The rain it trickles down my window
beating on the ***** street
making puddles , and the children splash them with their feet
I sit back and watch
my eyes like the clouds
my cheeks like those streets
my pillow that puddle
but no child here to play
that one missing piece for the perfect rainy day
a mocking of nature ,though the meaning is different
The rain it cleanses and renews
Those tears release the trapped up blues
I wonder to myself , will there every come a day
when I will once again have a sunny day
Eyes sparkling with love for life
the laughter of that child who dwells inside
the beam of a smile that could light up the night
One tear of happiness, to show gratitude to the light

The dawning of a new year
brings a rebirth of hope
For the feeling we can do anything
will surely help us cope

We should be grateful
for each and every new day
Try to be ambitious
To shield the fear away

Embrace the ones we love
and perhaps the ones we don't
Accept each soul for what it is
for change for us it won't

We all have a place
a precious part to play
we all need to feel love
and saved when we go astray

Let's make the most of this new year
Accepting one another with happy tears
Loving each other for the gifts that we are
and remember each one of us is a shining star

I tried to see the world as it is
Hiding my heart , as if to protect  it
But, no matter how I try
I can't seem to get these clouds out of my eyes
Maybe it's because I am a dreamer
Perhaps I was never ment to be a blue collar skemer
I live my happiest moments
in dreamy visions of tomorrow
Not realizing at the time
That now is passing right on by
Curse these reality illusions
That blends with now and then fuses
Leaving me in a state of warpness
Viewing real reality as rather hopeless
Choosing then and now
to live my life
with my heart on my sleeve
Clouds in my eyes
and wind in my sails
floating wherever
this life takes me
Wrapping myself
in the things that forsake me
Using them to warm my soul
against reality's cold wind blow
And as for love I'll take what I can
For love is the one true gift given
to mortal man

I've always been told
monsters don't exist
I know this is a lie
I see it in the eyes
I felt in the fist

I know what evil looks like
just like you and me
I see it in the mirror
looking back at me
I hear it's furious roar
When the yells are freed

It lurks just beneath the surface
waiting to pouce
Draining our humanity
devoring every ounce

I have come to realize
So painful to see
Those monsters do exist
They exist in you and me.....

The shadows call me to the dark
I hear a cat scream and the big dog bark
It is bright as summer but, cold from the rain
Slowly I unravel ...embrace the insane
You always try to save me
you think I'm going to fall
If you only knew
I dread to hear the call
I walk from within the shadows
and down the lonely block
Hear the birdies singing
watch the lady breathing
Wonder why we are really here at all
You always try to save me
hold me and constrain me
There is no way to tame me
Just let me be myself
And this we will remember
when the storms of this september
shimmer to an ember
And we place it on a shelve
and continue into winter
Holding on and dreaming
of summer's distance embrace
the tint of your sunkissed face
And the shadows that challenge my grace
The darkness that lerks beneath
There can not be a repeat
For there's nothing there to beat
And I will never claim defeat
You always try to save me
Love me and obey me
Take my heart and warm it
Grab my hand and hold it
Don't let go...oh, don't you dare
You know I am here...You know that I care
The shadows they call to me
but, theres no fear I wish you'd see
It's just a place I sometimes go
To toughen the spirit and challange the soul

Hunting in the forest of synchronicity
searching for the signs that manifest for me
Watching the stars for a path is  key
trying to unlock the chest of humanity

Attempting to awaken the sleeping mind
discover the gifts ancients left behind
Embracing the power of mankind
Wishing the path to be defined

Into the clearing I stumble and fall
into a spiral of animals shouting the call
I stand in the middle stronge and tall
No longer a puppet, No more a rag doll

I will welcome the power given to me
and use it to set the goodness free
Wrapped in the enlightment I  clearly see
There is much more for me to be

So eager you were
for your first day to come
but, watching  you board the bus
I felt myself come undone
But, I held it in on that cloudy day
When my little boy first went away
I won't lie and say I didn't cry
For once I waved you off
with a smile upon my face
blowing you kisses
as the bus took it's pace
I cried all the way to your new school
Yes, sweetheart momma's a senitmental fool
Then off with the tears to greet my little man
Daddy so proud as he took your hand

The teacher lined you all up like tin soldiers in a row
You step out just once..a hug and a kiss and off you did go
Into the school you marched in a line
a little afraid but, you did just fine

My little blue bird had taken his first flight
And all in all he did alright
taking each challenge with an eager embrace
Never losing that smile on his face

And I  take a deep breath
for he's not ready to fly away ....
I save that fear for another day
For each day he returns to us
with something bright and new
Telling us eagerly
of the new things he can do..

Crashed upon this deserted land
I stand alone ,no one , not hand in hand
I cry and cringe in a fetal rolled up ball
Wailing until there are no more tears to fall
Hurting,broken,left alone
no love, no life, no one to call my own
No friends , No family, just memories of the past
I cling to these with every breath, just trying to make them last

I wonder why I'm so unworthy, why they left me here to die
Was I such a bad person, was my everything a lie
I sometimes feel anger, sometimes feel sad
but most of the time , I feel numb, which in turn ,makes me feel bad

I think back to all those memories and realize one fatal truth
It was me who pushed away, locking myself in this silent booth
Opening up, sharing myself was just to hard a task
Now I'm left with nothing, but this worn out, ugly mask

So I deserve to be stuck here
To rot from my own fear
I crashed myself so recklessly into this sandy grave
Trying to get away from all the love they would have gave
So now it is so painfully visible to see
I am a prison unto myself on this Island called me

You say I talk in riddles
That raddle your brain
You think I live an illusion
and border on insane

I say so be it sweetheart
call me what you may
but remember you contribute
to my insanity each and everyday

I am a silly dreamer
a sort of crazy clown
and when you try to trap me
It makes me wear a frown

This you know just won't work
I must be happy , I must be myself
and if I can not in this world built for two
I shall do it alone, in my mind, safe from you

I can't be normal, no matter how I try
and everytime you attept to make me
a little more I die
I am tired of trying,  and realize so true
I don't want to be normal .....I don't want to be you

The flowers of my life
the fairies that paint my world
the women who inspire me
when I've given up on the world

Their aura's of many colors
all a beauty in their own way
the present and the past
making a beautful bouquet

I love each and everyone of them
my family and my friends
That touch my soul
and let me know
my heart is where the rainbow ends

Thank you to my flowers
To my beautiful bouquet
Thank you to my fairies
who paint away the grey

I cherish everyone of you
and I think it is time to say
Thank you ..everyone of you
Those in my garden now
and those who's petals have flown away.

Embrace the beauty
inside of you
Share your fragence with pride
Let the magic shine through
The beauty you have inside

I don't know what to do with me
I don't know who I am
It seems that I have lost the me
The one who gave a ****
Sometimes I feel so hollow
like an emply mason jar
I try to be normal
But, it only goes so far
I wish I knew happiness
the kind that always last
it seem the only joy I know
come from a useless past
I want the pain to go away
I want to just breath in
Take the life I once enjoyed
even if I have to blow it out again
I wish I could find my soul
Where could it have gone
I need it back so I can find my missing heart song
I need that glow to light my way
and lead me through the night
Put it in my mason jar and ***** that lid on tight

I think of you often
more often then not
And then become angry
for it torchures me alot
I know you think I'm kind
but, nothing more than that
I wonder why I'm content,
to gaze at you from the back
I will never be anything to you
but, a girl you have to know
I have so many feelings that I will never show
You are so refreshing though
Like an angel in my life
You make me feel good about myself
If only for a moments flight
I am happy that you know my name
and always give me my own smile
I wonder if you know at all
If you've known it all the while....

Take a stroll down any street
and this is what you'll find

The lonely , the lost , the misunderstood
It's a shame what the mind can ignore

Rarely eyes fall upon these lost souls
Sometimes they are people
who have lost thier way

Sometimes forgotten playgrounds
where the child once played

Sometimes old buildings
that hauntly echo
a once vibrant time

It is a shame that we can just leave
them all to rot
as we go on our merry way
making more memories
while these forgotten people,places, and things
just simply exist

I dream of true love
the kind that always last
I wonder why I was not chosen
Why my youth left me so fast?

Am I destined to be an old maid?
Living without love
Destined to cover the graves
while my loved ones live golden above

Do I really even exist?
Have I ever existed at all?
Or, am I just someone's nightmare
An infestation?
The devil's fare?
An embodiment of nothingness?
The bad end of a double dare?

I hope I wake up soon
I have to find away
to chase away the darkness
to rainbow up my gray
I can not live in sorrow
I can not dwell in pain
I can not wait for sunshine
while I'm drowning in my rain

I finally feel the warmth
the unconditional love
the happiness inside me
that I've been dreaming of
Thank God I didn't give up
Thank God I stuck it through
I  asked him for a sign
Thankfully he sent me two...

You long for the stillness of the night
The wanting for me to hold you tight

Your blood it calls me from across town
Becking to come to you, in my blackest gown

I have warned you not to play this game
I know the ending far to well, and it's an awful shame
Yet you beg and cry and call
You know the risk and want the fall

Your windows open and I glide in
amoungt the fog of lovers sin
I lower my head to your pulsing neck
and then I give you just a simple peck

You want me to take you , to set you free
You do not understand eternal misery
There is no freedom in this you seek
You,who is to caring and, far to meek
You lack the savagery this existance requires

I smile sheepishly, as you cry in rejection
Sparing the grief of this eternal infection

I slink away leaving you to your life
Believing in the untrue
I never ment to hurt you
I would have like to stay
Draining you was wonderful
each and every unday.

I wake today to the darkest morning
Up before the lazy sun
Sipping coffee, my mind still hazy
Softly arising from the state of dreaming

I am pondering,
wondering
engaging into life
stabbing at reality
with my sharp mental knife

I think to myself if given one gift
what would I want?
Well I tell you it's this.....

I would wish for
A life of peace
A world of hope
A dream to release
A vision to take flight
And a ribbon of love
to wrap it up tight

I would wish that this gift you see
be for everyone to receive
A little present of harmony
That's the gift of my wildest dreams
That's the present we all need it seems.

I've always heard silence is golden
but, what if your voice is stolen
Is it then as precious as gold
or is it more like steel bars bitter and cold

I've always been told the grass isn't greener on the other side
sometimes I wonder and sometimes I think they lied

I have heard on the wind, you reep what you soe
I ponder this as I weep for a foe

All these expressions , these old wise tales
They try to nutshell the human nature
All that we fail and all that we hail

I believe life is short
we must set sail , we must leave port
Explore the relm on which we grace
Hand in hand and face to face

Love all that you hold dear
cherish every hug and every tear
Never ...ever live in fear

Always follow your heart,
but let your mind co-pilot
Hold on to your pride
but keep it in your pocket
Live your dreams
but,don't dream your life

Your life is a vessel upon a vast sea
Do you want to be the sail that guides your way
or continue being the anchor that holds you down today.......

I walk with the moon upon my back
searching alone , no need for a  pack
I hunt for you wherever you are
To take you down, to make you howl

You think you are so powerful with your brutal strength
but, I am oh so much stronger than you may ever think
I fear you not, only deep despise
Your bully, macho ******* will be your sweet demise
I'll take your hairy *** down, with one fatal blow
and laugh at you as you shrink back,to a quivering little *******

And, if I choose to I will drain you dry
taking that ugly mug, as a sentimental prize

I'll then take flight with a great sense of pride
off to my darken castle ,but not to hide
I'll hang your head upon my hellish mantel
and then I will continue on my happily ever after......

I am of the wind
my dark hair flowing
whirling and twirling
as the power is growing

I am of the moon
to tempt and to charm
to light up your darkness
as you lay in my arms

I am of the night
the starlight dwells in my eyes
make a good wish
you might get a suprise

I am the mystic
mystery my home
the darkness my blanket
my love
the unknown

A blanket of white
caresses the night
the tree gently a glow
lights softly dancing
on shimmering snow

The winter wind whistles
a sweet melody
as children lay down
to unleash their dreams

The snowman he smiles
the angels they wink
Heaven on earth
Just feel it , don't think

The magic is flowing
through every living soul
connecting the young
with the spirits of old

Embrace it
take it in , let it all come back
bring back the innocence
that as adults we all lack

Show your love
wear your heart on your sleeve
Forgive those who hurt you
Open your heart to believe
Your soul will do the rest
Hear the calling .....pass the test.

Time to wake up from this morbid dream
praying to break this crushing curse
I know the things that I must do
but fear over whelms and kills the drive
I have two angels to think about
Can no longer live in limbo
between good and evil
right and wrong
I must be good
I must be right
I must say goodbye
to twisted dreams of the life
Live what I've been given
Be thankful instead of selfish
Love instead of waiting to be loved
Live until I die,not die to be living
cherish,Breath deep, take the fall
and have faith that the ones that love me
will catch me.....

It is good to be back
among old friends devine
To walk in the sun
with those that do shine
To taste again of poetic sins
in all of it's glorious blends
To feel it once more pulse
through my veins
And,realize ...I was not ment to be sane.

I watch you through my eyes of glass
A tempting sight from first glance
So innocent and gentle is your way
Nothing like you has ever come my way
You shimmer in the light of the shining sun
You and your friends having fun

I must be careful where I tread
my kind is not welcome or so I have read
I see you from behind the clouds playing silly games
I wish to feel this joy as I hide my steamy shame
my kind would disown me for visiting such a place
Yet I am drawn to you , your beauty and your grace
but I do not belong here and this I must face
If only for a moment I could catch you in flight
I would not hurt , or tarnish your golden wings of light
Just to gaze at you and for you to see me too
Not the creature I am but, what I would be for you
Then I would set you free
and perhaps become more than the monster I have been made to be....

I wish I ...could show you ..how I feel...
I wish that you ...would know that ....it's real....
I wish that I... could hold you.. forever....
But wishes are like dreams
they soon fade away.
when the morning...
kisses the day...

I wish  I...could be ...the hero...
that you wanted....
I wish  I....could be... the warrior...
that you ....dream
But, I am half...
maybe less..
of what you need....

I wish for every happiness... to bestow you...
I wish for love.. to find you...and hold you..
But, wishes are likes dreams...
they soon fade away ....
when the morning.... kisses
the day....

The end it never really comes
one story folding into the next
Like the longest story ever told
with an ever changing plot
We each add a special twist
some pages are happy
some so sad
some of them are envy
while others are just mad
Some fill us with a joy that can not be measured
Others awaken us to life's simple pleasures
The pages keep adding , new ones each day
This is the flow of life, This is Infinity's way

It happened one day
and it happened this way
The space in time
where a dream and a rhyme
They some how combined
Blending and flowing
sparking and glowing
creating  a creature
with mystical features
With the ability to rhyme
to tell a story and keep in time
to see the world with kaldoscope eyes
To tell of it's secrets and darkest of lies
To speak softly of the sweeter  things
The flow of the trees , and the bird as it sings
A breed that blended among the others
For they too could be fathers and mothers
Brought here to enlighten the earth
This is the story of the poet's birth.....

Spining and swirling
I can't find my feet
Lost in a mind
detoured by defeat
I can't believe you beat me
I can't believe you won
For you the game is over
For me it's just begun
You walk away grinning
thinking your on top
but, this is where you're mistaken
I 'm not so easy forsaken
I will make a come back
just you wait and see
with a whirlpool of emotions
I'll shall **** you down
and giggle sheepishly as you slowly drown

The world is full of people
who search for eternal youth
Buying into lies
to avoid the ultimate truth
But, I have my own little secret
and it's kept within my heart
a picture book of memories
more precious , and with dignity
than any expensive vanity
You see it is simplicity

For when I speak to you
it takes me back in time
to the me I once knew
A little girl with dreams
and precious schemes
Someone who could
do anything
be anyone
lived her life just for fun
A life that had yet begun

When I give you a gentle embrace
All over again I see that little face
And remember all the good times
I even remember my very first rythm
I can't believe how fast time flies
and now I have my own little ones
with those big dreams in their eyes
And I share with them the fairytales
That you passed on to me

Thank you for the memories
and life lessons learned
Thank you for keeping me young
For saving the little girl
carefully in your heart
For walking with me down life's trail
For always loving me
through trimph or fail...

Happy Birthday Dad!!!!

Your always trying to sneak a peak
through my wall, built for defense
You've tried to climb it
but you failed
You tried to dig beneath
but unfortunately it was just to deep

So you hate and judge
why won't I let you in
You see I am protecting you
from a monster made of sin
Don't you understand?
Can't you even grasp?
This is not a paradise..
Behind this invincible wall
For lurks here is an evil
A black hole enabling an endless fall

I'm trying to save you
I wish you could see
There' s only just a bit of good
in the prison I call me....

I wonder what you see
when you look within my eyes
Do you see an emptiness
that can not hide my lies

Do you see a vast sea
of intoxiating kisses
Do you see a darken sky
made up of wasted wishes

Or perhaps you see nothing
but their greenish peer
and the redness caused by tears
or perhaps the lack of sleep
The wolf hidden safely within the sheep

The days and years they have gone so fast
I can not catch up, can not seem to grasp
And this ever growing urge to make time stand still
to keep you just the way you are pure and so secure

I want to keep you save, to always hold your hand
I know I can't keep you here and this I understand
It does not make it easier to be aware of this
I want to always have this special bonding bliss

I can't stop time
I can't keep you young
I can only hold you tight
Try to teach you wrong from right
Show you all the love I have
Cherish these moments
Be proud and be glad

I never knew the termoil ,that comes with raising young
Already I feel the pang of seperation and it has yet to have begun....

Take a journey if you dare
of passions and thrills beyond compare
You'll see visions cold as ice
and feel the fire but, for a price

We make the best drinks ,your mouth has ever posessed
we make them with care and a little tenderness
They'll knock you off your feet, that for certain
Preparing your mind for whats behind the curtain

We show you all the tricks for living a happy life
maybe you'll be lucky and win the door prize
You'll return home a brand new man
less your essence but, this we need you understand

So come on down,don't be shy, live the life you were born to die
We grant wishes, influience dreams, make it happen,that's one of our schemes

You'll never ask for a thing again , posessing it all to your hearts content..... One warning of caution I must pass on.....Heaven doesn't take anyone who's answered the curtains call....So watch your step it's a hell of drop....Enjoy the show....just close your eyes and.........FALL

You look at me with innocent eyes
you know not what you see
You view me in a loving way
so new this is for me
You break my heart with a tear
and mend it with a smile
You make me chase you endlessly
but it's worth ever mile
I can't believe I  made you
so magnificent you are
I never loved so true
sometimes it almost hurts
I've never felt such happiness
it's seems at times I'll burst
I know now why my parents did
all things they did
I can't believe the joy that comes
from a simple word like kid

You love the heat of the morning sun
as it shines within the window
I would rather cover my face
and await for the shadows return

You enjoy the brightness of every light
in the house on display
I would rather burn a million candles
illuminating the walls as we play

You beg me, please just leave
one light burning bright
unlike me it seems you see
in the darkness things that give you fright

It  is so silly to me
But I grant you this wish
A night light shining bright
A kiss to tuck you in safe and sound
and a sign thats says
"Please, Don't turn of the lights..."

Each  day a new chance
Each song a new dance

Each wish I wish for you
Each spell I cast for you

Each dream I dream you
Each tear I cry for you

I wonder do I cross your mind
every single day
I wonder if I have ever crossed it
in a special way

Each day I hope
Each day I dream
Each day I sing
Each day I grin

Always when I think of you
the clouds seem to dismiss

Always you leave my mind
in a silly,rainbow bliss.....

You invited yourself in through a crack in the door
looking around you yawned in a bore
Looking at my trinkets and irrelevant things
Trying to find a piece of me
but,hiding am I
from your piercing eyes
Locked in the closets
safe from your lies
You wander endlessly through my empty shell
tip toe down stairs
to a vision of hell
You thought I was so pleasant
a peaceful caring soul
little did you know of the fire down below
I come out of hiding no longer afraid
No more will I hide my silent rage
You want to know me
and what makes me tick
I hope all the darkness has not made you sick
You crawl up the stairs
shaking and scared
into a soft bedroom
and I am waiting there
at first you stare
frieghten of me
then you stand up
and come to me
I am not evil
I am not angelic
I am a little of both
I am a human
The same as you
breathing
loving
hurting
too......

I feel it every morning
in the darkest of night
I see it sparkling in your eyes
The love that never dies
It embraces me
when you hug me
It warms me
when you smile
It saves me everytime
that I am about to fall
The power of love
I can not explain
But I feel it everytime you call my name
MOMMA!!!!

I see you from a distance
though in front of me you stand
I watch you oh so innocently
reach for my trembling hand

You tell me that it's okay
your voice is like a dream
I stand there just pondering
Is this reality?

You smile and I can't help
but to smile back
we begin to slowly walk
up a foggy path

We come to the top
I realize we've reached the sky
with every light in the universe
glowing I must close my eyes

I wake in the morning
a mist upon the sun
with this thought inside me
Your not quite ready ,
the journey has just begun

I realize there are many things
that I am here to do
I must find out what they are
concur them
and return to you