i wish you would have told me
that you would never be ready for me to grow up
i wish you would have held me
and gently pushed my hair behind my ear and whispered;
"my love is limited."

had you warned me perhaps i would have had an easier time
admitting i was fragile
how long does fragility last?
had you told me when i was small perhaps it would have been easier
for me realize i had the power to choose
whether or not you could hurt me
that is, if it is true that we have a say
in who hurts us.
is it a choice?

i don't know, but perhaps if i knew you wouldn't be staying
in my life for the long run
i would have let go of you sooner
instead of finding myself trapped
between knowing i need to let go of you now
but hardly grasping on to understanding what that really means
at all.

i will wade out
                        till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
                                       Alive
                                                 with closed eyes
to dash against darkness
                                       in the sleeping curves of my body
Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
                                            Will i complete the mystery
                                            of my flesh
I will rise
               After a thousand years
lipping
flowers
             And set my teeth in the silver of the moon

Coffee and cigarettes. Barbecues and ball games
An unordinary lifestyle. Is this the aim?

Doing 9 to 5's and friday nights with friends
Eating, being merry, drinking away weekends.

Routine is good. Routine is healthy.
This is the right thing. This is becoming wealthy.

Financial success. A roof over our head.
Three well balanced meals and an inviting bed.

A partner to care for and who cares for you.
So grow up, you dreamer. Get over your post grad blues.

I don’t want to write poetry
I want to bottle the essence of
The vast inner-workings of the universe
And give it to you for free
I don’t charge money for my philosophy
I couldn’t be pushed to look at you
Unless it was deep in your eyes
And swallowing the words you speak
Digesting their meanings and subtle
Ironies
The inconsistencies of your desires and your actions
Are like diamond dust on my tongue
Tears upon realizing your forgotten pain
Fermenting and sloshing around in that
Hidden belly of depth
The intense turmoil, the rapturous escape
Blend them on slow so that I may see
Your blues and reds trace fingerprints of
Purple across the glass
Oh and the times where you forgot
Something important,
And your heart skips a beat and your hair stands
A little
Your face flushes, oh the pinks
And once you find it,
In my arms
I was waiting the whole time
Impatiently at moments
But all the while,
I just longed to drink up your sighs of relief
Your giddy smiles piling joy after joy within me
And those moments where you are about to fall asleep
And you **** awake suddenly,
Your eyes, still distant and dreamy
And the slow release as you lay back down
On my chest
And I don’t care that my arm went numb 15 minutes ago
As long as I don’t disturb you
The things I do for love
Or more like..
The things I do because I love

But I’m still here
No doubt, lonely and without
Any proper ventilation
For my soul is gaseous and restless
My thoughts are emaciated and
And my feelings are callused and unbending
I sometimes, don’t feel anything any more
And that is what I fear,
That I may shrivel, haven’t created even a fraction
Of this dream
This highly unrealistic yet truthful dream in which
Some form of power, even in fibers and threads
Pulls my chin up to gaze in wonder

The amount of days I've been given have been kind, but each day rather cruel
Trying to lift the thumb off my back of the looming stresses that rule
It could be me again and this is not the end, if fact it probably is
So before I unleash my problems, swear to mind your business

I would be lying if I said I wanted this day to last a forever
Because I found myself one forever short once we weren't together
I've said my piece so many times the puzzle is almost complete
So I've decided it's time to get off my knees and back onto my feet

I've fallen so much I keep Flintstones band-aids close at hand
My heart sewn to my sleeve for only you, which I've yet to understand
You unscrewed the machine that was me and left the parts on the floor
And I'm pretty sure I won't work just right anymore

Fading is the dynasty of what we labeled our so-called "love"
Like sticking my foot inside my sock at night to find it's a glove
The discombobulation is so overwhelming, I think the ocean is jealous
Could I start swimming now or is that being too over-zealous

Life is hard and the people crammed in it tend to make it worse
At times I tell myself it to cry, look to the sky, and curse
But there's a tune in my mind that won't seem to shut up from that one song
Telling me life is a ride, kid: grieve, learn, burn, and move on