Seven year old Meghan boasted after school
that she already knew who she was to marry --
His name was Jack
and she had cold, hard facts
to back up her theory
on why he would be her perfect husband
"He's not crazy and we both like legos"

Fair enough.

if only we never grew out of our old toys,
never stopped building and re-building what got torn down
brick by brick
maybe then I'd still be hiding in the closet
kissing eddie martin with the lights off

But neither of us like legos anymore
and I guess we're both slightly crazy

Meghan will learn soon enough
that after a while you will step on too many legos
and you will have had enough

I am not in the business of
Listening to lies
Which is why I hardly hear
When you say "I love you"
Love is the most overused word
In the english language
"I love this song!"
"I love this book!"
"I love that movie!"
"I love you."
It's become an impulse,
A reflex
Spoken in a monotone voice
Because I'm expected to
And every time we exchange those words
It feels like a transaction to me
When the words slip from your mouth
They feel clumsy and awkward
With no passion and not a hint of truth
Everyone tells me you don't mean those things
That you yell at me
That you say things without thinking
But just because you speak without a filter
Doesn't mean it's not true
If anger and abuse is the only kind of love
You have to offer
Then I don't ******* want it
You can keep your double standards
And your lies
I thought a mother
Was supposed to have
An agape kind of love
Not make their daughters
Feel like burdens
For even being alive
You've classically conditioned me
To not believe a word anyone says
I've had hope far too many times
And whenever you tell me you love me
And I fail to reply
You'll start yelling yet again
But you don't understand,
That unlike you,
I am not in the business of
Telling people lies

When I was a little girl
And my mother still laid out clothes for me
She'd always tell me
"You're the prettiest girl in your class,
But you'd be beautiful if you combed your hair more."

When I was a bit older
And I didn't care much
About what I wore
My mom would always say
"You'd be beautiful if your clothes matched."

When I was 14,
And I skipped breakfast and lunch
And binged at dinner
I lost my appetite
And felt like throwing up
When my mom said
"You'd be beautiful if you didn't eat so much."

I wonder if you saw what I did to myself
If you'd have the nerve to tell me
"You'd be beautiful if only you didn't
Take a razor to your wrist or a finger to your throat."

This is it.
I really ****** up this time.
I can't go back.
We can't go back.

I said the same things I've always been saying.
The words that get me close.
But never too close.
And this time, it wasn't just.
Your voice that broke.

Something inside did too.
The part that loves me.
I finally shattered it like I wanted to.

But I don't want to.
I didn't want to.
I take it back.
I love you.
I'll always love you.

Come back.

Don't walk out your door.
Don't tell me that you trust me to find my way out.
Don't leave.
Don't.

Please?

Don't be the dandelion fluff that blows away in the wind.
As if it were never there at all...