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anna victoria Aug 2014
alcohol was my only escape.
you ruined that too.
i can't even forget without remembering now.
i hate you.
anna victoria Aug 2014
Like a broken arrow, i stray.
Like a loyal dog, you stay.
All the times I'm gone,
You know I'll come home.
You believe in me.
You always,
believe in me.
thank you.
anna victoria Aug 2014
why would you break someone, to cause pain? is there really anything for you to ******* gain? day in, day out all i can feel is your mouth and your touch and your sound and it hurts. it really ******* hurts that after everything all you can do is to rip me out of your  life and pretend that it never happened. you were the only person i've ever loved romantically. other boys paled in comparison, you were all i could see. the boy friend i had while you decided we needed a (2 year) break, he couldn't have made me love him because he couldn't be you. its always been you. and as soon as you were ready again what did i do? i left that boy as soon as i could and came back to you. he knew there was no one for me but you. here i am 3 years later, in my bed writing this **** over a boy who couldn't love me more than he loved himself. where are you now? i've seen you talking to new girls. younger girls, prettier girls, skinnier girls, better girls. but there's still this hope that you're going to message me one day and tell me you miss me and that you need to see me. and here's hoping that if that day comes, i'll be strong enough to tell you no. and to let you know that no matter what you say, this time i won't be pulled back in. and i will never be made to feel worthless again. but, if that day never comes, i'll be here. waiting, probably wanting you. like always. i miss you. but i can't do this to myself anymore.
i don't claim to have any talent i just didn't know where else i could put my feelings without judgement.
anna victoria Aug 2014
Patience.
Something I had to have with you.
Three years.
1095 Days.
Agonizing.
Pain.
You.
You.
You.
All I could think about.
All day, Everyday
Three years.
1095 Days.
You.
Always You.
anna victoria Aug 2014
please dear god, if you're up there, help me.
help me out of this hole.
i can't take this anymore.
i need you.
i need help.
anna victoria Aug 2014
To know the pain is the most beautiful curse.
I have seen it everyday.
In the mirror.
In the glass.
In the windows that I pass.
To feel the pain is the most wonderful curse.
I have never hated someone so much.
I see her everyday.
In the mirror.
In the glass.
In the windows that I pass.
To see the pain is the most perfect curse.  
I have never wanted something so bad.
I see it everyday.
In the mirror.
In the glass.
In the windows that I pass.
To taste the pain is the most excellent curse.
I have worked for this.
I see it everyday.
In the mirror.
In the glass.
In the windows that I pass.
To hear their pain is the most horrible curse.
I never meant for this to happen.
I don't see her anymore.
Not in the mirror.
Not in the glass.
Not in the windows I don't pass.
To be in pain is a curse, but to feel nothing is even worse.
anna victoria Aug 2014
if i am a puddle, then you are the rain.
if i am a scar, then you are the pain.
if i am a wave, then you are the hurricane.
if i am a bagel, then you are the grain.
in the cheesiest way, i'm trying to say, i needed you to become myself.
i love you.
anna victoria Aug 2014
The night you took it, we were drunk off our *****.
It was a mistake. I should have never trusted you.
It was the best night of my life, and the worst.
I regret it, or maybe I'm just upset that you never called.
For you it was just ***.
For me, it was my first.
18 year build up.
You made me feel special and good.
All night. All day. Nonstop.
Joking. Laughing. Kissing. Cuddling.
You took a picture on my phone,
You said I was the most beautiful girl.
Shouldn't have listened.
All the things you said,
Been running through my head.
Can't stop thinking of you.
How can I miss someone I barely know?
I don't know.
I don't know anything.
I thought you would call.
You never did.
Now all I can think about,
are all my imperfections
That would make you not want me.

— The End —