I stand in the light
Afraid of the cold dark
If the sunsets
And disappears from sight
I’ll be eternally lost
In this painful frost
Of the dark frozen night

You walked away...
Even though I asked you to stay...
I just want to be friends...
Thats what you told me...
As our love ends...
And now I see...
Reality and the truth...
You never loved me...
And it was just a spoof...
Off the real thing...
Like a glass one...
To a real diamond ring...
And my heart did sting...
But now not so much...
Now that I realize...
I hurt because of your touch...
But now that its gone...
I feel so much better...
Now that its gone...
I feel like I'm so much more...
And our love will never soar...
Because it was never there...
This all comes to mind...
While I peirce you with my cold blank stare...
Thanks to you I will never find...
My missing piece to my heart...
And I hate this part...
As you walk out and say goodbye...
I sit and I cry...
But not over you, God not you!
I know I'm still alone...
That is the reason and that is why...
I sit here and so hard I try...
Not to break down and cry...
As I sit here with no one but Me, Myself, and I.....

All that surrounds us
Is lies and betrayal
The wounds have been dealt
And they are fatal
They hurt so badly
I think death is certain
All of this on top of
My pain within
There’s nothing I can do
To keep her out of your ear
There’s nothing I can do
To keep her out of here
She’s trying to invade this
Our special place, The Mist
To shatter our endless bliss
And split us apart
Then steal you place in my heart
I tried to tell you
But you didn’t believe me
I tried to warn you
But you didn’t heed me
Now you sitting
With you head spinning
Engulfed in confusion
And you don’t know
What to think
You don’t know who to believe
I told you this would happen
Nothing but lies come out
When her mouth starts flappin
Let her come at us
As hard has she can
She can’t faze us
As long as I stand
Right here holding your hand
If you only believe what is right
And not what she will say
And we make it through the night
There’s always a brighter day
Sun shinning as we rise from the rubble
And I look at you and say
We made it baby
Now it’s just you and me
The way it should be
Then I give you a kiss
And we disappear
Into The Mist
But who is this
It’s her standing there
Determined with clutched fists

Out of all my days under the burning sun
I regret not for the things I have done
I regret not for all the times I had fun
Now I regret something but only one
My vengeful thoughts got the best of me
Now my heart questions my mind
And my mind questions the rest of me
Some say what I did was right
Because you did the same **** to me
But they don't see
That what I did
Destroyed everything we could be
Tell me this
How are we
Supposed to live happily
If I can't trust you
And you can't trust me
Say I did all this for you to get rid of me
No punishment would sit more fittingly
For you to still stay with me
And still lay with me
'Cause if I hate to be
Around you then punish me
And don't leave me
Stay right next to me
All this of course speaking hyopthetically
That isn't what I want
And this isn't just a stunt
I love you baby
And that isn't just a front
I'm sorry for all the things I have done to you
All the times I made you blue
I see how much its hurts you
And for that I wish you never knew
I should have just left it to hide
So that I could eat me inside
As our relationship grew
Into the blossoming flower
I wish it to I will be
For everything im sorry
Now the only thing I regret...is you loving me

Soft lullabies of the sirens song
Are sang with no remorse
Thinking this could be a trap
As I lay my head back
Worlds collided
Behind each eyelid
While she slept
Every secret she kept crept
Through the darkness of the room
Seeking to consume all we assumed
Swallowing me whole
As I try to keep hold
Of my curiousity
And not let my thoughts
Run off with me
Pulling the questions from under me

What is she wondering?
Why does the rain keep thundering?
How long will her dreams keep her away from me?
When will she wake up?
Where will she be?
Who will she see?

Will it be me?
Or just the reminiscence of broken memories
I fought everything she brought
And I thought that I taught myself better
Yet here she sleeps
As I watch her dreams seep
Into the deep depths
Where her nightmare-ish demons rule
The one and only thing I can do
Is plant the seed and hope it doesn't bleed
It's not up to me what she lets run free
But observing her wishes and hopes
Grow and pop like over inflated balloons
Is taking a tole on me
She's unknowingly breaking the whole of me
And picking the pieces apart
Sticking them back at the start
In my sickening blackened heart

From behind the scars
Her mind and heart whisper to me

"She won't let us tell you
But we're tired of the struggle
So we speak to you while we still have control
This girl that you hold...
Has a skull full of doubt
And it starting to push us out
It's shade of blue is shining through
So we don't know what else to do
We might just let her love you...
If you gave us the chance
We could make her legs dance
Then she would love you...
With no remorse, we promise, she would love you"

I peer upon the closed windows to her soul
And want nothing more
Then to rip them open and scream

I LOVE YOU!

Because I want her very spirit to hear it.

Mourn for the lost
Have scorn for the cost
It was too much to ask
And it happened too fast

Run from desire
Seek shelter in the fire
Run to the end of it
And witness the oblivion

Unveil your darkness
Harvest the heartless
Cower from your shadows
Never drift from the shallows

Cautious and wary
Fore the unkown is scary
Courage will be needed
If demons are to be defeated

You want to SEE I'll show you
Come with me I'll hold you
This wind can take us where ever
So lets not worry about the weather.

Sometimes my heart dies
And when that happens
My mind cries
And when that happens
My soul flies
And keeps on going
On a constant rise
To a place that sits
Well above the skies
And in that place
I need not a mask or a guise
Unbound by society's
Stereotypical ties
I am unaffected by
The world's maniacal lies
And in this place
No one says their goodbyes
Because no one has to
Ever meet their demise
And everyone loves
No one chooses sides
Everyone's loyal
There are no traitors or spies
No one is in competition
Because there is no prize
This is where I want us to be
For the rest of our lives
Because this is what I see
When I look into your eyes

Sometimes I wonder
sometimes I wander
most times I both.

Each that I don't the thought of you is what got me through.
A soft touch, warm embrace, I am longing for the taste.
Palm to palm, chest to chest.

Sprawled upon the lakeside grass
waiting for the dreaming of you.

Sometimes I wrought
sometimes I rot
most times I both

Each that I don't it is fitting that I'm sitting with you
chest to chest, face to face.

Sprawled upon the lakeside grass
dreaming of and waiting for
You.

This heart though broken it is
Is the only thing that I have to give
My life along with material possessions
Can be stripped without discretion
That was one of my earliest lessons
And I learned it quick
God hit me so hard
To make sure it would stick
But it seems if I learned nothing else in life
But pain anguish and the english language
It's that love is too dangerous
Especially for strangers
I tought you that our first go around
Your head was in the clouds
And my feet on the ground
Now I'm looking down still earth bound
And what is this I've found
Do you hear that familiar sound?
That bird singing that familiar song
Oh I've waited so long to hear this song
Because while its playing nothing goes wrong
You recorded it put it on repeat
So now it's always on
I wish my past self was stronger
Or braver than the moster
That plagues my thoughts everyday
Direct result of learning the hard way
But none the less
I've learned what you tried to teach me
How to love
Not through words and such
But through a kiss
A hug
A look
A touch
Now knowing the rules
I've back to your school
And plopped my happy ***
Right in the front of your class
So you can't look past
When I raise my hand and ask
I love you baby
But what else do you need from me?
Because the thought of you leaving me
Doesn't sit neat for me
So if I don't have what you want
Please tell me now while I'm up front
Because though broken it is
My heart is all I have to give

Life is but only
Just an illusion of death
So cold and lonely
As I draw my last breath
On my death bed
Reminiscing memories
Of things I said
Beautiful thoughts
Flowing through my head
Thinking of all
The right I have wronged
For the simplicity of death
Oh how I have longed
The complications of life
Made it hard to live
The lack of receptions
Made it hard to give
The way life passed me by
Kept me solitary
Even as I lay ready to die
Death mocks me
And keeps me alive
I struggle and squirm
And try not to survive
He refuses to deal
A fatal blow
He wants me to feel
The pain of death row
Now I see
The punishment
Bestowed upon me
With the end so near
All is clear
Suddenly I don’t want to die
But inevitable death
Passes me by

Your 'love' sickens me
But it has trapped me
In my own mind
And I beg it to set me free
So I might see the sun
So I might find the one
The one I might call my own
So I will no longer be alone
The one who will love me more
Than all the ones before
But I will never find
This beautiful girl of mine
'Cause I'm trapped in my own mind
Stuck in this hell hole
Because my heart you stole
But now I'm stealing it back
Even though I'm shackled to this rack
And chained up in this cell
While you make my life a living hell
'Till she comes to save me
And release this love within me
Because its her and only her
That keeps my life a stir
And then I awaken
A deep breath I take in
I'm stilled shackled and chained
My heart still scared and maimed
Someone's coming through the door
It's a girl but I can't tell much more
And I relax my fists
Because I know who it is

Can you hear me?
Of course you cant...

You're too busy...
trying to breathe life into my screaming lungs.

But your twisting silver tongue
can never undo the damage that's been done.

Build your sickeningly silky and slick
web of words and hypocritcal contradictions.

Keep scratching the scabs if they keep itching,
but keep in mind they will start bleeding.

Dance my puppet dance,
because it make my princess laugh.

Among this aftermath,
her smile is all that I have

If I told you I hate you...
Would you cry?...
If I told you I loved you...
Would you ask me why?...
Because at one point I did...
But now I don't...
Now I hate you, as you close the lid...
On me...No on US...
I hate the way you smile...
And I hate the way you giggle...
If I could turn back time, just turn back the dial...
I would turn it back, but just a little...
Back when you never knew...
How much I cared and loved you...
But none of that matters now...
As I start life a new...
A life without pain...
A life without hurt...
A life without tears...
But most of all....
A life without you....

This heart is still stinging
And the beautiful tone
Is still ringing
But now its getting louder
And now its hurting more
Now this heart is powder
My angel I still adore
Even though I told you before
That I love you much more
Than you could ever believe
You still walk away and you still leave
I'm lost without you
So I sit and I cry
But dont worry Im not going to die
Plus you're the one with cheeks that are dry
I dont want us to be done
But I guess what I said is true
About me and you
I am the moon, and you are the sun
Even though we look close and near
We are a million miles apart
And what I fear
But it wasnt like this from the start
Why cant we go back to the way we was
Exactly how we used to be
When our relationship was a buzz
When I loved you and you loved me
But now everyone can see
We arent how we used to be
I still love you but you dont love me
I thought we would last
I said it wouldnt be like the past
I thought we would last long
But I guess I was wrong
I thought our love was strong
But I guess I was wrong
I guess its too weak
To even last a year
As you sit hear and speak
Telling me everything I dont want to hear
Who knew this would hurt this bad
How could you do this
Knowing I would be so sad
Knowing I would be so mad
You say you want me as just a friend
What about what I want?
I want to be your boyfriend
But who what I want
I guess you dont
I want you to stay with me
But I guess you wont
My heart was terrified
To ever love again
'Cause it has once before died
So I just curl up and hide
'Cause I hurt so bad inside
You tell me
That we cant be
If I cant tell you how I feel
But if our love was real
Its shouldnt even matter
As my heart lies here battered and shattered
I thought you would be there
To help me pick up these pieces
But as long as you stand there and stare
My anger and love does all but ceases
I need you here by my side
So that I wont hurt so bad inside
She took and broke all but my pride
And then left me behind
Then you came to pick me up
When I was weak and defenseless
When I was just a boy, just a pup
And now I'm a man but still helpless
I need you to love me more
And love me no less
But you leave me alone
In a wreckage of mess
As my heart turns to stone
I need you much more
Than you ever needed me
That why I can believe
That you could leave
Me on this floor alone
As my heart turns to stone
And this anger rises
And boils over with wrath
While it shrinks 6 sizes
Now its just a pebble
But still a stone
And I lay here alone
Lying here motionless
As you close the door
And now I'm emotionless
While I lay on the floor
I sit up and watch you walk out
And you dont look back
So I just sit and I pout
I dont know what this is about
I dont know how you could do it
Or why you would do it
But I just drop my head
And lay in bed
Just thinking.....
As my heart keeps sinking
Deeper and deeper
As my life rolls down this hill
Steeper and steeper
No my life comes crashing down
And falls into ruins and rubble
Because of you I hurt double the trouble
And I fall into the dark
My love, just a faded mark
I'm still falling
I dont know where I'm going
I hit the ground and its snowing
Its so very cold
And the air is bitter and ****
I know where I am now
Since the walls are stone
I'm inside my heart
And I'm still alone.................

I have done everything for you
I even turned my life around
I even told you that I loved you
But this phrase you confound
You though I meant something else
When I said my love was abound
You though I meant something else
When I said my love was profound
The bird that once was my passion
Now crashed to the ground
I don’t remember its song
And I can’t recall its sound
Because the storm of your ignorance
Forced my our ship aground
I hope your tears as immense
That way you’ll drown
I blame my stupidity
For my mind being unsound
Or maybe it’s all the girls
That have been redound
Onto my long list
To create this compound
But then I met you
And my life unwound
I believed you to be different
And then I frowned
I believed you to be different
And then I found
That you’re not so different
Than other girls around
And just like theirs
I won’t let our bird’s song resound
No not this time
This time it will stay downed
It was damaged from last time
So it couldn’t have survived this fall
You broke its leg, wing and neck
So now it can’t even crawl
But I don’t care
That bird means nothing to me
Just like you
Another hole in my wall

I told you I loved you...
You told me you loved me...
But you never knew...
How much I hated you secretly...
And now I'm glad you left...
And now I'm glad Your gone...
Since you left...
My happiness can dawn...
And now that I see...
The real truth...
That you care not for me...
And WE were just a spoof...
But no matter what you think...
I am fine, and I am OK...
You hit me with everything you had...
But I'll live to love another day...
And to your suprise, I still stand...
Because you can't see...
That you can't faze me...
You're not strong enough...
And your too weak in your own mind...
And I'm too tough...
And you have yet to find...
YOUR true love...
And your Angel or Godsend from above...
I just wanted to tell you...
That I am fine...
And see if you knew...
That I found mine...
And its not you...

You thought you could do it again...
But you thought wrong...
'Cause this is now and that was then...
And I guess I'm not strong...
'Cause I see the game you trying to play...
And I see that scam you trying to run...
And I let you do it all day every day...
But she gives me the strength to say I'm done...
So it's no longer "her"...
And its no longer "you"...
I have a new girl...
Taking my world for a whole new twirl...
Now things are better...
Since me and her are together...
And since I cast you aside...
I can see the truth you desperatly tryed to hide...
In the crevasses and holes you call a heart...
Deep down inside...
You tryed to shield me...
And protect me from her...
You tryed to help me...
When life was a blur...
But now I see clear...
And now I see all...
While I hold her near...
And I stand tall...
And hold her at my side...
As I change the tide...
While she melts my cold heart...
And chisels the incasing stone...
And I smile while it tears you apart...
'Cause I have this new girl...
And your still alone...........

Standing in this room
With the leaking ceiling
While the rain pours down
Drops shattering on the roof
And sneaking through the cracks
Being caught by these pots and pans
As my heart unfolds
Singing a song unsung
Telling a story untold
Unspoken whispers at my lips
Screaming secrets at the tip of my tongue
Mind cowering in the corner
Scared of life
Afraid to die
Can't escape from this pain
Immune to happiness
Numbed by hurt
Broken by love
Fed by hate
This is my life story
As long as you stand next to me
Holding my hand

Your voice so bitter sweet
Hurls me into painful reality
Everytime you speak
You don't see
The things you say eat me alive
They rip me apart and **** me inside
They beat and abuse
This weather worn hide
I looked at you seperate
Something you unique
There was something about you
Something mistique
Your love had me spinning
It pinned me down
With sintrifical force
I was stuck to the ground
Overwelmed by sorrow
As I rise with a frown
I make my way to the door
No longer stunned by your love
My feet flat on the floor
I wish we could have worked this out
And made everything good
Now I'm walking out
Like I said I would
On our Paradise
The door I now close
It was all a waste of time I suppose
As nightfall settles down
All is froze
Frost bites the trees, flowers
And the tip of your nose
My footprints echo in your mind
Like a stomp
Our crystal clear creek
Now a bubbling swamp
That's haunted by the sounds
Of the frog
Our once was Paradise
Covered in a solid white fog
You must have put forth a tremendous effort
To turn a place like this
Into the horrid, dreadful mist
Our Paradise's destruction is done
You broke my heart
Because you thought I had none
But I do have a heart
Just a chipped and cracked one
You thought that I feel no emotion
But I do and they flow
Like a storm plauged ocean
It's just anger is the only one I put into motion
You just never bothered to look deep inside
And try to find the feelings I hide
As you contimplate on the damage of your dents
You look down and see tear drops
Next to my footprints
All stops
And everything makes sense
You drop tears next to mine
And step into my footprints
Then dark turns to dim
As you begin to follow them

If only, if only...
If only you knew...
How much I care...
And how much I love you...
Your spot in my heart...
Is vast and wide...
Nothing can compare...
To this love I hold inside...
This love for you...
That I hold, is umatched...
And I know you love me too...
No one can understand...
That our love...
Can cover this land...
Mabye its just me...
Or maybe its just our love...
But to me your an angel...
Right from above...
God sent you down to me...
As a special gift...
Just for me, and for everyone to see...
I have u now only for me...
But I still lack to see...
If only if only...
If only I could see...
How much you care...
And how much you love me...

Everyday I see you
And everyday I hug you
I just wish that every day
I could tell you I love you
So I dont in fear
That one day you'll walk away
And leave me like all the rest
And my broken heart will be filled with sorrow
And insanity will settle in tomorrow
So everyday I just call you my friend
Sitting across from you daydreaming
Looking at the auroa gleaming
From your flawless beauty
You see me staring at you
And faintly smile, wink, and blow a kiss
I smirk and kiss the air
You giggle cause you were kidding
And you think I am too
As to not reveal my true feelings
I giggle along with you
Even though it hurts to not tell you
And every time we play like that
It feels like your killing me
Cause my pain you dont see
I just wish I could let you know
How I feel about you
Only if you felt the same
Right when I'm about to tell you
Into my life she came
A girl that can give me anything
A girl that has everything
Now once again I'm stuck
Caught in a tug-a-war of emotions
And in a waterfall of love
And still I dont know what to do...

Lies and deceat
Are spawned by your fear
But take a seat
And listen here
You keep it all descreat
With an 'I love you dear'
But you fail to see
That I hold u near
And I'll always be
Sitting right here
I love you too much
To let you go
It gives me a rush
Just to let you know
When I tell you how I feel
For a minute all is slow
And I can see everything
Even the wind blow
I sit at the water's edge
And watch the creek flow
The sun's gentle rays
Whisper secrets of love
The birds sing songs
Of an angel from above
And the soft green grass
Echoes what is sung by the dove
I sit staring
At the water so blue
Then smile at the image
The reflection of you
We are together in paradise
To start evrything anew
Because you ment what you said
When you said I love you too

I want to tell you
The things you don’t know
I want to let you see
The things that don’t show
The things about me
That I hold deep inside
The things about me
That I try and hide
That I hide so well
But now its time
To come out of this shell
Just once more
I’ll try and show her
In hopes to leave her heart astir
Butterflies in her tummy
And weak in the knees
I’m begging you please
Just listen to me
I’m not all they make me out to be
I just want you to see
Me, just me
Not the way they see me
But the way I see me
The way I want us to be
Alone but happy
Where I love you
And you love me

Most believe love to be
A stone plate
Their efforts forever
Etched in the slate
But the truth is
Love is more like sand
You pick up a pile
Just to have it run through your hand
You struggle to force it
And keep it there
But as the wind blows
It falls apart in the air
You look down at your hands
And notice they're bare
You scoop up more handfuls
Only to watch them
Break into shambles
You try to hit it
And pack it to the floor
But everytime you smack it
It just breaks apart more
Love is not the boulder or pebble
It can not be measured
To any level
So be careful when you answer the door
When Love does knock
Its not always there
Unlike the rock
It's not limestone, quartz, or granit
It doesn't last forever
So never take it for granted

I just wanted you to see...
I never tried to hide it...
The hatred I held within me...
And now you throwing a fit...
I knew this would happen...
As soon as you found out my secret...
The not so secretive hatred...
Within my heart and mind I held it...
And now you know and you have found out...
And you despize me...
And now you know what my poetry is about...
And I'm glad you see...
Me for me...
And my hate for you...
If only you knew...
How large it is...
It has engulfed my mind and my spirit...
And now all I have is this...
This love, a wonderous love...
But love not for you...
Oh God not you...
Love just for her...
You never knew...
But now you know...
Because I never tried to hide...
My hatred for you...
Now that you know...
YOU hurt inside...
And I love your ignorence...
But the truth is...
Yor ignorence is bliss...
And Its that bliss...
That I will miss...
As I stand with her...
Laughing in the mist...

It is ironically funny,
that in the land of milk and honey I pray for two shots of whiskey.
Tell the devil come and get me,
but, I'm not going gently.
I never met a single sorrow that I was able to drown,
yet, never had a wrong up that I couldn’t write down.
So even though my demons keep following me around,
they don’t talk to me now, they don’t even make sound.
They just lick their lips and then they look at me and grin
while I'm gripping this pen like, I'm never getting it again.
It is almost as if they think I'm writing it for them.
But why would I want to play a game that no one gets to win?
I would like to welcome you to my mind; but I'm out of it.
How is it I'm proud of it and still not powerless?
It's simple, my prowess is not made of counterfeits.
And now it gets people to keep openly noticing the potency of the flow in me is known to be overly, thought provokingly, and notably infectious.
My poetry is restless, so, just knowing me is reckless.