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It's been some time now
And I still haven't figured out how to walk past you
Without feeling that every muscle in my body is dying
Including the one beating in my chest
So fast
That my skin starts hurting.

And I'm sitting here now
Trying to cover my eyes with the smoke of the millionth cigarette I've smoked
Since I last saw your eyes.

And my skin still hurts.

And somehow
The calm rain washing the ground where I've spilled my drunken soul
Still sounds like your voice.

Like music does.

And my soul smells like you.

And my skin still hurts.

Like your absence does.

It's been some time now
And I still haven't figured out
How to close my eyes
Without seeing you in my dreams.

And my skin still hurts.

Like your smile does.
Do you see how see never look twice
Before crossing the road
Or how she holds those scissors
In her hands
As if wishing for them
To cut through her veins

Have you even heard her cry?
How her voice breaks?
Yet she makes a joke
And laughs as if nothing is wrong
Have you ever noticed?
How she never winces
If she gets hurt
How she never puts a bandage
On those cuts

Do you ever think?
Why she never sleeps at night
Why her poems rarely rhyme
How she cut her hair
Above her jaw line
How she says she doesn’t care
But when you leave, she sighs
Have ever seen?

How she never meets your eye
How she keeps smiling
Even when telling something
That’s not even happy
How she closes her eyes
For a bit too long

How she bites her lower lip
A bit too hard
How she no longer writes
Long paragraphs of love
On friendship and family
But all her poems
Have one thing in common
They’re sad In a way
That won’t make you cry
But will make you think
What’s wrong with this girl?

My dear,
Have you ever heard someone cry?
Without making a sound
Without shedding tears
Have even seen a wolf howling
For a moonless sky

__

Poem by Aditi Singh
I was scared.
Not because of you
But because I didn’t want to disappoint you
Because I’m not good enough for you

You seem to see me through this lense
That creates a facade around me
That I’m perfect
But I’m not

So here we are
Sitting in the white, Subaru Forester in your driveway
Listening to the rain falling around us
But we’re safe from all harm and cold

Our eyes meet
Then our fingers
Then our hands
Then our lips

Our lips crash together, not leaving room for air
I forget everything at this moment
All the fear, all the doubt
But like everything, it comes back eventually.

I realize that I can’t be perfect
And neither can you
But that’s what makes us great
No relationship is perfect and we know that

The only perfect thing is the facade that people see when they look into the lives of strangers.
'Perspective betrays with its dichotomy:
train tracks always meet, not here, but only
    in the impossible mind's eye;
horizons beat a retreat as we embark
on sophist seas to overtake that mark
    where wave pretends to drench real sky.'

'Well then, if we agree, it is not odd
that one man's devil is another's god
    or that the solar spectrum is
a multitude of shaded grays; suspense
on the quicksands of ambivalence
    is our life's whole nemesis.

So we could rave on, darling, you and I,
until the stars tick out a lullaby
    about each cosmic pro and con;
nothing changes, for all the blazing of
our drastic jargon, but clock hands that move
    implacably from twelve to one.

We raise our arguments like sitting ducks
to knock them down with logic or with luck
    and contradict ourselves for fun;
the waitress holds our coats and we put on
the raw wind like a scarf; love is a faun
    who insists his playmates run.

Now you, my intellectual leprechaun,
would have me swallow the entire sun
    like an enormous oyster, down
the ocean in one gulp: you say a mark
of comet hara-kiri through the dark
    should inflame the sleeping town.

So kiss: the drunks upon the curb and dames
in dubious doorways forget their monday names,
    caper with candles in their heads;
the leaves applaud, and santa claus flies in
scattering candy from a zeppelin,
    playing his prodigal charades.

The moon leans down to took; the tilting fish
in the rare river wink and laugh; we lavish
    blessings right and left and cry
hello, and then hello again in deaf
churchyard ears until the starlit stiff
    graves all carol in reply.

Now kiss again: till our strict father leans
to call for curtain on our thousand scenes;
    brazen actors mock at him,
multiply pink harlequins and sing
in gay ventriloquy from wing to wing
    while footlights flare and houselights dim.

Tell now, we taunq where black or white begins
and separate the flutes from violins:
    the algebra of absolutes
explodes in a kaleidoscope of shapes
that jar, while each polemic jackanapes
    joins his enemies' recruits.

The paradox is that 'the play's the thing':
though prima donna pouts and critic stings,
    there burns throughout the line of words,
the cultivated act, a fierce brief fusion
which dreamers call real, and realists, illusion:
    an insight like the flight of birds:

Arrows that lacerate the sky, while knowing
the secret of their ecstasy's in going;
    some day, moving, one will drop,
and, dropping, die, to trace a wound that heals
only to reopen as flesh congeals:
    cycling phoenix never stops.

So we shall walk barefoot on walnut shells
of withered worlds, and stamp out puny hells
    and heavens till the spirits squeak
surrender: to build our bed as high as jack's
bold beanstalk; lie and love till sharp scythe hacks
    away our rationed days and weeks.

Then jet the blue tent topple, stars rain down,
and god or void appall us till we drown
    in our own tears: today we start
to pay the piper with each breath, yet love
knows not of death nor calculus above
    the simple sum of heart plus heart.
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