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Anastasia M Apr 2013
I survive off heartache.
I am tempted by sadness.
Such things are goosebumps,
Such things are lights reflecting off the still water,
Such things are nights by the fire wrapped in quilt.

Peace found in love,
In emotional destruction,
In passionate aching.
Anastasia M Apr 2013
Secret lover,
Hidden in my dreams,
Why can't he be you?

Seamlessly you show me love,
Caress my heart with poetic brow,
Teasing my mind,
Endless philosophical pursuit.

And he doesn't see my pain as you do.
And he can't sooth me like the idea of you.
Hold me endless,
Poetic. Strong. Effortlessly Broken.
Why can't he be you?
Anastasia M Apr 2013
If I am abuse,
I am irrational,
And I am insecure,
Then you are a *******,
You are insane,
And you are unstable
To want to stay.
Anastasia M Apr 2013
I surround myself with books because people irk me.
Anastasia M Apr 2013
Don’t buy into it.
Don’t lose yourself by the ads, the images, the appeals.
It is here to make you pay for it-“you lack this”.
Of course you lack it.
“It” is man-made; it cannot be obtained.
No one can fulfill that, not one thing can fulfill that lack, that hole, nothing but yourself.
Give yourself that love, give yourself that nourishment, because those things, those images and stereotypes, they cannot, will not, give you satisfaction.
It’s a game.
*** has become a game, music has become a game.
In order to win the game, you must be the best.
You must play well, and you must have everything they sell you.
It is Competition; and it is killing us.

Only love for self-as we are, as we were born to be, can overcome the lack.
And the best thing about this love,
Once you live it,
Accept it,
Be it,
You drop competition.
And once you drop competition,
Suffering ends,
Wars end,
Hatred and negativity ends.

But humans don’t want to drop competition,
Because humans have adapted their minds  
To live in fear,
Because fear gives them something to do.
It gives us something to accomplish.
And this, this makes me sad.
Anastasia M Apr 2013
I am empty,
Miserable,
Loved.

I do not deserve to live.
I deserve nothing.

I am forever in this body until it dies.
Until my flesh has become dust,
And I am once again reunited with the stars.

Give up on me, poor fellow.
Your love is suited elsewhere.
Be happy and free without me.
Anastasia M Feb 2013
When life tests you,
It's hard to hold onto reality.
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