The rain it trickles down my window
beating on the ***** street
making puddles , and the children splash them with their feet
I sit back and watch
my eyes like the clouds
my cheeks like those streets
my pillow that puddle
but no child here to play
that one missing piece for the perfect rainy day
a mocking of nature ,though the meaning is different
The rain it cleanses and renews
Those tears release the trapped up blues
I wonder to myself , will there every come a day
when I will once again have a sunny day
Eyes sparkling with love for life
the laughter of that child who dwells inside
the beam of a smile that could light up the night
One tear of happiness, to show gratitude to the light

I try to look within myself
afraid of what I'll find

Sometimes so much anger
I feel I am a danger

Sometimes so much love
I fear I will drown

Often so much numbness
Do I actually exist

Often so dreamy
like a child with a wish

I see my reflection
so blank, so bare

A face in the mirror
with so many masks to wear

I have the torso of a human
and fittingly a horses ***
I am brutely honest, always
putting my foot in my mouth
I do not wish to lead you
and yet I will not follow
I can be a little silly
An optimistic to a fault
I view life through rose tinted glasses
that are tinted by my heart
All of this , I embrace with pride
It makes me who I am
I am not perfect
And would not choose to be
I am happy being saggitarius
I am content with being me

I plunge my fist into my chest
into the heart that lays at rest
Pulling out the darkness that has consumed it
It's tar like subtance reeking of hell's pit

Leaving a big empty hole that needs to be filled
With love so true until it is healed

Now if only to cleanse the soul
but it's so hard to catch
Floating around within me
like a ghost
For to my soul I am the intrigued host

I've always heard silence is golden
but, what if your voice is stolen
Is it then as precious as gold
or is it more like steel bars bitter and cold

I've always been told the grass isn't greener on the other side
sometimes I wonder and sometimes I think they lied

I have heard on the wind, you reep what you soe
I ponder this as I weep for a foe

All these expressions , these old wise tales
They try to nutshell the human nature
All that we fail and all that we hail

I believe life is short
we must set sail , we must leave port
Explore the relm on which we grace
Hand in hand and face to face

Love all that you hold dear
cherish every hug and every tear
Never ...ever live in fear

Always follow your heart,
but let your mind co-pilot
Hold on to your pride
but keep it in your pocket
Live your dreams
but,don't dream your life

Your life is a vessel upon a vast sea
Do you want to be the sail that guides your way
or continue being the anchor that holds you down today.......

The soul can not be tamed
it's fire can not be extinguished
It can be weakened
It can be hidden
It can not be stolen
but it can be given
Though it never truly departs
from were it began
Always it is searching
through the passages of man
Always absorbing knowledge
from the encounters of the heart
Always adding insight
to the unconscious mind
Never ending it's quest
to complete it's self

The silence in your eyes
the peace within your breath
Like a camp fire glowing
against a harvest moon
you drawl me in
and make me feel at home

The gentle depth of your voice
the moments of laughter
like a happy song
you lift me high
to soar through cloud nine
letting me know that I'm not alone

I sometimes think I knew you
in another place in time
For the moment that I met you
I knew that you were kind

Like a sweat dream
you make me feel safe
and some how so free
Yet, sadly there is a barrier
that separates you and me

Perhaps it the familiarity
we as strangers should not know
that separates the reuniting of two
friendly old souls

I cherish you for how ever long you stay
I know I will always remember you this way
and perhaps if in this life our paths shall part
We will meet up again amongst the stars,
remembering each other as we pass through
the sands of time.

The coldness that pleages my fingertips
is slowly creeping to my heart
I dream of sun filled days
longing to catch fireflies in the dark

I lust for the touch of warm sand
as I lay upon the beach
I long for the echos of happy children
riding their bikes amongst the streets

Winter's fridged kiss
seems to numb my senses
I feel as though I don't care as much
That I'm losing my defenses
I need to find a new love
this one to cold to hold

I long for spring to come to town
give me a kiss of hope
melting old winter down
To bring me a bouquet of flowers
and a warm embrace of sun
Heat up the blood that flows so cold
Light up the passion that once was so bold

I lay here in these shambles
an arm's reach from the door
laying in the jagged pieces of my heart
broken stained glass upon the floor

reflections of red speckles
shimmer on the wall
and I breathe a darken breath
as I grasp the taken fall

I wait for the darkness to come
to hide this shattered heart
to take away the dancing red
for night to play it's part

And if you come back
by morning's light
to perhaps repent

You will find not a trace of me
no lovely moments spent

Nor will you find my shattered heart
none of the pain that you had sent

But, if you are so foolish
to find your way here at night
I will be waiting for you
With a venomous bite

I will take away your sun
Take that beaconing light
I will steal your heartbeat
and replace it with insight

The darkness it would like you
embracing that shallow heart.....

Today is a new day
A chance to start again
A dream can become a wish
A wish to become A vision
A vision to become reality

We must take the step
off the cliff of mistakes
to find out if we can fly
to heavenly happiness
or plummit into the hell
of our own existance...

Today I will dream,wish,and invision happiness...
1,2,3 deep breathe and.....step!

I see you in the distance
a face among the crowd

An aura all around you
like the sun shining down

I want to get to know you
so strange this is for me

I tend to shy away and hide
from encounters that could be

Yet, I find myself walking toward you
fearless and aware

That hearbreak could be knocking at my door
and for the first time I don't seem to care

Then you look to me and smile
and I feel myself beam bright

Stranger than fiction
a sweet encounter
of  love at first sight

Thankful.....

I am thankful for the friends I have
few...but good and true

I am thankful for earthly angels
In my life I have two

I am thankful for a family
so close yet far away
For they love me unconditionally
even when I go a stray

I am thankful for the soul
that I possess
and when I see true human
tenderness

I am thankful for this heart and mind
and the ability to leave the darkness behind

I am thankful....

thankful to be free

I am thankful...

thankful to be me

When your appearance lights the room
mesmerize

When I sink into your eyes
hypnotize

When you speak , my heart skips
fantasize

When you leave, my soul sinks
realize

I wake today to the darkest morning
Up before the lazy sun
Sipping coffee, my mind still hazy
Softly arising from the state of dreaming

I am pondering,
wondering
engaging into life
stabbing at reality
with my sharp mental knife

I think to myself if given one gift
what would I want?
Well I tell you it's this.....

I would wish for
A life of peace
A world of hope
A dream to release
A vision to take flight
And a ribbon of love
to wrap it up tight

I would wish that this gift you see
be for everyone to receive
A little present of harmony
That's the gift of my wildest dreams
That's the present we all need it seems.

I see you from a distance
though in front of me you stand
I watch you oh so innocently
reach for my trembling hand

You tell me that it's okay
your voice is like a dream
I stand there just pondering
Is this reality?

You smile and I can't help
but to smile back
we begin to slowly walk
up a foggy path

We come to the top
I realize we've reached the sky
with every light in the universe
glowing I must close my eyes

I wake in the morning
a mist upon the sun
with this thought inside me
Your not quite ready ,
the journey has just begun

I realize there are many things
that I am here to do
I must find out what they are
concur them
and return to you

In the eyes of the child
he is a great king
With knowledge that reaches
beyond our well being

We are the lions
we are the lambs
some proud and some meek
We look to him for guidance
to the path we seek

He is of the sun
the earth
the moon
he is the beam of light
that shines into our darkened rooms

He is there in the heart
where the child still dwells
Unconditional love is the story he tells

Some of us are lions roaring so proud
he gives us the freedom to sing our song loud
Then there are others...so soft and so sweet
gentleness is there way ...the lamb...the meek

He guides
He loves
He is the mystery
and in the end
we will have
the answers
for the questions
we seek

I feel it every morning
in the darkest of night
I see it sparkling in your eyes
The love that never dies
It embraces me
when you hug me
It warms me
when you smile
It saves me everytime
that I am about to fall
The power of love
I can not explain
But I feel it everytime you call my name
MOMMA!!!!

The flowers of my life
the fairies that paint my world
the women who inspire me
when I've given up on the world

Their aura's of many colors
all a beauty in their own way
the present and the past
making a beautful bouquet

I love each and everyone of them
my family and my friends
That touch my soul
and let me know
my heart is where the rainbow ends

Thank you to my flowers
To my beautiful bouquet
Thank you to my fairies
who paint away the grey

I cherish everyone of you
and I think it is time to say
Thank you ..everyone of you
Those in my garden now
and those who's petals have flown away.

Embrace the beauty
inside of you
Share your fragence with pride
Let the magic shine through
The beauty you have inside

When the skys become a golden ray
the leaves all turn...a rainbow display
I welcome this change with open arms
The witch's winds...falls most powerful of charms
complimented by a campfire's warm light
The harvest moon to light up the night

I feel connected
I feel reborn
I love the magic
this season performs

I feel as if I could conquer the earth
It's mystic powers assist in my spiritual rebirth
Nature's most radiant  time
Enchanting my soul
Empowering the rythme

Fickle fortress is her lair
A silent maiden is waiting there
don't misjudge her ,for heavens knows
She need no rescue, she comes from below

You waltz in sword in hand
ready to defend for your a galent young man
you realize not that , this is a trap
better back up,while you have the chance

The room is shaking
the spinning wheel turns
As sinners do
the maiden grins
She takes your hand
and drags you down
She takes all you have
Even your sound

Back to rest
she lays down
until another
fool comes around

The shadows call me to the dark
I hear a cat scream and the big dog bark
It is bright as summer but, cold from the rain
Slowly I unravel ...embrace the insane
You always try to save me
you think I'm going to fall
If you only knew
I dread to hear the call
I walk from within the shadows
and down the lonely block
Hear the birdies singing
watch the lady breathing
Wonder why we are really here at all
You always try to save me
hold me and constrain me
There is no way to tame me
Just let me be myself
And this we will remember
when the storms of this september
shimmer to an ember
And we place it on a shelve
and continue into winter
Holding on and dreaming
of summer's distance embrace
the tint of your sunkissed face
And the shadows that challenge my grace
The darkness that lerks beneath
There can not be a repeat
For there's nothing there to beat
And I will never claim defeat
You always try to save me
Love me and obey me
Take my heart and warm it
Grab my hand and hold it
Don't let go...oh, don't you dare
You know I am here...You know that I care
The shadows they call to me
but, theres no fear I wish you'd see
It's just a place I sometimes go
To toughen the spirit and challange the soul

You say I talk in riddles
That raddle your brain
You think I live an illusion
and border on insane

I say so be it sweetheart
call me what you may
but remember you contribute
to my insanity each and everyday

I am a silly dreamer
a sort of crazy clown
and when you try to trap me
It makes me wear a frown

This you know just won't work
I must be happy , I must be myself
and if I can not in this world built for two
I shall do it alone, in my mind, safe from you

I can't be normal, no matter how I try
and everytime you attept to make me
a little more I die
I am tired of trying,  and realize so true
I don't want to be normal .....I don't want to be you

There once was a girl
that dreamed of a world
without such affliction
there was no addiction
A place safe to play
on a nice sunny day
No need to run in fear
no one was a stranger here

She had this world in her hand
gently she would hold it
But, one day she grew up
and reality broke it

Now she sees the scary faces
and smell the darkness of lonely places
She hold her little ones so dear
clinching them to her chest in fear

She watches with an eagle's eye
all the strangers passing by
As her little ones sit and play
unaware of the darkness that surges
through their world of innocent games...

There once was a girl who loved the world
now she is a woman....and things have changed
She has no faith in the stranger passing by
She knows there might be a wolf lurking inside.

Hunting in the forest of synchronicity
searching for the signs that manifest for me
Watching the stars for a path is  key
trying to unlock the chest of humanity

Attempting to awaken the sleeping mind
discover the gifts ancients left behind
Embracing the power of mankind
Wishing the path to be defined

Into the clearing I stumble and fall
into a spiral of animals shouting the call
I stand in the middle stronge and tall
No longer a puppet, No more a rag doll

I will welcome the power given to me
and use it to set the goodness free
Wrapped in the enlightment I  clearly see
There is much more for me to be

I dream of true love
the kind that always last
I wonder why I was not chosen
Why my youth left me so fast?

Am I destined to be an old maid?
Living without love
Destined to cover the graves
while my loved ones live golden above

Do I really even exist?
Have I ever existed at all?
Or, am I just someone's nightmare
An infestation?
The devil's fare?
An embodiment of nothingness?
The bad end of a double dare?

I hope I wake up soon
I have to find away
to chase away the darkness
to rainbow up my gray
I can not live in sorrow
I can not dwell in pain
I can not wait for sunshine
while I'm drowning in my rain

I finally feel the warmth
the unconditional love
the happiness inside me
that I've been dreaming of
Thank God I didn't give up
Thank God I stuck it through
I  asked him for a sign
Thankfully he sent me two...

You my angel of only two
no longer do you simply coo
For now you  have the love of song
and you love to sing it all day long
and you sing it so softly sweet
with your own timing and beat
twinkle, twinkle
your eyes beam bright
you reach for those stars
and their  twinkling light


How you love to sing
about those diamonds in the sky
and  if I could ,up we would fly
and pluck a star down
just to keep
to light your pillow as
you sleep

Sharing a song is such a good way
to tuck in the heart
and end a long day

So eager you were
for your first day to come
but, watching  you board the bus
I felt myself come undone
But, I held it in on that cloudy day
When my little boy first went away
I won't lie and say I didn't cry
For once I waved you off
with a smile upon my face
blowing you kisses
as the bus took it's pace
I cried all the way to your new school
Yes, sweetheart momma's a senitmental fool
Then off with the tears to greet my little man
Daddy so proud as he took your hand

The teacher lined you all up like tin soldiers in a row
You step out just once..a hug and a kiss and off you did go
Into the school you marched in a line
a little afraid but, you did just fine

My little blue bird had taken his first flight
And all in all he did alright
taking each challenge with an eager embrace
Never losing that smile on his face

And I  take a deep breath
for he's not ready to fly away ....
I save that fear for another day
For each day he returns to us
with something bright and new
Telling us eagerly
of the new things he can do..

Your always trying to sneak a peak
through my wall, built for defense
You've tried to climb it
but you failed
You tried to dig beneath
but unfortunately it was just to deep

So you hate and judge
why won't I let you in
You see I am protecting you
from a monster made of sin
Don't you understand?
Can't you even grasp?
This is not a paradise..
Behind this invincible wall
For lurks here is an evil
A black hole enabling an endless fall

I'm trying to save you
I wish you could see
There' s only just a bit of good
in the prison I call me....

Go ahead... No one will notice
They will judge me.....They won't have a clue
A clue...That it was you
Go ahead make him pay.....I can't do it not today
Chicken ****....I am afraid
Then take out yourself....Thats awful to say
You can make it all go away....It would still linger, in my heart it would stay
He deserves it for treating you this way.....He does, your right! Today is the day
Feel better now?....No I feel worse
Your such a sap....I'm human, it' a curse
Soon your have the power of fame.....No love for life though, just a name
You can't have it all ,sometimes you much sacrafice.....His life and my heart , just for a little part

Not your heart you still have that.....What was the cost then? Tell me that!
Something more precious than gold....Heaven help me! you mean my soul!

Didn't you read the small print?.....I can't believe this lement
I've enjoyed this time we've spent...Will I ever see you again
Of course you will we're bond by sin......In the end?
Yes,I will come for you......when?
When? Why when you decend....Until then?

Love that sin....I change my mind!
You can't rewind....I been forsaken?
No mistaken....I don't know what to say
There's nothing more to say it's just the price you must pay....
I wish you never came...
but, I like the game....
My soul's to high of a price...
I know but's it my vice
Please let me go....
I can't even if I wanted it to be so..
There's no hope for me?....
Just enjoy it ,and pretend that your free...
But, I know in the end,where I must go....
Yes , forever with me in the fire down below...
I'm afraid, will it hurt to burn?....
I 'll be with you when it's your turn....
Promise?...
I won't let you down...
Love is cruel isn't it??...
It is my sweet,but just a bit...
How long do I have??...
I can't tell you that...
Until then....
I'll be waiting friend

I sometimes speak in riddles
a little *** for tat
A simple exchange of random thoughts
that flow to a rhythm all it's own
Sometimes it comes in metaphors
sometimes it clear as a bell
But, always it is straight from the heart
Always it's cleansing to the soul
I can share my wishes and my ever changing dreams
I can expose my deeps fears and my sneakiest of schemes
I love the world of poetry
It's the only place I call home
For even when I sit here by myself
Somehow I am never alone.................

I stand in front of the mirror
and glare at my reflection

I do not look as I see myself
and it eats at me like an infection

I can not explain this reaction
a lack of personal satisfaction

I wish I could release this tormented soul
be happy with what it is and accept that I am getting old.....

The fire of life
a flame of passion
The love of a gift
is nature's attraction

A spirit in search
a soul that's in need
A heart that is scarred
by one's careless deed

A grasp for the light
while asleep in the night
A dream that can save you
from eternal twilight

A song that plays softly
within your head
The angel's face you see
while you lye in your bed

Tricks of the mind
when life is unkind
Embrace the unknown
perhaps the answers you'll find

Take a leap of faith with me
dream a dream that's not ment to be
perhaps some magic will make it come true

Believe in things unseen
In voices unheard
Believe in a stranger
In powers unknown

Take a ride on my magic carpet
drink this drink that will make you shrink
eat a mushroom to make you larger than life
Open your eyes to the other side of the knife

Fear not the relms that this world holds
there are depths still untold
stories to be written
dreams to create
grasp your fear
and free your fate

Perhaps I am crazy
bordering insane
but I feel it on the wind
I hear it in your name
You were ment for so much more
such a magnificent mind to explore

Take my hand
don't be afraid
Let's leave together
we will find the way

The universe is calling
can you hear its voice
It;s telling us to come now
telling us we have a choice

We can be cattle
branded with our humanity
or we can be comets
burning through the galaxy

The choice is yours
I leave in your hands
If you chose not to come
I will understand
I will burn a sign for you
In night's darkness
I will write your name
among the stars
like I always promised.....

Time to wake up from this morbid dream
praying to break this crushing curse
I know the things that I must do
but fear over whelms and kills the drive
I have two angels to think about
Can no longer live in limbo
between good and evil
right and wrong
I must be good
I must be right
I must say goodbye
to twisted dreams of the life
Live what I've been given
Be thankful instead of selfish
Love instead of waiting to be loved
Live until I die,not die to be living
cherish,Breath deep, take the fall
and have faith that the ones that love me
will catch me.....

You invited yourself in through a crack in the door
looking around you yawned in a bore
Looking at my trinkets and irrelevant things
Trying to find a piece of me
but,hiding am I
from your piercing eyes
Locked in the closets
safe from your lies
You wander endlessly through my empty shell
tip toe down stairs
to a vision of hell
You thought I was so pleasant
a peaceful caring soul
little did you know of the fire down below
I come out of hiding no longer afraid
No more will I hide my silent rage
You want to know me
and what makes me tick
I hope all the darkness has not made you sick
You crawl up the stairs
shaking and scared
into a soft bedroom
and I am waiting there
at first you stare
frieghten of me
then you stand up
and come to me
I am not evil
I am not angelic
I am a little of both
I am a human
The same as you
breathing
loving
hurting
too......

I wake up every morning
to see your smiling little faces
So free you speak of your dreams
never confined by social graces

Imagination one of your greatest friends
taking you places that I have once been
fairies and princesses, dragons and knights
You tell me your stories of happiness and fright

You make me remember my long ago friends
that only I could see ....they were oh so very special to me
You make me believe in miracles and magic and hope

You give me such a special gift
one only you can give
the gife of a youthful mind
for the magic is there and it's easy to find
You teach me what I once knew so well
That in our hearts is where the child dwells

I wonder what you see
when you look within my eyes
Do you see an emptiness
that can not hide my lies

Do you see a vast sea
of intoxiating kisses
Do you see a darken sky
made up of wasted wishes

Or perhaps you see nothing
but their greenish peer
and the redness caused by tears
or perhaps the lack of sleep
The wolf hidden safely within the sheep

I walk with the moon upon my back
searching alone , no need for a  pack
I hunt for you wherever you are
To take you down, to make you howl

You think you are so powerful with your brutal strength
but, I am oh so much stronger than you may ever think
I fear you not, only deep despise
Your bully, macho ******* will be your sweet demise
I'll take your hairy *** down, with one fatal blow
and laugh at you as you shrink back,to a quivering little *******

And, if I choose to I will drain you dry
taking that ugly mug, as a sentimental prize

I'll then take flight with a great sense of pride
off to my darken castle ,but not to hide
I'll hang your head upon my hellish mantel
and then I will continue on my happily ever after......