And how can you ask for less
Than all of me
and
how can I give you all
When I don’t even find it myself

This shattered home inside of me
that I in desperation tore apart
Stomped to pieces
Wrecked out of me
Out
Out
Out
left nails and wood and pieces of furnitures
(like his bed when he lies awake, lost and torn apart)
And I keep bumping into them
Keep stepping on sharp edges
Making me lose my breath,
my balance
My way
And I don’t know how to get them out


And how am I supposed to build a home
with you
when I’m already full
of broken wood
of the last inherent

I cannot keep going back
to see if he still lives there
In my heart