I began to shake

This is it,
A broken plate.

It got worse and fell
Out, far beyond her

As his face smashed
Against the sea shell
A wave crashed and found

A sudden death in a
Hole in the wall.
**** it all.

There was no watch
Last night.
I actually slipped out
Flew out of the room

Oh and you
Looked like the ocean
At first sight.
Beautiful and consuming

A windy day
Lashing out against the dunes.
Thank God
They were there
I would've sailed away, If not

For your last breath.
You saw a shadow,
I saw the reflection of
A memory from hell.
I saw you and I,

Standing hand in hand
In your mother and father's
Little mansion in the Keys,
It's fingers set me on fire.

I coughed and swallowed
Your words of love. I've got
Six months to puke 'em out
It's poison

Bursting in my veins
I sang the song you love
"The Blowers Daughter"

Your father would love me.
It's too late now
For time to heal

My memory
Of this beautiful scar.

Your eyes and *******,
Took my breath and

I fell apart.

You seem curious. . .
Are you going to go there?
Backwards and forwards
Look at the message upside down
Does that make better sense?
Let me tell you about it?

The descriptive details of a red balloon
A consuming feeling of shiny latex
The words are all mixed up in your mind
Or in front of you, the mirror speaks

“. . .a human is a human is a human is a human is a human”

Did you forget your proposed, composed speech?
Keep you composure, turn our backs on yesterday
Forgive me when I speak; aloud

Forget me please
Allow me to drift off to sleep; on a cloud
                                                           ­      and die
For this once now, I can’t explain why
my words don’t make sense
For now I have become so aroused
with the idea or innocence of not knowing how
I write these mistakes out on this ******* page
that should be taking in other notes that might help me pass.

But I’m passing out on a passing star
So make your last wish on my crashing car.

We'll see who makes it very far. . .

Just like the eyes that have the time
to ride away in the night. . .

My mind has its own life.

I know my heart as a way with words
But I feel, oh so lost and left open.
It makes me want the dark to be inside of the day.
To be inside my little home on the ****** end of fall.
Remember what the blackness will write for you, man.

****.

Did you at last lose the long lost memory of my face?
Did it open your soul into a world of sweet wonders full of distaste?
Or did the light really have to die
to give you anymore of the life that you thought you need.

Sky! Take my hands!
God! Will you lie for real this time
and at least try and make the dead smile.

For it has been days and days of looking at the sun,
scratching my head, standing in the doorway feeling like death.
Feeling like someone with that broken thought, going over and over the strange hollow things that love to watch these trees bring you back outside.
To tell of our sour love; curdled into hate, forever as I slowly take back my hand and leave my body to dream and speak of the times that are soon to change into a solid blood red.
Then watch me change so beautifully into the unknown ghost
that is floating around this falling room.

This ****** up place, is far more blue than my memory of hell.

Maybe I should kiss the stars.
Maybe I should hold onto the morning; alive.
Maybe I should believe and stay to write
then stop today and live seven more lies.
Before I sleep,
Before I forget the truth,
Before I remember what the stars saw
on that cold screaming ground.
You will guess out loud.
You will dream of a moon underground
You will wish for better years
and for the memories to burn like all their wicked lives
through your tears.

Maybe before you start to push, they will move.
But don't you ******* start to rely on wishful thinking.

Tonight a breath of heavy air
will come out of the closed eyes.
The words will rain down like the holy green
that can sense the question and breathe and then wish upon a song.
To close the angels lips tonight.
The ones who dare to complete their turn and feel the moment,
Like the skin does.
While I lose pieces of my soul as I run across this great big white teethed earth.
My house will start to creep up out of the darkness
and my feet will live deep in the living hair of our mothers dirt.
It is a true sight of pure gold to leave the city untold and not to be still stuck in the grey mold.
It is best that I got the fear and lie awake, waiting to hear this story of the girl in pain.

Just **** your past and fall into the hope that burning alive will completely save you from mothers waves

and then watch them standing around. . .
They knew you - they were waiting in the stealing pines
They were waiting until they could understand
The slow clouds that are rolling out of your dying mouth.

For peace from God is what you seek,
now close your eyes to the sun and run. . .

*Take the fall.

When
                                                         ­                                                               wi­ll                                      *I

                ­                            




                                ­                      find

                               ­                                                         the­ true




                                                        ­                              meaning


of
       my
                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                       









                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­             *life.?

Oh tree,
Sweet tree
How you know me
How I envy your strength
Your energy rooted so deep
In the veins of my arms
And in my boney fingers
As I feel my way around
Your many alien features
&
Your sweet hair
That
Blows and leaves
Little traces of you
In the strands of stringy-like sand
Every where you are
&
Every where you are not
People will die
People have always died over
Your precious life. . .

So tree,
Sweet tree
My tree
The only one
That really knows me
Take me in your arms
Let me feel the warmth
Of your sister sun
Your spiritual entity
and my holy one
That neither one of us
Shall ever truly see
Or know
But I know
That you know
That both of us
Cannot live
Without the other
We would be ghosts
Behind the shadows

So tree,
Be the brother
That I never had
Be my father
Because I cannot look at him
Anymore, you see?
I can't look into the eyes
Of the man that has made me who I am
The mystery, the disaster, the one
Who stops for nothing
And that wins nothing
For being nothing

I am something!

But you are
You are everything
That I am not
You are everything
That they aren't
You are everything
That he wants
and wants me to be

I want to be more than that!

I want you to be. . .

My lover, my brother
My mother, my father
My tree. . . I must know
Will you have me?

Because
I know you can save me
&
Together you and I
Can save them all.

I have studied your ways
For many days now
Every move so patient
You are not like me
I am not
Calm like you are
Except when
That breeze runs through
My mind and
Then moves to your eyes
and then it likes to move
Around the other ways;
Around them,
To find
You there
I'm not there,
But you say to
Be there
So I will be. . .

You never seem to change
Like I do
Or like my mind
I should say

I see this in you. . .

&

I try and understand
The feelings that arise
Like a fire in your
Holy Wilderness.
Naked in
Times of confusion

I love confusion
I hate confusion

Its where I felt you first
and where you first
Saw my unholy wildness.
Naked in
The fire that once
Consumed the feelings
In my life

&

You could see that!

But,
I couldn't see through
The blaze
The purple haze
The strange days
That they too had
Already seen

But I think that you had
Already seen me
Coming
Going
Spiraling into my violent
Rage

So you took the time
To study me and
Seek me out
Instead of the other way
Around

You excepted my
Screaming and shouting
The twisting and turning
That I have so doubted

You are the one

&

I think I like this. . .

I don't know what
I am looking for. . .

But I found you
and you solved
that problem.

There are so many styles
Behind the many treasons
Inside the miles
Beside the aching reasons
That you’ve sold to me.

Find solid ground outside of town
Outside of your mind
Your third eye is closed
Open it up and begin to live
Like tomorrow is today
And yesterday
We will be okay
All of their faces there
were lost inside
My mind likes to keep things to itself
Away from me
You’ve been away from me
Are you still the same?
Or am I the only one who has changed
I hope my face will stay the same
and my eyes still stay covered with lame excuses

Of

Why I can’t see you again tonight
So, I’m gone…
I’ve gone away
I’m a ghost in your mind
Your third eye is closed
So open it up
and reveal the truth inside
the true terrors collide
with your best dreams
and colours aren’t what you see
But ninety shades of grey hidden in between
Your memory of what has been ****** since
They tore your heart out
and ate you from behind the seams
Behind the scenes of my worst day
You were there in my head
You’re gone
You’ve gone away
Follow the reaper to the cellar
Hear my voice call out

I’m going away now
Too late to say everything
Now
You say…

I’m gone
I have gone away
Try and figure me out
Now…

There was a fire in the Northern sky
and I couldn’t dare look away.

Its slow death reigned on me
so innocently that
I then became the king of the Badlands.

The war struck woods.
There they were

Stuck in a solid line -
one by one, body after body;
I followed casually behind.

I watched them come undone
in the flowing current.
It was time for past ground to be reached

so I let them have it.
The ashes rained down
So swiftly that

I had a second to think
about this ground under my feet
It is mine.

My own earth.
No one shall ever take it.
I will die on this land.

As I thought about this peace –

A hand took shape into mine.
I turned to look and there it was,
The blazing flame

In my morning sky.
The solid star shine
Every night. . .

My picture perfect view hadn’t burned out
It was just my eyes that needed adjustment.

Her cool breath woke me every morning
and it's only getting hotter. . .

How about I start one more fire?

The strangeness arises. . .

I feel your young hand creep up
My old spine, as it crumbles
Apart into four pieces
Knives turn into forks
Like lives burnt into the north star
The big dipper pulls out
And back and forth
Into our only sight and you say

"The sky swims away with the day
and the clouds will all drift away. . ."

Soon enough they will,
When we meet again on those ****** city
streets. . .

Can you believe it?
As a star is made to rule them all!
Collisions make memories
Into classes I'll fail. . .

I'll fall down around you,
Like the comets do
And I will most certainly see it
Happen and I'll just happen to be
downtown where you are not
With me. . .

Alone
           &
Alive for sure!

Until we collide on the shore
I'll be waiting for. . .

You thought you knew me
                                                     But you didn't think right this time
                                                I was all you ever wanted
                                           But I'm not at all right this time
                                      My words have been twisted
                                 My lines burned into lies
                             I should have guessed it
                          I'm just a ******* fly
                      On her narrow chest
                   Her breath, oh yes it was haunting
               My chest oh **** it, i'm lying
           Again, again, again
      This is my life
  This is how I am
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Can you get stuck somewhere else
      Will I ever die, alone like the rest
           Like the others, the ones I've ****** so bad

Oh good for me!
Good for you, so good for my death
Live for the worst, long for the best

                                                           ­                                                                 ­                    Can't reach it yet

I avoid your crowd
You **** me dry

A slippery *****
A fake hill
A plastic baseball bat

                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                 I'm a liar

You're nothing to me
I'm a flickering flame
Your last call to a dying name

No friend to call
No name to scratch on the wall

                                                           ­ If I could just feel the skin
                                                            ­The sun and the breeze
                                                          ­  The last words you'll ever send
       To me opening my chest again

                                       I can't repeat another word

      -The speech has left me;
               my face has met the curb-


Bloodstain
Good thing. . .


                                                             ­                                       I                         G
                                                               ­                                       Left                
                                                                ­                                          You
                   ­                                                                 ­                I                         O
                                                               ­                                       Told
                                                           ­                                               You
              ­                                                                 ­                     I                         O
                                                               ­                                       Was
                      ­                                                                 ­                   No
                                                                ­                                                              D

The little y that marks the spot
Behind the white sweet spot that
Holds the truth behind your smile;
Lies upon the sugar laced shoulders
That are wrapped in your perfect skin
Underneath those dark clothes
That you and I love so much
and your black fingernails
That left the deepest scars
Down the left and right sides of my spine

The sweet caress of your modest *******
Is the feeling that I love best,
When your chest is against mine
In the middle of the night.
My love.
Oh dark one. . .

I caught the smile of a dead girl
On your right side, the brightest side
If you even believe that for a second
Before your eyes caught mine
There were no alarms
But now I can see them, your eyes
and I can still feel your smile
Every ******* night that I try and forget
But your precious ghost hides inside of it.

Can you walk with me awhile?
Spend the night a least a hundred miles
Outside of the usual styles that you are used to.
I have been used too.
Put on display like the ******* last page
That I will never write again.

I swear.

You will see a new beauty behind these trees
and a cool openness of these arms to please
Your closed senses and to plant new kisses
On the sweet cherry lips
Of your holy face.

This is my final testament
All my possessions are yours
You have put a change in me
I left this beautiful gift in her name
So god bless you all
For the song you sang us
I'd give my last breath to you
If I could only find you
Lay still and this will cover your eyes
With a beautiful scene wrapped over your head
Bring this back and you will forever be in
With the saints and sinners
A word floats softly through the wind
The word that could save this world
Let it be and she will be
With you until the end
Wait until I'm gone to read this
It might **** me soon
So you may be in luck
Let the word fill your ears and eyes
And let it free your mind
The word that equals freedom
Death.

This coldness
That I hold on to is
Worth more than a river
Of gold and it's
Flowing faster and faster
Through the veins of this
Wicked city
And into and out of the
Eyes and mouths
Of all those that remained seated

I watch them as they watch me
Why don't they turn around
Am I all that they need?
There is a certain balance needed
To see the real me
The real Andy

I want you to tell me your name
Let me in on your little secret ghost
I could replace its face into mine
Without the complacent feelings
Of your wrongs and haunts
From the day before today.

Its cold outside and you're still asleep
So when you come to and I am not there
Do not be disturbed with fright
There will be a dream waiting for you there

On the other-side of the night.

And suddenly. . . I was there!!!

Amazed by what I saw
The truth lies in the middle
On the road for six years
And honestly I don’t care
If I ever make it back alive.

The small stones in the road
Represent the fragments of my skull
That I left in many different
Black holes across this wicked
Universe and in this second verse.

I love when the rain falls
I feel you
I love the smell that is left
When you stay the night
I feel your fingers slide
Softly
          d
          o
          w
          n
­            
          d
          o
          w
          n
­       my back
and my head
Cannot grip this memory and keep it
Together for you
Long enough
To shake me out of the crossfire
And back into that sparrow’s nest
Of hair that I call my home, you know
Girl, you need to know what’s going on
On the other-side
Your life is going nowhere down there
Midtown is not downtown
It is the final circle of hell
And you are just getting started
I’m getting all backwards and forwards
Is ****** for good stories

Take a step, take a breath back
In and out, out and in
A little love, loves a little sin

I want you
I want you too
I want you to remember

**This

This is it, this is it
Make up a cloudy sky in the dark
For what it’s worth
I left my mark
Let’s get down to business
For the last time
In a crowded room
You kissed me
He dissed me
Shot, shots, shots
Drain me out
Of all things that make you sick
We will run through this room
Like no one is watching
We won't be stopping
You have a dangerous face
and an illegal taste
I hope this will make it all end
So everything will be alright
I love you so much
Let’s finish this right

Falling, falling, falling . . . down
Oh how sweet the sound
That my body makes
When it meets the ground
On the day that you brought me down
The nights that passed without a sound
Your life has been so unlike mine

Care-free

I can remember a time when I used to be
But that now has turned into a vague memory
You see, what I see
It is true beauty
I see beyond what others dream
You and I alone, together in peace
Could you believe in a thing like that?
Would you be able to keep me from turning back?

I don’t know
I don’t know, my dear

My sweet yet dark angel

Your heart fights it
But you know you want to see it
The questions you own
Are the answers that I hold on to
They are what I cling to at night
So go on pretending
That I’m not everything you want
I want your everything
Your anything, just do one thing my love
Speak to me with your eyes
Just give me a sign that it will be alright
Come breathe deeply with me tonight
                           &
   We can come down together.
                     Just right. . .

I just want to sit here in the dark
and not think about flying
or anything, for that matter

Was this stretched tight enough
Or should I keep screeching on

I’m bloodied from the hands down,
A ****** form of a man that’s seen the dawn

Nothing shapes the comets around the stars like he did.
They can’t name it, what is this problem

He has

No way of letting anything out again
Only objective lies and
The forever crooked spine that takes
A smack in the face from this saying
“I’m above, I’m above...”

No cares

Left in the world -
Is a burnt star stuck on the right side
Leaning, lying, letting, the likes of this
get in your way

Or ours if,
in that one chance in hell
the star would let us through

I know,
It’s a shame that we’ve only just begun
to scratch the surface of the skin enough to see
What’s underneath the filth
Let us breath

Underneath
No need
What a place to be

Now

Now

What a place to be
No need
Underneath

Let us breath
What’s underneath the filth
It’s a shame that we’ve only just begun
to scratch the surface of the skin enough to see, I know

the star would let us through
in that one chance in hell
Or ours if,

I was leaning, lying or letting the likes of this
get in your way,
Is a burnt star stuck on the right side
The only thing left in the world

No cares

“I’m above, I’m above...”
A smack in the face from this saying
The forever crooked spine that takes
Only objective lies and
No way of letting anything out again

What he has

They can’t name it, what is this problem
Nothing shapes the comets around the stars like he did.

A ****** form of a man that’s seen the dawn
I’m bloodied from the hands down

Should I keep screeching on
Or was this stretched tight enough

I just want to sit here in the dark
and not think about flying
or anything, for that matter...

Oh cursed one!
Why did you lay me down to die?
Beside the quiet waters of my memories
I feel rotten inside
I feel rotting outside
Another door closed
Another mouth left wide open
Another man taken away
By the fire inside his burning soul

Oh hollow one
You came and walked beside me
For so long, I wondered faintly
What took you so long?
Your empty shadow now
Cast inside of mine
I must go now

To find what once was mine.

For TC

The hands that guide us
Will certainly not contain
The hatred that does consume
All of these wonders in my way

I can’t bring you back here
To where we once were
The tides have washed the beach
Over and over, and over

The siren cries and sings,
She sings us back to shore
I can’t believe this anymore
Will you still live here?
Just live so still here

Say not the things that are not before us
Keep in mind that we were one at once before
It’s just that now I’ve forgotten what love is

Since when did life become so dull?
I wanted a way out,
When they turned the lights out
Only to find myself
Sitting in her chair there
On the shores of the black water rising
Just right where I had been,
Before I started drowning
The water had flooded my veins
And got up and left this place
Oh the horror!

All over the lanes were their screaming faces
I began my search of more beautiful places
I looked for comfort there in the incurable city
But only lost all sense of hope, pride and dignity

Once the water became too much
Was when I started to lose touch
Don’t lose touch he said,
I’m sorry Tom, but you’re right…

This is where we get in
This is how it ends
With her and I sitting here in this lonely room
But only as lost friends…

Remember there was a fire?
But now the smoke has gotten to be too much
For you to see me here now.

We smashed through
plates of glass
on our way back down
from China.
We swam through
oceans of plastic bags
only to reach
the oily surface
of the Pacific's
deep heart of blue.
We flew through
red clouds of smoke,
feeling higher
with each breath
we took; to only find our
coastlines and insides
filled with factory stacks
of mobile empires,
run by thieves and crooks.

We thought we thought
the craziest thought.

We should have known better
than to blame our neighbor.

I could always do this
it’s my life
under these brilliant stars
That chose my eyes tonight

Burning all the time
The fire is never ending
Suppose that you came
What would I feel inside
Like ticking time away
Sticking near your fine line baby
Stay down and watch it bloom

Do you hear that?
It's an echo of your life
telling you to stay the night
                       stay the night
in this wild wonderland of wicked women
you’re the only one
they've picked you again guy.

Love the strange screams in the dark unknown trees.
Love the repetition of the plague of crazy dreams.

Do you like the life on fire?

I placed a bet earlier on
In the spirit of the spring that
I, or should I say, you
Would still be here - not moving
Staying as stale as a couch dorito.

And to think that
I placed this bounty on your head
While you sat still and slowly spun in reverse
Then raised the stakes
One hundred stacks.

To the last verse in the old King James;
You really made your mother proud.

You took the hammer and made two.
You stole the sunshine in hopes of a better view
Of your "holier" nightmares.
You made the one drop lock up so tight
That not a n'er not a sheep could slip through.
You wore that sweater that stole at least
One hundred hearts
Right out of the chests of the sunken treasure
That I fought so hard for,
But they were all for you.

I bet you never guessed that
You were always right when
You never guessed and I bet
You never guessed that
You should have guessed wrong
This time.

I was the one that dropped the screwdriver in your mind.
I never stopped to visit, I just didn't get the time.
I used to always cut the cactus off just a little too soon.
I remember I once left the moon in a hopeful wish that
I could go home too.

I guess I guessed a mess of a mess
Thus ends this insanity, thus ends this madness.

In this body that hold
My fears collaborate with dreams
and they shake my foundation
My balance of ions
cookies of chips in the minty air
sticking to my ribs and inside my lungs
my recognition becomes a new home
a face in which I live for
a home and I am not there anymore
So when the fourth day is through
I will be again with you
          there
they will come aloud out now
so how, when would it be now
remind me of my mortality
remind me that this is only an illusion of their false reality
only an imagination of harsh content
completely ****** up the opening
flash borders with guns
cash orders us more guns
shoot away at the milk in a moldy carton
that is breeding more and more mellow mold
put the car in drive and take me somewhere far
away
awayaway
away
what a strange word that is
life
another one
left
to find nothing
home
to find rain
rain
rain
come today
and then
come again tomorrow
okay
no more
no more
life
away
from
home
rain
will
find
you
.

So we trace the reflection in the mirror
In hopes to construct a better view
Of the person that we hope to be
But every attempt I make
Draws out a picture of you.

The monster that you are to me.

Your eyes end up looking like
The midnight skies
On the beach where you and I
Made a vow to never leave each other
As long as we both were breathing

Now we are both screaming
And taking back everything
Just like a last breath taken
Without any meaning.
This has become
Something that is not worth seeing
Anymore

So I took the mirror down
With a quick hand
And a solid mind
To craft a new reflection
Out of the warped pieces of mine

And I stand in the hall alone
Looking towards the end of time
And wonder where I am going

And you are gone
And your mouth turns into the sun
As I say my last goodbye
To these starry night skies
Where we held each other tight
And made agreements with our
Lips and tongue

To say,
Goodnight twenty three.
Goodbye blue skies,
You never even knew me.

This is going to start out as a story about
Not knowing if you are fully alive and awake or
Still lying in bed, dead asleep.

But, we'll see where that takes us...

Opening scene

It's 2:54am.
He wakes up in a fury
He's covered in sweat
and for some reason he's crying.
But the room is so dark that
He doesn't quite know where he is.
I fall to the floor and scramble around for
The little light under the door but it's not there
and he panics, he screams out but there is no sound.
Just then the floor drops down and he is standing backwards
In the kitchen by the sink and the carpets stink like
Burnt hair and then he feels the heat
Of the devil's spawn or the devils *****
One of them and then one more
They lick up his spine and burn places
That he has hurt before
I turn around sharply
To find the clock
and the time that read
Could not really be real
It was 3:33am
Am I losing my mind?
What is this Hell?

Then the walls fell
and I lost everything again.

                        *Blood
                       ­          guts
                   - Strange *** -

They need it.
I need

Outside

               11:34am.
The man walks out of his house
The two steps are now three
The back porch is on the front porch
There is daylight and
The trees aren't there
The sky is green and
The grass is red
I've always hated christmas.

Then suddenly,
The swans appear
Black and white
They begin to pick the flesh
From his muscles
and the trees sprout out
and they are crying now
and the clouds are melting down
Onto the ozone layer
How sad this life is.

The man is still awake and in no pain
Just confused on why time slipped by
And brought these bats in the day instead of night
He closes his eyes. . .
But only for a second just to take it in and when
He opens them it was nighttime again and
He is alone in his front yard
He looks above him. . .

The stars are more beautiful than they have ever been
He drinks down the cool water of the universe
and goes back inside to lay down
It's 4:05am.

This time he lays on the couch
in the living room. . . there is
  Something right about this
          For now at least.
         He closes his eyes
   There arises a strange smile
His back begins to peel again like
Those ******* ****** are back and
  There were strange operations
   and monsters moving around
     So violently screaming and
       Slashing and ripping out
                 The better half of
          The man's sanity
            and I can't see. . .

Anything but this madness and
I don't know what time it is because
   He can't move
                             His eyes burst open
Like water from a fall
       and he lies there in such terror as he
Watches the hall scream down farther
and farther away from him so far
away that he thought briefly of his father
                                                and his mother
                                                and his sister
                                                and his lover
I wanted them near me
More than ever. . .

I then became weightless
He knew he couldn't fight it
You will never win this
I know, I will never find him
You won't make it out alive
Well we'll just have to see in due time. . .

The demons then became anxious by this
and from it they began their most
Ultimate Unholy Vengeance

So the man lied there still
and let them **** him
Until the blood in his heart
Became too fierce to stop
and too hot to boil
So the man lashed out
With a blue vein in hand
To end this horrible mashing
Of the minds and
To note the time
It was 11:34am.

What a strange hour to stand.

Will (t)his torment ever end?
Does this man even live?
and then. . .
                     I woke up
           I opened my eyes for real!
and there was my father standing before me
                Gun in hand

"Let's go!" He said. . . "We can make it out of this."

            *******.
    The woods were thick
But the dive was nice
We drove around and talked about old ****
           Good times.

**** what they told me!

I'm gonna make it out of this alright.

And then. . .
                                                               ­                     I
                                          ­                         woke up/fell asleep.

It used to be the little things that I hated
Whenever I used to watch “God” smile at me from the front door
I forgot about the thin spaces in the yard that I could hide
And then I woke up. . .

Falling through the air looked easier when I was asleep
But now the words that I search for are far more hollow than I ever dreamed
Maybe a good dream could place itself in my writing instead of going away
Like the memories of the ghost I loved

She can’t hear me anymore    
My dreams are stained with blood and gold
The good thing is once I’m old I’ll just stay broken    
Instead of burning alive and feeling alright about how loud I scream at night

Do the lies inside his body cover up the moon that you and I once howled to?
When we felt so alive and slowly made a change in our memories    
I just hope that in the times that you’re alone,
You will maybe wish upon the stars to stop completely like the trees of our yesterday

Today I’ll scream at the ground outside
People seven miles away would be able to hear my wicked thoughts

If I could just kiss your hands once more I’d lose my breathe once more
But I’d better wait and see before I believe that I could try living a few days without me and you

I’m sure that their cold faces will say okay in one holy moment tonight
Maybe they will hold enough room for the truth that would come closed up so tight
Until an angel could come out of the water and takes the strangeness away so quiet

Let me complete the silence so I can feel your new sense of love upon my rough skin

Out there in the slow house the story could **** the darkness of the old town    
The sick lonely blue rain lives only once to save the song I once sang    
****, I guess the green secret came and helped me carry along alright in my life  
And then the blood red stain stood upon the white blank page and closed down all of the searching for you that I've done

So let me please scream aloud
So that maybe I will touch those lost souls with my deep voice  
In a way that you would be so sorry that you couldn't have reached me first    
Now my brain can begin its wicked ways of passing smoke through the city
But just enough that it takes a hold of the space that runs grey strands of hate through the dirt
Please understand this isn't what's shutting down ones broken army
It’s the eyes that run across this earth and fear the horrendous storm that meets our city in the morning

Girl, I know that pain comes with beauty
But just try and continue to live past the mean handed strangers in the mucky **** of it all.
Listen to the sound of the buildings falling down around the unseen disaster
You’ll be pulling strands of your hair out because the truth will burn down the doors
You once opened when your father was still here

And yet, the waves have taken another page out of tomorrow
When you reach out for an opening, the demons will offer an eternal hello
While all the best will get clouds for the minutes when they shared a breath for the forgotten

All of the questions that these ******* humans have about my poems
Make me understand why those people are so wrong in their parting with the black sea
It starts to put feet into the holes along the path finally chosen for its sweet song sang

When I start to care again is when I will be standing high upon the mountain
With my spirit fully awake and my sight just waiting to see the lights that lead me there
And in turn my bones will be given to the wind and I’ll read the book of heaven’s secrets
And all of the demons that tried to follow me there will drown in the lines they drew to try and cover my happiness.

Finally the walls of hell will be stripped from the silence that began with the message from the lying bleeding vision that we all drank down with such comfort and ease
You knew when to turn and walk away, but you didn't and now the walls of hell are naked
Because of all the nights you spent breathing the hours away, but not asleep.
While you lied awake you couldn't help but think of a land where beautiful scenes shined with such radiant sunlight and allowed the fears of this country to drift into the streaming skies and the meaning of all the years spent smelling the dying leaves brought tears to your eyes, but you still can’t sleep.

Meet the true, imperfect writer with fingers that are getting old and bones that are falling out of order
I figured the moment to pass this dark figure would probably happen on a beach
Where the clock couldn't explain the feelings it’s kept near the broken picture on the wall
And the way I always felt underneath its stained glass would certainly put gold into the pages of this unfinished book and then hopefully onto the streets of this brand new mirror

Step don’t sink into the unknown
Don’t wave goodbye and let time pass and be a waste
Into the infinite grand opening of the birth in the foggy woods

We are miles away from the summer now
So don’t get locked up in the *******!

Use the new methods you've learned to demonstrate the new form of closing your soft lips
Use them and then throw them back into their ****** hands
Try and pull the star away fast without trying to thank them for trying so fast

The answer may be to severe to think upon now
So try and remain calm when the simple plan gets burned on the ever changing shoreline
Thank the waves for not knowing the answer but praise God when he creeps in with an obvious sign

Instead of speaking of pretty places,
Try walking through the universe to seek comfort from these stretched out speeches.

You are barely lifting a finger to mark the piece of a colorful gift that a strong yet strange reason gave to you.

Hail! All Hail!
To the thief
As mother speaks a lie
The words will stain your mind
Like a last sigh or
A hiccup in outer-space
The worst mistake
Was allowing me in. . .

Don't let me in.
Do not let me in!

I will not stay here
If they win.
If they go at it again,
I'm ******* out of here!

Do you hear what I'm saying?

Hell! Oh hell!
In the trees
There is fire in your breath
From crosses not given yet
For my mouth was wide open,
Until, it was tailored shut.
Because, the best thing
Was to not listen.

Don't listen. . .
Do not listen!

I cannot be here
With you anymore.
I shut the door and
Got the **** out of there.

Do you understand me now?

I feel like...
Uhh I feel like an unknown...
An unknown soldier
A beautiful monster
A complete disaster
Resentful of the shades of grey from my father
I fall farther
Farther away from the sun
or a son that was one
One more brighter than the sun
Alright I'll admit I didn't do much to change it from being like this with him.

I guess I could have tried and been more like the passing wind,
or the falling stars that appear for a show and then disappear back into the dark
only to be wished upon again.

Last one,
Remember the times that were spent in the woods behind our house
The closer I get to you the more I feel alive again
I wonder if it will reach your mind somehow.
Somehow, somehow I figure I must have fallen out
I fell out

I don't know the whispering answer for the unknown question from the bleeding woods
that stain my heart and tattoo my arms with all the memories and mementos
that bring me back there again with you
in the dark morning...

I'll never remember your lines again
They are unknown to me now.

Could I be your Romeo and you be my Juliet?
We can be entangled in the vines of love
Die a lovers death
and kiss a lovers kiss

The tomb, the tomb
Where we said our vows
Death is creeping beneath the sulphur smell
Let the darkness take you over

The chair, the chair
Where are you now?
Living? Dead? NO
Come back to me my love
and let the darkness take you over..

The sky, the sky
Is falling now
A star is exploding
A man is crying
and the darkness has finally taken over...


Don't forget to kiss the stars before you fade away

It's hard to see us on this bright day
When you're sitting all alone in your head
Before you continue, I must say
For the past two weeks I've been fighting back death
The sickness has finally caught up
To you... I am just a person
Trapped under this rolling rock
To me... I am the monster
Hidden behind your door that is locked

You reeled me out then cut the string.

It's hard to see how this love works
When you're standing in a dark and empty hall
No ceilings, No lights
No ending at all
Just you and your lonely black heart
Beating. Screaming out to the wall
Take the clock down. Reset.
Rewind the tape. It's over.
Be sure and retrace your steps
To find nothing at all. No lover.

It's hard to see how beautiful you are
When the thirst for something is always more
You hide your face in material scars
Just open those eyes and unlock the door
There you'll find a mirror and a heart
Take a good look and think back to the start
Maybe next time you'll choose the right one to break
I hope that it's that thought will keep you awake.

How does one navigate down the river
In one piece?
Or is that the order of the dark water
To rip and shred changes through eternity
I’ve been accustomed to change
But this is a dream
This makes life seem so strange
I love it
It has turned me inside out
It makes me feel alive for the first time
In a long while
How can I explain things?
How could one understand without being
In and out of every moment
Once believed to be so important
The beloved that live there
The one that lives here
Our lives are too crossed for the end of the crossroads now.

We are far from over
I’m just getting started

I’ll see you there...

Are you sick?
Have you lived with this pain enough?
Do you enjoy my torture?
Can you feel my patience?
Have you loved before?
Does your soul scream?
Searching, leaving. . .

Do you want me back?
Could you live through the attack?
Lay down flat on your back
and let’s see. . .

Could you take me?
Place your hand there
Feel the hole opening
That once was my heart
No more, not here

Maybe it is you that could fill that part

But I won’t wait
I can’t. . .

My life won’t allow me to do such a thing

Will you ever see?
You can. . .

I’m outside of school
by the soggy banks
of an empty lake.

These scenes of aggression stab through the depression
Holy times flickering against a wall with a slow burning feeling
Salvation is on the tips of our tongues
Our final days are appearing... over the horizon
Blood stains the sun and watches us wither and writhe
Like an anxious man standing at the end of a line
How many more times will this haze cover the way home?
Hungry for something more that lies will not reach
Lying face down on the white sandy beach
Found the last known residence of her other world.
Now close your eyes I am way out of reach.

Nothing like a closed door.
Locked out.

I have to c̶r̶o̶s̶s̶  ̶o̶u̶t̶
The names of her disciples.
Like a corroded mob boss
Hung on pills and grass.
Wasted manhood
A shotgun +

I passed the time to care -

The darkness sets
In yellow circles and square stones
I'll let go of them tomorrow.
But, that's what I always say,
Dear God, please!!

The plastic-faced-man
Will shut out the only light.
It's been a real pleasure -

Thank you reader,
For not reading this too
Far into and out of space
and to note the time it's
Twelve o' clock
You're on the midnight express,
Just you outside and in the stars.
"Is the devil here?"
I guess that'll make three,
So just put me in

As well. As the story goes,
I'm getting old and restless
Impatient and tired of this
World around me; the corner folds me
Back around the world and
I'm stuck on a knuckle.
What funky luck, ******!

Lay me down and ask,
"What's going on stranger?**"

When will they know me?



   I want them to feel the soft caress

The moment they lie still

I want her to know what it’s like to be killed

                                                         ­                    Under it all

I thought it was a message

Written in the stars

  The cause was in the trees



                                        You saw it

                               You saw me standing there

                     Glowing in the moonlight

           Behind your eyes

You thought that…

                                                          ­    Do you remember me?



            The shade of blue that casts over you



                                            In your eyes

                                         I forgot the time

                                             That it was

                                           Not important



Now…

             The time is too late

             To remember your face

             In front of mine



                                                         For an elaborate mind, it seemed

                      You were never there



                                                  Brushing away the webs from my staircase



Now the path has become a memory for me to venture down alone



                             Hand in hand with fate

                                 A kiss on the cheek  



This is a ****** up poetic ending

                                                         ­              to the reflection on the water



                          A face once remembered in the sunset.

At about
                                   Nine o' clock

                                                          ­                                                           Before

The end
Of
The month
Of
My birth

     I will
                 Not
                         Be
Standing here
                        On
                         this
               dying
      earth

                                              ­                            Without you
                                                           My love
      I will
                         Be                                                  
Standing   ­              somewhere              
                                                                ­                                             above                                
                                                                ­ up
                  way                                 ­                             star
                             ­               your
with

In my                                                               ­                                                                 ­             right eye

with
                                             the
                  on                                   ­                              moon
                                                          ­       my
                                                          ­                                                     neck

    The scars    will
Be               on
      the sun
and             I will
         still
Be           on
                     another
     planet

Watch                 for                                              it


H    y     ­ a         s            a   n         d             S   t  e            n    o     r     n      c h  u s          
L      i           q          u      i   d   c  r     y      s   t a     l   s     an d  S e   a    H o   r s e s    
A           c   e             r     a        o   r        t     h   e     W  i   t c    h    e    s      D  a   n  ce          

Iwillmeetyouonthefaceofthesun
Oratthebottomofthe­sea

                                                        I'm waiting for you to tell me.

Because it's quiet

that's why I write ****

that's when the best ****

comes alive

through the screen

The lights fade from orange to white

and I'm a ghost trapped in between

Shapes fading into one

Watch their faces change colors into none

We all fall down into something unknown



My mind seems like a children's book

changing characters after every scene



I feel a little sick

Influenza has gotten the better of me

This is what D.R.U.G.S. do

Destroy rebuild until God shows

When?

I wanna meet the dude in person

Close my eyes - I've forgotten what I was saying

                          ^until

you see through your own eyes

the blood that I fear for life

don't let it creep through

the forest and the leaves

I'm tripping on the branches

Falling in the trees

I wish I was stronger to get through

I'll see throughthefireandtheflames

I'll see the otherside

My eyes will break free

I write this scrambled message
Not as the youthful brown eyed child
That started this. . . this. . . this. . .
(I don't even know what this is)
But as a broken back with limbs
As crooked as my being
Like the branches of the old knotty tree
The stuck together pieces of this version of me

You are leaving my thoughts
Running out like they did
But this heart, not heart
This mind won't let me stop
It will not let this through
But what is this?

The stories I've written down in blood
Are getting soaked in the rain and
That old punished vampire has gotten a drift
Of the scent of this blood soaked page and
He can't help but want to come out and
Drink it down to replenish the ink
From his withered and snapped feather pen
In one final attempt to write down this
Last scrambled message of a dying man. . .

"I'm through trying,
Please just understand
That this is not for you
This is the answer and
The question that
I have always asked
Has been replaced with this.

This is what I must do
I'm leaving to find it.

This is the end. . ."

But,
What is it?
&
Who are you?

It’s* always the same

Everyone, Everything

It’s all the same

I want to see you

The naked truth

Clothed armies of your mind

Closed hallways aren’t the kind

To heal and regret nothing

You’ve always struggled, with that

Wondered – Power up

                                                           ­                                                                 ­             Unexplained mysteries

The missing pieces

The stars between us

I’m over it almost

Stay forever naked by the phone

I have no soul

Your words are missed

No conscience


Falling in,      and not,        floating out,        of it anymore


Find the God

The home




                                                                ­                                                                 ­                             **Burn it

Words spilled out
broken up
burned away
ashed out cash out
take the last wave out

our fragile intakes

complete the sentence
    the red fox. . .

words mean nothing
when your mind is closing
words mean nothing
when your not listening

I'm not listening
I have not been listening
have you been hearing this
or is the damage to your head
to severe
to severe
to severe

way more than you'll ever need my dear
is this a sign of the end

are we losing this?

words not spoken
they understand
nothing

When did things get this real?
What happened when I last saw you?
Did the words I say not mean a ******* thing?
I guess, my vision is a little blurry
But all I see, all I need is a little concentration
All you are is a voice of my past
The wind sings songs of my sins
But the water cleanses my burnt skin
It washed my rough hands clean of the blood from the ancients
The sky is getting darker
And your words are only getting softer
My ears and eyes can't take the lashing that I deserve
But there is no time to be hasty or rash
The decisions that are made, cannot be replaced
So that is when you get off of your high tower and drown yourself in your fears
They have come back from the dead to haunt you
The ghost won't stop
She was unrelenting
I can hear you begging for daylight to come
Please wake me from this horrible day-dream
It is all too real
I don't think I can stand you anymore
My heart and mind cannot take the beating I deserve.
I have put up with this for the last time
I don't think I deserve this
I have taken as much as I ever could
I am truly done trying
Get ready to live or continue your life lying.

All I needed was your word.
But it's all too late now.
The worms have eaten their way into my brain.
And yet, all I hear is your ******* and complaining

I have lived for you, for the last ******* time.

We will build a carriage
Out of ice and nice dreams
To take us across the bridge of screams
And sighs like nights passed through
The sorry trees

With their necks soon to be cut
From the hand of the son of the old father
And the new fathers sons will arise
And cut his old fathers throat
And watch the signs fill up with
Eyes in disbelief

They have known and know
Rights to snap and creak
The speechless mouth
Of the fathers son
Wide open on a sour leaf
With a strand of hair
In the shower drain

Clogged up and
Stained down
To the core

I wanted more
I never settled for less
I waited for
I saw you at your best

You gave me your eyes
I took them into mine
And drowned slowly
In your beautiful ocean

I have earth like a tree
                                    Girth inside the planet
Like the monsters inside of me
                                                              ­                                                    Eating up lungs
                                                  Drinking excessive blood

They have an abundance of flesh
                                                and blood - an hour spent
                                                           ­                                                  on blood and hours
                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                            left
         on stone benches
and                                 blonde                                          haired         ­                                       witches
                  ­                                              
                                                                ­   - consume me -

                              Every night -------------------------------------------------------- every timE                
                                            ­                      
                                          ­                      It's worse than the night
                                                           ­       Scared of the spotlight

                                                      ­                                                               Why did you have to look at me?
                                                             ­                                         With those deep blue eyes
                                                            ­                      At times I am rather shy
                                          and I collapse when tempted
                       But only from you
                                                             ­                                                               an­d all that
You do, you do all that
You do, to pull me out
Of the fire in the seagulls mouth
                                                           ­ and into yours. . .
                                            With my shame arising!

              I should have ran into your arms
               Like a child awoken from my nightmare

My savior is hidden in your eyes

Open them love
                and let me
                    Fill back up
             On the precious blood

Of the lamb. . .

I'm getting this **** down
Because it’s my last night in town
You could make a man want to leave everything
I have left everything
I came back in to see what smile you had on your face
When I heard the door slam
I knew it was over
Right when I walked out
I had a new lover
Her name was freedom
And I was a fighter
I broke down that wall
And built one higher
That is where I am now
I'm a ******* freedom writer
I have been under your stars
I remember seeing you fall
I believe, you brought me back home
When everyone was too ****** up to drive
We had nothing left to do
But live or die
The decision was lingering in the air
I didn't care, You weren't there
I'm sorry we had to meet under these conditions
Just wait up for me tonight
I promise I'll be there
Right when your eyes lower and you sink off
Into a great unknown
I'm there with you.

This is just
The way of the world.

The question is
This seemingly unknown

Shadow |
             | against the wall
             |

A white cat
     and her blackenedface
Met once more
          for last sniffs
      To pass on alone.
                                    .
                    ­        Under
Lightning bolts -       .
                            Ground
                        ­            .
Shredded to pieces;
I saw them
                    briefly
and I coughed
    Once or twice
But it still wasn't right.
      
        This isn't a
Side         -         show
        It's            the
            last hole

To leave your shame in.

The soul departed
and m   ix e   d    in
With the earth's beautiful
colours. So fascinating the
        s m   e  l l.

Hell is no place
To speakthink about.
It exists only
For those who need it
To. . .

Dried minds are always welcome

and for that I say,
"Well done."

I'll just stay here and float
Down
                     -
                                 stream

With the other loving
Multi-coloured souls.