Ocean skies
In your eyes
Reflected upside down
Me, a clown
Big red nose
Pacing the rows
Counting up all the things
Make my soul sting
Do you like me or are you just desperate?
Maybe a little of both.
Can you keep this oath?
Only if Art agrees.

She knew
It would be good
as she stood
under a sky more colorful than blue.
As she stood
on a threshold of something
that smelled like the silk and satin
he had slept on just the night before,
She hoped for more
than red lights flashing,
than hearts surrounded by fences.
But, she only heard the mashing
of sweetened heartstrings not fully cooked.
If only she had looked
for something more than a cookbook.

Sinking
To a familiar imprint in the sand
Salt traffic jams
Shark teeth and flared nostrils
Fingers numb
Curled around the trigger
Cannot let go.

But through the noise
Ripples
Quadratic equations
I see a blurred sunset
It feels like the day we first met.

Harp strings.
Heart stings.
Start things.
He sings.
Phone rings.
Rungs
on a ladder leading up,
Up,
Up, and away.
Say,
Why the ****
am I not enough?
No, just terrible, terrible luck.

Mist and color
Sparkle
Mountains climbed
Slowly and then quickly
And it does remind
You to go but stay
Whispering still
Say everything again
You match the hills
Blood on your arm
It kills.

All this destruction
Is an unaffordable construction
Of an escape door.
Sometime simple, sometimes more.
What did I want?
What did he want?
They say people are better than objects
I think not

She walked away,
but looked back with a wink.
I sat there on a bench,
watching,
thinking about
how she just left--
To ride roller coasters
And drink tequila
And not be alone.

White satin sand,
an expanding black sea,
calloused hand,
all stark against the lonely view of galaxies.

This is the moon beach.
Where I build them rafts
and, just to teach
me a lesson, they take them away.

Since I stopped making
rafts
there is nothing left for the taking.
Which someone once said is the definition of Perfection.

Split down the center
insides glow
on skin anew
away it all flew
that day
I saw a dove
making me believe
in love.

Oblivion should be a disease
Water vapor and antifreeze
Pool on the inside of my chest.
Do what's best
Not what's healthy;
Around everyone, be stealthy;
Build a metal barricade:
Mantras like a blaring cannonade
Teach me what it smells like to never listen
The only thing I wish had stayed
Was your smile, a glimmering glisten

Scratch out words I meant to say
beneath the dark
standing stark
a thin veneer of your
fine fingers
your flesh
and your bones
Just tell me one thing:
Do you
oh
do you
still sting?

Brown-eyed eraser
Subtract scars, blurry
Hurry up, you gotta chase her
Stand straight over the river bluff
Reach a toe to touch
A cloud, a puff
Of smoke from dragons underneath
A sword unsheathed
I'll tell you if I'll let me
Count it down
One, two, three

Is it ever hard to breath
in the fog,
or the starlight?

Is it ever hard to heave
this bundle off your back?

Is it ever hard to leave
fate behind;
to leave
all the paper
stamped and signed?

Is it easy to drop
the pencil?
To "make it pop"
or match the drapes?

Is it easy to stop
and see how hard it is to breath?

Drifting in and out
Flailing looks like flying
In your eyes
Try on different selves
Meet them one-by-one
Say goodbye

The only constant

Winter stalks the sunset
As night preys upon the light
Hunched and cold
Watching you sail from the shore.
And I grow old
Waiting for your return

Drip Drop Pop
Open close
Unrip the closet door
Hinge
And cringe at the thought of more
Starving artist, so poor

Drip Drop Flop
Close open
The mess is in a frame
Real
And feel the dream that never came
Paint brush becomes lame

Drip Drop Mop
Up the tears
Fringe
On the end of your jacket that I see in the mirrors
Losing, failing my biggest fears

Drip Drops
Flow down the petals of your face

He was a mid life crisis
Wrapped in black velvet:
A curtained tunnel
Of scarcity
the drive to create it.
I was a placeholder
A magazine while you wait
Your diploma comes in the mail
Marketing copy in Latin.
The only thing you fear
Is the weight of your own sound
Resounding:
An invisible fist
Beating a drum,
The one your rib cage locks away.
Soundless.

I use my pennies to buy experiences
Like your smile
The smell of your skin
Fresh and real
For those I steal
Lie
And cheat
A drug to beat
Another drug
To beat the need for drugs.

Jars on a shelf
Break upon earthquake
Screams through the house
Glass on the floor, douse
The fire I set
On the day we first met
I pull out everything good
Try to save it all
What do you call
A pile of should
Vanished good?
Cross you heart
And hope to die
Please, I beg you,
Stick a needle in my eye.

A sharp mind dulled
While I run
From the dark death undertows.
Pulling from unseen roses, a gun,
And fragile bullets, columns, rows.
Truly no escape
From a serpent, Eden, and apples.

Tangled web
Weave stronger somehow
Biting the bullet
Kills you anyway

Full spectrum color -
A tangled web
Beautiful

Razor sharp electricity of eyes
Gaze through me
I want to evaporate
I want to linger a little
Spider approaching
Settle.

There are rocks
With your finger prints on them

There are places
With the color of your eyes
Burning them down

There are memories
I wanted to last forever

There is pain
In the end of a needle
Just as there is love
In all people

There is a body
With your name
Your finger prints
Your colors
But no you.

My hands aren't long enough
To reach inside your head
Between the bed
And hands before
Not lucky enough for more
Poor, stupid girl
Sitting with that empty chair
I long to fill.
What happened?
We miss the severed valves
Of our hearts and calves
Of our carts.
We go to the market
with nothing to sell.

is empty
echo
stacco
on the walls
through the halls
we run
and ride
bikes
hikes
we planned but never did
parents put the lid
on our dreams and thoughts
now the cots
and pots
are set up on the floor
I just want you more
with jelly jello jiggling right to my core
pour
pouring
rain
raining
training yourself
to starve a little more
more
ore
or
oranges stacked
stupidly packed
all the dishes are broken
and here is this ****** token
to replace the love I could never give you
here is your cue
to take all you have and leave
leave
leave
leaving
you are always just leaving
leaves are always just leaving
and thieves are always just coming
cuming
on my nose
pose
hose down you hopes
its only about how she copes
mopes
mops
and brooms
scattered in rooms
overlooking gray grass and blooms
and the wind blows the petals hard
card
signed only with your name
I don’t blame
you or her for preferring
your and hers second chance
dance
dance
dancing
in the empty house echoing.

Why not engineer all the mistakes away?
We could evolve into machines.
Then there wouldn't be cells
To proliferate
Uncontrollably.
There wouldn't be thoughts
Only wires.
I wouldn't end up at your door.
I wouldn't care
About the valleys,
Mountain ranges,
That your white cotton shirt stretches over.
We could be ones and zeroes-
A code for no heartbreak.

Cutting up wood
Smells sweet
Smoky
Sawdust falling like snow
The foul vinegar of decay
Starts on its work
Chewing at the arsenic
Right from the moment of creation
Destruction sets in.

Clouds cover the sun
As it rises over waves; as I run
Away from actions
Dictated by fears, and false fractions
Of heart and understanding.
Slowly burning pink, demanding
The attention of crowds,
the sun escapes the clouds.

Eyelids pinned back,
Lack of sleep I let
my arms keep track
Of the time.
As skin cells fold over,
I leave some on your collar
They used to be dashes, slashes,
Eye lashes and spicy mashes.
I watch you turn around
With an epiphany found:
There is no life span to your well wishes,

We are all just dead fishes.

A magnetic torrent
Metal fingernails
Sharpened
Scrape
Scar
Splatter
Gray matter
Matters to me
Maybe not to you
Two windows closed
Posed a threat I can't describe.
Tribe of spiders spinning webs
Shreds of evidence
Laid out for you to see

Why do you wonder about why?
Reasons heavy on top of my
Body. Like lead bullets poison
Soil turning black
Magnetic torrent
A wind slams me into your door.

A map to treasure
An "X" perched sullen and unreachable,
Unchangeable
Immutable
Inedible
Intangible
In caves, dark
Scrawling crawling up my sclera
To blind
To bind
With direction more lethal
With words less lustrous:
Like diamonds
equaling crushed ice.
All this, a trick in the eye.

A daisy chain
grazes scars lined up like dominos
I long to tip forward
a collapse upon collapse
a tumble down a long hill
down a long eyelash in the wind
your ebb
flow
weave
for this I heave
the mountains and streams aside

What closes her eyes
Even when they are open?
Loss.
A life at cost
To him or them or you.

There isn't enough
sunlight to keep
the plants alive.
Thus, fake sunlight
bathing a fake "I love you",
keeping it alive
because leaves can't tell the difference
between me on the pills
and me off the pills.
Now my finger
fingers the on-off switch.

A lighted grid,
bleeding orange beams
and black rivers,
gazes up
confusing a steel bird
for a shooting star
wishes made
and regretted
burned in the stratosphere
of the folds in your mind
and the flatline of your heart.

Broken strings
Unplugged wires
Unleashed monsters
Unhinged imagination
I make this, you, a creation
Do you see a resemblance?
I don't.
I care too much
You don't.
The only rule
Avoid the action
Reaction,
Traction
What is left of me?
Merely a fraction.

All the girls dress
to ****.
So do I but in a far less
pleasurable way.
Holding perfectly still.
Hey, maybe you'll stay.

All the girls are in high heels.
I stopped wearing them
On the same day I quit caring if
I was the right kind of *****.

Shimmery sparkles, clean lace,
Silk, and leather
Weave them in a quivering case
Create their invisible tether.

Whiskey and wine
Bubbling up
Numbing up
Coming right up!
Girls dress to ****
And they will.

Came out of hiding
Salt shaker bliss riding
110 miles per hour
Converge
upon another; a surge
of hope is now upheaving
leaving grieving behind.

Grind up heart strings,
rings, and things
A powder to keep
A foul and wondrous leap
only to help
rungs like tongues
spit curses
to keep us in place.

We keep a pace:
a slow unraveling
of the road we are traveling.
Chasing heart breaks
is all it takes.
Salt shaker bliss
riding 110 miles per hour,
we did everything in our power
but still it was a hit or miss.

Run away with you
To you
Through you
I'm invisible

Down a tunnel
Light as a feather
But, oh, you stick to me so
Think about whether
You could love me as
I do
You.
You
The gold of every sunrise
You
The reason I live
And the reason I die

Careless head
filled with oblivion
and red.
Sun and snow
feel the same.
If I could only know
things are just things.
Bread and butter
fly wings
feel the same.
If I could only know
how to strangle
and untangle
my bleached skull.

File folder mind
Pulled loose. Tossed around.
Paper flutters like birds and clouds
Slow decent
Into madness
I never chose
Even though the Buddhists say otherwise
I watch it all settle around me
Blood and mud stains
Never stayed in the lines

Burned my last box of food
Burned black by solitude
Fortitude is as famous as me
Pity, that was my last goodbye
Lie or tell the truth
Give me some kind of proof
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
I played with fire
I played with trust.

Take secrets
Sprint out the door
Burglar alarm malfunction
Wrong turn at a junction

Machetes cut a new path
Do the math
It isn't that hard
To draw the right card
I throw in rhymes
So maybe you'll listen sometimes.

All these things happened
I try to piece them together
To answer: why can't I find a single feather?

Step closer
An inch away
Wanting to die
And wanting to stay
I can choose to love
Or to lie

I waver as a flag
Flat and colorless

I am a wooden floor
An ant under the table
Black speck
I am a second choice
Place holder
A paint swatch match
Just a little too blue.
I have become a tiger
Fierce teeth bared
Stripes up and down
And I love you
Even as you tell me
I am a wooden floor.

Fourteen tolerance
With reminiscence
As the side of a sharpened blade
I don't know but I made
A reason
Because pleasure isn't enough
Smooth feels rough
Ragged ranges
Of pitch
Black to blacker
Pink to red
I long to understand human pains
Because nothing else remains
I long understand human blood
And the way it resembles mud.

First choice, that's you
A sugar-coated reply
Ending in delete.

My head is a sea
of gasoline.
It smells strongly
of travel and
it smells slightly
like the breath I was able to take
when dad got out of the car.
Fill 'er up.

This arm
on this clock
is a match
hovering over me
a plume of fume
rising up to hug the flame
and ignite my life
turning to a simple scheme
of color and strife.

Then, I'm a pile of rubble
because this machine sea blew.
Where will I sleep now?

I'm trying to fix you.
You stupid girl
You sloppy girl
You glass girl
Knocked from the table edge.
You broken girl
Now just pieces
Getting smaller
Ground down under his boot
Soot
Blow
In his nose
Through his veins
Then
Into his brain.
How can I fix you now?

Here is this voice
it is just a whisper
would you turn your head
to lean in closer?

Imagination says
there is a space
where I am not a chore,
and a place
where I am not cold anymore

Reality says
there is an abyss,
where I am a water glass
that can't feel a kiss
as you turn your head
what did you miss?

Half asleep during the day
Half awake at night
I am an empty glass bottle
On the vast, dark sea
Hurricane coming full throttle
At little me
And I'm on to your trickery
Half asleep or half awake
I can't tell if this is real or fake.

He was a one-liner
Better and finer
Than all the stuff on my bed post
What feels like this the most?
Burning and slicing.
Taking my arm and dicing
Out what is trapped there.
If I take a glance, I'll stare.
Not a single glare
Through this glass, reflects.
Slimy licks become defects
And my finger prints gouge the glass
Take a pass
At me
Because I'll never be free.

Glue comes out too fast
But not at the right angle
Adhesion unburdened
Learned it
From living just second-by-second
Was the reason ever reckoned?
I don't remember.
It was in late December
When I opened my eyes
Covered in glue
Still not dry, realizing:
The glue comes out too fast
And never seems to last.