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304 · Apr 2014
Oracle.
She came, foreseen then,
I waited for her to show
The Plague of the World.
300 · May 2014
The Storm.
I prepared my abode,
Something lacking "home,"
I heard that it could happen,
My imagination took to roam.
I twined the oaks, reinforced with pines,
I housed the oats for the horses' fine,
In hindsight, I built a shelter
Much more worth my time.
You found me scarred and weary,
Out of the woodwork you seem to have came,
Your face that lit my darkest nights,
The eyes that killed the "same."
I just wish I could've seen,
God, if this storm would never come...
Complacency left me haunted
By the void, darkened by your absence,
The rain even seemed to avoid,
The garden we had cast as
A symbol of growth rather than destruction.
I felt it in my heart,
That everything would be lost,
I saw the lighting strike
And contend with your ghost,
The thunder rang as gunshots
Piercing my ringing ears,
And the clouds above like bloodclots,
The frigid wind allied my fears.
Blow, tempest, blow,
Carry me away from this,
The sordid scene like gallows
Hanging my chance to kiss,
The freezing lips that once warmed my being,
I couldn't help but notice seeing,
At where the Eye did pass atop,
All went quiet, to a pin drop,
In the distance I heard the clap,
The anger of God's voice,
How heavily He spat,
And the storm with all it's power and wail,
Did ****, bereave me of my nightingale.
300 · Sep 2016
MindWurm.
I once saw the sun burst into tears,
Knowing that you left the night,
You came about and all my fears
Were cast out by your light so bright,
I can sometimes think of when I was
Supposed to know the path ahead
Yet each time I watched you step
Along the shores of seas so red,
I wondered to myself inside
Could she grasp, reach in to me
I wondered if you knew I lied,
And saw right to the depths of me,
I couldn’t take but every whisper
Spoken softly, sweeping sweetly,
It took all I could to fester
Suffering, sad, still swells completely.
-
The quiet calm of mercy killing,
Save me from my darkest self,
I do not deserve, nor do I belong,
A cry, a plea, a call for help,
A faint but fleeting fluttering feeling,
Leads me to believe I’m wrong,
A precious hand shows, all revealing,
Lead me astray, away from the throng,
A cold, calculated discontent
Is but plaything for lament,
Falling faster to descent,
The whole way down, do I resent,
Dreadful illusion of ascent
Hypocrisy to some extent,
Plummeting further, hate ferments
My anger does logic augment,
Lying again, my way content,
Life grows hard to circumvent,
Theory slows, stagnant, latent
All forms of love I must forget,
For all my sin must come repent,
It grows harder to pretend,
All “beautiful” life must, please, end.
294 · Aug 2016
Insignificant Dust.
In your attempt to understand life,
Misleading yourself, pushing to fight,
Your unguided system fails and falters,
You consistently pass the blame to others,
And in our sentience and own free will,
We chastise beliefs of others still,
I implore you to be mindful, perhaps,
For real intelligence seems too much to ask,
How can you believe that you are owed,
What in this life has shown you so?
How can you believe your existence has worth
Yet still acknowledge the cosmos’ lurch?
What trait of yours has been engrained
To allow you to think you’re anything?
How small minded must we all be
To disregard something we all can see?
We are a
Pitiful
Sorrow filled
Sack of
Worthless Dust,
Flying through time,
Believing we must
Find the existential,
Break new ground,
Your hollow ideals fail you
As death’s bell sounds,
-
You are a measly grain of sand,
Soaring on a spec of dirt,
Through a playground.
Your problems don’t matter,
Your emotions will have no effect.
You’re dying, cancer of the earth.
Your useless, meandering thoughts,
Fickle, fodder for space and time,
Only temporarily facilitated by
The meat suit you currently occupy.
You will die,
Your memories will fade quickly,
Your name forgotten,
Correctly bludgeoned and blotted out
By the fact that you don’t really matter.
You and I will rot like everything else.
293 · Aug 2016
Hollow Heart.
The black granite and marble
Was carved to represent a statue,
Preserving the image my mind created
Inside my hollow heart.
If I could, I’d say things are well,
But like that of the hummingbird
Stuck in my garage,
The feeling of hopelessness and
Eventual depravity,
Will have me dead and petrified,
Not realizing the windows were open the whole time,
My words are but a nuisance
The beating of an insect’s wings.
The hollow walls won’t hold to this ram,
I can’t read your thoughts
But I wish I could glimpse your mind.
It’s funny to think it’s been so long,
I’ve not ever quite felt this peculiar and pleasant way,
I see things in you I’ve never seen before,
Show a caveman a television,
Show me your heart,
The analogy is sound.
292 · Aug 2016
I, Colossus.
I can feel a bull in my chinashop body,
Raging as a rhino internally
I feel as some scapegoat prism
Has replaced my hollow chest cavity.
Everything inside me is broken
And
I Can
Not See
The Light
Trapped in ironic paradox,
I still refuse to believe in life.
I pray, Death to come claim me,
Death release me, from this pathetic retrospect,
I hear whispers beyond the void,
Every mem'ry haunts me as I close my eyes,
At night I dream of content,
But such notions are best weighed in false gods and ****,
My withered heart, but a muscle,
Pumping rot, attached to my sleeve,
All I am is a vessel
Committed to insanity,
Speechless speaks less than you might imagine,
Gathered unified, in greed,
Laconic diatribe in visceral times,
I am your ******* disease.
I’m tortured at night
When I use logic to identify love
Frustrated annihilation composes my composure
I clench my teeth and ******* blood,
SCREAM FOR ME.
287 · Aug 2016
Son Of Perdition.
And nothing makes sense to me anymore,
It all used to seem connected,
Seemingly random occurrences
With an underlying conspiracy.
Yet as I walk about, playing the hand I’m dealt,
It all seems fake.
And I just want to die,
For if all’s true, there’s paradise.
I’m weak, no convictions,
A stuck pariah, son of perdition,
I’ve an evil mind because of what replaced my calloused heart.
Indifference and rage are two of two
Emotions existing here yet through,
I grow tired of these faces,
Weary with apprehension,
Out of my graces,
And hateful of attention.
Exterminate, annihilate, eradicate me,
Leave me out of this creation,
My pity is a dry well,
No sympathy for a societal castration.
I observed the worst in all of us,
Especially in my self,
How can you focus on happiness,
When your own wickedness swells?
**** sadness, I’m hateful,
I prove it with distasteful
Demonstrations of reflected ugliness,
Angry at the world, I have your heart in my fist.
I’m dead to you?
I’m ******* dead to myself,
Burn the corpse and raise up hell,
I’ll make a martyr out of you.
280 · Aug 2016
Sacrifice.
A vast a glorious temple
At its center, a black altar lay,
A ghastly visage,
Nightmare of brighter souls’ dismay,
-
Say your last and come to me,
I will give your life meaning.
So lost were you, that in the end,
Your body I found for its flesh to rend.
-
The Gods have everlasting hunger,
Appeasement must be ingratiated,
They tremble the earth, bloodthirsty,
The Cathedral must be saturated.
-
I vow to stain this ebony room crimson,
If even it takes me all night long,
The Elders speak in muffled whispers,
I swear I will tear through the throng.
-
The Rite, The Sacrifice upon us,
I’ve found the perfect one,
A filthy nightwalker unites us,
Our own ***** Of Babylon.
Clenching both hands about the hilt,
My ritualistic blade awakens,
So wary I am of the evil dagger,
That I hope it is not mistaken,
Down and out, I must cut sternum and sinew apart,
Through the ribs, out the spout, I must acquire her putrid heart,
Her eyes dug out, cornea like cones,
I could stay upon her forever, sleeping to sounds of breaking bones,
I will leave her eagled and free
Until she cannot seem to bleed,
I will lead the sacrosanct
Lobotomy of her sacrifice
There no hope, no other recant,
But to hope you make it to Paradise.
Until every hole on her body swells,
I will conduct for my Gods this Hell.
266 · Aug 2016
Capsized.
My retinas severed one weary, darkened night,
I could no longer stand in my own fright,
My cuticles lost to some melancholy lore
Flipping through pages I used to adore,
The blanching of the atoms, each and every cell within,
I could not hope to pursue what lies therein,
Some weakened, hollow shell of the man I used to be,
I would keep looking for you,
But, alas, I cannot see.
I once thought that my mind would eat itself,
Every forlorn synapse, fighting amongst themselves,
When the doubt came clouded, and my head gave in to rot,
The rain became too crowded, each drop is what I sought,
The creation of this December, so cold and without morn,
Gave birth to iced embers somewhere inside to scorn,
I personified malice and yet still my hatred grew,
All but one living thing I wanted to undo,
I wanted you to see me at my most evil worst,
I wanted you to breathe my name as curse,
But now that I have seceded to the inner most retainer,
I see how worthless the person is your body keeps contained here,
Your **** heart locks love like loose lace,
Spilled wind chills fill your killed embrace,
The frail, pale gales pierce your assailed bones,
As your ****-shining ship sinks, think of home.
265 · Sep 2016
Winds Of Ash.
The wind was but a fleeting rustle,
Tampering with her straightened dress,
She stood in peace atop a hillock
And let go of all she had repressed,
I watched as the breeze found her face,
So soft and pale, so calm and fair,
It lovingly turned her cheeks to ash,
The rest went piece by piece in air,
Like the residual cackling
Of a yet burned log
In a fireplace glowing
To ward the fog,
Her mind found freedom
While I witnessed loss,
Where she found completion,
My eyes did gloss,
I wept like a child in mourning
O'er some sweet dreams and wake,
Yet the idea seemed so alluring
That I wished the wind me take.
So as I walked up the hillside,
And saw her dress on the ground,
I wished for that same feeling,
To be ever one with the shroud,
I took myself to calling,
Quietly in hopes to hear,
A response in turn to me,
So that I may this world clear.
I stood alone for so long,
I had forgotten why I remained,
But a smile found me before too long,
And on the wind, with her, I remain.
249 · Sep 2016
Fractured.
Piece by piece, shard by shard,
Nothing calms my mind thus far,
Intertwisting writs with weight
Do, indeed, rot my thoughts’ sake,
Whereof is this place you seek,
The telltale heaven of which you speak,
Your useless dream, I’m curious,
Let’s not pretend, it’s pretentious,
All the weight of things come gone,
Remaining leagues lost, fathoms undone,
You’ll whither here like everything else,
Your mind, a lie, life never caressed,
Feel free to lose yourself in fantasy,
And pretend it’s not all make-believe,
You’re splintered, fractured,
Broken and shattered,
You’re lost in delusions,
Then again, so are we all,
But I know nothing changes
When we finally fall.
248 · Aug 2016
The Bog.
And as the last thickets of trees die off,
The pass opens to reveal a fetid bog,
The layers of sediment building up,
Should you walk, you’ll sink, forever stuck.
-
It looks as if a storm just passed,
The fog and drizzle will now last,
The dark pines and oaks seem so far away now,
They cast a knowing presence upon this cradle,
This open tomb so endlessly hungers,
The mist, a blanket, completely covers,
It would seem a normal swamp
But in its depths lies only rot.
-
No path trodden or trail here lay
No somber road to lead the way,
Just all things broken to walk astray,
The nights are darkness, the days are gray.
Each sticky, dismal, and frigid eve,
Can one hear the faintest tease,
The promise of someone on the breeze,
Someone left bleeding, to grieve,
Open, bloodshot eyes do stare,
Upon a sooty, blackened mare
Plague’s mount here now does feed on air,
Upon your weakened body shared
By the pain and suffering spent
Across a lifetime of regret
Of each an every prayer sent,
Of all the silence returned with lament,
The putrid ground reeks cold and stale,
Between the thunder and mighty gales,
All sentiment gone, your bones are frail,
Each memory forgotten, tortured, failed,
Each acrid breath you come to take
Just seems to be another mistake,
As if happiness is fake,
Think of every step to make,
Of wanting to rest your tired eyes,
Of your longing protests, your weary cries,
Your voice fails you, mouth so dry,
You cannot even begin to cry,
Stretching on for countless miles,
The surrounding stench so vain and vile,
Is has of yet to offer guile,
If only you could rest a while,
Here creatures lurk with fang-ed teeth
They seek upon you to bend and creep,
Escape, escape, impossible feat,
Admirable, stupid, succumb to defeat,
Trudging on, “woe is me”
An army of one wishing victory,
I’ll allow you hope to find solace in the trees,
But I promise, you will never be free
245 · Aug 2016
Triage.
Trapped, cascaded down upon
That which does there lie along,
I saw the creatures that torture within,
At night they creep in mind, in sin.
My tongue is limited by lack of words,
My head is full of monstrous lore,
A battle inside, the clash of swords,
My body riddled to all but gore,
They haunt my dreams and awakened hours still,
My darkest nights they do yet fill,
Sluggish tongues with eyes cut out,
They yet speak and see to me thereout,
Throats cut deep to their weakened spines,
Windpipes whistling through words entwined,
Trauma to triage, wounded lay
Score by score screaming for day.
No hope.
No peace.
Violence
Til life does cease.
232 · Aug 2016
Night Terrors
Sometimes I wake in bed
Wondering where the **** I am,
Kissing whispered thoughts
Lingering like every word I’ve said.
Each promise kept has had the weight
Of a thousand words like molten lead,
And every summer’s death reflects
Each tear I’ve shed.
A killing season of countless doubts
A sordid, remorseless discourage of clout,
I cannot trust myself again,
I have the same mind as all God’s men,
And in this peace I pray for war,
Something to occupy my altered course,
For boredom is the devil’s playground,
I strive for something, a touch more profound,
In solace I find agony, in agony content,
I wish that I had just one regret,
But in that moment where your own bed feels strange,
I find myself in my mind contained,
What brought me to think I’d been stolen away,
And further, why is it no longer the same day?
What happened to me in my forgotten dreams,
That caused disturbance from my sleep?
Where was I taken, what could I have been shown,
To make this haunted place feel so far from home?
229 · Aug 2016
She Is The Labyrinth.
I’d give anything to see inside your heart,
I wish I knew if I was who you’re thinking of,
I’ve never cared like this before,
Your mind and body I do adore,
But if this were to be something true,
All I want right now is you.
-
Sleeping has long since haunted my thoughts,
For the dreams have scarcely given in wrought,
I seek you out as I wake,
My dear, this maze I cannot make,
I hope that I can open your heart,
I promise never to bring you apart,
I wish for some kind of hint to show
Me how you feel, if your feelings grow,
I want to write a song for you
With your heartrythm as my glue,
I fight through turns and palisades,
I know this maze will be my grave,
And yet I pursue and find the way,
To the Minotaur, your chest emblazed,
I long to hear your voice in sway
At night in my arms to say my name,
I’m yours already, you’ve no idea,
I can’t even determine if I’m still ******* real.
225 · Aug 2016
A Known Unknown.
If ever there was such a night as tonight,
I wish it to be reflected in starlight,
It’s dark and breezy out this eve, my dear,
And the world’s all quiet, nothing to fear.
-
It’s odd to think of how often I lay
Upon my bed reflecting the day,
And once your name and face come to mind,
I get lost in daydreams for quite some time,
Sometimes when I hear you voice,
Something inside just shouts rejoice,
I’m not sure what this means,
But I like it.
-
Further still, as I come to know
You more, it’s hard to stay in tow,
I find myself smiling with every laugh,
Your voice as calming as a palace bath,
My eyes amazed by every photograph,
I hope each word is not the last,
I’m not sure what this means,
But I like it.
-
As I sit and wonder if I’m heading right,
I feel ok without much might,
Because I sort of believe in time,
An idea, more or less, will grow the vine,
I think of all the things so fine,
I would love to be able to see your mind.
I’m not sure what this means,
But I do like it.
215 · Aug 2016
Hard To Say.
The night ‘fore last seems like an age ago,
It’s hard to speak, yet harder to know,
How can I say what hurts so much,
To know it was a mistake as such,
I would tell you that I wished it didn’t happen,
But I’d be a liar.
-
Folded in your arms, I felt I’d seen God,
And only two nights ago I was lost…
Show me how to feel, so I can run,
The pain will stay until it’s done.
I’d say that I don’t love you,
My ******* heart is on fire.
-
Show me what to do
To search the earth for you,
I’ll ask what became of me
After you let me free.
I’ll hope my venom didn’t hurt you as much
As it latched on to me as a crutch,
And I’ll hope to listen to you breathe,
While you’re asleep, deep in dreams,
Your head in my shoulder, my face in your hair,
If life was to end then, I would not care.

— The End —