Your eyes
Your smile
They take me places I haven't been in awhile
Your voice
Your sweet, sweet tone
I wish my feelings could forever be shown
Your kiss
Your touch
I'd give all only to have so much
Your time
Your heart
Though we are so far apart
Join me
Its all I ask
So I can no longer hide behind this hideous mask.

Oh the things incomparable
To a fading, degrading
Disposition and perspective
Pondering the ends of ends
The nooks, the crannies, the bends

Outlook is the base of all things
The flimsy thread that holds thoughts in place
The frayed wire that connects the thought to feelings
It's all so trivial, maniacal, stone-sturdy
That things feel perpetually dull unless you're hurting

Biological process fused to creative intent
How do two wholly different and separate ways,
One emerged in science, the other in nature, get along?
This is something I don't entirely understand
But it never hurts to wonder when time says that you can

Last week
I caught six fireflies in a jar
I put them in the microwave,
where they were promptly set ablaze,
and I said,
as they whirled around in the dead air,
“I guess fire flies.”
I’ve been waiting for the world to end since the day I was born.
When pressed for comment,
I respond by pushing the microphone
from my face
and abruptly ending
the interview.
I was told there were rules,
but I was also told I could be anything
I wanted to be,
and so far that hasn’t worked out for me.
I take 20 mg of fluoxetine every day
and six weeks later I can dream again.
Girl, it turns out I do have faith in medicine.
So tonight I’ll go to bed,
and tomorrow I’ll wake up
in another city
that I don’t want to be in,
and I’ll say,
“Resolved:
On balance,
I am a man of
chemicals and reactions,
of positives and negatives,
and while I may not know
where the **** I am headed,
it is certain that I will
end up there.”

I wonder
as I sit bathed in the half light from the lonely bulb left on in the kitchen,
the dog the only other person awake;
does she feel anything for me,
any bit of what I feel for her?
am I even a thought in her head before she falls asleep?
like she often is for me.
Am I anything to her?
She is the one I avoid writing about
for fear that she will see it, she this.
this is only the second poem I've written about her.
but, wherever you are at this moment,
I want you to know,
before I go to sleep
that tonight, like most nights
you will appear, even just momentarily in my thoughts before i fall asleep
The time I save for positive thoughts
and hopes for the future.
and that hope is simple:
that you're hoping that I'm thinking about you as I'm falling asleep

Inch by inch, mile by mile
Won't you stay for awhile?
Moment by moment, kiss by kiss
I've fallen in love with this

With
Murmmers under flannel sheets
Dark coffee & chocolate treats
The non-space between skin and lips
The gentle curve of twirling hips

...but
Like the tide you pull away
Slowly sadly this cannot stay
Looking back you turn to leave
My heart still sewn to your sleeve

This is the story of a girl

A girl who has expectations that even she can't reach.
A girl who feels more pressure then she probably should.
A girl who fights the tears every day,
Hating to show a weakness.
A girl who comforts her friends,
But never asks for comfort herself.

This girl goes everyday of her life
With a boiling anger inside of her.
Faster and faster until it explodes,
A yelling match happening with anyone who happens to be in her path.
Her tears flow silently as the loneliness consumes her,
Overflowing in the privacy of her room on bad days.

This is the story of a girl.

A girl who tries to stay strong everyday of her life,
Keeping on laughing and smiling
Her acting skills put to the test.
No one notices.
Not one.
No one.

This is the story of a girl.
And this is where it ends.

in the same way
that a drowning man
wants air;

violently, desperately &
without reservation.

(That is to say)

I need you.