Now that I look back
A feeling of daunting realisation sinks my stomach
Every incident you've ever told me about
I no longer see you as the victim
I wonder why I had so much sympathy
Now that you've done to me what you did to them
I think
Maybe it was you all along
Maybe you were the chaos
But I took you in my arms
Comforted you
And soothed your arrogance
Mistaking it for hurt

So who is the one at fault?
Now that I think about it
I was wrong about you all along

shot in the eye
shot in the brain
shot in the ***
shot like a flower in the dance

amazing how death wins hands down
amazing how much credence is given to idiot forms of life

amazing how laughter has been drowned out
amazing how viciousness is such a constant

I must soon declare my own war on their war
I must hold to my last piece of ground
I must protect the small space I have made that has allowed me life

my life not their death
my death not their death...

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.

inspiration comes from everywhere
in our hearts
in our dreams
in our hopes
in ourselves
in our surroundings
people we meet
people we love
people we lose
people we loath
people we seek
places where we've been
places where we've never been
places  where we've seen
places where are hidden
places where are shown
emotions we have
sadness
anger
happiness
love
guilt
inspiration can come from within
inspiration can come from an exterior source
but we will always find inspiration in anything we're given
its one of few things that can never be taken.

1:00 a.m., The rhythm of the world has changed within
my soul.  I can feel the beat of the breeze streaming
so serenely beside me.  The beautiful blue seas shimmer
in my sight.  The tender trees and leaves dance to the upbeat
songs playing in my cells.  There is magic and passion
within me that has awakened my existence, a rapture of love
igniting bright dreams in my mind.  I sparkle like the sunlight,
a masterpiece of poetry creating great imagination in the landscape.