Am not the girl you fell in love with
Not now, after all the pain.
You're not the boy i skipped to meet
With heart as light as a feather.
You're too distant, too aloof.
You showed me the world,
I believed it was mine.
And now its hazy and grey.
But i know,
We were meant to be together.

Am a little rough around the edges
Growing old does that to you.
But you're worn out as well
From running circles around me.
I long for the guy who wanted me,
Everytime and anytime.
I felt needed, loved, wanted.

I want to take you and make you mine,
Love you more than you expect,
Accept you even when you hurt me.
I might not get it right,
But even when i break your heart,
I won't leave if you'll have me.
I promise to try.

there's something fundamental about existing
that shudders me.
and even in the moments
that I'm happy
I know I haven't escaped it.
it hovers persistently
in the background
and I can't ignore it forever.

misery is eternally pervasive.
what is there to be done of that
aside from suicide?

"don't be sad ryan, there are people dying in africa."
"you're right. that does make me feel better."

there are people suffering more than me.
what a load off my mind.
I can rest easy knowing that the suffering
that suffocates my every conscious thought
is just a mere droplet in the ocean of
unhappiness.

what a load off my mind.

I'm sorry
I do not feel that way
I'm sorry
You did not know
I'm sorry
I thought I did
I'm sorry
But when I say "I have to go"
I mean
I don't feel this way, and I can't fake it anymore
You have always been such a sweet friend
And though there wasn't much to begin with
It must come to an end
I wish that I liked you, believe me I do
But I know that I can't
And I don't want to use you
So when I say "I have to go"
I mean
*I don't feel this way, and I can't fake it anymore

"Drink me!” “Eat me!”
You messed up little girl
Stop fidgeting, You talk too much
You're crying all the time
You're spiraling down that rabbit hole
We can't save you every time
"Drink me!” "Eat me!”
You can't continue this way
You sleep too much
You don't sleep enough
You talk of suicide
"Drink me!” “Eat me!”
They'll surely help
Anything is better than you right now
Oops, the green one makes you way too high
So take this blue one too
This yellow one keeps the blade away
Better take two of those
The little white dots keep the pounds away
Don't mind your tingling toes
The big white oval keeps your muscles loose
From that miracle yellow dose
Lastly, these aqua discs will melt your fears away
You'll sleep like a baby every night
And keep our pain away
"Drink me!” “Eat me!”
Become normal again!
It's simple chemistry
Just wash these down when the time is right
And we'll never have to worry again
I'll never be a worry again

It's disgusting.

I'm so repulsed
By all of these teenage boys
With a half tuned acoustic
Serenading the pants
Off of girls who don't know
The difference between
A sweet gesture
And a sweet talker

It's disgusting.
The wide eyes and sunrise
The picnic baskets and bouquets
The hand written love letters
From boys with the worst of intentions
For the girls
With the purest of hearts

Stop it
Just ******* stop it already
That's not love
That's not even close
That's just what you're told
To believe in

Love?

Love is the *******
And the longing
Love is a cold night
With an even colder beer
Sitting alone in a bar
Wishing your sweet pea
Was closer somehow
But knowing that's nothing short of
******* impossible

Love is breaking into pieces
On the pavement in public
In mid-July
And not giving a **** who sees
Your tears staining the sidewalk chalk
Love is just another metaphor
For hopscotch

Love is a broken door
A broken window
The screaming and the spit
The blood and the sweat

Love is putting up with
All of the ****
Someone throws at you
Like a deranged chimpanzee

Love is wanting to **** someone
That you know
You could never live without

Love is injecting too much of your soul
Into someone who isn't worth
An ounce of your time
And pretending like
You're actually happy

Love is a ******* disaster.

But it's always
Always
Worth it.

*Isn't it?