My parents are taking a ton of stuff away from me.... Won't be on as much anymore... Sorry?

I'm not a quitter,
But I don't fight in the one's I always lose.

Take some of my heart.
Just rip it to shreds.
Leave me with nothing,
But a hole in my chest.

So don't tell me you love me,
I'll push you away.
I'm not afraid of your feelings,
But of what I might say.

Bit off too much,
I think I might choke.
I'm getting swallowed
By the pit in my throat.

I don't like you
Because I don't get you.

I don't understand you and it scares me.
So I stay away.
Far





far

Away.

It's awkward.
Or maybe it's just me.
I don't want you to know.
No, not yet.

You said you were sorry.
Then you said it's my fault.
So why should I accept that,
If I know you'll just do it again.
Why should I trust that?
Why should I accept anything less than the truth?

You didn't even realize you said it.
And it's fine.
...I guess...
It's little things like that,
That tear me apart inside.
But you didn't realize.
No one does.
It's fine.
...I guess.

Broken shadows in the bathroom mirror.
Remember back when I was young and didn't know and didn't care?

Don't tell her.
Never tell her that her dreams can't come true.

There's a small percent that it could happen.
small,
But it's something.

Don't tell her.
The reality she's in kinda *****,
So she made one up.

*Don't tell me.

So this is the thanks I get for saying what I feel. This is what I get for thinking that I actually had a chance.
If only people could love with their hearts, not their eyes.

And my heart stopped when I saw him.
I wanted to run,
Into his arms,
Or away forever?

I thought I knew more.
I thought I knew for sure.
I thought I’d find you at my door.
But no.
Life’s not that perfect
Hell no.
I thought wrong.

I thought you were the one.
Or at least a step nearer.
You blinded me but now,
My vision is clearer.

I know what I was to you.
I’ve figured you out.
So like me or not,
I’m gone.

What are you trying to get me to do?
What do you want me to say?
What are you trying to get me to lose?
Do you even care if I stay?

They're out there.
Don't give up.
Not today,
Maybe tomorrow?

I’ll write everything you never said to me.
I’ll put them in a jar.
And pull one out when it rains.
Maybe it’ll stop this pain.
But maybe it’ll break my heart.

I used to always think it was them.
I thought I hadn't done anything wrong.
I believed that they were the ones missing out.

But now I know.
Now I know that it was me *the whole time.

Me and you.
Is it a problem,
Or a solution?

Why is it that,
He thinks that I’m pretty?
He thinks that I’m smart,
But I won’t let him fill,
That place in my heart.
Why is it that,
You don’t want me at all?
You lie and you cheat,
But for you I still fall.

Caught between the screen and the glass.
Please release me.

If I were to the point where I am now two years ago,
I would've had a mental breakdown




*...oh... wait....

And there's only so much someone can do
Before they
Lose

Control

Of
it


all

I don't want to be like her.
I simply want what I deserve.
But you fell for her.

I don't want you to know,
I don't want to let you go.
But you saw right through me.

I don't want to change my mind,
I just want you to be mine.

And you're not.


Of course.

I really want out,
But I'm terrified of what lies ahead.

And the word 'no' only makes me want it more.

And I could shout it to the world,
And you still wouldn't hear.
I could push you away,
But I'd still want you near.
Foolishly I fall.
I never seem to learn.
Everyone seems happy,
When will it be my turn?

I know I shouldn't feel this way,
I know that you're not good.
But I can't bring myself to say,
Though I know that I should.

I know I'm not good at it.
I know I could improve,
But I don't think I care enough to try.

I close my eyes,
I think of you.
I open my eyes,
I think of you.
I wish I would forget you,
But that just might be worse.