It's 1 o'clock in the morning
and I'm not lonely.
I don't crave the touch of someone
that decided they don't want me,
nor the affection of someone
that probably doesn't know my last name.
I don't long for a warm body
to lay beside,
it's hot as **** in here anyway.
I'm texting boys
that I want nothing from
and I don't care what they want from me.

It's 1 o'clock in the morning
and I'm not lonely,
so why am I so ******* sad?

I told a boy to go pray today,
and maybe his bad luck is God's way
of saying he needs to get his *** to church.
He grinned
and asked to go with me.

I want to experience
everything.
I want to
live
every life I can.
I just don't know
how.

I deleted your contact in my phone.
I won't get notifications if you message me on Facebook.
I may still know your number,
but I'm not answering if you call.

You admitted you don't want me
and I refuse to to get hurt again
when you change your mind
*again.

A year ago
you kissed me under the fireworks.
I chainsmoked
way too many cigarettes,
you complained of me tasting
like smokey mints.

Now I'm chain smoking
way too many cigarettes,
praying you'll text me back,
praying you'll see me tonight.

We can get drunk, if you want.
I won't complain about cheap beer.
You can get high, if you want.
I won't complain.

Just text me back.
Just see me.
Just tell me that you'd still love me
and I'm not wasting my time
again.