My silent madness spoilt as the wind scratched the branch against the glass  
A reminder of the cool breeze of winter waiting out the door
The shiver returns

I should be used to this
4 am
3am
2am
That feeling of a world stood still whilst in my head the waltzers ride
Never stops

Awake  

So here I am again
Bound to write my own self destruct
Ink drying on a mind fading away
Lost from the found
I cry for my own failed fame

Awake

One day these words may help someone
One day these lines may heal
It's all I ask
It's all I want

Awake

I promised not to moan today
The feeling sad
The road to rage
I promised not to show these thought's
A promise made
My god
Oh lord  

I lasted but a day or two
The madness swelled
The air turned blue
I promised failed
A head in shame
My shout out loud
It's you I blame

Now some of you will laugh at me
But just you watch
I'll wait you see
Cos just around the corner here
You'll moan at something
Be that clear
And when you start you'll
Stop and smile
I promise you
A laugh out loud

My irksome mind begins its wallow
In the darkness of the moonlight glow
I stir to another turn awake

The place sounds still

I only wish my soul felt it too

Stepping up to the window I stare to a wasted view
The reflected pane shouts to me  
Horror in my face
My minds screaming silence
The waking always hurts

Look at me
Look at me now
I'm still the same person
I'm one of the crowd
I look a little fatter or slim down works just fine
This illness takes it all in vain
I'm doing
Doing fine

I sometimes eat your head off
I sometimes rage I'm mad
I blame it on the tablets
I blame it cos I'm bad

One day I'm getting off here
Don't worry you'll be fine
Just hold my hand for freedom
Oh please
Oh please be kind

No ****** music drama
Or silly crossed out signs
Go rock about the ages
The V for victory sign
The V for victory sign

Now that is one big party
Where I can never play
Don't worry I'll be watching
The drinks are on the wake

So morbid I can be sometimes
But better I will get
Ya gonna have to wait a while
Cos I ain't leaving yet
My time on here ain't over
A pain that I can be
We'll celebrate another year
Till I be 93


Dedicated to a friends daughter  x x

You cannot see the pain I feel
No expression from my hurt
Yet that look in your eyes makes me
Cry a little
I'm bleeding from my heart

Crying on the inside
Cry myself to sleep
I only want to hold you
Wake me from this dream

You turned the other corner
The reach was never near
Left behind I'm nothing
All hope
My dream
The fear

Crying on the inside
Cry myself to sleep
I only want to hold you
Wake me from this dream

And now the chair is empty
Just standing all alone
The cold has taken over
Ripping out my soul
Now your gone

Crying on the inside
Cry myself to sleep
I only want to hold you
Wake me from this dream

My inner peace draws a breath from the flowers
Stained in tears
There they lay cold wet and lonely marking a time
A wish that hurt all love
No one deserve
No time again
Only sorrowed brow
As I bowed my head

The weeks passed and the winds came
Time did not heal the open
Life for someone else remained in my thoughts
Memories of my home came into view
Remembering the blurred colours of my past
From the passing of my loved ones
Still the flowers marked
The place

A year passed through the seasons
Time stood still in someones house
A room now dusty
A car not moved
Clothing still scented of the past
And there I stood
Lonely
The flowers fresh
The colours of beauty amongst the
Sadness of the day
A mark now etched
As I bowed my head

Letters in the Alphabet

To some words mean everything
To me its all in the music

You see Abc gave me that
Lexicon of love
And I could only Imagine what
Lennon thought
Yet Pulp gave it all for the
Common people
But Bowie was my Hero
Good old Amadeus Rocked me at parties and
Boy George never hurt me as my
Enigma would always return me to innocence
Whilst at the back of my mind I would
Muse to thinking Time is running out