should i be doing this
speaking to the unknown
its kinda thrilling
twinkling with nostalgia
but when im brought back down
the guilt crushes me senseless

what the **** is this
what am i doing

inner conflict

i listen to it on repeat
the only thing that gets me
it made me cry
hearing it through the lights
cant help but to be reminded
being numb, alone and blinded

they dont notice the bodies piling up
around us like its modern art
stripped of dignity, left in the gutter
another thing she'll add to her letter

its up to her to fix herself
whilst you keep her on your shelf
the confidence is sickening
to those who are listening

whilst she is slumped on her bed
hearing the world move on
she listens to it on repeat
she is claimed by the song

baked salmon and rosemary potatoes
i couldn’t believe that even you
could be reminded of warm sentiments like this

even more so i couldn’t believe
that i am something
to remember

the winding stairs
leading to the place
where all is unravelled

the furniture conceals vulnerability
but you‘re watching
the trauma gently oozes out
of the exhausted host

friday night was for an hour of chatter
driving home rehearsing what was said
sometimes wondering about the life you keep so close
other times completely lost in my story

now i bathe in the unknown
wondering if the future holds the sensation
of baked salmon and rosemary potatoes
accompanying my potential exploration

i love that
in a matter of seconds
my hairs can stand on end
my skin is represented by goose bumps
my eyes and face
soaked in tears

the little things like this
the thing which deems me as pathetic
in the eyes of society

but i love that about me
i love that i can feel so much
my heart can give out so much love
even if it’s not real

you may laugh
or be unaffected
but my speciality is empathy
and i will let myself cry

emptiness is so familiar
it can feel like our home
sometimes you are so wrapped up in it
you forget to open the door

look at what you’ve done
an angel in the eyes of the source
the ones who battered you, crushed you
manipulated your mind, twisted your sanity

take the leap, dear one
don’t look back at what they’ve done
rip the sugar-coated invitation to hell
take your time, no time to dwell

believe what your soul is telling you
not everyone is a liar
listen to within
and elevate higher

it's like being left out in the cold
over and over again

does honesty even exist
or am i a magnet for lies

everyone i meet
vomits deception

its sickening
but loneliness is scary

this weather we're having
mirrors my inner emotions

i know something is hidden
and it hurts