Put genitals in your mouth
No one bats an eye
Eat a chip off the floor
After five seconds
People lose their ****

Whirl down Cupid’s Hill
Post office bound
Island air and golden sun bars
Through moon roof

Corner pocket
Western union
Mow down island dogs
Kintaro

Please mow down as many as possible
You love dogs?
I do too.

But, no, it’s the humane thing to do
Otherwise they cry all night
With suicide eyes
But no pointer fingers to
Pull the trigger

Or tug-of-war
A baby piglet in half

Red spray painted
Toe nails

And
I lose sleep
And get nasty with
Unsuspecting writing students
All day Thursday

And
Besides
It’s not like they
Won’t be dinner for
Your neighbors
anyway

Be weary
Menwai are tricky here
Find one who is the ****
And spend your time with them

Better yet
Choose a westernized local
Someone who knows and
Respects both sides

Because
For some reason
Menwai lack any ******* semblance
Of depth and loyalty
In paradise

No, no
If you want integrity and honesty
A westernized local is the way to go
You dig

Because who knows if that
One Adonis
“Friend” of yours won’t
Keep a secret local girl friend
Locked away in his forbidden,
No trespassing 4TY apartment

And **** all the girlfriends
You confided your feelings in
For said
Statuesque Portland haling
Lawyer
“Friend”
In your apartment

Lies
Fairytales
And fallacies

Get me off this rock
If only for a weekend
On Black Coral or Nahlap

I can eat ramen for days
Ratted, greezy and
Scattered-*** ramen packs

Two Kool-aid red fingertips
Away from grasping
Something that at least
RESEMBLES confidence
And security

Because when your
“Curls and Gurls”
Best Peace Corps mate
Isn’t around to make you
Laugh till tears
Laugh at the absurdity
So that you can feel:
“At Last!
Grounded.”

You allow your brain and heart to
Meet in that covert cloud
Looming above
Decrepit Kolonia-town

But,
   But:

THE TEEJ MALI says:
More free
More free
So far surviving slum and street

Wearing these scars
Just as he is meant
To be

So you know ****’s
Gonna be alright

Soon

1)
i finally read that book you recommended. i heard your voice in every line
2)
i left the fossett running last night to cut the silence
3)
i still smell your shampoo on my pillow cases
4)
what's the name of that song we discovered on the radio two nights before you left? i need it right now
5)
acceptance is the act of investing in a space heater to keep me warm at night, when i know your legs could do the trick for free
6)
i saw your little cousin in target last week. i never realized how precisely your smiles match
7)
i left the cd you made me, in its case on the floor of my backseat. nick stepped on it and i felt an earth shattering emptiness, like someone died before i had the chance to say goodbye
8)
actually this all kind of feels like someone died before i had the chance to say goodbye
9)
tonight i caught up with some of your friends at starbucks & only thought of you once. does that mean i'm getting better?
10)
missing you occupies so much of my mind that i forget how to sleep most nights

some winter mornings
last through the spring,
sweeping in between wind chimes
and dusting over windowsills,
until our bodies are numb
and our minds are racing
i don't feel pain in the winter time,
pain feels me,
all curled up in the fetal position
with fuzzy socks
and war paint
at the edge of my sheets
december never stings,
it burns.
a softer,
quieter,
gentler
kind of agony
that whispers tauntingly
through the shower curtains
at 5 am and says
"why did you bother getting out of bed?"
oh and how that cold, cutting voice
gets stuck inside your head...
at least until spring takes
it's last cool breath