"It's like a tunnel with no light at the end"
You try to explain
But the answers are always the same
"I'm sorry" They say
With thier non-empathic eyes

Maybe it
was the
coffee,
perhaps the
pouring rain,
that made
her want
to burst
with light
and be alive again.

Then came
the bitter
silence,
the lies
that tore
her heart,
that drove
her to
forget their past;
and thus, she fell apart.

It struck a chord in me to say the least.
Your voice filled with the hurt and pain
that I experience most nights alone in my bed.
Your eyes allowing me to peak into your window
and see underneath the layers of self-confidence
where I’d find the same marks of doubt.
I should have known we were one in the same
the day you told me I was pretty
because you saw the sadness in my arms.
But instead, I dug deeper into myself
searching for love that would never arrive
and in people who wouldn’t think twice
of sailing me out to sea.
I needed someone like you who understood
how my scalding showers shed the skin
I could no longer bear to be in
and how no matter how loud I sang
the suicidal thoughts wouldn’t go away.
I never realized I needed you,
but ******* did you need me.
You viewed me as your sunshine
when I only saw myself as shade.
I’m sorry that my words are coming to you so late.
How could I have been so blind
when you could see right through me?

“How would you feel if I killed myself?”
Well,
do you ever think that butterflies
floating from flower to flower
wonder “what’s my purpose?”
Because I never thought something so beautiful
could question its existence.

I guess it's always been like that
You cry, I laugh
But tonight I hated your face

You tried to hold back the tears when you saw it
It was just one of my many scars
I started laughing

You still don't know about the rest
Or why they are on my body
Only I know that

Such a beautiful girl
With tears that runs down her pretty face
The ice blue eyes look so much colder
But yet so much more alive

And I'm responsible
An ugly face
With an even uglier smile
And a hideous laugh

You asked me why
I didn't really have an answer you'd understand
You said 'you're ruining your body'
Once again I started laughing
Feeling the tears from my own eyes creep closer

It's kind of ironic
You don't want me to ruin my body
Oh but darling it's already so broken
I'm just trying to build it up again
In a way that you would never understand

I'm sorry that you saw it
I don't want you to think that
I'm asking for help
Or that I'm weak
I'm sorry in a way that you will never understand

holding your skin against mine,
exploring the silk surfaces of your mind,
diving deep into the darkness
just to hear the rain and street collide.

i'm a sinking ship,
an eroding shore,
that ebbs past the horizon,
evermore,

i'm a withering tree
losing its scarlet youth,

am i a lie?
or am i the truth?

Reach for the blade. Its the only thing that can make you feel anything now.
        Now that everyone has destroyed what's left of you...
             How you will ever be the same again...

Draw it across and watch as the red flows behind it
         Again and again, again and again, again and again
             Till there is nothing but red
                  Dripping
                         Falling
                               Bleeding

At first its anger, hatred, betrayal
    Then it becomes less and less
         More of a habit
              Till you feel nothing at all
                       And all you want are the scars and to try to feel, try to be in control of something

It is always  easier to start than it is to stop

I'm not ashamed to say
that today,
my ***** look impeccable.
They do—
and that makes me beam
in every possible way.
See,
we're rounding a long winter,
and it's cloudy outside.
I'm smart enough to know
that most days—
you have to make
your own god ****** sunshine.

Inside I am hurting
though I am supposed to stay strong
Need to move past
all this romance gone wrong
I felt my heart breaking
I held on to my pain,
loyal to the end,
despite my disdain.
Still with reckless fashion
and burning desire,
I abandoned those dreams,
extinguished that fire.
I would love forever if given the chance.
But I'm weary now, too tired to dance.