Oh strange,
Death calls on me.

She wakes me up with a plain stare
I can't believe it,
Started out on a plane
Woke up falling out of the air
They threw me out of the way
Would this nightmare cease to be?
The solid death-grip that holds tight
The strangest message that was never told right
The state of mind isn't parallel
The lines are unequal

Can you, will you speak to me, again?

The sun vanished out of your eyes
It spanned across a vast yet empty horizon
& these unknown trees & separated bones.
A controversy of these empty rows
The rules, the messages.
Don't forget your mind before nine.

Will you understand the book that I write?

It won't add up in your mind
It is impossible to subtract down the time
I've always ****** at math
I guess I'm no essay writer either
Oh well, **** it, **** it, **** everything, man.
& **** everyone!

I've just about ****** over and ****** everyone
Thirty-five plus all the others
That time has stolen from my mind
So much darkness surrounds my life.

I'll take that final step tonight. . .

Things are not now as they have always been
People change when the times get strange
Could you have been there?
Still stolen - frozen in fear
Taken far back by the moment
Her silent violence broke my fall
His violent silence made me want to **** them all
Get the details of the life to be taken and then go missing
Take all of your remaining pills and drown in serenity
I found the only cure for fate . . .

Let go of everything
            and wait
  for love to take
          its final shape

The people
They move
They slide
So smooth
Behind the bar
Around the bar
Moving far
Out of bounds
Around the town

I like to watch people
Watch them as they move about the room
Completely consumed
With the feeling or sense
Of the full moon
Throw it all away
They are sweating it out
Bleeding it dry
Speaking too loud
To remember the next day
Or what was said despite
The rambling actions
Of my sorry head
The walking dead
That's what they are
Zombies!
Zombies?
******* there's no such thing
There is only misplaced actions
In interrupted scenes.

****** mess it is:
All of it;
All of you mother *******.

Inside the hall
Of mirrored scars
The images make
Hollow words stain the
Mind to the core.

My only way out is through
Thoughts of your eyes, but
Often they flood the
Reflection of us, on and
Off of the screen
Of our broken window.
The foundation shakes out
Shiny pieces of good times
Hidden inside of the
Walls of our rusty filing cabinet.

Stained with old tears and fears
With no clear sight of
The things that brought me here

****** shame it is that the
Residue is still stuck in place there.
From ashes to car crashes
Your('e) feeling like this just might be your
Last chance to say anything back.
Kiss it away.

All
At
Once

It
Will
(Dis)*appear.

What
          are we,

                       but
            dead
   and dying leaves.

                                                       Swimming back -
                                                       Yearning for the warmth again.
            Second year without the
                                                  Spring(s)
                                                                ­  In my heart.

Sister's turning. . .
T̶w̶e̶n̶t̶y̶,
More years ahead
Than
Behind; our bent hands

                                         Can write. . .
                                               Or scratch The
                                                                ­          tiniest .holes.
                                                         ­                 In our minds.
                            While m̶i̶s̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶t̶o̶m̶s̶                                                 
     ­                                                             and stolen organs are
                                                                ­         Attempting to find that
                                                            ­             One perfect meaning
                                    That seems to be
                                                              ­           Right there.
                                                       ­                                           Off of the east coast,
                                                          ­   You know?
         Right out of reach.
                                   Beyond your misunderstanding and
                                        Way past the point of freezing.

But there is never
                        Any                                   turning                                      back.

We still   h
                   a
                     n
                        g
             On    by
                   a
             t
           w
           i
         g.

  Our last seed
Is                          out there,
      somewhere.

             You haven't lost it. . .
                                                   But,
The message is not what it means.

                                             I guess
                                                  That, that
                                                            ­is why

                                                            ­                                            We are
                                                             ­                                                        The dead
                                                          ­               and dying leaves.

On this soggy morning,
I am back to the shell of the man
That walks these treacherous halls
With nothing but the solemn cause
On my mind that is the only reason
Of why I put myself into this hell.

I hate that I can't figure it out for you

Today, the sky is grey
And I can still see
That you are okay
With knowing that
We will not make it
Out of here alive!

And then there will be
The blue people
In their little vans
Coming up fast
To hold our hands
While they gather up the last
Crafty pieces of our skulls
And the hard faced woman
Will stand still when
Noticed or breathed upon

Like a diamond watch
Or a golden lock
To keep me out
Of the Kingdom of Heaven

I am too worthless to fly away
But I can see the tops of the mountains
As I lay dying on this hard face
Of the wicked woman that placed me here
In this pine box to die as the chosen one
For those who will remain lost.

So long hollow man,
I know you not.

I will never cease to
   be released to
      the underworld
         above your cloud
In your ****** hair
   the sand says to
      stay slightly shady
        and wave quietly to
           the ghosts on shore
Friends and demons
   Crash on the collapsed dunes
      I'll wait for you
         To marry the sky
            In the silence of the wind
Lady of the night
    Stray the sunshine away
        Glass shards in my red eyes
            Cans of old beer are there
               Still in the grass
I'll be sitting in the memory
    Of the sun from yesterday
        Today's little smile in the night
            Your precious hands carry me there
I wonder why I never tried
   Harder and harder our stone got
        While it was drenched in the rain
            As the trees fell down
               My two palms were set ablaze
We sent up a smoke signal
    To the God(s) in heaven or the hell
        In your life, seven lives, two lines

The otherside will show us a certain door
Where the people all live equally and infinitely

Time still turning around the clock
Ever so violently, scream at me some more
You never bother to stop
Or even emboss the impossibility
Of the negativity that they desire
To keep on achieving
Brand new human stains on the rug
They constantly mean mug us
As shoulders pass and touch
Reaching arms and fingers to find
The unusual line inside my fragile mind
Suppose that there was such a meaning
Behind this page or sometime before today
The words – I just can’t seem to grasp
The beeping sentences come from the erasers dust
Taking you away from me, my love
Moon mail, no mail, no male figure form
Only the hollow, shadowy figures home
Repeating his emotions and sad tones
*******, ******* and more *******
Speak again . . . say the word again
A word, again will change him and then
It could change me from what I see
Or would it be my utter insanity?

I believe that if you know it
Then there is no need to prove it
It bleeds through your words
It shines when you curse

Aloud. . .

The faster I live, the faster I’ll die
To be forever freed from this wicked life. . .

The words flow
Overflow the brain and tongue
Come out like a machine gun
A million miles a minute
In your mind
The time isn’t right for you
I don’t understand this
I want to be the one to show you
The sideways streets of the heart strings
Or how my heart sings
In and out of time with the bass beats
That flash the lights
In and off of your sweet eyes
Last line
I want to see you again
I want to take you off and then
You finish the rest…

Here it is
One twenty in the morning
AM – Andy McElroy
Not tired yet, mind is racing
I had to leave that house
Energy is was too strange
Maybe it’s just me
Yeah most likely
Strange like me
Black like me
**** that book
**** this book too
This entry from hell
You’re from hell
I guess I’m going there too
****… We should’ve found a better reason
To fall through with the question
Of an unopened truth
Please try and explain these to the world
Let them see
The… the pure, uhm… insanity of this thing
This tortured mind that can barely write
A ******* poem if his mind depended on it
I’m glad that I don’t depend on them
Actually I lied, I do
They lead me to the lead gun
To shoot my clip out onto the town of hate
That I hate so much
Hate is a strong word
But I’m sick of them both
And them too
**** this ****
I think I’m through with this too

I love you.

There once were things to talk about.

On a Sunday.
One gave a feather
The other gave a finger.

Give it for nothing.
(Smile for the camera!)

Loving a God like
Thing; is it real?
Is God a friend,
Or a burning bush?
Like the end I've split
I forgot how to end it. . .
That's my luck.

Oh, I gave you a chance
And you said, "God, not again."

But, you know I can't dance
Well enough, on to the next one!

But where are you now?
I question.

There has been
*One too many. . .

Sky fall for me
Press out the stealing springs, see?
Push/pull closing doors
The sky is coming down sooner or later
Help me find a way
As far as it goes
They aren’t concerned with me
Anymore

Walk with me now
I’m done with this door, for now.
The milky drops from heaven
Aren’t stopping me
From finding a cause
For this unsteady clause

Behind the walls
Their faces combine and align, and then fall.
To forget about the time
When I was important
Replaced artwork
Stolen face
Ripped from my memory
****…

I guess that’s the price I pay
For trying to find a way… to you
The days will roll on
& I’ll soon be gone

Dead or alive
We will never survive
Dead and gone
The year’s stager on

You’ll fade away

I have had to **** you dear

Deer in the forest
Woods of my life
It was the
Closest I'd ever been to love
A fleeting glimpse
Shadows about the grey tents
Words caught on a hook
That shouldn't have been spoke
Into the ears that we pierce
On the street below the balcony
Or something that was in the way

I'm tired of losing this battle
The enemy at the gates
Behind me is crying
Because I can't be saved

But,

I'm not afraid of the ghost
The ghost is not afraid of me
I am the ghost that you fear
You are the one
That I must ****, dear

I hate it
The days in between
The milestones
That have been carved
Out of my bones
I hate it

When the shade hits my back
When can we go home?

I'll phone your best friend and
Tell her that I've always loved you
But her image has since disappeared
I lost you, out in the wilderness
The memory is not so clear
Anymore

Why didn't you come back?
Was his flesh enough to fill the hole
In your little life?
The cut across my neck
Bleeds and pours and sings for more
Of the taste of rust (iron blood)
From the knife
I once gave you there

So why don't you just **** me off, dear?
Like a deer in the forest
Hiding in the woods of my lie
The creator Is nauseous
I drank too much last night

Insomnia goes hand in hand with amnesia
What was I talking about?
Again. . .

Suddenly,
We were appearing
Out of the north
In the sky
Out of the dark
In between the scenes
Of night, in the city
Of bright lights
Out of nowhere
You appeared
Into the atmosphere
Like a spirit
Up above
In between
The sky
And the stars
The night
Out there
In the moment
The movement
Sky-lit drive
Into the moonlight drive
Into your heart that's mine
Disappear
Now into the mighty night

Oh mother Mary, no
Bring the fires to your doorstep
There’s a piece of you that I kept
In a little black hole
In the side of my heart
He thinks
Crooked are those that pay their taxes
Upside down makes me sick
Downtown there are cars in crashes
Sliding hastily
In the rain
With poison in the clouds
The party was loud
to many people faking
Their own death
right in front of you, but
What are you to do?
Just sit there and stare at your "boo"
HAHA
**** who?
*******.
**** me?
we'll see
about that
Second coming of Judas
Priest doesn't understand me
he thinks I'm like the man in the tree
But I'm a man you can't see
You'll never see
Cover it up with all the ink you can
Ugly doesn't go away
Get your own life
Stop sweating me coward
Let’s think, Hours
From now
I can be gone
Away afar up high
With no guys
Just she’s with me
Not you
so *******
I'm getting this ****.
done.

We softly spoke
                              after the fact;
        The reasons
Were *limited.

I told ambitious lies
&
Dreams of stories from past lives

Breathed out months ago
In the moths wing down below

From here to eternity

All will be remedied in remembrance

If I could just remember
how it went again
things would be different and
I could go back to the way things were and
then it may be quite possible to
breathe again, breathe again; maybe quite possible to breathe again, breathe again

I’ve been living in sin and I can’t quite keep up with what I’ve been living in
All this momentum is keeping me thin
Drinking again - still drunk and I’m not giving a **** about you or us

Watch me spin

Out of control
Out of control

Into your arms
Of sweet release and emptiness
The emptiness is eating my skin
Eating away at my better half

Let me loose so I can begin to sin again

Love:

Like a chance
I blew it.

Your birthday is over and
The candles have
Met your cake
To *kiss each other
Once more before
Meeting the eternal yard
Of broken hearts
and past wishes.

A past-time
Breathed out.

Another
Trashcan journey
For (me without) you.

Numbers mean nothing
Anymore.

Next Sunday
We will burn *our last sunrise.

Are you ready for. . .

This morning,*

I confused a moving car
For a running fox squirrel
This is a problem to me. . .
This ****** city is bleeding its
***** blood over my eyes and its
Making me anxious to take that first step up
Up the rain soaked stairs to that quiet home
Upstairs on the dead floor

Not another living soul but me

In this clearing mo(u)rning
The trees still cry out
From over a thousand acres of land
“God’s good earth is leaving!”
I am leaving then!

I’ve said it before*

I’ll push the start early
Just to see it end and crash
Before I can ever get out alive

Watch me bleed over this
This abandoned concrete wall
All over these hollow ******* halls
These imposing empty skyscrapers that pierce
Her skies and my eyes still see you

I will call you out
This will be my final move
Never again will I be back
I will never return to you

The ferocity of my wrath on this feral city
Will start again after the next one hundred days.

It was the longest night of my life
I had finally reached the end of the waterfall
Long since dark, a few hours after nine
And there it was;
A shadow in the green, yellowy fog
Does my mind play tricks on me?
Most of the time, but not this time
I was certain of what I saw . . .

The first day after the attack
I left the bodies of my loved ones
Six feet underground
Behind the old shack

I took the boat down through the trees
Off the beaten path, down the hill
Into the world that would soon be
My own.
My home.

The wind was strange that day
There was a certain smell that hung about the air
Like a sweet and silent decay
A haunting thing to stop me there
The memory passed, I carry on

But the feeling remains . . .

It was a few skips down the river
Where the first house found me
Barely standing,
                           like everything else remaining . . .

Oh, how the fear crept up and down my spine
The sight was a sight unbelievable.
How could he have survived?
and dare to intrude on my life.
It was then up to me,
                         to lead him to the light.

     You think you could be a killer in the old world?
     Like say, you were watching some lame *** action movie
     With some gnarly assassin, or kung fu master
     Slaying everyone and everything, and then getting all the girls.
    
     Yeah I could see myself doing that . . .
     You have to know,
     You have to have killed in order to have made it this far,
     Are you okay with that?
     Does it help you sleep at night knowing that you've taken a life?
    
     You want to know something . . .
     It's alright with me
     I've been told from the voice below . . .
     The king downstairs
     Gave me eternal life
     A little vile from of all that is vile.

     **** this.
    
     Light brings salvation.

How could it be?
I could not imagine a way
The image of another lost soul
Hung up on the rotting wall
Her remains remained locked up so long
I took another hit. Headache blends
The memory passed, I carry on

But the feeling remains
For the next few days
I kept the image there on the wall
Until the fire started . . .

I decided to walk to the fire
As I reached the flames
There a figure appeared in the funeral pyre
"Hello!" I shouted . . .

Just then the fire deceased
Extinguished & cold.
Just as my heart was

But how could this be?
There was a fire!
I guess the smoke got to be too much
For their souls to live here now
I carry on, the memory passed
But the feeling remains . . .

That night the wind was colder than ever
I thought of her smile and wished she was here
The memory flashed and it was beautiful
I could see it all! Astral projection.
But the feeling remained; the feeling of fear.
I couldn't help but think of the evil I done.

How could I have done what I had done?

Awake.
What the **** happened last night?
Where am I? Where is my mind?
The room was destroyed and it smelled of the smell
The scent that loomed in the air on the first day
It's ******* freezing . . . My hands are ******* frozen
My eyes are solid shut shutters.
Where is my coat?

I thrashed around the house to see what I could feel
But the memory would not leave me still
Where did all this blood come from?

My God . . .


It's me . . .


A strange wave of euphoria swept over my body
I lost a piece of myself somewhere along the way
This I knew for certain.

Where was my coat?
The air that day was so cold
A bright light flashed and I knew
That I was in for it

The air around me had suddenly vanished
The sun that once hung in the sky
Had now vanquished

I have become comfortably numb

When would the feeling return?
The sweet memory had left my mind
But why?

Why could I not return?
When would the sun return?
When would her spirit return?

Could it be in death?
Or in a life not yet lived
The memory had left,
I cannot carry on
But the feeling somehow still remained

It was the longest night of my life
I had finally reached the end of the waterfall
Long since dark, a few hours after nine
And there it was;
A shadow in the green, yellowy fog
Of course my mind plays tricks on me
Most of the time, but not this time
I was certain of what I saw . . .

The outline of her ghost.

Oh, what I would give
To just, kiss those sweet lips
Or to
Feel her soft skin under
My calloused fingertips
And the shaking of her small hips
The pressing of her tight hands
On my sparrow chest

My God
It’s delicious. . .

The skin of her neck
Matches that
Of the skin
On her thighs
It is smooth and reflective
Just as the naughty night.

Is one kiss enough,
To bring this to life?

Or should we walk
Hand-in-hand?

And disappear into only
Into the moon's sight. . .

I just can't seem to shake this off
Her beauty has burned my heart
Oh how I wish I could scream it loud
But dear God, That would tear me apart
Her life is a brilliant light
That opened the night, to reveal the truth inside
It made my memories real
For it was my heart that she would steal
A theft, so silent in the dark
But a girl so lovely could definitely leave a mark
She spoke and made time stand still
A hopeless victim of an accidental ****
A lonely man waiting for a girl

Breath deeply and take a step back
All of my words just turn to black
It is such a pleasure to meet you love
Seems I've been searching forever
I've been living so empty my love
For as long as I can remember
You are much more beautiful in person
My dreams were so deceiving
I will love you girl
Even after my heart stops beating

A dark hallway brings your love to my captains quarters
It stops time in its tracks, and makes this last forever
Soft breathing, your grip is so tight
I will **** the sun when it tries to end the night
Bless me with a kiss dear, just one of your kisses
You can stay here, and wait for the world to finish.

Does that sound like a plan to you?
Or am I just lying.

The walls are breathing
They all have eyes
They know my every weakness
They bring me to the light

Keep me still, in these changing times
In the middle of the night
Lay me down, just close my eyes
I don't want another night

Like this...

I too have felt this change come
It sometimes leaves me broken
It feels like no one else does
It brings me closer towards the sun

Heavy is the heart that keeps the crown
Her signs are showing
Golden apparitions flowing silently through her hair
Just before the sun meets the ground

I was in the air.
She wasn't there.
This sudden movement that we've made
Will hopefully one day make a change

In your life and in mine

A silent song to keep us along
A worthy cause left us to carry on

I’m falling into the shapes of this room
The monster down –
                             the –
                            stairs –
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                     now behind me

my eyes barely open                                                          sti­rring – stinging – sleeping

underneath the closing doors
                                                           ­                 their lying eyes in and on my flesh

                                                          ­       the house is on fire

                                                       -her brain is closing down-


Heavenly               ghost                              grab                          ­         my                                               throat
Throw      me                   down                to               the                   end                of                 the            rope
Or                 to                  the                                        end                   ­       of                        the               road
Downstream        in                        the             ­    gleaming                          gloaming                back-dr­ifting
A                                                w        ­                                                             a                                                 y


                                                     Give me a taste of your venom
                                                           ­                                             delight
        ­                                               Come back to the wilderness
                                                      ­                                                  night
     ­                                                        Bring me love only in the
                                                             ­                                           quiet
            ­                                                                 ­                           times
                            ­                                            Stay until morning  
                                                       ­                                             
                                                                ­              Let the stars
                                                         ­              Replace the scars
                                                         ­                    and the dreams
                                                        ­              Replace the screams

                                
                                                                ­                                             - your last words will not be heard -
                                                               ­                                           your miserable life is not what it seems
                                                           ­                                        - it’s only what it isn't and is all it will ever be -

The sky may be grey today
Just blink your eyes and I’ll appear
In the lightening crack – boom!
There was a time when I almost lost my way
Would you believe me if I told you?
Could you lead me to the end?
My dear, shy eyes…

Let us not be the ones that fall
But instead the ones that go
& shine on like the star you wish to afar
Or the moon that you so carefully crafted;
In my eyes…

Whichever one you prefer my dear
Or the both of them; or neither.

How was that night after the spark?
Could you even speak a word?
Did my memory creep in through the dark?
Did it help you engrave me in yours?
The thought of another door open…

And what about your dream within a dream
Would you be able to describe it?
I will stand beside you
You’ll see the passing stars arise
Whenever you’re afraid to step out
Take my hand, take my hand
I’ll lead you to the end

Let your friends wonder
What a beast of a man
A real ******-up piece of art
Could you let it fade?

To one day, possibly go away

Has anything changed?
Or will this always stay the same?

Oh yes, it is here again--
Let it remain
Let it seethe in the night
Let me be inside
Complete my life
Let me continue to read your thoughts
Re-read the story of the world
The universe will unfold around you
So let it,
Let it be!
So entirely complete
I wonder if I will ever see the light again
I am not all that worried about the thought
Shouldn’t be
Although;
You wonder,
When will I come back?
When will I come down?
I don’t think I can
It’s not possible to burn out
If you were never on fire
When were you ever burning?
Burning to live like the fireworks
You so cleverly crafted,
In the womb of the American dream.

Go to sleep.
No. No. No.

Ghosts in the trees
There are ghosts in the eaves
Of the houses I sail past
In the memories at last
Forgotten
No more wretched letters
That I have written
In spite of the curse you cast
A long time ago
The witches were right
They didn’t know my name or my might
Leave me along the road
Alone I’ll stumble
Alone I’ll crumble
Too weak to speak
The words left a while back
Out there in the ocean deep
Purple waves in striped layers of film
I see passing the ways of my weary eyes
The days passing my aching back
On the woody wooden white water well
I left the secret that you asked me
Well I must be on my way
Across the universe
Across the universe
Write down the sweetest verse
I could sing to you
There
The silent reproach
Of a million stacked waves
Of a million thoughts raised
Out of the ground
Questions remain
In the tear stained floor boards
Of the house that once stood
Aboard the ship that has since sailed past
Along the way I stopped to study the orchids that bloomed before me
I dreamt of an angel that night
Just as I had before the night before the night before
The night before me
Left me there
In my bed
Longing.

For the sea below me
Knows me
Calls me
Loves lonely
See?

I have been sorry.
Nevermore.

There is a storm on the horizon
The winds have picked up
And lifted the thoughts out of everyone
There is no more sane order
Or country line border
The circuits have blown their mainframes
The frameworks aren’t adding up
You tried…
Yeah, I tried
You probably cried
When the winds took up the roof
Above you the sky seems so unclear
But it looks like clear heaven to me
These dark grey skies of redemption
Saving my every word ever written
Save your selfish *******
That wasn’t my intention
I just parted ways with the storm
She took her path of destruction
And I lie here awake in eruption
Hello, no thank you
Goodnight don’t wake me
I thought that you wouldn’t see me
So don’t talk to me
She’s so happy
You’re all mad
Be in the moment
Not in the thought
Not in the bag
I want this to be locked up
But in reach of the arms that want
The blue sky
They need it
They need a ****** up story
The last poem
Just one more poem she said
And then I can **** you off
In my head


She said...

Summer clouds
Summer dreams
The nights, they seem
So eternal. Inferno
Burning like an American spirit
Natural birth out of your
closed mind
Fun guy, huh?
Find the life underneath
Black water like
These only open eyes of mine
Yesterdays gone.

And you are forgotten.

The words will start to flow
They will begin to conform more and more
Through the tissue and brain matter
That I have left
All scooped up into an ice cream mess.
I fell into your dying scream distress
Disaster, destroyed, dismiss
Everything that ****** you off
Scream out loud or continue to talk

Lay me down, tell me now
What it was you were asking.
You're such a mess
A wreck, an accident
Lie again
Lie to me so sweetly
Beside me, the key
The secret, the mistake in life
Yours not mine
My mistake not yours
Your life not mine

Come down and find me
Above you

She spoke for the last time
that evening...

I lost my breath;
Her voice stole it away

I fell apart;
Into pieces

When the final word was spoke,
What a thing to say

Our time spent - was a good one
I left a life unknown in the desert

So when earth realigns with the sun
I’ll be a solar son

Spinning around in line
Like a top out of line

In a circle, going around and around in my eyes
Those that see only despise and
Unconcern of the things learned

I learned another thing
About heart ache and how the stake
Can drive so deep down into heart break

I am everything that I thought
Your fire under the barn
In the woods

Unknown now...

An unstoppable force.

Here we go.

We suddenly have run out of words
to throw at each other
and enough trash bags to fill them with.

Riots start over heart strings
while
Lightning bolts slash my left ear

I don’t see
I won’t sing about sinking
I don’t care about feeling
The ocean
Anymore

I want to run
I want to fight
I want the blood to rush through my eyes
and out back into the gross reality
Of the street spit shoe shine alley
That I sold those trips out of
Then tripped out of sight.

No more money for ashes
Take bubble baths to try and relax
Pay your taxes and stop laughing
You don’t have any idea.

****, I’m a walking talking force of nature
Baby ***** and I can say whatever the **** I want
and there is nothing that your president
or government can do about it.
Remember the first through the tenth.

So ******* and your happy-now-sad
backwards *** and elephant show
Your sloppy walk home with a red faced bottle of gin
and blue tongue grin
No time to panic!

You told me to play fair;
So go get the drugs and let’s have a food fight.

Tonight you’ll see the kids out,
Then you’ll choke on your thoughts
and run out of the perfect words
To throw at my head;
When the lights go out
So will the world.

With a click-bang
dead.

Silence.

I'm still here, but I'm not.
I'm struggling to spit out the broken pieces
of yesterdays wrongs.
That devil that loves me so
He rings in at his own pleasure.
Gives the man at the door a hundred dollar bill
and moves in.

Crushing, captivating
Unfathomable, unraveling
I'm ******* useless. . .
Hello, goodbye
Welcome, Welcome
You're just in time
I'm sorry that you made it here
But you're just in time
To see my seven worlds collide.

The silent crimes between you and I. . .
The other story that was never told. . .

I love to watch my world be destroyed
It take me seconds of a march
and I can spring into it like the thirteenth day of April
or in another thirteen days, we'll see if we're able.
The final day on earth.

Leave me now too.
Explore the the expansive explosion that is my mind
The thoughts that were open, now torn away, so kind.
Maybe the grim reaper is near
I wonder if I'll see him today. . .
Or in the perfect silence that splits this room in two
Into a vast plain of nothingness,
Or into the dark void of consciousness.

Just don't fall in too deep, or you'll never make it back alive.

Like a wave of cancer
it swept over me
and I couldn’t answer the question
yet again
it penciled me in
a stairway by the door
I was watching the clock
tick slowly away
and I’m still here somehow
stuck in the madness
the night I figured out
that one day this just might return
back again in the hallway
I decided to open up
I changed my mind
No luck on that side
So until then I’ll keep on swimming
Until I find my way
Through your ocean of sickness

Let’s see...
What is this?

These premonitions are coming true
My eyes do not deceive me
The world before these broken hands is falling
Its falling down
But you can't see it yet
The make believe dreams of yesterdays sorrows
Are all I have left
They are all I have left
I guess I'm just destined to walk this world forever alone
Forever hollow
Forever without a home
**** the memories that I had as a child
They are meaningless to me now
**** the sad story that I have left to tell
Its all burnt out like my brain
So when I finally go insane
Remember the message hidden in between the letters that scream out your name
I will find you
I will follow you into the dark

Lie still now
Speak never again
In this hall

With no doors.

I remember, I remember
The fall that splintered
into your eyes...
Our kiss goodbye
Your first time and my last night
Everything is alright

It’s alright
if we shudder,
I’ll stutter
every time you walk by

The legs and your neck,
My teeth; stuck in between
The curtain and the chimney
It’s not what it means

Do you see?

Let me lay down now
Let me see what’s at store
I wanna see your bluebird fly
I want to tell you what it’s for

It’s all for nothing!
Oh no,
Not now...
Not when!

Maybe things will be different then
Maybe I’ll look like a stranger that you once knew
Maybe you’ll begin to wonder
What it is about you

What is it?
It’s
death stranding

Leaving me lost in a fog
that was never there.

Where have you been?
Someone must have died or something.
The end could not lie about the others,
They could only see what was there before your birth.

The fast death of a politician
The eternal birth of a caged bird

A single moment in history that completed
the story that was unknown.
An unknown ending to the portrait
that was burned before completion
and the error that was caused after
the burn.

Would it bleed?
Could it form to be an answer?

So speak of the scent
that flows through my hands
every time you greet me on this holy land
And every time I kiss you
under these stars that have yet to show you
the stock pile of ammunition that they have stored up
to send us to Mars and back.
It's an amazing story.

A long awaited awakening for the sleeping beauty.
The instant unexpected death of the crimson beast.

Midnight samurai's and early morning assassins
Will die before our love will.

Just lie still
                    &            
                       you'll see it.

I'll curse your name forever
Like a Bible thrown from
A broken balcony in the shady Havana

Low-life carpet roach
Approached me around noon
Or so I assumed

The absent minded assault
On ******* gun control

Laws or branches
Ripped from the
Family

Tree; besides myself
Beside myself

a ghost

The reflection on the door
Your hallway
Is a paradox

Choose *****,
                                  hardtimes,
                         lose,
                                                     ****(s)
                                       bad

It's so abusive
                          his language
His usage
                     a strand of hair
                                                 in a book
upstairs;                                                                      three

                                                        more times
                                                        more tunes
                                                                                                      Can you see it?
                                                                                                      Can you bee?

I wonder where I’ll be when you come down...

Could you even think to speak?
To explain the actions behind such a disastrous act
With the words that I speak
They are held on my tongue
            
                                             ­   I should have ripped his head off

Watch the blood from my eyes slide down inside
and fill you up with the irony ironic blood that you chose
                                                           ­               So when the door is closed and you can’t go back
                                                       Smile loud and sing out somehow to somewhere out of town
                                                            ­                      to the distant lands of my youth and re birth

This is your brain without me
                                                  Rotten to the stem
                                                  The core is empty

Tattoo your ******* face and lose your job that was never there
Turn around click undo but don’t forget them there
they held you up once

She did find me in the wicked night
Sinning about the city
Living in and around the city
                                                     I should have killed him when you had no chance

This may come as a shock to you all
But I’m done here or there
                                            Or anywhere

I’m done with the light that once shined so bright in my eyes
It is now a vacant home for the demons to return
Enjoi my dreams and fears, demon ******
Take all of my sleep and drink it down with your pills
Split my back open and let me forget how to fall perfectly still


                                                                          Give up Andy
                                                                        You will not win





                                                                           I will rise up
                                                                       But only in the end

Down is the new up;

How ****** is that?

It's all twisted around into this sickness that everyone enjoys

This mass hysteria to be weak minded

To be a piece of flesh prying off of the shin bone onto the fence post

The pain feels so good; the hurt is almost too easy


Watch as the ground swallows my blood

It takes it in to add to the collection of the centuries that fought for us

I fought for us and slowly drowned in the undertow that took you away before

The light did and I can not be afraid of this being that lives in my mind.

I feel as if I must die tonight for this to ever be anything more

Than a waste of time or for my life to be a waste of time.


But then will someone come and take my place?

The keeper of the black heart in which you so bestow.


I felt pain creep in and I stumbled naked down the hall to the bathroom where there would be no doors
                      
                          to hold me back from the other side of this world that I do not yet know.


                     Until tomorrow my love,
    
                                                               You will never know. . .

                                        My love until the tomorrow, which I will never know.

I came back down to watch you play
I had to see what I was going to miss
Or what I was in for…

My secrets aren’t so locked up in the abyss of my mind
They have been on display for years

Who would have thought that you’d be here?
In this exact moment with these infinite people

They never stop.

But they won’t keep coming back for more
When everything is left drained and empty
What is on the other side of the dark?
Where have you been for so long?
Shameful and weary of the sun
I am going to the other side of mourning
Find me in the far side of the graveyard

But don’t get to close…

They are near and they watch my every move
Keep them at bay so that I can run away
And never be seen again
I’ll never be back again
As long as this beating in my chest persists
I won’t be back
Keep the screaming to your self
Maybe it will do you some good
But my head is up above the clouds
I see her fall
I wonder…

No.

I’ll never.
Watch the world through your eyes
Mine have seen enough
Keep the screaming to your self
I will do you no good
Shut the ******* door
Let’s turn back the pages
And remember where we are

Let’s forget about the years and leave them all to fall.

He walks

He thinks of nothing else

But the thought of a dream

Once had as a child

Burning the seams in which he is crafted of

Losing something dear in life will travel with you

But being afraid of fear

Will surely let you die

We will be sure and let you leave in peace

Alone like the largest tree

Sitting atop; tell me what you see

Does heaven really have green?

Will you be alright to be?

Alone on the rocky sea

Or forever tied to this land

A hollow man.


Let me know when you get there.

And now all these faces are aligning
To present their smiles to me
Her bloodshot eyes were there to greet mine and,
here we stand on the edge of this city
I watched as the feeling made way through her cold fingers
They were colder than my heart, If you could imagine
She waited all night, for the gift that he would bring her
But he'll never show, and my love is wide open
For this ghost in the shell has a voice too
I would die just to reach out and touch her
But her skin, It glows blue
My body, Oh how it burns for her love
In this circle of hell
There is but one angel among all these demons
She lives right next door in that room in my head
Oh, the pain it stings my lungs
Smothers my coughs
Blankets my cold
She saved my worthless soul
The way she obtained her goal
With such carelessness and joy
It burns me alive
Freezes my insides
One day I know she'll see
That she is my woman indeed
All the way from his hollow eyes
To the spot where the last ******* page lies
To present you with this gift and my name
Wait to open it, at the end of my game

And I swear. You will never love again
Oh, your starry eyes will never perceive a better man.

I wonder about the true shape of her body
The curves and swoops of it
Curves and then swoops around mine
And it makes me wonder about
The true shape of her body

Mouth open wide with
The eyes right behind
Mine and you’re
Behind my eyes
With a mouth wide open

Clothes pinned up and back
Out of the way
Night falls and I repeat myself
And turn myself back inside out

I love the feeling
Of your sunset on my ocean bay

The orange hands of your rays
Enter the bluish green spans
Of my salty waves
And then leads me back
Into the gentle night
When we took our last breaths