a couple days ago
i tried to **** myself
by ingesting a handful of
different pretty pills
in the hopes
they'd make me
a pretty corpse
i thought maybe
they'd plant roots
in my stomach
and grow flowers
out of my eye sockets
but then i realized
those pretty pills
would ****
not only me
but the ones who already
saw flowers growing
in the darkest parts
of me

Im sick of drowning out everything on my pages and blotting out everything in my mind and leaving ink stains on my finger tips because I can not come to force myself not to be with you.
Im tired of writinglove poems and verses.
Thats not what I've beenfor.
Im one for deep thought provoking sentences that rip at your own exsitance until you begin to comprehend its ice bruge meaning.
I don't want to be this way about you.
I dont want you to be in my dreams.
Because my dreams have a funny way of turning into nightmares at the happiest moment.

I've fallen for you so many times I've lost count.
Everytime you call me girlie.
Everytime you brush my pinky because you want me to fill the empty space between your fingers.
When you call me an idoit for being overly romantic.
When you ask to see my wrist to ensure that there are no fresh wounds.
When you talk about how your perfect futrue would include me.
When you tilt your head and show that toothy grin I love so much.
I fall for you again.

That I adore you?
That you amaze me?
That you drive me crazy?
That you push my limits?
That you're beautiful?
That I don't know what I'd do without you?

That I love you?

In case I haven't,
I adore you.
You amaze me.
You drive me crazy.
You push my limits.
You're beautiful.
I don't know what I would do with out you.

I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.

Let’s lay down and you can hold my hand forever.
Let’s close our eyes and imagine a world together.
You can kiss me on the street of a familiar neighborhood.
You can hug me at your building without wondering if you should.
And I’ll dance with you in a beautiful white dress.
I’ll lose myself in your eyes and you’ll lose all that stress.
You’ll be with me. Who cares who sees?
We’ll shout our love from the tops of trees.
We’ll be completely devoted, no lies anymore.
We’ll kiss openly on the crowded dance floor.
Don’t open your eyes. Please, let’s just stay.
Let’s lay down and wait for that day.

To think that I send sparks flying through you,
To think that I leave you speechless,
To think that I leave you with a burning flame in your eyes,
I can't fathom the notion.
The idea that I make you smile the grin I adore.
The thought that I make you blush the gorgeous pink shade I see.
I just can not picture some one like me, being a source of happiness For a beauty like you.

I'm so curious as to what an amazing person such as Jessica White has to say about a supposed light in your eyes I give you when I'm next to you or you're talking about me.