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A Duvall Jan 2014
sometimes
-more times than it used to be
it feels like when you say goodnight
is an escape you use
to rip yourself away from me
but without causing any damage
because goodnight is sacred.
its sweet, its i love you.
its have a safe night.
sleep as much as you can
because sleep is nice and beautiful
and so are you.
goodnight
shouldnt make me feel so sad
its because you're leaving
and im not done
its because the minutes between your responses
are longer than they used to be
and the responses are shorter than they used to be
your one word is so small
and so not enough
i want more from you
do i want too much?
mabye you dont have enough to give.
do i always ask too much?
mabye you're just trying to live.
tell me the truth
in more than one word.
tell me the truth.
id hoped youd thought more of me
than to just pass by with an "im fine"
A Duvall Oct 2013
i've been caring about this too much.
thinking about you too much.
but i don't love you enough
because i've never once
had enough spine
to consider your feelings
and confess mine.
A Duvall Feb 2013
feed me.
im starving.
i want your calories,
i crave your sweetness
but i run from your fruit
and your caress on my lips.
because i fear
that you will be insubstantial,
detrimental-
making my hunger grow.
i try to hide because
i do not know that im dying
until you feed me
and i hunger for more
A Duvall Nov 2013
im thankful
for blankets, microwaves
and dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets.
you say your thankful
for trees, air, sleep and turkey
and i say im thankful for my dog
and then you say your thankful for microwaves, too.
and then i say
im thankful for you.
and you pause-
then you smile
and you say
*and you too.
A Duvall May 2014
radiating out of the hollow hole inside me
where butterflies used to thrive
is a saddness so enveloping
so thorough, that it is filling me up.
and drowning me from the inside.
suffocating and sobbing and begging for air,
it beats at my eyelids and bursts out of my eyes.
this icy saddness which freezes and burns my throat
and makes me curl up like a sinking body in the artic oceans.
as if im protecting the frozen hollows of my heart
against any onslaught of unrequited love i might suffer next.
everynight i find tears on my face as i chide my sobbing
into a quieter tremble of my body,
i cannot let anyone see how torn you've left me
the mask i wear is perfected, self created of shame,
i wish i could show someone
im not as unbreakable as i pretend.
but though i ache to be loved
and i miss you
and i have dreams of kissing you
circumstances demand
that i suffocate and sink
to the coldest darkest place
that i have ever been.
A Duvall Feb 2013
The devil cries
because hes tired of the dark.
Do you think god grieves
down in his heart?
we are all gods children,
but it seems to me
that good and bad can get hard to tell apart.

the devils tears are sweeter than the rain
because he feels the world
and knows its his pain
there's much sadness in the world
and if hes to blame
don't you think even he
would feel some shame?

i can be cruel and i can be kind
do you think evil rests in my mind?
what if there were only you and me
and what we make of this world,
left alone like children
we will fall to our knees.
to escape from our greed.

If you'd admit to the evil in your soul
And saw that God would not fix it..
Would you wish for a cure?
With earthly ways we can save our days


The gods have bigger games to Play..
A Duvall Aug 2015
I lie in my room,
In the evening dimness.
In the summers dying heat
and stare out my window
up to the ever shifting branches  
searching through to find glaces
of the end of day sky.

i listen to the cicadas
the crickets and the owls

we used to do this.

we would lie in the twilight swathed in blankets,
hips touching, hands brushing,
we would contemplate life
just feeling this endless moment
its beautiful serene stillness
where we don't have to do anything
where our breathing is amplified in the quiet
and the loudest thing in the room is how close to me you are

for me, these moments are now just loneliness.
because my room is the same in the grey light..
but it is no longer drenched with that wistful longing
to finally reach that next still moment, staring at the sky.
its now just grey and empty.
a lonely picture at  the end of a lonely day.


i wonder sometimes if you miss how it was
do you look back to the soft silence of my room
wanting to hide in its serenity?

and more-

do you ever..

miss me?
im not even as lonely as my poems make me sound, its just something i always write about
A Duvall Jul 2016
this is a girl
with a steel spine
whose been hurt too many times
this is a girl
whose let too many people treat her wrong
and who wont stand for it any longer.
this is a girl who will not put her happiness in other peoples hands, no one is allowed to make her unhappy.
this is a girl.. who can cut someone off
and acted like they never even existed
and i am the girl who has.
A Duvall Aug 2012
Lightning loves the earth.
Has- ever since its birth.
Searching for a perfect storm
To kindle their romance.
It races down
To reach the ground,
then runs away to snicker.
They fight and bicker.
A true married couple.
Would you ever like to double?

The lightning loves the earth.
I’ve seen it with my eyes.
As the blue streaks the skies,
I never wonder why..
The lightning loves how stable
The earth always seems to be.
And the earth loves watching
Lightning zoom on free.
A Duvall Aug 2012
I am a lonely ghost.
that no sees
and no one knows.
that no one needs,
and where no hope grows.

i am just a lonely ghost.
That's broken up inside.
because no one ever really sees
what my smile hides.

i am just a lonely ghost!
walking a long highway.
some cars fly past,
but no one looks my way.

so they sing their songs
and do they know i stare?
because this road i walk is too long.
but do they even care?
A Duvall Oct 2012
meddle meddle meddle worm
had crawled beneath the skin
of a big red juicy apple
to see if it was sick.
that reckless worm dug some more
it warmed itself and wormed itself
into the apples core
and there it saw the rotten seeds
and all the dying spores
and turned and thought
"oh, what a big mess!'
but as it squirmed towards the sky
it opened up its eyes,
and the meddle meddle meddle worm
saw her rotten trail,
and to her big surprise,
she finally realized
that she had been the cause
of that apples slow demise.
A Duvall Aug 2012
Every door is open
To let in the sky
Every day a dream,
Please don’t hide.

Don’t waste away these sunny days
Like me, don’t squander your pretty ways
Little ******* my front porch swing
You always know what’s best to sing

Do as my grandmother says.
Don’t worry the humming bees
They float towards the blooming trees
Open your eyes to the world I see.

Green Easter grass between your toes
May rains upon your nose              
Summer breeze through your hair
Beautiful, you make life seem fair

Summer songs and trampolines
Sweet smelling magnolia trees
Georgia fair and Georgia kind
I love the way you spend your time

Beethoven on the piano keys
Worn out antique car seats
Dads out back fixing the john deer
Were mowin’ early this year

Songs so sweet I whisper here
Looking over my front porch swing
Taking in this endless spring,
Open your eyes to the world I see.
A Duvall May 2014
the worst part
is when i have the dream
where i find you in a crowd
and you weren't expecting me
but you turn and instantly
start kissing me.
so naturally you instantly
just hold me and love me
and im safe in your arms
im yours again
it feels so wonderful,
this dream feels real
but it hits like a hammer
when i lie in my bed awake
and know
that ill never have you again.
that you'll never love me again.
A Duvall Aug 2012
im cold.
deep down in my gut.
the backs of my arms ache
for someones touch.

i have an inkling
why my heart is sinking,
and my lungs try to breathe
as my ribcage rots.

this chill i've got
while im wrapped up firmly..
where its from, i know not.
this ache is my only certainty.

be it tiredness..
or  loneliness..
i still feel this chill.
this empty thrill.
A Duvall Aug 2013
what if
the entire world
and everything we saw
was painted by angels
and there was a raffle every day
and the winning angel
got to paint the sunset
this isnt a poem, i don't feel like rhyming today
A Duvall Nov 2013
i love more things than boys.
-i like waking up on a Saturday morning
and watching the sunlight dance around my room.
i like breathing in the crisp clean morning air
then snuggling back to sleep inside my warm blanket palace.
-i like walking down my stairs on said Saturday morning and smelling waffles
and hearing my dad laugh and sing zz top and then hotel California.
i like hearing him try hard to decide between the sound of silence and the beach boys while sizzling bacon on the stove.
i like hearing my mom shuffle zombie-like into the kitchen and make eyes at the full coffee ***, and then at my dad- who lovingly filled it for her.
listening to their banter as my sunlight-filled-angel-kissed little sister wakes up and lathers butter on every last pancake.
i like being a part of them, being the bacon eater and the quiet listener, the new train of thought in this bright loud space.
i like more than just boys.
i like my life
and i do not need male hands
and my lack of sleepy bedroom eyes to define my life.
im worth more than the constant want of something i've never had.
my dad, the myth-busters enthusiast and pancake flipper is the biggest testament to that fact.
because of them i can never forget that i'm happy.
ugh
A Duvall Sep 2012
ugh
sitting straight up
with my silent throat aching
a beat wracks my body
my soul is waking.

at the base of my spine
in the pit of my stomach
my soul wishes of its own mind
to stretch out of my body
and go out of control

music aches in my throat
my body spasms
to my hearts metronome
i need let out my soul.

it bangs around my body
which is its cage
then out bursts a joyous whisper
and i sing, unafraid
A Duvall May 2014
i try and i try but i cannot sleep
when i close my eyes i can only weep
A Duvall Nov 2013
why are you acting like a stranger?
we're stagnating, and id wager
that if you had the chance
you'd erase this fumbling dance.
erase it from your memory
and from history
why i'm drawn to you is a mystery.
we never really had a chance.

were so completely different
and i'm trying to forget you.
what more do you wish of me?
we never really had a chance.
A Duvall Aug 2013
everyone i know is having a hard time.
everywhere i go someones trying not to cry.
its like the world is ending and i don't know why.
every person i know is fighting to survive.
i've blamed myself and how stupid am i?
to assume that my happiness is being stolen from others lives.
A Duvall Sep 2013
-maybe your over-thinking, maybe your depressed.
maybe its anxiety, maybe its stress.
maybe its sadness or maybe its a death.-
hes withdrawn, acting like hes dead.
his eyes see nothing but he numbly nods his head.
im tired of worry i want love instead.
this boy is trouble, broken and distant.
this boy is confounding though my feelings are insistent.
i don't want to feel. i don't want to care.
his eyes have stopped seeing through their stare.
hes sick, mind and soul.
i want to fix him but at what toll?
he's addicted. challenged by his mind.
and i'm still ignorantly by his side.
how much of this can i abide?
A Duvall Jun 2015
When you've finally resigned
yourself to fall asleep

instead of Yearning
for the last attentions from loved ones,

when you lay in your bed
Where you were once kissed..
and all of your thoughts turn
to those who you miss

though, there was never really love     
    in their eyes
it was on their Lips,

and you were drunk on their lies.
you miss the feeling of possibility,       
   the hope of so desired affection.

And now you have no chances
Of being tucked into bed
Of no kisses tonight..

and now

you have no one

to tell you

goodnight.

— The End —