My tears will accompany me tonight,
And they shall release all my poisons,
And they shall comfort me,
And they will fulfill me.

Will my whole life be a constant conscious struggle, a battle between the emotional and logical? Is it safe to assume I am forever tortured by my conscious mind? I am constantly seeking my full potential-and when I feel I am close to knowing, somehow I lose myself-and I'm wrong or deeply disturbed.

Sometimes I want to be a bird and coo strange noises.

How do I clean up my act when all I am is afraid?

I want to breathe bliss while I'm in your arms!
I want to squeeze tight to the wings of wind,
And let go-all at once falling to depths and heights never felt before.
I want to play in the dirt and smother myself in clay.
I want to lick the leaves on the trees,
And watch bunnies nibble on grass blades.
I want to cast away all the sadness of the planet and embrace an old woman,
And thank her for her life!
I want to make music, dance, and climb trees.
I want you to be you, always.

Such a desolate fate,
Driven by insolent oafs,
Though I am no better.

Incandescent fervor,
Merciless minds,
Constant remembrance of meticulous void.

Mindless opinions,
Pungent noise,
Ethereal existence,
General facade,
Contrived smile,
-hollowed.
Nothing good can grow here now.

Empty, ugly fate.
Burdened conscious.

I've heard love doesn't last;
Even if it's there,
It will wane,
Fade away.
And just because you love someone,
Doesn't mean you ought' to be with them.
And just because you feel the pain,
Doesn't mean it's there.

Well, now, look here sir!
I love,
I ache,
I cry,
I smile!
And if love will fade, then it was never really there,
For the love that is real never disappears.
And it's up to choice to decide what to do,
Either stay, or go, or give up here.
For only your life can be lived by you,
It's up to chance to pull us through.
& Though I hate to admit it,  
My ultimate fear is losing you.

How do I rid my self destructive habits in love?