It would really be nice if you could answer this question:

What's your definition of happiness?

Alam ko iisang buwan ang tinitignan natin
Isang bathala pinaniniwalaan natin
Isang hiling ang ninanais natin
Isang hangin ang sinisinghap natin

Ngutin kahit anong aking gawin
Kahit ako man ay humiling sa bituin
Kahit iisang buwan lang ang meron saatin
Di parin magiging isa ang puso natin

I am not her, I am me
I am just someone who wants to be alone
but you constantly fill me up with task that you,
yes you were suppose to do.
I say "okay" even if it's not, i say "i'm fine" even though
I am not, for I don't want you to feel this burden,
this big heavy thing that i'm carrying on my back
I want you to feel a little less pressured,
for all I know you might be handling something
at that very moment. I hope you are doing well
that's what I want you to know. I'll be doing okay
as long as you do the same.
But i  cant take it anymore the thing in my back
it's heavy, it's pulling me down, it's torturing me.
I can't be that someone anymore, because in
the first place I was never that someone you expect me to be.

When I look at you I do get butterflies
And it makes me want to soar high
Yes when in front of you I do get shy
But trust me I like you and that's no lie

Friends say that I have no shame
Cause I can't stop talking about you i cant contain
Hoping that you feel the same
Cause my feelings for you oh my I can't tame

I think about you frequently...

Wait why?
Why would I try
Even if I know you'll never be mine

Please don't tell me
You can save the world

If you can't even catch
My heart from falling for you

It's showering then suddenly it's raining
No matter how much i scream you wouldn't hear me
It's loud, it's too loud
I kept calling your name yet you still wouldn't hear me
I cried and cried and cried
But you wouldn't see tears, all you see is rain pouring on me
Im soaking wet in this rain, i hope thunder would hit me
Coldness overtakes my body, yet still i want to see you
See you leaving me, leaving our memories
I shouted "i love you"
But all you heard was rain pouring all over you
I felt devastated
I looked at you for the last time and you turned around
And you mouthed "I shouldn't have loved you"
I thought thunder had struck me
Your word were the heaviest rain i felt
It's showering then suddenly its raining
All i could hear was your words pouring on me
I felt sick, i felt disgusted with myself
I shouldn't have loved you
It's raining then it suddenly stopped
I shouted i love you
But you weren't there anymore
The skies cried with me
The skies were there for me but what i really want is
You right here next to me
The rain finally stopped
You were the heaviest rain i felt

why don't you try
to look through?
the things that make you, you.

If I could,
I would kiss you in every corner of the world.
But I'd rather,
Kiss you in every corner of your body.

The sound of the rain.
The sadness that it sings.
The cold that it brings.
It's so mesmerizing,
But it has me shivering

Let me dance through it's sadness.
Let me feel it's beauty.
Let me soak in it's mystery.
Maybe then I'll understand,
The rain's familiarity.

Whenever I look into your deep brown eyes there would be this glint of familiarity that makes me feel at home.
I found comfort in your words and love in your actions, and I adored every single moment of it.
But the inside has never been shown, nor should it ever be brought out.
I can never tell you how I feel, and you can never know.
Because if you did, those eyes that always looked at me intently, those sweet words you say covered with honey, will all fade away.
Then the day came when you knew. I felt embarrassed, I wanted to run away, I was scared. Everything was crumbling down.
Then you smiled at me, you knew but you were still kind to me. And I was grateful for that.
But your eyes avoided mine, your word were short and precise, your actions were stiff, but you were still kind.
And I'm okay with that.
I'll be okay.
Then I heard you had someone you liked, I thought to myself I can never do that.
I can never make your heart beat for me, like it does for her. I can never make you smile so widely. I can never be anything special to you.
But it's okay because I know we weren't just meant to be and that there is someone out there looking at the same sky waiting for me.
Thank you because there did came a time when you were an inspiration but now you were just a part of my greatest imagination.

When I saw you reality struck me like thunder meets metal, what was i thinking!?
I knew this would happen
But I still took the risk

I looked directly into those eyes
Hoping that I could see a glint of hope
But all i saw was disgust

By then I knew
I should've just been a friend to you too.

Take me to a library
Where I can read your eyes,
Where I can understand your thoughts,
Where I can scan all your words,
And decipher all your codes .

Take me to a garden
Where I can watch you grow,
Where I can sprinkle you with love,
Where i can fertilize you with appreciation,
And let the sun shine greatness in you.

Take me anywhere
As long as my hand are intertwined with yours.

I always wished I was a pretty as the flowers that pass you by,
But even if I was a flower
You wouldn't even spare me a glance.
I can never be the dandelion you hold in your hands,
Nor can I be the tulips that's near your lips
And you'll never look at me so intensely like those lovely lilacs you stare at.
Because I am simply not the one your heart desires.
Even if all my leaves wilt, you'll never water me with your love.
But my dear I'll stay right here
And bloom, bloom as if you'll finally pick me.




Yes. You'll bloom in your own way
But I will never pick u
Regardless of how you magnificently bloom
I would still choose the lilies, lilacs and tulips beside you
I will never pick you. Never.
I will never pick you, because I don't want your roots to be ruined
I will never pick you, cause I don't want you to stop from growing
I don't want to pick you just for me to fall in with  love you
Because, I love you, that's why I chose you
To grow in my ray of sunshine,
by my presence through the wind.
For I am the gardener who doesn't want you to be pick
Because if ever I did , how will I water you with my love with creativity?
That's why I will not pick you, not because I can't
But because I wanna grow old you and never let you wilt.

I found comfort in keeping every single hurt and joy and burden that i got used to it without even realizing how much scars I've made to myself, yet i blame others, telling people how they broke my heart or how they slashed me with their words. Until I understood that the  person who had hurt me the most was myself, i get to have the choices , i was the one who broke my heart, I put my own expectations to someone who should be happy with who they are, i got the choice to be hurt by their words, I chose to be molded by the rumors that i know isn't true. But I'll never know why day by day i hurt my self with standards that I should be upholding, comparing myself to someone I cannot be. Why can't I accept the fact that I am different , others can't be me and I can't  be them. Why must i always be self conscious and ostracized myself from people who are welcoming me with open arms, slapping myself with the truth seems to be not enough. I just constantly drift away with these thoughts hoping that may be one day I'll know why.

You are the water and the clouds,
You are the sun and the stars,
You are the planets and space and time.

You are in everything that gives me life.