Often I look to the water
And I do not see my reflection anymore,
The surface ripples in the breeze
Allowing me to know something’s underneath,

Even when distorted
I see him daring me to take the forfeit,
I continue to search
For what it submerged,

But all I see is him. Blue eyes
Staring at me, tempting me to break,
The pain is bundled inside of me
Like the dark secrets of this lake,

The moments I shared with him
Start to seep out the cracks,
Trickling out of my eye
Like a rusty leaking tap,

A leaf stirs the water
And I cannot see his eyes anymore,
My frustration rattles like a breeze
Until my true despair scuttles back underneath.

Is found in your arms,            
                                  calm me down,
                                  calm me down,

Quiet solitude in your arms
Makes the voices stop,
Makes the hurting stop
                       momentarily
                                relieve me of the pain...

Help me to be stronger
               (maybe -
                             I have not yet decided      
          if being stronger will be worth it again...)

But in the meantime,
Quiet solitude        
                      in your arms  
      Makes the world

              ~STOP~

((And I remember how to breathe))

Brilliant, your fury touches briefly
upon my sunburned shoulders -
one last caress, one last

violent

kiss; and then, in a blaze
of light and color you slip gently
behind the clouds and

I

shiver in the sudden
cold left in
your absence.

(sunkissed)

Stuck in a car
Each seat full
Music blasting in my ears
My attempt at drowning
Their cheerful words
And irritating laughs
The world moves on by
While they talk aimlessly
Smothering me in smiles
I stare at the road
Wishing to touch it
Then then say his name.
I'm no longer suffocating
I feel naked. Vulnerable. Exposed.
They throw his name back and forth
Battering me
The music stops.
The car stops.
The world stops.
I jump out leaving them behind
With his name
Still swirling  round and round

They ask me what I see,
What I see when I'm dreaming,
What I see when I'm listening,
What I see when I'm writing,
But I don't see; I understand,

I understand how minds work,
I understand how hearts work,
I understand how my world works,
But I don't understand them.

Why can't people accept it?
Why do they need to know why?
Why do they want to know?
But they don't want to know why; they want to know what.

If I see their futures,
If I see the dead,
If I see words before me,
But I don't see; I understand.

So when they ask, what do I see in you?
I don't reply. I smile,
Because when I dream,
And I listen,
And I write,
You know what I see?
What I've always seen:
You.

The frustration you get
When you wake up in the middle of the night
And can't fall back to sleep.

You look at the clock,
Hoping,
It'll soon be time to get up.
But then you realize
It's not even near that time.

It's like the sun knows when you're awake and,
Just to be a ******,
Takes its time coming up.

So you lie there...
Trying to get some rest.
You squirm and change positions,
But still...
Nothing happens.

You begin to think about
Your life,
Your future,
The world,
Everything...

Then, all the bad thoughts become worse.
You think...
Maybe something might happen,
Or something may already have happened.

You try harder to fall asleep,
But you can't stop.
Can't stop thinking.
And you feel...
Upset...
Overwhelmed...
And you can do nothing
to stop all the horrible thoughts from coming through.

Then you're at the stage where now,
Your thoughts aren't coming in patterns anymore.
They scatter...
Like a nebula.

So you lie there.
You've given up.
You feel hopeless...
Like no one could ever help you.
So you just wait...
Wait for everything to be over.

I dance about the pub, gliding-
To tell you true,
my only wish
was to sway with you.

We walked through the big blue door
into the cool night air,
bewitched by the music and the moon,
and the crisp smell of a spring rain.

You looked past me-
with sad eyes-
past the empty squares,
past the lovers in the alleyways,
past the dreamers at the balconies,
your eyes
betwixt and between
loathing and loving.

By the light of the moon
our duet changed keys,
you stepped closer to see

This is nice.

if holding onto me
like the sea hugs the shore

I like walking with you.

would bring you to the place
you had been looking for.

*Me too.