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...
Andrew McElroy Nov 2018
...
Death.
A stranger in the woods -
Waiting in the pines

What is on your mind?
Have you finally come to see me,
Is it really my time?

Is this star shine not mine?
I’d hoped for just a few more weeks.
I’ve seen your face before,

Your glare from the shore,
The tingling in my eyes...
I remember you -

Old unknown friend;
Please, tell me that this isn’t the end
The door is opened again...

You and I are the calm below.
The unknown caller on the line.
Please don’t let it be my time!

I don’t need to answer that call...
Not yet,
Not now.

My friend,
This is not the end.
Andrew McElroy Nov 2011
Oh, I can see your eyes

Searching out across this silent room

Looking close by for someone

That may understand you

Oh, I can feel your eyes

Peering over every secret spot of my body

Needing to be moved by someone else lately

Can you see my eyes?

These eyes of a blackened mind

Wandering, lost somewhere in time

Can you feel my eyes?

Tearing off each thread of cloth

From your body of gold

To the earth from the stars

You are reeling in this love

You are pulling at this heart



Love,



I wonder if they can see our eyes…

Giving each other time,

To admire the smiles given in between

You left so fast I had no time to speak

My words all left so fast

Just so that you wouldn’t leave

Don’t fall away from me

Please fly away



Amazing,



I won’t lose you again.
Andrew McElroy Nov 2012
I enter through the gate
Into the woods
There is death everywhere
This is roughly how it will go
You can make changes in another life

Loaded shotgun in hand
Not for any particular reason
Or because I am scared
It’s just because
I go back to the old saying
That my father instilled in me

“Never enter the woods, without a loaded gun.”

I continue. . .

                                                              ­                                                        Heavy footsteps in the dead leaves

There is something up ahead
That it is and what it is
I am not sure. . .

The ground is still wet
There was serious damage after that storm
Just like there is after every storm

                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                   Fog smoke

I've approached it now
The night was covered in red
Delicious blood red

The shells rattle together in my pocket
The only thing left with still connection
I hear something fall behind me, make that twice

Spider webs in my vision

Tire tracks on the ground; fresh, strange

Another spider web in my vision

It’s a wasteland down here. . .
I think I need a cigarette
Click, click inhale
Love it, die

Mosquito death
Nicotine buzz
If I stop now
I’ll die in the flood.


-Pause-


Shotgun blast; exit wound
The entry way is opened now
Come take a look inside he said

What’s next?
What’s around the bend?
Another fallen tree,
Or another empty me?

                                                            ­                Heavy footsteps in the leaves, heavy breathing underneath.

Another dark shadow
Another spider web in my view
I know that this ground is hallow
From all the memories of me and you.

The stone takes off now
It quickly rolls away
Just like you did,
and just like I am today.

                                                         ­                 At the bottom of the hill I see the sunset in a whole new way.

No more grey skies
No more bland colours
Only the singing blue jay
Only the beautiful day

I'll see you again
On the fifth of May.
Andrew McElroy Jan 2012
Wait, the sun is coming
She is rising to my eyes
They are falling from existence
I am growing a hate for this persistence
Lying back in an open field
I fall short of what I thought was real
Should've kept an easy head
Just kept on talking about big ideas
Left behind what I thought was correct
and put in something else to cover it
Paint the town red
With my blood
Color their dreams and shut them out
You can't get enough
Live for their lives and never feel a thing
Too numb from the contact
                                               come back
Come back from the false reality in which you live
You'll go to hell for what your ***** mind is thinking
You'll live in a false array from how you're living
                                                calm down
Calm down those hurried thoughts
Breathe in your last few breaths of us

The fire is beginning to freeze
It's beginning to freeze
                                                 almost home
You are almost home
They can't feel you anymore
All souls can't come back when the fire is to hot
Some just choose to live the life
Burning alive in the flames of their lies
Got to keep an open mind
Have to keep one open eye
On the last day of July
I fell for her sunshine
It cost me an hour of my time
What a simple thing to gain
Nothing to waste but a week of her time
It will come back with the passing fall
Let's hope no one calls
Go away in the last summer of this year
The first summer of my life
It feels good
I feels good
I feel good
I feel God
I fell, Go.
Now just go for it!
Take what you have and learn your own life
Keep the knife by your side
The whispering ghost will ask
"Where have you gone?"
and
"Where are you going?"
"Do you know me?"
or
"Will you die by the fire of your lies?"

Don't.

Don't be a victim in the battle of love
In the war of webs from the basement
The light shines through the undertow
I am what I am and that's all I know
.
Andrew McElroy Sep 2018
How many
years had it been?

I
couldn't
remember...
wow. what a thing life does to you when you stop holding on to so much and step away from things. it has been a crazy ride. but I'm still here.

somewhat.

somehow.

i've missed you



all
Andrew McElroy Apr 2012
So smooth like light rays coming down
So perfectly high and I can't come down
Laughing.
I will one day someday.     be there.           now.
Always in the moment
Follow me around
Stay so sweetly in the sound
So sweet in the sound
So sweet in the sound



The night, the moon
The kite, so soon
To be flying

So soon we'll be flying again
Like the kite
Like the moon

To the moon
To the end
I'll see you soon.

Smile

We are there again
Andrew McElroy Apr 2014
I find myself
Sometimes
(But only then)
Thinking about it
(what could it be?)
Too. . .

What will happen now?

I have smiles some days
and on bad days I smile
the other way around and
Sundays are bad days
Because I can't remember
What happened for the last
Seven days; well you see
what happened was,
I left home for the west coast
and found myself a different home
and surrounded myself with a little bit
of friends in that little bit of shack.
Beer, fish, grass and waves, ****, girls, lights
and strange madness erupted
into the canal streets of that little fishing town;
It was beautiful.
Like a dream out of a movie.
Made straight out of Hollywood in the 1950's.

For a split-second I thought about going back home
I think I did for a day or two in my mind. . .
and then suddenly I woke up!
This time on the easy-east coast
In a fluster of sandy beach hippies - my family
and friends scattered out on top of the yard
Days and days and days and days of
Drugs and rice and sand, non-stop funk, horseshoes, beer, waves,
more grass and more beer, sunsets and sunrises,
and strange women with multicolored eyes
and all of their weird ways.

It all seemed like a wisp of smoke now . . .
But I'd like to say that I built a ship that will sail eternally
Through these stormy seas of our fragile lives.
We as this corroded house will forever withstand the winds
Of nature and time
In itself - in ourselves.

**We are one.
This one is more of me just collecting my thoughts than a poem.
Pay no mind, move along. . . slowly.

<3 ***
Andrew McElroy Oct 2012
What do you do when all you have left is your mind, wandering?
When your heart is in constant limbo with right and wrong,
If you try me, I will **** you.
Remember my words solider.
I will rise up!
I will bury you underground.
Come on...

Ask about my mind and heart again.
Come test out these waters of turmoil
The oil isn't ****.
It's your way of looking around when your understanding
Isn't the most understanding thing about looking around.
What is going on around you?
Can you see the bridge ahead?
We are going under...

Stiff lies and ***** drinks make your mind wonder and think
About the last paragraph that you read
Remember the price that's on your head
When I find you, you are so dead.
******* try me!
Take a quick sniff of the load of **** that is your life
It's all a lie.

But it will be over soon.
And then you will be completely consumed
By the fire, that is your life.
Which is a lie.

Take one quick look around
Do you see where you are?
You are in my world boy,
Soon to be taken over
By the black water
Around the bend.

The end.
The fire.
Andrew McElroy Nov 2012
Black on the outside
Blue on the inside

The rain shivers down the windshield
Of this ****** car
    That is slowly taking me back to you
         But do I want to?
             Do I want to go back and forth again?

                    I just want to breathe your breath once more.

             To feel the knife of time
         Slowly slide inside and tickle the sweet spot
     That I have tried to hide
But it’s twisted and turned around too much

So how does the reflection look in the mirror?
Do you ever look into you your own eyes?
Can you see mine?
                             My black eyes – which you once loved

They are the way
they are
from all the years
of searching
for your
weary head

                       Only on dark roads have I found love
                                                            ­                       It’s just that all of my roads end in death
                                                
                                                                ­              Dead end.

                                                           ­               Nowhere to go.
Andrew McElroy Aug 2013
She had heart of darkness.
I couldn't hold my head,
Nor my eyes to the sight.
As she closed the sides down
On the bug canopy,
I took another one away.

As she says to me,
"There are two of you, don't you see?
One that kills and one that loves."  

I feel as if I've swallowed
Straight razors and snails.
Napalms and A-bombs.
Palm trees once beloved green
Blown to smithereens.

Wild and over grown
Everything and everyone.
Gardenias equal sweet peace.
Real freedom stings when
It's nothing but the "peoples"
Stark opinions of themselves.
Streaming blank bamboo shoots
Into the night's black iris.

Shadowy figures
Bend triangles into shape:
To straighten you out,
To put you down.
(Don't let them)
Their methods are unsound
Yet, I see no method to be found.
I see only the cauterized remains of
Arms, legs, hands and feet
As they sit and swing
Grossly from the burning palm trees.

There's something happening out here.

The man is clear in his mind, but his soul is mad.
He is dying, I think.
He hates all this.
He hates it!
He reads poetry out loud!
And in a voice. . .
Oh, this man and his forces.

It smelled like slow death in there, malaria, nightmares.
It was the end of the river, all right.

The great stone face of the temple shone out
As we began to fade out
Into the end. . .

Oh,

"The horror, the horror. . .**"
Inspired by the classic movie, Apocalypse Now.
If you haven't seen it, I suggest you do so immediately.
Andrew McElroy Jan 2019
Oh my God,
Here you are again
I was almost certain
That you were gone for good

This time

It’s up to us to see the grave
Your slow knife always stayed
Buried beneath the earth
Miles away from me

But it is creeping back now
My dark passenger
In the wind
Behind my eyes
To the left, I'm not alright

Your ways turn me bad
Make me strange
Spill my guts out
Onto the pavement
In the basement
You told me sweet lies

One more time
Evil stranger
Tell me again
I’ve got to know why
You take over my minds eye
and push me out to sea
With no way back
But to swim back out
Through the ninth gate

I’ve said it before
And god forbid I say it again
This time you’re through

I will be the end of you
Or you me

Time will tell me,
For it has already told you.
Andrew McElroy Feb 2012
Colossal.
Describing a feeling
Like shore breaks out off of the coast
Almost the time
Almost the time to leave
I left the town behind
Came down alright
Unkind, no words spoken to begin the feeling of annoyance in that ****** city.

This city of beauty and lives
opened up to the smallest things that open up to the smallest things.
And bring daylight to you and I
Sing all night and true words will always be spoken, aloud.
My love for you cannot and will not be broken,
We howl, at the blood red moon.

So say not the worries that are of tomorrows hurried state
Close down the bar to bring me back to the farthest reaches of your outer space
Out of space and the ability to trace us back to the furthest place of their worried minds.
Foolish fools pulling tools out of the mathematical realm.
Smell the soft air. Reach them sometime later out there.
Outside of the other side.

So long old burning town.
See the change that you never brought to me unsound.
Or taught to me from the beginning you see?

What's that beyond the distance
A disturbance along the disturbances
Among the turbulence in my mind
Beside your beauty in the mine
Of my heart and soul shining so bright.
No dark or fright.
My might beside your light, your sun, I can't get enough!
I can't breathe enough, for you.

My god, my angel, my friend.
My love, my beginning, my end.

The end with you! Aloud
So loud is my speech about
My journey to the end with you.
So loud!
I'm proud and complete with you.
And now...

My love: my being.
See what I'm seeing.

Breathe to be living.
Sing to be given my gift.
Aloud.
Andrew McElroy Jan 2012
The continuous **** of the vacuum cleaner's hose that ***** the filth from your floor.
Cleaning the dirt out of the eye of some cabinet followers.
Stabbing swallowing swallower's out of the nasty bile that smells of walking dead feet for miles.
At last the solemn, stolen watchman wonders the truth of the moment.
The collapse of the structure, the business, the final straw.
The word of the liars mean nothing at all.
All the while we wander about the outer borders of their eyes that ponder unsaid complaints.
**** everyone else.
We are one together.
At last we are one together, at last.

Why should they even try?
We can't be deformed or bent out of shape or form.
Lies they tell you! Lies about the air and work place that swallows.
Standing for hours will hurt your shoulders and boulders fall around when you're down.

You love the slightest bit of happiness that I love about you and happiness surrounds you
everyday completely today about your very lovely being.
I love you.
When we marry the sky we will be soul spirits and sighs of the lights above our eyes
complete the paintings that skies can give to us.

And at last,
We see that there is nothing that will last without us together.
We must be forever and we can be forever.

Let's do it!
Why don't we do it on the isle of the rasta.
Be happy forever.
Let me be yours forever.
Alright.
AM
Andrew McElroy Nov 2012
AM
I feel as if I've lost you,
Doe eyes.

The words haven't left me yet
Come back and hear what I can change
See what I can feel
Love what I can hate
Hate all that I love
Do you feel me still?
Sugar brains.

Question mark.
Something is in the way
Speak out loud
Be the light in the cloud above
The sky is grey
Lady love

Fall in between the space that they can't reach
Out of shape but in a place that I can't see
Far out of the realm of the mind at ease
Like a raging storm on your favorite beach
It's not right
The night

My morbid morning makes me mean, maybe makes me mean
Something to someone with a special something showing, shining,
Really raking in radiance really reeling in
Every eternal emotion even an excellent empty memory
May make movies, maybe make madness
Inside infinite nothingness,
Not needing, not giving
God's good graces
Though the thought
Or obstruction obtained
Needed new nightly nudges. . .

                                                . . .to make it through again.
  
The shotgun will tell you in the first eleven days
The last wave goodbye

Hello Dark One.
Andrew McElroy Feb 2013
Today
You have made a grave man dance
A glance around the room
And they're all dancing too

Drowning in the bass
Shapes arise all around
Its the placement of plates
And you can see right through me

Its a question of science and biology
Science in biology and the anatomy
Of our dancing feet
Our trembling hands
Pull shades down
Over all that the eyes have done

What have I done
To make a question seem like another
One or two three games to play
Another day to see their dancing feet

All the things that we should feel
Everything, everything, everything
Is a circle
Its a guess around game
We just mess around and
Fall into reverse
And then

Go back to the start
Play it again for me
Steal it now
Its dark outside tonight

Darker than your heart and soul
I swear on my heart and soul

Oh no, ohh ohhh no. . .
Oh no. . .
Slow down.
Andrew McElroy Mar 2013
Let me be like the waterfall
In your dreamland forest. . .

I’ll never stop running down
Don’t ever stop flowing for them

But my cool water will only
Be for you my lioness
I will poison the others
When they try and think
That they know how a moving
Body as mine could
Just keep moving on over
A smooth body like yours
But not this time

You collapsed the bottom
Of the pit where I hold
All of the darkest **** in my life
And you knew it, but not really
Your diamond eyes
Saw right through me

I saw a little kitten appear
Out of the thick crowd
Of chickens and near-death
Running bulls and run up to me
And say “You remind me of someone”

But he is dead already
Rest in peace

Until we can finally meet
Again on the blurry banks
Of the crystal blue springs

In your eyes
Andrew McElroy Jun 2013
The moment that we fell asleep
The angels started to sing
As the demons continued to screech
And although I cannot keep up with their beat

I will do my best to silence the night
And fall deep under the sheets

And the entire time that you've been sleeping
There outside the coyotes they are a screaming
And your wondering eyes have begun to stream
Through the pillars of white light on your blank screen

And the black bars flow out
Through measures and notes
And I instantly choke on a cloud
There at the end of the poem

The dark moments rerun
The lips in front of your tongue
And they will play your favorite song
As you inhale the gray love from this red ****

I will hold you deep within my lungs
And exhale you out only when the night is done.
Andrew McElroy Mar 2013
I have to leave now. . .

They are on their way back
To rip away the last bit
The last remaining flesh
Around the muscle around
The veins entwined in them

Chaos turns every which way
Under and around the bones
That I’ve broken for time to find
The most important treasure
Inside my chest, behind the curtains
Of hollow homes

Every mother must scream out
In the vile veil of the dark night
As the father slips away and
Pleases his own delight

Curses, curses, curses!

I hate the eyes in my head
They see and seal the images
Burnt out and carried in
Ships now shipwrecked in
The most peaceful place in my mind

I tried to fight it down
But the ocean just wouldn’t swallow
The irreplaceable hole in my heart

Is this how life will always be?
With only but two pages left
To complete the message to you
Make that one set in

Does this mean that I am
Only one page from death?

****,
I wonder where
My eyes will be

When you come crashing through that door

Just one last time.
Andrew McElroy Nov 2012
Earth and space collide in the dark**
&
During that night we almost forgot about the Giver,
The Giver that gives tears for fears
and the Giver that can lead you to the end of the tunnel
to see the infinite expansion of darkness unfold.

Dark sky, please bleed down on me
Unleash your holy fury and give me back my world
Release your hold, the death-grip unknown
The eyes that stare and make me wonder
Where on this earth you have gone

O’er sea
Or somewhere into the ocean deep
Way down South with your brothers and Father
Across the bridge running from me
Seven miles wide with the edge only a few feet away

Load your gun and feel the sun come over the hills
and melt the skin right off of your bones

I've said it before
and I still don’t know
Will I ever go home?
Am I really this hollow?

Please tell me if this is so
My pretty little ghost

Please save my soul
But don’t let me know
Andrew McElroy Jan 2013
Nevermore, Nevermore
Could I ever be anymore?

Like your heartless shadow
Black soul
Confusion is more than

Real; is false
A false reality?

To just speak again
An open tomb
For you to lie in
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Crawl inside my stomach
But don't listen
To what I say. . .

I won a ghost
In the summer
One seven year

Her tongue was so sweet
    on the nape of my neck
The blood drew a grey skull
    I had no one to expect
Me home

You're wrong.

A spiny claw in my back
Calls out in the black rain
To award the new, new
New stranger into the pain
Into the flood. . .

Believe in not what you see
   But in what is complete. . .

But       ?     complete
       what is
             ?
Andrew McElroy Aug 2013
We band together:
Like savages
When the rain falls
And when the blood
Of our brothers is spilt out
Do not go there.
No! Do not say. . .

The sunny side
Is somewhere near.
While you think about it,
Another brother is murdered
In cold blood
By your gov'ment.

Just then, in mid-air,
The sirens call out my name
As my eyes pull out
From a sense of sin
The shame in moving on.
Pushing past the common folk
With a naked eye
On the stone before him.
Plummeting towards the end
Of the blind track,
On the bare-back
Of a Herens steer.

Wild as hell!
Ain't it?
Yet, when it stops
A sunny day
Will go away like a
Train-wreck through
The white house.

Oil spills down and black eyes
Are farther out than a barn fire.
There was blood
On the tracks, on our backs.

Now stop yourself
And say it again
Just once more now. . .

"O death,
  Won't you spare me over
   For another year."
Andrew McElroy Dec 2012
God?
Angel!
Too near to me;
Why is it that
I am floating too close
To them?

And yet. . .
I am here again,
At the crossroads - a hollow point;
You can't
Follow anyone
But your heart.

Remember me.
Remember. . .

The night. . .
It was more than enough.
Angel?
God!

Let us be. . .
Ariel climbed the Hill
     and claimed everything
I knew. . .
Andrew McElroy Nov 2012
Oh, how I love all
                                  
                          ­         of your collected sighs

The screams and the moans
                                                      
    ­                                                     that you give away at night

You may not know these things,
                                                         ­     
                                                                ­              But oh how I love them all.

You also don’t know this,
                                                           ­                                              but you share many colours too.

During your times of madness and sadness
                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­                            you paint my world

Red
                                                      ­                            
                                                                ­                    Yellow
                                      ­                                                         
       ­                                                                 ­                                                                                        ­         Blue
So I take them all in,
                                                           
                                                    and I love them
                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                       just about as much as
                                                              ­                                                                 ­                               
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                              I love you.
Andrew McElroy Nov 2011
In my life
These faces that I encounter
Remind me of the demons
That enjoy my dreams.
They mark passages of time
Lost in the pages
Why am I this way?
Why do I hate everything?
But put on a smile that wins
                                                everyone
Eve­ryone must suffer to understand
How I am the way I am
How are you the way you are?
                                                    Pathetic­.
Drowning in your shallow pit of realistic values
**** that!
Where are the others that won’t see the truth behind the black holes for eyes that I have been given from time?
When they broke in and stole the shine,
I felt the ghost wrap its dead arms around me.
Embrace the pain; let the death feel its way about your veins.

Nerves a wry
Scramble the message below


Where are you, God?
Andrew McElroy Sep 2012
I just want to sleep
Sink forever into the eternal deep
The dark, the night
To be closed down for hours
In complete silence
In the mystical dark
Complete the goal
By not arising from this cave
Stay in and save the heat
Stay asleep and dream the dream

I just wish to die at night
                                          the dark
Consume my composure
Assume and surrender
to the underworld
to my changing ways

Quickly wander through these days,
that you have yet to get through.
Drown slowly in the nights,
That refuse to swallow you.

I just want to sleep
Sink forever into the eternal deep
Into the dark, out of the night
Living so dead yet alive

That is my only fight.
Andrew McElroy Jul 2014
I think of you,
when I see the stars    

&

I am reminded
of what little light it takes    
to see true darkness.
Andrew McElroy Jul 2013
I glare out of the window
With a fading smile.
The moon shades behind the palm trees,
The stained glass is bleeding out.

I guess I spent too much time on it.

We felt like angels
When we breathed outside
Of the wall of vines.
You smiled back with
A hand on mine.

Like a star behind the clouds

You shine brighter than heaven

I wish we were together tonight
There is nobody home
And the telephone is off the hook.

I should make the drive
Out to the edge of the lake
But my money has been spent
And I am all out of razorblades

The hurry is what we should be concerned with
It's much too harmful to be blind to love
When you know it's waiting for you below

On a star behind the cloud
The moon upon a stick.

*We are a conspiracy theory in itself.
Andrew McElroy Apr 2013
I would rather eat every grain of sand
Off of every white sand - black sand beach
For a thousand - two thousand lifetimes
Than be anywhere near you or them
and to attempt and cough out every reason
Why I must do this and leave again.

There is not enough fire
On this God forsaken earth
That could come close to that
Inside of my heart and
My eyes will never close
Or come close to your mouth
As long as there is water
In the salty seas and as long as
That blackwater flows
Through the old oak trees. . .

I will never be inside of you again.

There won't ever be an end
As long as you keep adding more
And more pieces to the conclusion.

The story is over,
It's time to go to sleep.
Andrew McElroy Nov 2011
In order to fully explain my actions
I must first start with the beginning of it all

At the peak of last fall is where I made my fall
Right down the sinking stairway to heaven
There was no one left that I could call
I was back at the age of seven
The water under the bridge
it runs slowly now
for the ghost on the other side
has called it back.

Oh, how I wish to lie under the branches of your knowledge
Under the shade, out from the harmful yearning rays
Of a son that has lost its ways
and a sun, now hidden by haze
But there, a door, it has been opened now
and the thoughts and fears come rushing out
Over flowing your once empty cup
and now you just can't seem to get enough

Your space is being filled in with little monsters and demons
and your eyes can't seem to leave my face.
Andrew McElroy Nov 2012
I can’t see the light from the light house
From all of this heavy smoke;
The layers of fog form on this empty ocean
And cover my only sense of hope.
The new ghost in my home
Now shares with me the stories
From the old souls that collect around
This holy place, this black hole.

Let me know when you get here. . .

They connect the scrambled pieces of time
That were dropped from the family
The opening hole now gaining strength
By pulling out the memories from my mind.

Oh go now, go away now old soul, old soul
Go away slow, but never slow enough
It’s never slow enough for them.

Can we leave in the night?
I ******* hate today and everyday
For whichever one matters.

Split into two sides;
That are always fighting for the infinite light
The question is, can you see without it?
The life sustaining glow from above
How about the one that brings eternal death from below?

When will I love again?
When will we see?
The obvious signs in life,
We can never be.

                                                    Take these words of advice
                                                          ­             &
                                                        don’t ever love me. . .
Andrew McElroy Mar 2013
Here I am
Sitting by my little
Ocean in the woods
Dead still leaves
Are all around me
It’s my punishment
For not saying sorry
Or getting out of
The tree, the tree
&
Staying dizzy
In these great
Astral weeks
That just never seem to end
Just then, just then
You step in and
Turn me inside out

To have me be born again
A small steel voice
To steal small red kisses
Straight off of your salty, sweet lips

The crystal ship
Is laying still off shore
In the Gulf of your heart
I’m lying low, scared, in the grass
To try and not scare you away

Little blue dream
Make it seem like the
Real thing, sweet thing
Make me remember
You this year

This week
Andrew McElroy Jul 2014
Look atcha,

sitting there
w/
a sober idea –

got nothing to say
anymore

I guess it’s back
to
drinking again.
Andrew McElroy Jan 2012
Her skin is like the smallest of olives
With hair like the softness of the rain
Her scent carries like the rose of Sharyn
With teeth whiter than ivory on black silk
The way she moves so slow is how do when I'm in pain
But she glides so smooth with out a care
She seems to be fine with the way that she moves me
Her silent eyes are singing out to steal me
I wonder what it would be like to just touch her hand
Sinking ever so slowly into dreamland
Sun rays shine down upon her head
Like headlights in the dark night
She digs her way out of my sight
I fall my way down that rabbit hole
Just to see her walking away from me
Oh God this isn’t over… ohh
Here I will sit on this earth and hover
Don’t deny the signs that fall on you
Don’t collapse the space that consumes the truth
Open up to fall in love again
Close the door and let it fall in
Oh sweet angel, sweet, sweet angel
On this dear day of love
Are all these words I write even enough?
I need to know you just to show you
The light that is deep within my eyes
It can brighten the darkest skies
One kiss will help this, one touch will open up.
Andrew McElroy Aug 2012
Spit it out
Say it please
I am begging you!
I want you.
I want you
To say it now!
Laugh out loud
Confuse yourself
From another window
Another opening away
Eyes on fire
Seek me out
Find me hiding
Scared of the magic
In your eyes
I love your mind
The slowest of kinds
But special like mine
Although my cards are all spent
I am still here and alive
Breathing, seeking, failing
Living in the wrong place
Always falling

You will learn the secret of life
God will grant you only one time
To make this night
The decision to make this right
Maybe I want you
You should think and then speak

Comet crashing--
Spilling my ashes into your dusty eyes

I loved you.
Andrew McElroy Feb 2014
What is it exactly that I need?

The same old
Sliding around is falling
Beautifully out of line.

I wonder if it eats
at you softly.
I'd love to know
When it begins to *burn away

At the fleshy substance
around the outside
of your brain.

We play
wicked games
In the name of science
and discovery
In order to *once-twice-three

Times try the **** around game;
Hopeful to figure out
Each others true anatomy.

The opposite *** -
The fear of *** -
What a nightmare. . .

**Why is it that I need an answer?
Andrew McElroy Aug 2012
I want to try this
Explain something unspoken

Cymbal crash – and it’s over
Lover my dear, no more
Save the devil from speaking out
The *** is boiling over;
The competition between the martyrs
Who can die first?
Who will live last?

At last, I figured this out
Or did I?
Did I die for the sake of the conversation?
When you took me in,
                                     did I have a chance?
I fell into it,
                   I should have turned away.

You didn’t look away when you smiled
                for a split second
I saw the sun through the grey sky above

Tan skin: from your summer spent
Experiencing the ecstasy of your melody
What’s your name?
Today’s date
Or the time of day
What is your price to pay?

Wake and then bake
To the sounds of the earth
The clouds on my shirt
Reveal the places I’ve been
The haze in my eyes
The faces I have seen

Not scared anymore;
Living for
Andrew McElroy Sep 2013
I have an idea of the future.

Bleak and stale.
It's salty **** licked at my neck
Then turned and let me be
A solid hammer of stone.

&

I smashed, smashed, smashed
Away at your T.V.
And pulled your hand through,
All the while;
Your lips just keep saying no
and no, and so I let you go
and let the sweaty sand drip off
Of my boney fingertips.
As if it was my way,
Of letting your scent go
Away with the
Summer-time *snow.
Andrew McElroy Jan 2013
So this is it
A question
Or an answer
That I don't like

Last year
still fresh in my head
I don't like it

You -

Them \
           / Everything
                                  from then \
and I got nothing
                                           from /
You -

I'm still stuck -------
                                  L a \    a \\ a//   a   a/ a         a  gggggg ing. . ….. .. . ….

Out of the words
Into the woods
Out of my mind
Into a sweet sublime

. . . . . . .

Something that I can't name
Or someone that I want
But can't change
I can't change
                                                          ­          Myself       ?       Did
                                                             ­       Or              ?       Andy
                                                            ­        Myself       ?       Die

                                                I           ­                                                         won't

Y­ou believe I did
                                                             ­                                                                 ­                    I believe you did
Alright. . .
Andrew McElroy Nov 2012
I wish I could see myself the way that you do.

Fingers stuck together
Eyes are shut too.
Emptiness and happiness
Are in between the pages
That haven't spoken to you
Yet, all I want is to see the sky.

I want to lie to you again
The feeling is like a bullet in the brain
But I love it.
To just know that something else is in the way
Of our only way out of this place.
Did you know the person that spoke at me behind my back?
Or the ******* that emptied out your heart.
And spilled your guts on the white blank page
Broken in from years of ****** hearts touching it.
The book of your death
and my re-birth.

Of course I've opened it,
It took my breath
Away. . .

And shook the light out of me
But brought me back to earth
To spread this darkness that I have so rightfully earned.

Bring me out of it,
Away from here
In the space between
Your cloudy eyes
and my hollow heart.
The place where I can begin again
and push restart.

Danger - Dead man talking
Keep away, *keep away.
Andrew McElroy Nov 2011
I stumble in the path that leads
To all of the wrong roads chosen
Maybe I should wake up from this dream
And worry about my heart that has been broken
I can’t remember what it is to be content with life
Or the light that once shown
In my black eyes
I remember a feeling that was once a flame
It consumed the very being of my better side
Now all I can feel is the dark side
From these dark eyes that seek to know the truth
Or struggle to find you
They fell short under the wing that shades
That fed me waves when I needed calm seas
I can feel the deadweight
The boat is drifting away
Out past the reaches of my aching limbs
I may drown if I don’t remember
The way that you moved me
Pushing out from the hollow hole in my hollow chest
Peaking out through these hollow lenses that think they know best
Or the empty eyes that look over my body as it waits
Burning skies seek to warm the wicked and sick
The wretched and weak will **** for a sense of love
Look at the eyes of the worried and stuck
They wonder about the name of this beautiful thing
Unknown member of the underworld
They call me out from the other side of the stained glass
I’ve been cast out from the badlands
Does that make you love me anymore?
Or will I begin to hate the very thing that makes me, me
Her heart that ate me in the light of the stage
My heart won’t fail me
It will rise again
Andrew McElroy Feb 2013
I started by breathing out
Loud in a darkened room
Her hands and my feet connect
And lace our better essence together
For a few good shakes and turns

With a spirit there (where we kissed)
Or a feather floating (in that room)

I made the better choice to not look away. . .

My cheeks are circled with red
You are barely breathing and
Trying not to show the other-side of
Your nightly dream of me

You dream a lot of me
A lot more than I remember of you
I do have dreams but they are
Mostly terrors of my haunted youth

I have a lot of feelings and
Many things to put them in
But your dark room clouds the place
Above my head and below my neck

You can kiss away softly. . .

Let me tell you about the night when
The fingers and lips will meet
To form connections that join the hands
                                                                   and feet.
Andrew McElroy Nov 2011
Beautiful scenes
of nightmares
& dreams.
In my vision,
streams of colours
leave like strangers
passing me by.
Andrew McElroy Mar 2013
I know you that way
and only the same
As the devil knows me

I know that you can see
This thing you call a smile
It isn't real
It is a picture perfect portrait
That you painted
For yourself
To remember
The good ol' days.

Do the nights still
Pass along like
The string of bad thoughts
That are strung out in
This poem
Out on one
Of the last pages
That you will never read

My brain fell out and
Stained the page that
I tried so hard to keep
Clean of the pain and sin
Of my bleeding and rough hands
But that is impossible
For my cracked hands
Have clawed my smashed brain
Clean of the good things
That were once upon the black screen.

I'm losing my youth
My sanity is loose
It's been years and years
Of girls, drugs and *****
Living fast, shoeless
***** feet take me
Up and down the beach
To the hill where there will be
Love all around.
Andrew McElroy Feb 2013
I pull myself
Out of
The
Inside
of the light.
Andrew McElroy Sep 2012
Communicate to me now or shut the **** up
Say the things that will throw away heaven
Spit in the faces of your Gods
******* in places that I probably should not
Holy ground; then and now. Time between.
Unclean clothing, I ******* stick
I’ve got to get back to where I was
One day too late two days to make it
I’m falling apart in my seat
Melting into a puddle of green
My, my, my Remington .308 Manuel
Sliding down so slowly, I’m sick. . .
Ginnie gimme sweetly a sleepy sweetie
Traditional quote; usual lines
Bespectacled eyes,
Scare across a wilderness of hollow lives
Let no pleasure or pastime
Distract me from my vengeance
I’m ******* coming for you
Limitless.


Although you think you know
I may say a few of my words a little slow
Are you scared about Friday night?
Blue moon in sky. . .

Mind in flight

Say goodbye!
Andrew McElroy Oct 2013
I
Fall
In
Love

Too much,

But
It's
Never
Enough.
Andrew McElroy Dec 2012
It's four o'clock in the morning
My lips are frozen
And the words that I've chosen
Haven't led me there; entirely yet. . .
And all the T.V. shows
Have all gone cold
With static, cold
static.
And I can't hear the breeze
Outside my window
Anymore.

I kissed you in the *dark

My love did it or did it not mean a thing?

The weeds that grow in between the
times
All around the many states of religion and regain.

Confusion*, that's what I call it.
Believe nothing that the night will tell
You, you, you can only feel your way around the unknown things well
Enough. . .

Kiss me goodnight.
I'll lie awake in sweet nightmares delight.

(Your name here)
(It's alright)
Why? Don't ask. . .
Why. Don't you ask. . .
Andrew McElroy Nov 2011
Oh, how my thoughts

Tear through my open & stained mind

They feel like the world wings

Stretching out to scoop me up

Whilst I stand in this field of night

The dark curls in every direction

But I am not confused

Mother’s moon shines upon me

In the light of her eye

I learned how to fly

With the smell of the pines

Shifting through my cloudy mind



I calm with ease

As I feel the breeze



Against my eyes and in my spine

Oh crooked spine, don’t fail me now!

Mother please, Mother Green

Don’t take me out of line

Don’t let me lose this time

Keep my sight on her eyes

You can leave my heart dead in the pines

But just pick me up and bring me back home

Back to the only place I’ve ever known…



Oh go now, into your secret garden

Retreat into the trees that sway

They say to you “Oh my child, cry to me!”

So I wept to her

And this is what I say…



"My Sweet mother, I thank you

I will breathe all of you in.

The love is in your voice

I can hear it in the wind."
Andrew McElroy Oct 2013
I awoke in a rush
About ten hours, no;
Ten minutes ago.
Sometime around ten.
Anyways, the point is...
Forget about the point.

I awoke in a rush
This morning,
From what I believed,
Was the sound of her
Breathing. But as I came
To, it was just that old
Ceiling fan creaking
It's nightly love song
To me.

I pull myself out of bed
And into the floor.
The shades bring a certain
Shade that I don't like
Anymore.
Oh, **** me!

I slink out to the shed
And begin to burn, burn
Burn away everything,
Anyone care to come and try me?
I'll change your mind.

Strange feelings begin to arise
On this maybe-just-me morning.
There, sixteen or seventeen different
Varieties of happy and ****
Send out all the words
Of my daily love song
To you.

I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶p̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶
T̶r̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶d̶i̶e̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶n̶i̶g̶h̶t̶.̶
I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶n̶a̶t̶u̶r̶e̶.̶
I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶s̶l̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶
I̶'̶m̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶s̶t̶a̶n̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶*******̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶
F̶i̶g̶h̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶e̶m̶p̶t̶y̶
H̶o̶l̶l̶o̶w̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶a̶s̶t̶

So, I resort back to nature.

I shouldn't have even said this much,
I'll be on my way now.
I will rise up!
Andrew McElroy Jun 2012
When were we left behind?
Was there a last word said?
I do believe you are not for me
My faith in hope has been dead
Wait for the last verse it will bring you back
I wish for this to be real
But like I have always said

Nothing is
Completely ****** up
You are
Not real enough for me

Where have I been?
Outside. Looking at the non-existent moon
Isn't it beautiful?
It's covered up by the clouds
I'm sorry... Goodnight son.
I love you.

Have you ever been here?
In this exact moment
The moments that will never pass us by
The times that make you wonder why?
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