I often enjoy being off of the ground.
The feeling of having no control
Is exhilarating and tormenting
All at once, we all could be gone at once
Like a kiss or a whisper back to her
In the purple veil of the night that stirs
All the colours of our lives together
Then brings us back

Up the mountain is a hurried curled breeze
and I'm shaking, still
The cable car is off the rails
And my ears pop as I get closer away
Farther today than yesterday, okay.

So I like to see the other women smile
Back at me like a soft Medusa
It's like an ice cube on the asphalt
That never freezes or melts
Too close to or to close the school.
Down the walkway where her eyes close
The door that opens and I walk out
With the invisible monsters on my bag
On the saddest, red day of my life
I still somehow stole a smile from her
Face me and taze me with your torpedo *******
Then let me go home

Make the light fade from the eight by twelve inch
Picture frame of the world
That moves and moves faster than you can't see
Believe the memo, believe
The note inside your mind says it all
It says. . .

       "Please don't go,
         I'll eat you whole."

Again and again
We run out of words to lend out
Of love and death above
The tomb is red and I'm finally done
With this

My last poem. . .
Oh ****!
Do you feel it?
I'm almost home. . .

        Nevermind. . .

Yeah, there is a real shiver
Silver sliver of cold medicine
Made it so bitter to swallow
This headache down and up

The rocking chair rots in the sky
Lay down, lay down
Goodbye.
Goodnight.

This is going to start out as a story about
Not knowing if you are fully alive and awake or
Still lying in bed, dead asleep.

But, we'll see where that takes us...

Opening scene

It's 2:54am.
He wakes up in a fury
He's covered in sweat
and for some reason he's crying.
But the room is so dark that
He doesn't quite know where he is.
I fall to the floor and scramble around for
The little light under the door but it's not there
and he panics, he screams out but there is no sound.
Just then the floor drops down and he is standing backwards
In the kitchen by the sink and the carpets stink like
Burnt hair and then he feels the heat
Of the devil's spawn or the devils *****
One of them and then one more
They lick up his spine and burn places
That he has hurt before
I turn around sharply
To find the clock
and the time that read
Could not really be real
It was 3:33am
Am I losing my mind?
What is this Hell?

Then the walls fell
and I lost everything again.

                        *Blood
                       ­          guts
                   - Strange *** -

They need it.
I need

Outside

               11:34am.
The man walks out of his house
The two steps are now three
The back porch is on the front porch
There is daylight and
The trees aren't there
The sky is green and
The grass is red
I've always hated christmas.

Then suddenly,
The swans appear
Black and white
They begin to pick the flesh
From his muscles
and the trees sprout out
and they are crying now
and the clouds are melting down
Onto the ozone layer
How sad this life is.

The man is still awake and in no pain
Just confused on why time slipped by
And brought these bats in the day instead of night
He closes his eyes. . .
But only for a second just to take it in and when
He opens them it was nighttime again and
He is alone in his front yard
He looks above him. . .

The stars are more beautiful than they have ever been
He drinks down the cool water of the universe
and goes back inside to lay down
It's 4:05am.

This time he lays on the couch
in the living room. . . there is
  Something right about this
          For now at least.
         He closes his eyes
   There arises a strange smile
His back begins to peel again like
Those ******* ****** are back and
  There were strange operations
   and monsters moving around
     So violently screaming and
       Slashing and ripping out
                 The better half of
          The man's sanity
            and I can't see. . .

Anything but this madness and
I don't know what time it is because
   He can't move
                             His eyes burst open
Like water from a fall
       and he lies there in such terror as he
Watches the hall scream down farther
and farther away from him so far
away that he thought briefly of his father
                                                and his mother
                                                and his sister
                                                and his lover
I wanted them near me
More than ever. . .

I then became weightless
He knew he couldn't fight it
You will never win this
I know, I will never find him
You won't make it out alive
Well we'll just have to see in due time. . .

The demons then became anxious by this
and from it they began their most
Ultimate Unholy Vengeance

So the man lied there still
and let them **** him
Until the blood in his heart
Became too fierce to stop
and too hot to boil
So the man lashed out
With a blue vein in hand
To end this horrible mashing
Of the minds and
To note the time
It was 11:34am.

What a strange hour to stand.

Will (t)his torment ever end?
Does this man even live?
and then. . .
                     I woke up
           I opened my eyes for real!
and there was my father standing before me
                Gun in hand

"Let's go!" He said. . . "We can make it out of this."

            *******.
    The woods were thick
But the dive was nice
We drove around and talked about old ****
           Good times.

**** what they told me!

I'm gonna make it out of this alright.

And then. . .
                                                               ­                     I
                                          ­                         woke up/fell asleep.

On this soggy morning,
I am back to the shell of the man
That walks these treacherous halls
With nothing but the solemn cause
On my mind that is the only reason
Of why I put myself into this hell.

I hate that I can't figure it out for you

Today, the sky is grey
And I can still see
That you are okay
With knowing that
We will not make it
Out of here alive!

And then there will be
The blue people
In their little vans
Coming up fast
To hold our hands
While they gather up the last
Crafty pieces of our skulls
And the hard faced woman
Will stand still when
Noticed or breathed upon

Like a diamond watch
Or a golden lock
To keep me out
Of the Kingdom of Heaven

I am too worthless to fly away
But I can see the tops of the mountains
As I lay dying on this hard face
Of the wicked woman that placed me here
In this pine box to die as the chosen one
For those who will remain lost.

So long hollow man,
I know you not.

I write this scrambled message
Not as the youthful brown eyed child
That started this. . . this. . . this. . .
(I don't even know what this is)
But as a broken back with limbs
As crooked as my being
Like the branches of the old knotty tree
The stuck together pieces of this version of me

You are leaving my thoughts
Running out like they did
But this heart, not heart
This mind won't let me stop
It will not let this through
But what is this?

The stories I've written down in blood
Are getting soaked in the rain and
That old punished vampire has gotten a drift
Of the scent of this blood soaked page and
He can't help but want to come out and
Drink it down to replenish the ink
From his withered and snapped feather pen
In one final attempt to write down this
Last scrambled message of a dying man. . .

"I'm through trying,
Please just understand
That this is not for you
This is the answer and
The question that
I have always asked
Has been replaced with this.

This is what I must do
I'm leaving to find it.

This is the end. . ."

But,
What is it?
&
Who are you?

At about
                                   Nine o' clock

                                                          ­                                                           Before

The end
Of
The month
Of
My birth

     I will
                 Not
                         Be
Standing here
                        On
                         this
               dying
      earth

                                              ­                            Without you
                                                           My love
      I will
                         Be                                                  
Standing   ­              somewhere              
                                                                ­                                             above                                
                                                                ­ up
                  way                                 ­                             star
                             ­               your
with

In my                                                               ­                                                                 ­             right eye

with
                                             the
                  on                                   ­                              moon
                                                          ­       my
                                                          ­                                                     neck

    The scars    will
Be               on
      the sun
and             I will
         still
Be           on
                     another
     planet

Watch                 for                                              it


H    y     ­ a         s            a   n         d             S   t  e            n    o     r     n      c h  u s          
L      i           q          u      i   d   c  r     y      s   t a     l   s     an d  S e   a    H o   r s e s    
A           c   e             r     a        o   r        t     h   e     W  i   t c    h    e    s      D  a   n  ce          

Iwillmeetyouonthefaceofthesun
Oratthebottomofthe­sea

                                                        I'm waiting for you to tell me.

I am open now
The panic ran all around me
But I still remained calm
With the thought of a hint
That I should have questioned sooner

There are too many things to blurt out
In hopes of making you smile

In stripes of golden feathers
I must not let the black ones in
Their legs shaking me off
Every which way and that
****** me off
Snuffed me out

I pulled away from you
Just to see what you could do
Alone in the same way that
You put me there
With all the love still fresh off the bone

Bring all of my fans and their bottles
You will need my blood remember?

You shouldn't have asked
With the last few remaining breaths
That lay curdled up on my chest
The greatest fear had left me
I am closed now

I would rather eat every grain of sand
Off of every white sand - black sand beach
For a thousand - two thousand lifetimes
Than be anywhere near you or them
and to attempt and cough out every reason
Why I must do this and leave again.

There is not enough fire
On this God forsaken earth
That could come close to that
Inside of my heart and
My eyes will never close
Or come close to your mouth
As long as there is water
In the salty seas and as long as
That blackwater flows
Through the old oak trees. . .

I will never be inside of you again.

There won't ever be an end
As long as you keep adding more
And more pieces to the conclusion.

The story is over,
It's time to go to sleep.

The strangeness arises. . .

I feel your young hand creep up
My old spine, as it crumbles
Apart into four pieces
Knives turn into forks
Like lives burnt into the north star
The big dipper pulls out
And back and forth
Into our only sight and you say

"The sky swims away with the day
and the clouds will all drift away. . ."

Soon enough they will,
When we meet again on those ****** city
streets. . .

Can you believe it?
As a star is made to rule them all!
Collisions make memories
Into classes I'll fail. . .

I'll fall down around you,
Like the comets do
And I will most certainly see it
Happen and I'll just happen to be
downtown where you are not
With me. . .

Alone
           &
Alive for sure!

Until we collide on the shore
I'll be waiting for. . .

This morning,*

I confused a moving car
For a running fox squirrel
This is a problem to me. . .
This ****** city is bleeding its
***** blood over my eyes and its
Making me anxious to take that first step up
Up the rain soaked stairs to that quiet home
Upstairs on the dead floor

Not another living soul but me

In this clearing mo(u)rning
The trees still cry out
From over a thousand acres of land
“God’s good earth is leaving!”
I am leaving then!

I’ve said it before*

I’ll push the start early
Just to see it end and crash
Before I can ever get out alive

Watch me bleed over this
This abandoned concrete wall
All over these hollow ******* halls
These imposing empty skyscrapers that pierce
Her skies and my eyes still see you

I will call you out
This will be my final move
Never again will I be back
I will never return to you

The ferocity of my wrath on this feral city
Will start again after the next one hundred days.

I will never cease to
   be released to
      the underworld
         above your cloud
In your ****** hair
   the sand says to
      stay slightly shady
        and wave quietly to
           the ghosts on shore
Friends and demons
   Crash on the collapsed dunes
      I'll wait for you
         To marry the sky
            In the silence of the wind
Lady of the night
    Stray the sunshine away
        Glass shards in my red eyes
            Cans of old beer are there
               Still in the grass
I'll be sitting in the memory
    Of the sun from yesterday
        Today's little smile in the night
            Your precious hands carry me there
I wonder why I never tried
   Harder and harder our stone got
        While it was drenched in the rain
            As the trees fell down
               My two palms were set ablaze
We sent up a smoke signal
    To the God(s) in heaven or the hell
        In your life, seven lives, two lines

The otherside will show us a certain door
Where the people all live equally and infinitely

I hurt
          to be
                                                                                   seen                 by



                       Someone
                                        
                                                     other than

                                           the     other
                                                                                                                                Someone
          that                                  I
                                                      must
                                                               hurt
                                                                                                          to       see.

I wonder about the true shape of her body
The curves and swoops of it
Curves and then swoops around mine
And it makes me wonder about
The true shape of her body

Mouth open wide with
The eyes right behind
Mine and you’re
Behind my eyes
With a mouth wide open

Clothes pinned up and back
Out of the way
Night falls and I repeat myself
And turn myself back inside out

I love the feeling
Of your sunset on my ocean bay

The orange hands of your rays
Enter the bluish green spans
Of my salty waves
And then leads me back
Into the gentle night
When we took our last breaths

I have to leave now. . .

They are on their way back
To rip away the last bit
The last remaining flesh
Around the muscle around
The veins entwined in them

Chaos turns every which way
Under and around the bones
That I’ve broken for time to find
The most important treasure
Inside my chest, behind the curtains
Of hollow homes

Every mother must scream out
In the vile veil of the dark night
As the father slips away and
Pleases his own delight

Curses, curses, curses!

I hate the eyes in my head
They see and seal the images
Burnt out and carried in
Ships now shipwrecked in
The most peaceful place in my mind

I tried to fight it down
But the ocean just wouldn’t swallow
The irreplaceable hole in my heart

Is this how life will always be?
With only but two pages left
To complete the message to you
Make that one set in

Does this mean that I am
Only one page from death?

****,
I wonder where
My eyes will be

When you come crashing through that door

Just one last time.

Let me be like the waterfall
In your dreamland forest. . .

I’ll never stop running down
Don’t ever stop flowing for them

But my cool water will only
Be for you my lioness
I will poison the others
When they try and think
That they know how a moving
Body as mine could
Just keep moving on over
A smooth body like yours
But not this time

You collapsed the bottom
Of the pit where I hold
All of the darkest **** in my life
And you knew it, but not really
Your diamond eyes
Saw right through me

I saw a little kitten appear
Out of the thick crowd
Of chickens and near-death
Running bulls and run up to me
And say “You remind me of someone”

But he is dead already
Rest in peace

Until we can finally meet
Again on the blurry banks
Of the crystal blue springs

In your eyes

We will build a carriage
Out of ice and nice dreams
To take us across the bridge of screams
And sighs like nights passed through
The sorry trees

With their necks soon to be cut
From the hand of the son of the old father
And the new fathers sons will arise
And cut his old fathers throat
And watch the signs fill up with
Eyes in disbelief

They have known and know
Rights to snap and creak
The speechless mouth
Of the fathers son
Wide open on a sour leaf
With a strand of hair
In the shower drain

Clogged up and
Stained down
To the core

I wanted more
I never settled for less
I waited for
I saw you at your best

You gave me your eyes
I took them into mine
And drowned slowly
In your beautiful ocean

I know you that way
and only the same
As the devil knows me

I know that you can see
This thing you call a smile
It isn't real
It is a picture perfect portrait
That you painted
For yourself
To remember
The good ol' days.

Do the nights still
Pass along like
The string of bad thoughts
That are strung out in
This poem
Out on one
Of the last pages
That you will never read

My brain fell out and
Stained the page that
I tried so hard to keep
Clean of the pain and sin
Of my bleeding and rough hands
But that is impossible
For my cracked hands
Have clawed my smashed brain
Clean of the good things
That were once upon the black screen.

I'm losing my youth
My sanity is loose
It's been years and years
Of girls, drugs and *****
Living fast, shoeless
***** feet take me
Up and down the beach
To the hill where there will be
Love all around.

Subtle and smooth
Kind with youth
and a sort of shifting
Truth; a constant variable

They always enchant me so - my soul
They always draw my eyeballs a perfect
picture, a painting of The End.

Though,
I am still not satisfied with it
It only flourishes with wisdom

The philosophy a fire

The lessons learned from
The cloaked figures

Approaching and speaking

Only a change in the mind
       could take them away

I must have lived a great life then
I must have conquered and scattered
My remains and the remains of it
Across time and into this life
For me to have all of these memories
And mistakes and memories of mistakes

From lives that seem already lived
Once before this

Speak up shortly and then
Toss my body in a shallow grave

Don’t hang on
For God has told me
That I’m wrong
So therefore, I will go out
With nothing but this poem

To(o)
Lead them home.

This coldness
That I hold on to is
Worth more than a river
Of gold and it's
Flowing faster and faster
Through the veins of this
Wicked city
And into and out of the
Eyes and mouths
Of all those that remained seated

I watch them as they watch me
Why don't they turn around
Am I all that they need?
There is a certain balance needed
To see the real me
The real Andy

I want you to tell me your name
Let me in on your little secret ghost
I could replace its face into mine
Without the complacent feelings
Of your wrongs and haunts
From the day before today.

Its cold outside and you're still asleep
So when you come to and I am not there
Do not be disturbed with fright
There will be a dream waiting for you there

On the other-side of the night.

Am I just a pawn
Yet to be
Played out?

I see the eyes that see mine
and I feel their strange smiles
Creep up and down
The edge of my crooked spine

Could you get the time?
(Even if you knew it)
To look at me, not through me
(Now is your chance to prove it)

Show me what you're worth
Are you worth it?

Am I?

This is just completely unnatural
A force of nature
That is just completely unreal
For my heart to cure

Brown, black, yellow and red
My heads are on fire
With the unknown problems
That I hold and I hold
A ring full of broken keys
I wonder which doors they will open

For me,

My body just can't seem to get enough
Of their lovely poison.

The crooked legs of a girl lost in the wilderness of my black eyes
Gathered up all the information needed to even begin to write down
The true meaning behind me and the truth behind these untold lies.

I'm all wrapped up yet;
Somewhat deflated
In this violent accordion like
Room with that old red chair
In the left side of my sight

I am a bow, slowly eating snow
Flakes, down the strings of this
Broken fiddle in the middle of
My shaken and scarred,
Shattered yet calm hand.

Beyond my lucky star
Lies the remains of the reasons
From out of this empty bottle
The words that I need to write
Are the answers to my mental problems

But I answer to no one
No I do not!
I follow my own toes
and I knows that my nose
Knows that smell, the smell

Of her blood.
The veins extrude and
Fiercely scream out
Of her soft neck
and little thighs

There is no more
Apple juice
That's okay I like
Lemonade
Anyways,

A little cut in my eye
Bleeds out sour blood,
it's an interesting thing

To save some middle time
I will skip around a little more
In this giant sun of a life
I'll find my body song
One day seven

She can get into my lightning
and see life. . . AH!
So much more
It's like heaven trapped in a bell jar

Drink it up and have a look around your confusing world

Need I say more?
I like you
But only a little bit

Can you show me anymore
Than this?

I started by breathing out
Loud in a darkened room
Her hands and my feet connect
And lace our better essence together
For a few good shakes and turns

With a spirit there (where we kissed)
Or a feather floating (in that room)

I made the better choice to not look away. . .

My cheeks are circled with red
You are barely breathing and
Trying not to show the other-side of
Your nightly dream of me

You dream a lot of me
A lot more than I remember of you
I do have dreams but they are
Mostly terrors of my haunted youth

I have a lot of feelings and
Many things to put them in
But your dark room clouds the place
Above my head and below my neck

You can kiss away softly. . .

Let me tell you about the night when
The fingers and lips will meet
To form connections that join the hands
                                                                   and feet.

Today
You have made a grave man dance
A glance around the room
And they're all dancing too

Drowning in the bass
Shapes arise all around
Its the placement of plates
And you can see right through me

Its a question of science and biology
Science in biology and the anatomy
Of our dancing feet
Our trembling hands
Pull shades down
Over all that the eyes have done

What have I done
To make a question seem like another
One or two three games to play
Another day to see their dancing feet

All the things that we should feel
Everything, everything, everything
Is a circle
Its a guess around game
We just mess around and
Fall into reverse
And then

Go back to the start
Play it again for me
Steal it now
Its dark outside tonight

Darker than your heart and soul
I swear on my heart and soul

Oh no, ohh ohhh no. . .
Oh no. . .

I pull myself
Out of
The
Inside
of the light.

I have welcomed you back, my love
Welcome back to hell.

I issued a fair warning to the call-man
On the watchtower, I told him
          “Would you believe this if I told you?”
          “You tell him that I am coming for him!”
          “. . . and there will be more than hell to pay. . .”

More than I could have ever dreamed. . .
His blood is my blood
&
My blood is his.
I will drown in it one day.

He walks slowly into the center of my vision.
I smell a false sense of fear,
Was it I or him that reeked of this
Blurred illusion of what we both shook from?
I heard a child’s laughter in the fog (again)
Was it I or him that brought this
Old demon back in?
I saw a trembling hand raise
As the fire blazed in and out
A knife became shape (again)
Was it I or him that first reckoned this
Evil deed of sin?
I felt the blade slide in (again)
Was it I or him that took this
Task, this burden, this dream
And crafted it into our own ****** up reality
The blood was thick on the ground
I taste that old familiar taste
That ironic, irony, iron taste . . . old blood
But again, was it I or him that began
To sink not swim into this
River of blood?

My throat is fully coated in iron
(Steal diamonds and gold)
From that nightmare/dream
And I lie here in my bed and think back
To “where the **** is my coat?’

I always have this feeling.
That there are these following
Eyes always on my back
Or on the top of my head
Or in my black blood. . .
Do you know what I mean?
It is in a sense, comforting?
And completely sickening all at
Once and I have nothing left
To speak at all.

But one time, sometime ago
I felt a strange relief.
No more eyes on the back
Of my head or your head on my
Spiny back; crooked teeth
Straightened back out
By the cold streets
Of those bizarre,
              ******,
and draining
cities.

Saint Pete, Oh Saint Peter!
Where are you now?
Your smooth shadiness and weird wilderness
Covered up my sins but only for a little bit
A moment in a movement inward
Inside my lungs, I breathe you in
I’m going outside and out of my mind
They forgive me for my sins. . .
But, I still love you.

Saint Augustine, Saint Augustine!
I will be back to you
I will let your silly green water
Take me in and bring me home
I’ve been too far gone for far too long
Sliding around the other stars in this galaxy
Seeing the inside of some strange girls
In the complete capture of a crutch coma
I let you go. . .
But, I still love you.

I thank you both,
(True Gentlemen)
(Wicked Women)
For your hands

They were there
(For Strength)
(For Shade)
To cover the curse

Of these
(Dying)
(Lying)
Eyes

Oh, what I would give
To just, kiss those sweet lips
Or to
Feel her soft skin under
My calloused fingertips
And the shaking of her small hips
The pressing of her tight hands
On my sparrow chest

My God
It’s delicious. . .

The skin of her neck
Matches that
Of the skin
On her thighs
It is smooth and reflective
Just as the naughty night.

Is one kiss enough,
To bring this to life?

Or should we walk
Hand-in-hand?

And disappear into only
Into the moon's sight. . .

And suddenly. . . I was there!!!

Amazed by what I saw
The truth lies in the middle
On the road for six years
And honestly I don’t care
If I ever make it back alive.

The small stones in the road
Represent the fragments of my skull
That I left in many different
Black holes across this wicked
Universe and in this second verse.

I love when the rain falls
I feel you
I love the smell that is left
When you stay the night
I feel your fingers slide
Softly
          d
          o
          w
          n
­            
          d
          o
          w
          n
­       my back
and my head
Cannot grip this memory and keep it
Together for you
Long enough
To shake me out of the crossfire
And back into that sparrow’s nest
Of hair that I call my home, you know
Girl, you need to know what’s going on
On the other-side
Your life is going nowhere down there
Midtown is not downtown
It is the final circle of hell
And you are just getting started
I’m getting all backwards and forwards
Is ****** for good stories

Take a step, take a breath back
In and out, out and in
A little love, loves a little sin

I want you
I want you too
I want you to remember

**This

I have studied your ways
For many days now
Every move so patient
You are not like me
I am not
Calm like you are
Except when
That breeze runs through
My mind and
Then moves to your eyes
and then it likes to move
Around the other ways;
Around them,
To find
You there
I'm not there,
But you say to
Be there
So I will be. . .

You never seem to change
Like I do
Or like my mind
I should say

I see this in you. . .

&

I try and understand
The feelings that arise
Like a fire in your
Holy Wilderness.
Naked in
Times of confusion

I love confusion
I hate confusion

Its where I felt you first
and where you first
Saw my unholy wildness.
Naked in
The fire that once
Consumed the feelings
In my life

&

You could see that!

But,
I couldn't see through
The blaze
The purple haze
The strange days
That they too had
Already seen

But I think that you had
Already seen me
Coming
Going
Spiraling into my violent
Rage

So you took the time
To study me and
Seek me out
Instead of the other way
Around

You excepted my
Screaming and shouting
The twisting and turning
That I have so doubted

You are the one

&

I think I like this. . .

I don't know what
I am looking for. . .

But I found you
and you solved
that problem.

Oh tree,
Sweet tree
How you know me
How I envy your strength
Your energy rooted so deep
In the veins of my arms
And in my boney fingers
As I feel my way around
Your many alien features
&
Your sweet hair
That
Blows and leaves
Little traces of you
In the strands of stringy-like sand
Every where you are
&
Every where you are not
People will die
People have always died over
Your precious life. . .

So tree,
Sweet tree
My tree
The only one
That really knows me
Take me in your arms
Let me feel the warmth
Of your sister sun
Your spiritual entity
and my holy one
That neither one of us
Shall ever truly see
Or know
But I know
That you know
That both of us
Cannot live
Without the other
We would be ghosts
Behind the shadows

So tree,
Be the brother
That I never had
Be my father
Because I cannot look at him
Anymore, you see?
I can't look into the eyes
Of the man that has made me who I am
The mystery, the disaster, the one
Who stops for nothing
And that wins nothing
For being nothing

I am something!

But you are
You are everything
That I am not
You are everything
That they aren't
You are everything
That he wants
and wants me to be

I want to be more than that!

I want you to be. . .

My lover, my brother
My mother, my father
My tree. . . I must know
Will you have me?

Because
I know you can save me
&
Together you and I
Can save them all.

Is it I - the one
Me, who has to
strangle on this
side of
the morning?

With the lashes
of dew still
dripping, tripping
off of the
edge of
the fire.

Reminders
left there - all curled
up and slowly
deceasing
down into
the open eye.

Fog languidly
sweeps up from
our hollow valley
and begins to
eat away

slowly and slowly
into our
lives; Built on
chaos and
disarray from

Each other.
Can
you feel it?
Can
you feel
the thunder?

The Majestic,
The Majesty
Of the
Unknown. . .
The whispering
voices.

Awakened by
her songs
in the soggy
morning light.

A crack in
the shades,
reveals a
world

waiting to
be found,
when you
decide

to be a
man and
put

your shirt
back on
and

realize that
you've
just

dreamt
that
same

old dream

again. . .

I have had to **** you dear

Deer in the forest
Woods of my life
It was the
Closest I'd ever been to love
A fleeting glimpse
Shadows about the grey tents
Words caught on a hook
That shouldn't have been spoke
Into the ears that we pierce
On the street below the balcony
Or something that was in the way

I'm tired of losing this battle
The enemy at the gates
Behind me is crying
Because I can't be saved

But,

I'm not afraid of the ghost
The ghost is not afraid of me
I am the ghost that you fear
You are the one
That I must ****, dear

I hate it
The days in between
The milestones
That have been carved
Out of my bones
I hate it

When the shade hits my back
When can we go home?

I'll phone your best friend and
Tell her that I've always loved you
But her image has since disappeared
I lost you, out in the wilderness
The memory is not so clear
Anymore

Why didn't you come back?
Was his flesh enough to fill the hole
In your little life?
The cut across my neck
Bleeds and pours and sings for more
Of the taste of rust (iron blood)
From the knife
I once gave you there

So why don't you just **** me off, dear?
Like a deer in the forest
Hiding in the woods of my lie
The creator Is nauseous
I drank too much last night

Insomnia goes hand in hand with amnesia
What was I talking about?
Again. . .

I have earth like a tree
                                    Girth inside the planet
Like the monsters inside of me
                                                              ­                                                    Eating up lungs
                                                  Drinking excessive blood

They have an abundance of flesh
                                                and blood - an hour spent
                                                           ­                                                  on blood and hours
                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                            left
         on stone benches
and                                 blonde                                          haired         ­                                       witches
                  ­                                              
                                                                ­   - consume me -

                              Every night -------------------------------------------------------- every timE                
                                            ­                      
                                          ­                      It's worse than the night
                                                           ­       Scared of the spotlight

                                                      ­                                                               Why did you have to look at me?
                                                             ­                                         With those deep blue eyes
                                                            ­                      At times I am rather shy
                                          and I collapse when tempted
                       But only from you
                                                             ­                                                               an­d all that
You do, you do all that
You do, to pull me out
Of the fire in the seagulls mouth
                                                           ­ and into yours. . .
                                            With my shame arising!

              I should have ran into your arms
               Like a child awoken from my nightmare

My savior is hidden in your eyes

Open them love
                and let me
                    Fill back up
             On the precious blood

Of the lamb. . .

It is all I can think about
The stars, the years
Passed through
Sudden shivers of
The spine, the heart
Come over here
But don't knock too late
Another love will arise
Just like the morning
The next day; I follow too close
Into your old forest
The closest dose of ember dreams
On the memory of a candlestick
Years and years of minds melting
Together into stories that have
Stained the bloodstain back to
White, black, green fools - a hammer
Beat me loose
Unfold the peel, the grass outside
Inside my lungs
In two pieces
Into peace
We'll fall hand in foot
Tongue and mouth

**** the dye out of my shirt
The blood from the dirt

No closet freaks
No connecting beats

She connected me to her ear
I've never heard such fear

Nevermore, Nevermore
Could I ever be anymore?

Like your heartless shadow
Black soul
Confusion is more than

Real; is false
A false reality?

To just speak again
An open tomb
For you to lie in
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Crawl inside my stomach
But don't listen
To what I say. . .

I won a ghost
In the summer
One seven year

Her tongue was so sweet
    on the nape of my neck
The blood drew a grey skull
    I had no one to expect
Me home

You're wrong.

A spiny claw in my back
Calls out in the black rain
To award the new, new
New stranger into the pain
Into the flood. . .

Believe in not what you see
   But in what is complete. . .

But       ?     complete
       what is
             ?

I'll curse your name forever
Like a Bible thrown from
A broken balcony in the shady Havana

Low-life carpet roach
Approached me around noon
Or so I assumed

The absent minded assault
On ******* gun control

Laws or branches
Ripped from the
Family

Tree; besides myself
Beside myself

a ghost

The reflection on the door
Your hallway
Is a paradox

Choose *****,
                                  hardtimes,
                         lose,
                                                     ****(s)
                                       bad

It's so abusive
                          his language
His usage
                     a strand of hair
                                                 in a book
upstairs;                                                                      three

                                                        more times
                                                        more tunes
                                                                                                      Can you see it?
                                                                                                      Can you bee?

This is a spoken accident
I can't
I won't
Lose you again
I've said it before
and the **** of it all
Is I still can't remember them
The last time I left
I got stuck in a rut
In a solid state of seclusion
A twisted knuckle
In the seams

You can't go there again
Don't do this

So this is it
A question
Or an answer
That I don't like

Last year
still fresh in my head
I don't like it

You -

Them \
           / Everything
                                  from then \
and I got nothing
                                           from /
You -

I'm still stuck -------
                                  L a \    a \\ a//   a   a/ a         a  gggggg ing. . ….. .. . ….

Out of the words
Into the woods
Out of my mind
Into a sweet sublime

. . . . . . .

Something that I can't name
Or someone that I want
But can't change
I can't change
                                                          ­          Myself       ?       Did
                                                             ­       Or              ?       Andy
                                                            ­        Myself       ?       Die

                                                I           ­                                                         won't

Y­ou believe I did
                                                             ­                                                                 ­                    I believe you did

You thought you knew me
                                                     But you didn't think right this time
                                                I was all you ever wanted
                                           But I'm not at all right this time
                                      My words have been twisted
                                 My lines burned into lies
                             I should have guessed it
                          I'm just a ******* fly
                      On her narrow chest
                   Her breath, oh yes it was haunting
               My chest oh **** it, i'm lying
           Again, again, again
      This is my life
  This is how I am
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Can you get stuck somewhere else
      Will I ever die, alone like the rest
           Like the others, the ones I've ****** so bad

Oh good for me!
Good for you, so good for my death
Live for the worst, long for the best

                                                           ­                                                                 ­                    Can't reach it yet

I avoid your crowd
You **** me dry

A slippery *****
A fake hill
A plastic baseball bat

                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                 I'm a liar

You're nothing to me
I'm a flickering flame
Your last call to a dying name

No friend to call
No name to scratch on the wall

                                                           ­ If I could just feel the skin
                                                            ­The sun and the breeze
                                                          ­  The last words you'll ever send
       To me opening my chest again

                                       I can't repeat another word

      -The speech has left me;
               my face has met the curb-


Bloodstain
Good thing. . .


                                                             ­                                       I                         G
                                                               ­                                       Left                
                                                                ­                                          You
                   ­                                                                 ­                I                         O
                                                               ­                                       Told
                                                           ­                                               You
              ­                                                                 ­                     I                         O
                                                               ­                                       Was
                      ­                                                                 ­                   No
                                                                ­                                                              D

It's four o'clock in the morning
My lips are frozen
And the words that I've chosen
Haven't led me there; entirely yet. . .
And all the T.V. shows
Have all gone cold
With static, cold static.
And I can't hear the breeze
Outside my window
Anymore.

I kissed you in the *dark
My love did it or did it not mean a thing?

The weeds that grow in between the times
All around the many states of religion and regain.

Confusion*, that's what I call it.
Believe nothing that the night will tell
You, you, you can only feel your way around the unknown things well
Enough. . .

Kiss me goodnight.
I'll lie awake in sweet nightmares delight.

(Your name here)
(It's alright)

The end,                                                                                                                                                        the end.

                                                                           It  
                                                                             doesn't
                                                                 always
                                                                             have
                                                                          to
                                                                              be.

When
                                                         ­                                                               wi­ll                                      *I

                ­                            




                                ­                      find

                               ­                                                         the­ true




                                                        ­                              meaning


of
       my
                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                       









                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­             *life.?

It used to be the little things that I hated
Whenever I used to watch “God” smile at me from the front door
I forgot about the thin spaces in the yard that I could hide
And then I woke up. . .

Falling through the air looked easier when I was asleep
But now the words that I search for are far more hollow than I ever dreamed
Maybe a good dream could place itself in my writing instead of going away
Like the memories of the ghost I loved

She can’t hear me anymore    
My dreams are stained with blood and gold
The good thing is once I’m old I’ll just stay broken    
Instead of burning alive and feeling alright about how loud I scream at night

Do the lies inside his body cover up the moon that you and I once howled to?
When we felt so alive and slowly made a change in our memories    
I just hope that in the times that you’re alone,
You will maybe wish upon the stars to stop completely like the trees of our yesterday

Today I’ll scream at the ground outside
People seven miles away would be able to hear my wicked thoughts

If I could just kiss your hands once more I’d lose my breathe once more
But I’d better wait and see before I believe that I could try living a few days without me and you

I’m sure that their cold faces will say okay in one holy moment tonight
Maybe they will hold enough room for the truth that would come closed up so tight
Until an angel could come out of the water and takes the strangeness away so quiet

Let me complete the silence so I can feel your new sense of love upon my rough skin

Out there in the slow house the story could **** the darkness of the old town    
The sick lonely blue rain lives only once to save the song I once sang    
****, I guess the green secret came and helped me carry along alright in my life  
And then the blood red stain stood upon the white blank page and closed down all of the searching for you that I've done

So let me please scream aloud
So that maybe I will touch those lost souls with my deep voice  
In a way that you would be so sorry that you couldn't have reached me first    
Now my brain can begin its wicked ways of passing smoke through the city
But just enough that it takes a hold of the space that runs grey strands of hate through the dirt
Please understand this isn't what's shutting down ones broken army
It’s the eyes that run across this earth and fear the horrendous storm that meets our city in the morning

Girl, I know that pain comes with beauty
But just try and continue to live past the mean handed strangers in the mucky **** of it all.
Listen to the sound of the buildings falling down around the unseen disaster
You’ll be pulling strands of your hair out because the truth will burn down the doors
You once opened when your father was still here

And yet, the waves have taken another page out of tomorrow
When you reach out for an opening, the demons will offer an eternal hello
While all the best will get clouds for the minutes when they shared a breath for the forgotten

All of the questions that these ******* humans have about my poems
Make me understand why those people are so wrong in their parting with the black sea
It starts to put feet into the holes along the path finally chosen for its sweet song sang

When I start to care again is when I will be standing high upon the mountain
With my spirit fully awake and my sight just waiting to see the lights that lead me there
And in turn my bones will be given to the wind and I’ll read the book of heaven’s secrets
And all of the demons that tried to follow me there will drown in the lines they drew to try and cover my happiness.

Finally the walls of hell will be stripped from the silence that began with the message from the lying bleeding vision that we all drank down with such comfort and ease
You knew when to turn and walk away, but you didn't and now the walls of hell are naked
Because of all the nights you spent breathing the hours away, but not asleep.
While you lied awake you couldn't help but think of a land where beautiful scenes shined with such radiant sunlight and allowed the fears of this country to drift into the streaming skies and the meaning of all the years spent smelling the dying leaves brought tears to your eyes, but you still can’t sleep.

Meet the true, imperfect writer with fingers that are getting old and bones that are falling out of order
I figured the moment to pass this dark figure would probably happen on a beach
Where the clock couldn't explain the feelings it’s kept near the broken picture on the wall
And the way I always felt underneath its stained glass would certainly put gold into the pages of this unfinished book and then hopefully onto the streets of this brand new mirror

Step don’t sink into the unknown
Don’t wave goodbye and let time pass and be a waste
Into the infinite grand opening of the birth in the foggy woods

We are miles away from the summer now
So don’t get locked up in the *******!

Use the new methods you've learned to demonstrate the new form of closing your soft lips
Use them and then throw them back into their ****** hands
Try and pull the star away fast without trying to thank them for trying so fast

The answer may be to severe to think upon now
So try and remain calm when the simple plan gets burned on the ever changing shoreline
Thank the waves for not knowing the answer but praise God when he creeps in with an obvious sign

Instead of speaking of pretty places,
Try walking through the universe to seek comfort from these stretched out speeches.

You are barely lifting a finger to mark the piece of a colorful gift that a strong yet strange reason gave to you.

Destroy and enjoy the meanings that are unknown.

I heard a waterfall crashing down suddenly
It was wrapped around a restless picnic of sorrow
Tears were shed for the boy that went missing ahead of the morning dew
The mourning shade often covers the vast array of lies in a lover’s last verse
And it loves to embrace the ends of the message unspoken.
Although salvation bleeds upon the reasons;
The smells moving cannot flow wild enough into the sinking reasons that are unknown
And the insane fragile moments release a certain fury,
That the tides cannot unleash in such a hurry!
The heavy load of mistakes in your overflowing mind
Must carry like the mist that flows through a vacant lot of bad luck.

God bless this atmosphere that I am trapped under
Like a rock stuck in a plain circle.
I chose to forget the waters that once made me so happy.
I got so far away from the numbing sounds that tried their best to **** the sadness,
Just so I could see if I could actually do it on my own. . . and you know how I listen so well.
You took the words right out of my mouth.

In this tight turning hour of chance
Strangers hold these sayings
That are stuck like four minutes for four minutes after eleven seven PM
And this gives me a stumbling southern draw that could collapse suddenly
In the sleeping yet impending doom that is waiting patiently outside of your mind.
I’m watching the shell to see if it fits or breaks when moved near the bear in the room
That would refuse the birds so violently yet greet and guide the ***** burnt sweat-stain
From the other side of the tracks edge inside for a cup of your finest tea.

Their ability to fail doesn’t worry me, so I climb to the top of the fights in the tree limbs.
All the while buzzing and shaking the bay that abused me
and stripped me naked in those tattered streets.

Hit rewind and get back to the obvious yet sudden shock
When women appeared softly
Then ripped the lovely big sunset out of your wanting hands.